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Is anyone else's therapist suggesting that they watch videos that involve kids getting molested In movies As exposure. I feel like my therapist isn't doing what she supposed to.

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life

I have made extremely horrible childhood mistakes (harm ocd and pocd related) at the ages of 9-13... my OCD tells me that Im a horrible unforgivable person because of these real events, and that Im a monster... seeing all these famous people being accused for horrible crimes has made me question whether or not im just as bad as them or worse...

I have bad intrusive thoughts about me committing past assault, rape, etc. Today, there’s a popular online streamer that’s being accused of SA, the allegations seem to be true to me at least. Now I’m having flashbacks or thoughts about a girl I dated years ago. I tried to make a move on the first night together, she said no and I respected that. But on the second night, I can’t remember if we were cuddling in the move theater and if we did, did I touch her chest and then further to her breast. I have rumination like was she uncomfortable, did I rape her, etc. Any advice would be appreciated

I initially started therapy on NOCD due to sexual intrusive thoughts revolving around many taboo themes. The scariest one being POCD. Today, I can say that thoughts around this theme rarely impact my ability to live life and enjoy life. I thought that once I got over this theme, everything else would be easier. However, that’s not exactly the case. My obsessions have now attached to something which my mind believes to be scarier than being a pedophile, it’s being a necrophile. I am taking many of the things I have learned from therapy up to this point and applying it to this new theme, which has helped tremendously. Also, I’m not doing a lot of the harmful compulsions (before I knew what compulsions even were) that I did when I was in the thick of POCD e.g. rumination, checking, testing. I am much better equipped to tackle this new theme knowing that in the end ERP can work for any theme since it’s all just OCD. My issue is that when I brought this up to my NOCD therapist she had never heard of what necrophilia was or had any past experience with it, which was a little disheartening to hear. However, we thought of some exposures I could implement and am currently working on those. One of them being looking at photos of family members who are now deceased since my original fear came from a sexual intrusive thought I had about a deceased family member. Does anyone here have any suggestions on exposure to combat this theme? I understand it’s not the exposures themselves but the response prevention that leads to healing. However, in order to do the response prevention portion a good set of exposures would be great!

What medications are people taken? I am currently on mirtazapine 30mg. I think it may be time for another docs visit as I don't think it is working well anymore.. sick of feeling the way I do. Constant brain activity with hocd is very tiring. Can't seem to catch a break lately. This last week has been horrendous interms of obsessions and then checking. Having a massive effect on my relationship with my wife (she knows i struggle with anxiety but doesn't know the reason why). My trigger words during normal conversations make my anxiety spike so much that she can clearly see this happening, then she starts to say words that she knows triggers my anxiety.. like the most trigger word for me right now is "come out", which is used in most conversations but I just can't stop the anxiety when I hear this, my brain starts to ask questions..

Just wanted to let you guys know . I hop in from time to time to read and check in and wanted to let you guys know that I’ve dealt with a lot of the things mentioned here if not all . I am not a trained therapist. I’m just telling my own testimony in hopes to help others. 1. It’s not the thoughts that are the problem …. It’s the relationship we have with the thoughts. The more we realize that OCD thoughts have absolutely no meaning , the quicker you can move forward. The anxiety will lessen once your relationship changes and you’ll be able to overcome. 2. There’s not a different regime for each subtype . ERP is the best approach ..Don’t run from these thoughts …. Sit with them And retrain your brain to learn that they don’t mean a thing. If you’re having SOCD about a particular friend , have the courage to go out and hang with them. It’s tough but the more you expose yourself to the environment that you’re afraid of …. The more your brain realizes that these fears are irrational. If you’re having self harm OCD . Expose yourself to the things that you fear … At the root of OCD is fear and doubt….. it’s not the subtype itself …. Approach them all in the same manner. OCD hit me like a ton of bricks 4 years ago …..I struggled tremendously about 2 years before knowing how to handle it or even what it was. I lost my Job due to OCD and almost admitted myself in a hospital several times because I thought I was going crazy. It was almost two years of debilitating anxiety until I learned what I was dealing with was OCD. A few subtypes to name : health anxiety, sexual orientation ocd, self harm ocd, sleep anxiety , fear of being a pedophile. It’s like once I got over one ….the next would come until I realized they were all coming from the same thing ….that’s when my life started to change Fast forward, with the help of God, I learned to retrain my brain and not to worry about intrusive thoughts when they come in from time to time. actually learned to take them as the joke they are . The more I exposed myself … the more I trusted myself . Nobody else can reassure you … better yet you don’t need reassurance because it’s actually what keeps you in the cycle. Just Trust God Now I’m a Middle school teacher , in graduate school working towards my degree in counseling with a bright future ahead. I say this to say that, if I can do it , you can do it too …. I’m no different from any of you … I didn’t have a therapist at the time so take advantage if you do. Don’t view OCD as bad ….. it’s apart of you that you will learn to manage. I don’t regret OCD cause it has made me a less fearful person …. I’ve fixed fear and doubt that rooted from my childhood through the struggles of OCD . So it was a blessing in disguise. This is a temporary phase for all of you , trust me . And I know how hard it is to believe that when you’re in the middle of it . But remember. Once your relationship with the thoughts changes that’s when you Free yourself Love all 🙏🏾

Worried about wrong things I did as a 18/19 year old and it’s so hard to know what to do. I’m 21 now, but I’m so worried I was a p without even realizing that’s what it was. There’s multiple things I’m worried about having done/potentially done and that makes me so ashamed. Like I’m worried I was attracted to characters that were like 17 when I was 19 and stuff like that. I don’t know what to do. I wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. I feel like I don’t care enough about this I just feel like there is nothing I can do and I feel like everything I’m worried about having done is turning out to be real. It makes me feel better to know that I have learned and grown and I know better now when it comes to certain things I did. I also was homeschooled with no friends and never around other kids/teens so I know some things I don’t know maybe I genuinely thought certain things were ok. But I feel like saying that is an excuse. But it’s not an excuse. I can recognize I’ve still done things wrong. I don’t know how to feel and I don’t want to defend myself at all. But that’s what I feel like I’m doing. I feel so frustrated and ashamed and disgusting. What do you do when you realize you think things you did are real but there’s nothing you can do about it now? It’s the most defeating feeling. I feel like I’m one step backwards again. I just continue to remember more things I did were wrong and find more details. And I feel like what do I do about it now??? I don’t know. I just want to be normal I don’t want to be a predator. I just want peace again. I want a normal life. Why did I have to do certain things? I feel like why did it take me so long to grow up and realize certain things were weird or wrong or questionable.

this is probably the worst thing I've ever worried about just because everyone says "people don't give in to their intrusive thoughts if they did then they aren't intrusive' After I mostly seen that it has me freaking out because then it makes me think it was really me because in the moment it felt real and felt like something nasty took over me to make me keep looking and then the nasty thought I had with it it's like usually when I have a nasty thought I'm like nah but this time I can't believe I actually listened to the thought and went along with the thought not even thinking about it twice just went along with it like I said it was like something nasty took over me and I literally TURNED MY HEAD I turned my head! to look more because my thought you'd me too like I was almost into it and then the nasty thought appeared then I freaked out and have been since then What's crazy is I can't even Remember exactly what the thought was I had I just know it was nasty Me turning my head more and look more because my thought told me to and then the nasty thought that I had about what I was looking at it felt like me felt so real and it's scaring me I don't want it to really be me and I dont know if anyone can help me on that which scares me even more I just want to cry and go back to what I was before I'm just so scared it was actually me trying to get into it like Get INTO IT and turn my head to look more because it felt like me Please I hope someone can help i don't want it to be actually me because it was something a person shouldn't like and it's freaking me out

I’m making a psychiatrist appointment finally to get medication and I’m mortified. Talking to an OCD specialist about my POCD is one thing but with an psychiatrist who can easily doubt that it actually is is horrifying. I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I have no idea even if/when i do get the medication if it’ll actually help or just prove that I am a p. I already feel like I am and I don’t know what to do.

Why tho i get sexual images of my family members with my friends and random people , with ocd is this and why and how i recover

This is all probably tmi, but I’m struggling quite a bit so please bear with me. I recently cut back/quit watching mainstream porn, but the other day I was searching for a certain scene from the movie “X” to use as a… replacement. (Mia Goth is one of my biggest celebrity crushes, and I was just trying to explore alternatives to traditional porn 🤦‍♀️) While looking for this, I stumbled upon an explicit scene of hers from the movie “Nymphomaniac” that I used instead. I’ve never seen this movie, so I was incredibly disgusted when I found out afterward that she was 18/19 when filming this movie and that her character in the movie is SUPPOSED TO BE 15. I’m 24, so needless to say, I was a bit horrified. I had no idea she was so young in this (or that the character she played was underage), and I feel sick that I used this to pleasure myself. None of this crossed my mind beforehand considering it was a pretty explicit scene in a mainstream film. I assumed she was around my age. Even though she was technically an adult while filming this, she was still far to young for me personally and I feel deeply ashamed. This event has triggered memories from the ages 18-22 (I worry even 23) where I would search the “teen” category (18-19) on porn websites. I feel disgusting for looking at this stuff once I got out of my teen years, and even though I stopped, I feel dirty and predatory for doing this in my early 20s. Before I took a hiatus from watching this content this year, I would only watch things where I could tell the actors were my age or older. But the past is haunting me. And I just feel so gross. I should have stuck with the scene from the movie I was searching for (because she was 28/29 in that and I KNEW that), or I shouldn’t have watched anything at all. Hell, typing this out is starting to make me obsess over whether I’m disgusting or not for doing this to something that wasn’t really intended to be “porn”. I feel like I’ve violated this actress by using this film for something it wasn’t really intended for. I know I should quit all of this entirely, but my medication makes it incredibly difficult to “perform”, and imagination alone just doesn’t work for me. I’m just so frustrated and everything I do makes me hate myself more. I’m sorry for the graphic nature of this post. I was just wondering if anyone could relate or give me some advice.

I am not asking for reassurance I’m just freaking out about something that just never crossed my mind before. I’m helping to raise my nephew since he was a baby. I vaguely remember patting him on the bottom when he was one playfully. He was bouncing around the couch and I was also just making sure he didn’t fall. I never thought of that contact or interaction as inappropriate or weird. Why on earth 6 years later am I freaking out? I started having unwanted intrusive thoughts surrounding past events and my anxiety is through the roof. Is it normal to question yourself like this if you have ocd? Please know I love my family so much and this questioning is killing me.

I’ve been doing good by not posting but I’m hoping that someone can validate me a bit… I know I don’t feel sexual feelings towards anyone but my partner, but the thought of intentionally imagining someone’s body intentionally makes me so anxious, even my own family including my little daughter… I guess what I’m asking is do people without ocd experience that same discomfort of not wanting to intentionally imagine anyone’s body regardless of the context or who it is? I feel like depending on the person and context, maybe imagining someone as a whole person may not be bad? But I feel uncomfortable about intentionally imagining just peoples body even though there’s no sexual meaning? Does that make people without ocd uncomfortable too? I don’t want to feel like I have to do things like that to become “normal”… sometimes I’ll have intrusive thoughts saying to intentionally do something and then it’s like the image just comes in my head when I don’t actually want it to?? It’s really confusing and upsetting. Can someone please give me a bit of clarity? The AI thing on Snapchat said that it’s normal for people without ocd to feel uncomfortable by that… and I understand you could have a thought and an image just comes in on it’s own without you trying…

i’m very aware that one of my main compulsions is confessing/seeking repentance, specifically from my boyfriend. however i can never seem to get past this one specific event from my past. to sum it up, i remember while having me time (if yk what i mean) i kept having random ppl that i know in my daily life popping into my head and sexual images of them kept coming in as well. i felt like i couldn’t fully control it which makes me think it was OCD and i didn’t know it at the time. however, a specific person that kept coming to mind is now standing out to me. i would be lying if i said he was not an attractive person, but i would never in a million years actually want to be with him in any way. i love my boyfriend with every fiber in me and i am confident i would never do anything to jeopardize that. the thing is that since i know i found him attractive at the time i am struggling with my intentions behind those thoughts i was having about him. although its out of character i wonder if it was real thoughts and not just intrusive. it feels like a cycle of me trying to figure it out and i feel so incredibly guilty at times over it that i feel as though i should confess this to my boyfriend. this happened over a year ago and this person is no longer even in my life but i still can’t shake it. is this something i would need to confess to him or is it just my OCD taking? also, something that feeds into my obsessing over this is that i remember distinctly trying to make sure i looked okay when i was around this person in the past. not in a way that i wanted him, but just that i didn’t want him to think i was ugly or anything. i don’t think this is uncommon to want to look good in front of an attractive person, but at the same time i wonder if i was seeking attention for the wrong reasons or something. it’s just so conflicting bc it’s very out of character for me.

This is so bad I don’t know how I’m going to survive this life this new problem I have is taking its toll on me I feel like life isn’t the same now. No one cares no one understands. I started suddenly having pocd I’ve never had it before But I deliberately imagined something really disgusting about licking/sucking and it’s bad and I imagined it on purpose it wasn’t an intrusive thoguht but I don’t. Feel disgusted or anxious or anything I jsut feel nothing now I keep imagining it in hope I will get anxiety but I feel like I can make myself have shudders/anxiety on demand so I think it’s fake now and Soemone on here wrote as long as you feel disgusted that means it’s not a desire and your not a p but now I don’t know what I feel and i just want to live a normal life

Ok… ive had fears of pocd for as long as i can remember when i actually got to baby sit my little cousins those fears went away. But that was years ago and the fears are back. I always do little mental compulsions against them even though i know in therapy you arent supposed to but now… i had a dream and i feel sick… i can lucid dream. And i had a dream about a father and daughter and them growing up and dating one another and being sexually aroused at the end of that dream. I woke up and felt disgusted. Automatically thought suicide. Then questioned if i really had tht dream. I calmed myself by saying that a pedo wouldnt feel so bad about having such a dream but… wouldn’t they? Are there not pedos who wish they werent pedos? I use to ignore every post relating to pocd on here. It was too triggering and i felt like it would just make things worse. And now here i am. I just cant handle this subset my stomach felt sick.. im supposed to be hanging with a loved one but i feel terrible. They sent pictures of their beautiful baby and i feel ashamed looking at them after the dream. In the past when i had a dream like this and was in nocd therapy my therapist said we cant control dreams but i can lucid dream?! So i can control mines knew that was a wrong thought to have (the dad grooming their daughter for when she was an adult to have a relationship with then) and pushed past it until i became uncomfortable enough and woke up…. I cant take anymore.i just cant take it. Im confused on the complete dream

I hate that I get over one thing then my brain moves into the next thing to be upset about and I feel like this one is the worst thing to be obsessing over. Eugh. I feel evil and gross and I feel like ppl will think I’m a threat and I don’t want ppl to think of me that way. I’d never hurt anyone or want to ever But I’m trying to get through the day and survive. AS HORRIBLLY CHEESY AS THAT SOUNDS ITS TRUE I JUST WANNA BE OK😭 does anyone know how to move on from these feelings especially when it’s stuff from the past. I want to move on from and live now but I’m so scared to move because what if ppl find out? And they’ll think I don’t care because I’m not actively feeling ugly about it like I do now and literally all the time. I feel so horrible for even saying that too much guilt. Anyone have help ideas? Advice? Words? Idk I feel dizzy af with my emotions rn sorry if this didn’t make sense.

I’m new to this theme but I jsut thought a really disgusting thought/image and it was like a sequence of me doing something disgusting and now idk wha to think why the hell am I thinking it on purpose and imagining it on purpose what does that mean why do I not feel disgusted and why am I willingly thinking of it with no anxiety and no disgust. At the start of my ocd when I had harm ocd I was terrified of thinking of harm thoguhts and wanted them to go away and now I’m deliberate thinking of these disgusting pocd thoughts on purpose

still always scared and worried that deep down im a p, that the signs have “been there” (signs being weird stuff i watched as a kid and also me being very touchy with other kids as a child). my pocd spiked when me and my best friend found out her ex is an actual p. i just hate this i don’t even trust myself and the groinal responses are unbearable. i really don’t like this im scared im gonna die alone. me and my friend were having a convo abt ped0s yesterday due to her ex and i know a lot about them bc i researched about them because of my ocd but now im scared she thinks im a p or im just a p in denial who just covers it up with ocd. as im writing this im getting really bad groinal responses and i don’t know why. i use to be fine and got better with my pocd why is it back and 10x worse