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I spend a lot of time ruminating about my health and how I'm going to get past all of the thoughts I think of and the events that I think of in the past. It leaves me really nauseous randomly throughout my days. Anyone else get this from their OCD? It makes me worry more about my health

This is the worst my OCD has gotten! I’ve freaked out many times about harming my children, touching them inappropriately, etc. the other night I got blackout drunk and woke up and had thoughts of something specifically that I did to my 5 year old. It’s horrendous. Do you think it’s possible to become our worst fear when drunk? Do you think my son would wake up if I did something? This is awful! And I’ve been very suicidal since. I’m not sure how I can accept the uncertainty of this and move on. Yes, I’m in therapy.

I developed ocd only after having my first baby. Postpartum ocd. It never went away and i’ve had it on and off ever since. I have a question..If you are so focused and stuck on an intrusive thought and you tell yourself over and over “it isn’t real because you’ve never had these kind of thoughts before it’s just the ocd” and then suddenly a random memory pops up from before the baby but this time its different than you remember and now you are having an ocd thought in the memory but you know you never had ocd before the baby..can ocd change a memory and add something to it to fit the lie the ocd is trying to convince you of? Has this happened to anyone else?

Has anyone ever had an intrusive thought or false memory about a person and then some time later in the future that person says something like what your thought/false memory was about happened to them and you immediately think it was you even though you know it was just ocd and now you doubt and question yourself?

i can’t move on. the guilt and shame over my actions but also struggling to remember and 100% know what happened because I was very drunk is crippling. i hate this feeling. i quit drinking because nothing is worth losing her. i feel I done something awful like semi cheat or cheat and i feel the urge to confess. i even told to my partner about the situation and she forgave me and let me with so much grace and yet i still feel like there is more to confess even tho if she’s moved on why haven’t i when im the one who was a horrible person. like i ruminate and kick analyze and essentially find/create another detail that i dont even know if its relevant or real. my partner is the love of my life and i never want to hurt her and we plan on getting married so why does my brain try and convince me i want other people when all i want is her and our life together. then if i get too drunk it’s like my subconscious comes out and tries to sabotage my life and go against all of my values and trys to get me to act on intrusive thoughts? i can’t even put it into works im so confused and feel so lonely and shameful and at rock bottom. everyone is always telling me how good of a person i am and how incredibly lucky they are to know me and i feel like a fraud and a horrible person because of my mistakes. how do i move on and recover. and then everything becomes and obsession and my comparisons worded and it’s a downward spiral. anyone else shave similar experiences or helpful tips and ways to move forward without guilt. i just want peace and love.

Ok so a couple of days ago I went to the mall after school and while on my way a little girl walked on the sidewalk on the other side of the road. I immediately started to kind of panic. At some point I didn’t see her anymore bc she walked into the opposite direction. I also had people behind me and some people in front of me. And I KNOW I walked only on my sidewalk bc I obviously didn’t want to do anything and I remember that I didn’t do anything. But now I’m doubting that. Even tho I know I didn’t even cross the road. And people were behind me.

All my days are pretty much consumed by real events I obsess with. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t want to lose my life, but I’m also tired of living like this.

I’m 54 yrs old and had my first episode at 17. Didn’t know what it was at the time. Intrusive thoughts that made me feel like I had lost my mind. It’s continued off and on since then. But just recently found out I have ocd. I was too stubborn or embarrassed to ever admit or ask for help. Anyway, when this is triggered and I get chronic severe anxiety that lasts months I get these symptoms and wanted to see if anyone else experiences these? Severe memory loss from recent events. Even feeling like I don’t know people. A numbness always on the left side of my face. Extreme ear ringing. Feeling like my head is in a vise, but not a real headache. I was just curious. The memory thing is a real issue for me and makes my anxiety worse. These physical symptoms always go away when my anxiety is gone but it’s concerning to me. Please share any similar experiences. Hope everyone has a great weekend. Jeff

I feel like I’m going crazy and second guessing everything rn. I keep wondering if I did or said anything racist and I just can’t remember or I did and i didn’t acknowledge it. I feel like people at my school hate me or are ignoring me. I don’t know how to get out of this endless loop of doubting myself. I know I would never do such a thing but I keep second guessing myself. Im starting to believe I’m a terrible person and I don’t know how to prove myself otherwise.

My ocd always makes me think the worst and tells me that the only explanation for things is that I did something horrible. I had an incident many years ago that has made my life miserable. I guess it’s a real event and possibly false memory as well. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me alot. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I put my daughter on the school bus and went back upstairs to my room and he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪. At the time I didn’t think too much of it though because toddlers randomly do weird things and take their clothes off and they yell back or blame you because they don’t like getting in trouble or getting yelled at so I shrugged it off but out of nowhere all these years later my ocd brought this back up. Since it’s been so long my memory has faded so my ocd adds more “evidence” and tells me things like maybe I was drinking and did something to him and just don’t remember. I try to think of all the scenarios that could have happened as to why he took his underwear off but my ocd won’t let anything make sense except that I did something horrible and I can’t live with that uncertainty like other people can. It makes me not want to be alive anymore 😞

So I study film in high school and decided to make a film for my class on awarness on ocd and it's informative and covers many subtypes, mostly taboo thoughts. I covered probably every taboo subtype you can imagine on there, one of them being pocd. There's a part when I set examples of intrusive thoughts that feel more like urges and commands and I put an example saying "I'm going to grope the first child that walks past me". I got reported by a student to the counselors of my school and the counselors called me in not only for my safety but the safety of others. They said that they wanted to know if I was ok and then they wanted my therapist's information to make sure I would be ok after graduation. I gladly gave them her info knowing that this was for my own good and to inform them on ocd's scary reality. I got a call from my therapist last night telling me that the counselors shared my script with her and they were considering removing me from being of reach of children in my internship which is also my job. This is a huge deal for me not only because that job is my only form of income that I've been using to support my family but because I plan on majoring in education and becoming a teacher and have been working with children for years and I want to be a good teacher. This could literally run the risk of me being reported to the police and could open up a criminal record, possibly preventing me from moving forward in my career in child caretaking and education. I'm reasonably freaking out and she tells me that they will talk to me in the morning at school so I out of fear of losing my job and fucking future get to the main office to speak to them. I had made a gc with people that ik that have ocd that will be in my film and told them that I had been reported and needed back up and one offered to go with me to the office. When we get there the counselors tell us that I'm the only one allowed and speak to me in private. I'm angry and horrified bc they literally believed me on Monday when we met and then go behind my back to tell my therapist that I'm not supposed to be around kids bc I'm dangerous for sharing an informative example of pocd. Above all of this, in the script I never stated what MY obsessions were so they were the ones assuming that I had pocd of all the subtypes that I had mentioned. That was when they told me that my therapist had seen the example on pocd and told them that the fact I'm around children in a situation that can be triggering is BAD FOR ME EVEN THOUGH IT'S AN EXPOSURE AND HAS HELPED ME AND SHE WAS THE ONE THAT TOLD THEM TO GET ME AWAY FROM KIDS. She therefore implied to them that I have pocd WITHOUT my consent and this made the school remove me from my internship at my job. I go to get paid outside of school hours but for the time I'm in school I'm not allowed to be there bc my therapist shared information that I never gave them permission to share AND must think that all the exposures mean nothing bc they're too "triggering" for me and it can "make me suffer more". I met up during lunch with my film cast with ocd and they listened to most of it before I could finish but they kept telling me to report her to the medical board and to the conpany she works for because she broke confidentiality. How do I go about this?

My false memory is of me assaulting another human and to make it worse it has a real detail being a towel radiator. I tried to guess what I would’ve been leaning on if I was standing in a specific place in a room I went in yearsss ago and I kinda just guessed a towel radiator and to my shock looking back at the old pictures I got it right…I don’t remember assaulting anyone though? It’s scaring me as yes the towel radiator was there but I do not recall harming another human it’s sooo against my nature even drunk. So now my ocd is using that towel radiator against me saying my whole false memory must be real as it has a real detail? I know it’s probably laughable to some people but my whole life is being ruined right now by a radiator. I’ve spoken to a therapist who kept saying she didn’t really understand what it’s got to do with the false memory. My family and partner keep assuring me I would never do that and to just move on. So why can’t I move on?! Anyone dealt with anything remotely similar?

I start therapy tomorrow again and I'm honestly petrified to discuss my real event OCD. Even tho it happened when I was like 6 and people are telling me I'll be fine, I'm still terrified I did COCSA and I'll be reported for it. My OCD is even telling me people told me it's OK because they think I deserve to be reported. I dont know how to get over the fear. But not talking through it makes it feel worse to.. im so anxious.

I always get images of things that I severely don’t want to have. It gets better as the day goes on but I feel that whenever I make mistakes or there’s an accident (for instance my fingers accidentally grazed a students “area” when I was trying to get my pen) make me feel insanely guilty and that I want to hurt myself to compensate. For that instance I told my boss right away and she didn’t make it a big deal because it was such a swift and accidental occurrence, but that moment kept/keeps replaying in my head and I feel like a monster. Also, when I let a student use my phone to look at a picture for reference (art project) there was a search I made about birth control and how to know when to take a pregnancy test. I didn’t think much of it because I have absolutely nothing bad in my phone, but now I feel like I might be some groomer or monster. I definitely should go back to therapy but I just want to see if anybody had similar experiences/fears.

How do you deal with setbacks?? I was doing great for a couple of weeks, feeling so empowered. Then, I was watching tv and saw something that triggered all of my thoughts to come back and now I feel like I’m back to where I started. I suffer with real event OCD and it’s with mistakes I know I’ve for sure made. But for a while I was able to just sit with them and realize I’m a human being who has made mistakes and that’s ok. But today I’m back to feeling the need to confess all my past mistakes to my future partner and feeling like I’m a bad, creepy person:(

I wish there was an option for a real event ocd support group or meeting or perhaps even the option to get therapeutic help not only with the ocd aspect of the real event but also to help us with the actual real events themselves. For instance, a therapist that can assist us in understanding why we did what we did and to help us move forward while being aware of the ocd component involved to avoid making that aspect worse. I think that the fact that this subtype involves real events not just thoughts/feelings/sensations, creates an additional aspect that makes everyone with this subtype feel alienated. It isn’t just a thought or a feeling or a sensation for us. We did things we probably shouldn’t and we need help addressing that aspect. This is not to imply that this subtype is worse than any others because every subtype is horrible…ocd is horrible. We just need help with this extra aspect. I would give anything to get this kind of help. I am struggling so much with the bad choices I made in the past. I wish there was someone I could speak to that could understand that more needs to be addressed than just the ocd in this subtype for me.

This is a new thing for me…having a name for the thoughts and feelings I have. As a Christian, having religious OCD is terrifying. I want my faith so badly but I constantly fear “doing it wrong” or upsetting God. Where is my fear coming from? Is my fear evil? What if my doubt is evil? Ugh. Tiring.

I see most posts about just thoughts, but is there anyone out there suffering with real events? I know there is. I’m just feeling very alone today and would like to get encouragement from someone with the same theme as me. Key word encouragement and not reassurance.

Why does false memory always pick on situations that are so far in the past? Mine literally came to me 6 whole years after a drunk night out that I couldn’t stop obsessing about. The scary thing for me is the real detail in my false memory that my ocd is now saying is ‘evidence’, my therapist keeps saying that the ‘evidence’ really isn’t evidence and deep down I think I do know that but for me it’s the real details that keep me hooked. It’s like how can ‘this’ be real but ‘that’ not be real if you get me? It’s all so confusing and my brain hurts. The brain is a wild thing.

I’m thinking thoughts 24/7, from wake to sleep, everyday, every moment. I don’t even get a one second break. It’s exhausting. What do I do? Is this normal? I want to be able to get out of my own head. I analyze and have thoughts about every action/event, every person, and every thought. And unfortunately there’s a set of traumas my brain makes me think about tons of times everyday. The only time I can stop thinking is when I’m super drunk (don’t worry, I’ve made sure to only do this like once or twice a month.) I’m not interested in trying medication, I’ve been on meds a few times and they never helped. Any advice?