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Hi, can someone please told me how to dealt with compulsions i been avoiding a lot of music because if i listen to some songs someting bad will happend

I tell myself so much that I don't believe in myself and that I feel like a bad person and that events of the past leave me greatly uncertain about who I am no thanks to OCD. When it comes to who I was as a teenager, to be honest, I was straight up fucking weird. I did weird things, I acted out, I wasn't good at socializing with people, and the more I try to look back into the events of the past, the more disturbed and disappointed I become. That just was not the person I wanted to be. I just wanna be able to put all of that aside and just be nice to myself. Be kind to myself and accept myself for who I am and just be confident. The thing is OCD doesn't let me. It feels like I'm not OWED to feel that way about myself or that I don't deserve to. Or that I need the permission of OCD to feel that way. I don't want it to be that way. I just want to be able to think positive about myself despite the past but that's next to impossible.

Huge trigger warning related to porn and pedophilia. Please don't read if it makes you uncomfortable. Thank you if you get to read this long post. Something awful happened recently. I was watching porn, I won't say what page because idk if it is allowed, but it is the most famous porn page there is, so you'd think you wouldn't find something so horrifying there. The problem is that one of the automatic pop ups that appeared really terrified me because the girl looked way too young. I'm not sure if she truly was underage, but she looked it, and I can't express how horrifying it is considering if she could have been. I feel like my mind is playing games with me. I can't tell if it was paranoia or reality. My memories are really fuzzy, as I was on a state of shock when I saw it. I remember feeling scared right away and trying to look up how to report it, but the page refreshed on it's own and I never saw the pop up again. I felt so gross for seeing that, and guilty for not reporting it. It was an accident, but I can't help but think that I enjoyed it and that it is my fault for watching porn at all. I am a monster. If this had happened to someone else I wouldn't question it so much, as I know that I didn't look at it on purpose and tried to do the right thing when I saw it. But I already hate myself because years back, when I was 16, I discovered loli. Which is really wrong drawings of young characters. And since then I've been obsessed with the topic and developed pocd. I never looked for those drawings again after that, I dont enjoy them. But I've accidentally found them again on the internet and it's made me feel disgusting and evil; but at least I had the certainty that it wasn't real, until now. I think that this is recent event is further proof of the monster that I already thought I was. After what happened, I immediately contacted a therapist, but tbh, I don't think that I'll ever move on from that. Life isn't looking good right now.

How can i reassure myself (comfort) if i am angry and upset about having compulsed when i am not supposed to either compulse or reassure myself?

I have been with my partner for about a year and 4 months. My ocd symptoms started in February. Recently, my ocd is making me seem annoyed by everything my partner does… I have a bad problem with forming my opinion off of other random people instead of making my own, possibly fear of perception/upsetting people with an opinion so I have to follow like a sheep. This frustrates my partner. My ocd might latch onto a random dark humour joke he made or an opinion for example about social issues that is different to me where we have to agree to disagree and I end up going searching on mainly TikTok. If I see a comment where some people are against what my bf said I have to go and tell him and it’s almost every day my ocd manages to nitpick something. A lot of the time it’s me setting it off by asking his opinion or something where I can feel my ocd being like “let’s scan for things in this conversation to latch on to 😈” and starting a convo where something could trigger my ocd. He might be playing a video game and says things, for example if he’s shot in the game and gets a little bit annoyed. My ocd will instantly latch onto something. I try to hold it back but I ocd tells me I NEED to tell him off for it. If I bring something up while communicating and my boyfriend asks why I think something is bad, it usually always starts with “well I saw a tiktok/instagram comment-…” and my boyfriend stops me to tell me I’m going off a small group of people’s opinion and I need to be able To form my own opinion and it’s okay for me To have my own opinion. A lot of the time I can’t form an opinion because I’m scared what people think so I resort to looking at random peoples comments on posts. 😞 My ocd convinces me he’s a bad person because he has dark humour. Is all the need to confess my thoughts and tell him off ocd? Is the best thing to do sit with the uncomfortableness? Does anyone relate

This may be a little taboo so discretion advised. I stumbled upon this Twitter community that’s labeled to post 18+ Porn content and I’ve went in there a few times to view the posts. For some context I’m 19. For those of you who may not understand how Twitter communities work here’s some context for that as well. In these communities they are separated by a topic and everyone can join the community to then collectively converse or share media/pictures about the topic. Of course people made porn communities and anyone can post in these communities. Obviously knowing this I try to be as careful as possible by only viewing videos of individuals that are obviously above 18. I should also add this particular community has moderators that are supposed to be verifying videos and deleting anything that is suspect or not compliant with the rules but sometimes i worry the people in these videos aren’t actually 18 like they are supposed to be. I have every reason to believe they are of age except the fact that anyone is aloud to post in these communities so I fear I masturbated to a minor or viewed child porn without knowing they were underage because I misjudged by the video. I am currently in therapy and I have been for a while now so I know I should stick with the facts and really try to stick with my core values but this really is sticking with me and I don’t have a meeting for a few days can anyone help? (Also I should add I don’t have any of these videos saved and I didn’t share them either only viewed)

my aunt gave me edibles to help with my anxiety from my intrusive thoughts. well i think i ended up greening out and i woke up this morning and my brain feels all fuzzy and i still feel like im going to die. has anyone with ocd ever been through this. im so scared right now.

My Ocd turns everything innocent and normal into something horrible. Sometimes when my daughter and I are watching tv she will want to play with and brush my hair. It feels so nice and relaxing or she will cuddle up and rub her feet on mine which is relaxing and makes me feel sleepy but ocd ruins it by telling me it’s inappropriate and that i’m enjoying something inappropriate. One day I saw a snapchat video my young grandson made of himself just out of the shower looking at himself shirtless in the mirror and I was thinking that he thinks he’s so cool and is probably going to flex like all boys do and laughed to myself but then the ocd kicked in and said that I was attracted to him and it made me so upset because I never have and don’t think of any child in that way. I don’t feel that way so how can ocd try to make me believe that I do?? How can ocd be more powerful than my own actual thoughts and feelings? This disorder is so debilitating and upsetting. I can’t live like this.

Hi guys I’m new here as I just got my official OCD diagnosis. I’m 31 now and have been dealing with this on and off since I was 20. For me it’s mainly pure o and mental repetitive thoughts or headspaces I don’t necessarily want to be in type vibe. I’m excited to all chat and potentially help each other and offer support :) To start- although the diagnosis is relieving it’s also a bit overwhelming as now I’m almost nervous about all the ways that this could latch on in the future. It’s almost like now that I know what’s up/ the floodgates are open. I normally workout 4-5 times a week, eat well, I don’t drink alcohol. When OCD flares up it can be debilitating I was taking 10mg of citalopram for many years but since the diagnosis this week - the psychiatrist I met with switched me to 20mg of Prozac. I’m trying to be strong and optimistic but I feel like my mind is all over the place. I feel a lot more generally anxious like there’s a pit in my stomach and feel like alllll of these OCD themes are coming at me. I feel like I’m definitely dealing with a version of META ocd as I’m worried about the medication etc. To anyone who has had success with Prozac - I guess this is maybe a compulsion to ask for reassurance. Is it normal to sometimes feel worse before you feel better? Especially as I switched to a different med this week with my diagnosis ? I feel like there’s a lot out of my control and it’s very overwhelming at the moment.

I feel like cancel culture is the enemy of OCD. It goes against everything so many of us have difficulty accepting- forgiveness, self-improvement, and feeling like a morally good person. Does anybody else get severely triggered by people being “cancelled” over small things and thinking: “That could be me someday”

Sometimes i really hate my ocd. I am a positive person, i search for the good in everything. But sometimes i get so mad and frustrated that I am forced to think about things that do not pertain to my life or values on a daily basis. It’s the endless loop of what if and the feeling of doubt that follows behind you all day long. I know it’s time for me to switch medications as my current regimen has only been operating to about 50-60% when I am used to 95-100%. I feel like sharing frustrations and making space for these emotions is healthy. Share with me what you hate most about your ocd? And oh yeah, i hate how ocd is such a tricky mental illness to the point that you basically sit back and watch your brain malfunction and produce thoughts sensations and feelings you know aren’t true. I swear half the time I feel like I have six brains running at the same time. Like I’m impressed sometimes at the fact that i can have ocd thoughts on loop all day, while trying to drive, do homework, be present with family, hold a job, sleep, exc. it’s like my brain creates a totally seperate story of what’s going on vs the present moment. I’m going to need my Serotonin to boost now. This girl needs a break 🤣

I have been with my bf for a year and a few months. I started to get symptoms of ocd in February. It started with the random need to confess things. One of these things was that I’m convinced I cheated over a year ago (Before I was with my current partner). Basically when I was 16 I ended up talking to 2 people at the same time and sending lewd pictures to both without either knowing. I didn’t really know what I was doing at the time and didn’t really think about it. The first dude seemed to like me but then got confusing and I took it as him just playfully joking around eventually, then another dude messaged me and seemed serious. With the serious dude i wouldn’t say it was 100% a proper relationship more like a situationship there wasn’t really any boundaries or anything “official” set, more just sexual stuff, flirting and nicknames type stuff. Eventually the jokey seeming dude found out about serious dude and shouted at me a bit and I stopped talking to him, and not even a week later I stopped talking to serious dude because unfortunately I found out I was being groomed by him. I didn’t really think about this situation at all up until February when I confessed it to my bf. I confessed to him but he was fine and wouldnt say it was exactly cheating. I have asked for reassurance that he’s okay with the situation over 6 times since confessing. My ocd is trying to tell me he is trying to convince himself I didn’t cheat 😞. There was another situation right at the start in the talking stage with my bf before we were together. A diff guy liked me and wanted to start going into a talking stage. I sort of said yes/maybe but I just couldn’t get myself to like that guy to be in a relationship with him. The guy found out about my bf and that we started talking and got mad so I blocked him. My ocd is trying to tell me if that didn’t happen I’d still talk to that guy too aswell as my bf 🥹do I need to tell myself “look, he’s blocked! Nothing happened and you are loyal to your boyfriend. “ I had a scenario that set this overthinking off, it involved something like “I am a loyal person” then my ocd shut the thought down immediately and shoved the 2 scenarios in this post in my face…. It won’t let go of it I can never call myself a good person I’ll always have guilt and feel like I don’t deserve good

Hello, it’s been some time since I’ve been on this platform but I’m not sure where else I feel safe to talk about this. Every minute of every day, I have the most horrible intrusive thoughts imaginable and I am constantly disturbed and horrified with both these thoughts and myself. I understand that these thoughts don’t define who we are, but it constantly raises the moral questions of if my brain is capable of conjuring these thoughts, even if involuntarily, then what does that say about who I am. The only solace I have is that I’m always disgusted with these thoughts but I’m constantly afraid of being some kind of monster because I have these thoughts and I feel like a terrible person for having these intrusive thoughts. I am in therapy and on medication, but neither are making this any easier, at least not yet. I don’t intend on stopping either nor have I felt any urge to actually carry out these thoughts, but they haunt me every minute of every day and I can’t stop them.

Okay, I need all of the people who have had intense panic attacks at the forefront here. I accepted a job offer despite my car ocd and have to travel tomorrow. The drive is 6 hours on the interstate. I have intrusive thoughts about feeling trapped in the car. I need only tips on how to calm myself through a panic attack in a vehicle. My intrusive thoughts sometimes feel like urges wanting to get out of the car. I've had it before but never acted on them. I need unconventional tips...anything! So far, I'm going to put childlock on both doors and windows. I bought a seatbelt lock. I plan on taking cups of ice, sour candy, I plan on taking L thiamine to help the tense in my body, but would need something otc for my mind. I'm taking headphones to listen to music, and plan on traveling with something heavy on my feet, like a bag or something. Any more tips throw them my way! Thanks!

*read to the bottom* I keep thinking back to this occurrence that was about a year and a half ago. Me and my boyfriend have talked through it, but the guilt kills me. There was a MUCH older guy (like 15 years) that was very popular, basketball star at my school, etc. I just so happened to be at a wedding where he was at. My boyfriend was not there. I noticed he was paying me attention, and I feel like I enjoyed it. A guy who was considered a “legend” from my hometown watching me constantly? I feel so horrible because I was drinking, and when I was on the dance floor I was worried about if my butt looked bad, or I wanted it to look good? I was dancing so that he would notice my butt???? I don’t have much of one. That sounds so horrible. Never once did the thought that I wanted to cheat on my boyfriend came to my head, or anything like that. But when I noticed this guy had left, I was like “awww, I won’t feel this attention anymore.” I didn’t even SPEAK to this man. I didn’t want anything to do with him in anyway. I just enjoyed the attention and wanted him to think I looked good.) or my butt looked good??? Which is insane bc I never care about that.) I would never be interested in him in anyway other than I wanted him to think I was attractive. Please let me know if you’ve ever experienced something like this. My boyfriend said that he understood, that it would be like him going to the beach and having his shirt off and him wanting people to think he looks good. My parents even have said it’s human nature. I just don’t know. Edit- when I first made this post, I said we didn’t talk— which we didn’t, but we did have a passing of words in the hallway by the bathroom. It wasn’t a full conversation, I didn’t know he was there and I was dancing and he saw me and said something. I didn’t say anything back to him. (So it wasn’t a passing of words from me) I then went to my friend and his cousin and said “THE (his name) just spoke to me” I also felt “sad” or like I didn’t want to be at the wedding reception because he had left and I wasn’t feeling that attention anymore? I remember being in the back of the building with my friend thinking “I need to get back out there so he can see how good I look” I was very very intoxicated and this is not who I am. I feel like I like it when I feel pretty or that I’m getting attention, and this whole situation felt like I cheated on my boyfriend. Before he was giving this attention to me at the reception, during the ceremony I told my aunt he was handsome (I CANT BELIEVE I SAID THAT) This has been almost two years now and it still bothers me. I would do anything to go back and to not have those thoughts. Never ONCE did I actually want to physically cheat on my boyfriend and I would never ever do that. This guy is much older than me, in his late 30s I would assume and I was 23 at the time of the incident. I just feel so so awful. I can’t stress enough that I would never physically cheat on my partner and I hope this isn’t emotionally cheating because I don’t want ANYONE but my boyfriend. I hope somebody reads this and can give me some advice on how to cope

I was diagnosed with OCD in 1994 or 95; I can't actually remember. Over the years I've been on different kinds of medication. I was on Luvox for a while, but that didn't help. I'm currently taking generic Zoloft 100mg day. I've got so many triggers, it's tough to get a handle on my anxiety, so I start to pick, dig cut my nails and the areas around them. It's so bad sometimes they bleed and I've got to use Bacitracin and bandage them. This skin picking started around 2016. It's not fun at all. I was in a very fulfilling job, but my coworkers constantly bullied me; I'm pretty sure that's why I started to pick my skin. It would get so bad, the skin picking, I would be in the bathroom for almost an hour picking and cutting skin. The OCD the years manifested in the usual way: counting, ordering, re-checking, etc, but I NEVER picked my skin. The most days I've gone without picking is about 7 days. It's such a viscous cycle. I am a spiritual person and pray very much asking God to help me stop the skin picking, cutting, digging etc. Nothing yet, so I keep praying. After I've made my fingers raw and bloody, then bandage them, I put on disposable gloves and that helps me not do more damage. But when I take the gloves off, I pick again if my fingers look or feel like they are not smooth and of course this just prolongs the healing process I'm generally content and get my responsibilities completed, but CANT STOP HURTING MY FINGERS. It really sucks. I know I should not pick and I tell myself if I do I won't be able to pet my cat, build my Lego sets, and run my fingers though my beard. I know that sounds funny, but I guess it's a nervous habit. ( I do have an awesome beard) I just want to stop picking. I can deal with the OCD, but the skin picking really messes up my life. Its strange that I know I'm picking and it's bad, but I just can't stop. Once the blood comes, it seems to tell me, look what you did now you better stop, and I usually do. I guess I just want other people to know they are not alone. I've tried fidget toys and they don't work for me. I don't want to increase the Zoloft to 150mg but will if that's the only answer. I would love your opinions and suggestions. And your prayers would be great also. I think that's what I need; a miracle.

Does anyone that is diagnosed have experience having different themes come up in a day? It’s like I ignored one thought and then my mind comes up with another one until it figures out one that is scary enough for me to ruminate. Does it ever make sense? Like today my intrusive thought was an image of me in the space or falling into space which made me also think - this is non sense! Am I going crazy for having such an unrealistic intrusive thought? And then my psychosis OCD comes to play 🫠 it’s EXHAUSTING but I’ve been answering with “maybe or maybe not” and “I don’t care” which is something I saw someone saying that helps and I’ve been using it. I haven’t started ERP yet but hopefully soon. Just this year this came up and I still catch myself feeling so sad and remembering how I was before this. 😭

Does anyone else tell themselves "don't do 'this' or something bad will happen!" or if something bad does happen you go "it's because I did 'this' thing beforehand" and you end up avoiding a lot of stuff you really enjoy? I get in a bad habit of it. I assume some stuff is cursed, in a sense, even if it's something as mundane as using something in video game or eating a certain food.

content warning: mentions of sexual acts things took a turn for the worse and I ended up opening up about the intrusive thought I had about some random guy while self pleasuring and my boyfriend took it really badly. we calmed down pretty quick and he apologized but I don't know how to feel anymore. with everything else he has been so caring and gentle and understanding. I didn't expect him to be perfectly fine but it got really mean and I don't know how to deal with this. he has apologized and doesn't expect me to forgive him and also made it clear that he knows he messed up, I just feel so upset by how the interaction went. has anyone had a partner react badly for a moment but we're able to move past it? I know how exhausting it can be fir the partner of someone suffering so much and I'm not mad that he felt that way, I just feel so taken aback and in the moment it felt like a dream and everything was just a haze and so intense. please help I don't want to lose him and want to know if other people have worked past this before

Taking a walk down memory lane ❤️I used to stare at the knife blocks in my house because I was picturing myself committing suicide in vivid detail terrified I would do it. I was probably 7-9. I also had one about a stuffed penguin I had, where I’d imagine it lost and crying for me :,) that one still gets me even as an adult.