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And guilt and need to confess. Any tips? - it’s making me having suicidal thoughts.

I don't expect anyone to give my a full article of answers, but does anyone else experience more intensity of their OCD/intrusive thoughts during road trips/vacations?? I remember even long before being diagnosed I would be obviously excited for a vacation but at the same time so nervous for the vacations because i knew that my intrusive thoughts got so much worse and felt more "real" i guess in a sense during them. It's the weirdest thing. Maybe it's the long drives or just the stress of being in an unfamiliar place?? Appreciate y'all. Have a good one.

I was wondering if this is a thing. Like, say, especially if you are in the process of getting better. Doesn't doing ERP every day keep reminding you of your obsessions? Is there a point where you should do it less often? Or how does this work?

So I know I’ve asked this question before but it’s like finding the final answer to this question is an obsession in itself ….so I get fixated on stuff like this week it’s video game addiction topics I will research about video game addiction stories until I tire myself out about them and last week it was getting a new gaming system and researching questions/topics about it until I’ve researched so much that I’m not even excited about said item anymore then it can go into ocd reassurance seeking so I get obsessed about researching ANY topic and it’s like when I get my fix im done with it and the next week it will be something new like why are we addicted to soda and it’s just a cycle … does anyone else deal with this? Is it part of my ocd or is it just me as a person please help

So, a while ago, I was obsessing over feeling like I had to tell my best friend something. I couldn’t seem to bring myself to just do it but the guilt was eating me alive. One day, we had a conversation about something related to it and the conversation led to what I had to tell her. I told her, apologized, and things went will. It was unplanned but it was a good conversation. My guilt went away (although my OCD tried to bring it back some times) and we remained friends. Now, I have something else I need to tell my parents and I feel like it’ll be easier for me to talk about it in a conversation about something else I think they should know. My OCD is telling me I’m weak for doing it this way instead of just coming out and saying it randomly. It also tells me I’m manipulative because if it’s not the only thing I talk away, the weight of it won’t be the same and they need to know how terrible I am and how big this was. Additionally, what I need to tell them is something I did when I had a mental break down like eight years ago. I feel like if I mention my mental health, I’m not taking responsibility. I’m not trying to blame it and shrug it off like it doesn’t matter because there’s a reason I did it. It’s just that it’s an explanation. It’s what happened, and I was planning to mention it in a bigger conversation about mental health and the medication I’m on. I think I’m horrible for doing it this way, I think my OCD is right but when I try to just say it, my words get messed up from being unbelievably anxious. So I just feel weak and manipulative and awful.

I dont even know how to explain myself. Im 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship and one day i want to fall in love and be with someone. I really desire that and i want to love someone and i also wish i was a mother one day. The thing is, i always obsess about the thoughts of relationships. When i have a guy on my mind i always need to google stuff like “Signs you are in love” or “Signs you are attracted” just to know. When i think i might like someone i get these thoughts that “this is not it, you are just making things up etc.” I just feel so obsessed with it, like i always question if i can love, if i ever will be in love (i really want to), or the fact that some people at my age have a partner, slowly getting engaged or they are expecting a baby. Im scared that im just too old and nothing like that will happen to me. I just feel like urge to figure it out. Like who my partner is gonna be, if im gonna love someone. It’s hard to explain. I feel like i can not be just chill and live my life and not always focusing on these things. Then i compare myself with others and i feel like im broken because i feel like it will never happen to me. Then i even get thoughts that what if im aromantic. It also makes me anxious even though i dont think im one. Another thing is, that when this is mixed with SO-OCD its even more terrible😔 Sometimes when i have these thoughts about relationships and also so-ocd….i feel that my stomach is tight and i feel anxiety. Then i get scared that just because i think about relationships and i get tight stomach that must mean im just gay and denial and the thought about having a relationship with a men must be wrong for me, even though my natural thoughts are always with men. 😔😔 it bothers me. I feel like i will never be at peace.

And you don’t have to go full Carnivore or Vegan, or order certified organic expensive food programs. Staying away from the processed stuff, the preservatives, and seed oils is pretty much all you have to do. When I eat this way ^^ I would say all of my symptoms are improved by about 80% The cycle 🔄 repeats, though. I eat clean, cook all my meals (which can be a pain) and I do great all week. By the weekend, I’m feeling so good that I convince myself OCD and sleep problems have nothing to do with diet, and then I just go ahead and go to Taco Bell, start eating whatever I have a taste for, don’t cook, grab a frozen meal.. and then guess what happens It doesn’t happen immediately. It’s always about 24 hours after the fact. By Monday, I’m floored by anxiety, OCD games when I’m trying to sleep, odd depression upon waking up, no energy, falling back asleep while drinking morning ☕️ (and failing, sleep is impossible even tho I’m tired) and eventually I end up back on here. Always so thankful you guys are here, yet mad at myself because it starts all over again. Then in a panic, I go back to eating clean, cooking, as much as I don’t feel like it because I’m so down.. and again, after 24 hours, I’m good again. OCD is gone. Just thought I’d share for anyone who feels like they’re sinking. 🛟 I’m gonna add a list of foods I avoid. When I decide to indulge, these are the little buggers that mess up my whole mind: -Fast foods like 🍟 or 🌮 cooked in seed oils -All boxed cereals except Grape Nuts -All frozen meals except Amy’s Organic -All pizza from pizza places 🍕 (☹️ I know.) -Any and all gas station foods, hot or packaged. -Protein bars/meal bars with strange ingredients -Lunch meat -Restaurant food, fried foods -Yogurt with modified food starch and fake sweeteners -All baked goods, desserts, and candies -Anything with high fructose corn syrup -Cool Whip -Peanut butter -Fruit juice with added sugar -All dressings including Mayo -Bread, unless imported from Italy, or Sourdough -All soda So you might be thinking, what the heck is left? Eggs, organic pita bread, butter, full fat yogurt without the extra bad stuff, fruits, veg, baked potato, sour cream, sauerkraut, ground beef, steak, turkey,🥇shrimp, chicken, fish, pork, organic chocolate chips, organic brownie mix (use melted butter in place of veg oil), homemade tacos with Paramount pita, Aloha protein bars, almonds, ground fax (this works wonders for my brain) peanuts, seeds, avocado, hummus, organic cheese, lots of water! Give it a shot, you’ve got nothing to lose. Well, one thing you’d love to lose. 😉 It temporarily goes away. For me, anyway. Can’t speak for everyone but just wanted to share. ❤️💙

do uh, i’m contemplating faking sick to miss school tomorrow, because it’s friday and i don’t feel like going.. it’s because of a lot of stuff, i recently went through friend drama and lost my friends and i’m shy and socially anxious so it’s hard for me to talk, and i don’t feel wanted by the people i sit with for lunch i feel like a burden.. plus i have a bunch of classes with my ex best friends which hurts and stresses me out. and ocd makes it hard for me every day on top of that so i’m.. just making it through every week to be honest :( i feel bad to fake sick, but i want to stay home tomorrow and, apparently the guidance counselor is worried about me because i seem depressed

Does anyone else get the theme of fear of going crazy or into a psychosis ? I’ve been having that fear lately and it has been the worse ever. I’ve never had these thoughts before and I don’t know what triggered them that they won’t go way. I couldn’t eat for days from how scared I was of these thoughts. I keep having intrusive thoughts like what if you’re imagining it for example I was at TJ Maxx with my mom and I was looking for her and when I saw her a thought popped into my head like “what if that’s not her and your imagining it” it was so scary that I wanted to cry. Of course apart of me knows that’s not true but the thoughts keep popping up. I’m so scared and just want to be myself again. So if anyone has gone through this theme can you please tell me what helped you. I’ve also struggled with harm ocd, suicidal ocd and a lot of health anxiety. I can’t afford therapy so if yall have any recommendations on what helped your ocd please let me know. I’m so tired and feel so helpless. I want my life back.

Just a quick question for anyone on here today. Does anyone else's OCD get more prominent when they're mad?? Not necessarily "mad" but just frustrated. For example, I'll be having an argument with my girl and the intrusive thoughts just seem to arise way more frequent and severe i guess is a word i can use for it. They just pester me a lot more when I'm frustrated rather than just sitting around playing a video game or something. Appreciate y'all wit the feedback. Have a good one.

I don’t really wanna go into detail about what it’s about cause I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but there’s this one specific type of intrusive thought I get that I struggle extremely with ignoring/sitting in discomfort with. Does anyone have tips for managing something like this?

…waiting for someone you already meant spiritually… it’s hard. I just want to physically be with them and I can’t. Even with all the knowledge I have about them…temporarily cope. Having activities/self work has helped a lot, ive created healthy boundaries with myself while remaining completely open in expressing myself. Perfection doesn’t exist So here I am having a hard time tolerating… tolerating that they aren’t physically here… yet?. …also I sincerely hate intrusive OCD. At least I grinned at this meme 🥴. I’m going to 💤 ✌🏼 yall.

I'm truly doing my best to let these thoughts exist and to not engage with them, but it's so hard because the lingering feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety are still there. does anyone have any tips on how to combat this? any encouraging advice?

my parents don’t understand that a seemingly small and snide comment about my body will ruminate in my brain for months and months and be a never ending source of why i hate myself more and more everyday. I don’t know how to get them to understand as they are not in my shoes. I am overweight, not morbidly obese but I struggle to find the will to work out and improve myself, but i know this isn’t the motivation i need.

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Is it ocd or is it denial I don't get what ifs and I wasn't diagnosed with ocd I went to the pych twice and part me just doesn't want to be tru that I'm might be a p and using ocd just for me not to believe it. Im going to go again and if they say I am a p I'm going to end it because that's a scary thought and I'm also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend he is 6 years younger then me and I'm 27 and he's 21 I met him when he was 19 turning 20 and I was 25 turning 26. I'm tired and I don't want sympathy I just needed to type this out it's been getting on my nerves a lot and I think everyday of breaking up with him fear of judgement. He does act very immature I don't know what do with my life myself and the people around me and making friends is not my cup of tea everytime im around new people I feel like I'm hiding a big secret and I don't want to get close to anyone and just makes me feel bitter because people just be normal and not have these intrusive thoughts pop up and lm like why me why why me. And I just push everyone away I can't stand myself either I'm fat and eating is what really what makes me happy no one knows what I go through and I can't talk about it I'm afraid of getting shunned or that I won't get better and actually seek help that I know I need I've feel like I have no control over my life I'm 27 no job I don't have my own place my sisters are doing better then me I probably sound selfish I want to get better and it if is just ocd it would be a sigh of relief and I can work through my issues. I have more I want to say but this part of my truth

I watched a utube video by an ocd expert and he said that on 9-11 he had patients come in and talk to him about their themes and they seemed barely concerned about what was happening. I have noticed this in myself and feel so bad and selfish when I am sooo focused on my own fears that I am not really connecting to loved ones and their needs like I used to. I know it's not how I used to be and I hate it

How do you go about your life when ERP therapy is so stressful. I have harm ocd and by making me watch horror movies etc . is just making it worse. I'm really worried I'm being brainwashed into being what I dont want to be . Does this mean ERP is not for me? I also have no compulsions just pure O .

Ok so today I was in a really crowded place and at some point I got really annoyed at not being able to work properly bc of all the people in front of me so out of rage I just decided to bust through everybody and the second time I tried to pass through people I ended up having my upper arm touch a woman’s b00bs. And I can’t fully remember why and what happened bc it was hot outside but I couldn’t really get through bc it was really tight between those two people so my arm was still touching her there and at some point my brain properly caught onto the situation and then I started panicking completely. And now I’m scared this could’ve been SA and keep questioning why exactly this happened bc that’s the part I can’t remember properly. Like I keep questioning if it was really just hard for me to pass through or if I somehow slowed down. And I mean it was just my upper arm so it wasn’t that terrible and the woman was like 40 years older than me but I’m still ashamed and feel guilty. What if I had somehow done that on purpose? Like I know I rammed her on purpose but what if I really just wanted to do that? I feel so guilty and I remembered just now that as I was approaching her I was just so mad at everything I had even rammed the first person and then I also decided to just ram into the second person but I’m also not sure if that might’ve just been an intrusive thought bc it appeared at the back of my brain and I really only had that contact bc of the lack of space I had to bypass her but I still feel bad despite this not having been that horrible and idk what to do

I’ve made other posts over the days saying how difficult it has been with my OCD, lately. My PCP prescribed me burispone for my GAD and hydroxizene for if my anxiety gets really bad (he said to use it as a as needed pill) . I found myself not keeping up with taking them as I had been - I fought off the idea of taking medication for my anxiety for a long time until I started working again over the summer full time and started feeling the stress and over whelm catch up to me alongside my single mom duties. I’m trying to get in to start therapy again virtually somewhere that accepts Medicaid bc we are low income as well - ideally I’d like to fight this off with just the help of the Lord and my own grit - but the medications did seem to help - at times I don’t really notice a difference especially now after taking them for a few weeks … but now I haven’t been consistent and am starting to see a familiar voice fear it’s ugly head the same one that would convince me I dont need medication or therapy etc . It’s the same voice I think most of my family listens to as I have really been the only one in an out of therapy and always trying to get the help but have been extremely inconsistent over the years. That is always my biggest issue. What helps you to stay consistent on your healing journey with OCD? How do you over come those voices that try to get you to believe that help isn’t needed when it really is?