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do u get a fear that after the intrusive feelings (false attraction) that you will Get romantic feelings after this all ends? because i do. especially bc i was hyperfixated on the guy in the past

I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?

I just had a panic attack. It feels too real. It feels like I don’t have feelings for him anymore. Why is this happening? Why don’t I feel anything? Why don’t I love him? Why am I even questioning whether I ever loved him in the first place? I’ve been stuck in this for so long that I’m starting to believe it’s the truth. What if I feel this way because I just don’t want to accept that I don’t like him? What if I led him on this entire time? When I talk to him, I feel nothing. I’m not interested in anything. I can’t have conversations with him, I can’t kiss him, I just feel numb and fake. I feel horrible. What is happening to me? How did I get here? Why don’t I feel okay? I don’t understand what I feel. I feel like I’m lying to myself, like I’m stuck in this terrifying loop. I also feel like I don’t even care that I’m hurting him. I know he’s upset, and I know this is affecting him too, but I feel nothing about it. I don’t know why. It’s like something is blocking me from feeling anything. I know I should care. I know I love him. So why do I feel like I don’t? I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t recognize myself anymore. What if this is real? I just want to feel normal again. i dont understand what is happening. i fear i didn’t love him ever because these thoughts started in the 4th month of us being together. in two months we make 2 years. am i leading him on? im a horrible person. i dont understand .

I’m involved in a relationship with someone I’ve been with for 4 years, I love him with everything I am however recently these past few months between a year or two I’ve felt very detached from him and I fear I’m falling out of love with him, last night I had a very intimate encounter over the phone with a coworker I’ve developed feelings for…. I could really use some advice I’m not sure what to do as part of me wishes to be single but the other part of me feels god awful for leaving my partner …

hi everyone 👋🏻 This is less of an ROCD post but I urgently need advice because i feel like i can't think straight. My bf and I are together for almost 3 years. Ive gained over 10kg over the last six months which led to him kind of commenting on my relationship with food. I always struggled with my weight and he knows. I also know that I eat very unhealthy and a lot but I have been having difficulties with my eating disorder in the last couple of months and its just not easy to snap out of it. Yesterday I showed him pants that I would like to buy myself and he said that my bum would be a little too much in those pants. It hurt me a lot and I immediately told him why he would say something like that and he just said that he didn't try to be mean and it just came out like that and he knows that it was wrong, so he apologised. But i couldn't let go of it because we've had another discussion like this over 2 months ago and he promised me to stop commenting on my body and my eating disorder. It just makes me feel like he generally prefers skinny women. So i asked him, i asked him if he prefers skinny women and he said that he would prefer if i would lose a few pounds. My heart shattered in that moment and I don't know what to do and how to deal with it. We've talked about it last night and he understands that he's in the wrong but i don't know how to cope and what to do. Please give me some advice

I went out 2 years ago with some friends and I can’t remember some of the night - we went to a house party and my friends say nothing happened but I’m so afraid that I cheated on my partner and don’t remember it. It’s consuming my every minute and I can’t let it go. I was reading up on false memory ocd the other day and it triggered me into thinking what if something I imagined happening actually happened and I don’t know what to do and I’m scared that because I imagined something a certain way that if it wasn’t the same thing I imagined that it must be true

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

i recently about six days ago ? started talking with someone with the intention of being friends and we’d talk a couple of times a day every for the past six days. But i immediately grew incredibly attached and obsessed with them i have no idea why it’s been driving me crayz. it didn’t help when they teased (?) me i guess and said if my compliments or well praise to soemthing they had done was flirting. it hasn’t left my mind at all. i don’t know what to do or why i’m feeling like this. and the worst part is i can’t say anything to them because i’ll just look weird i bet. i can’t help it i think about them so much and i check their stuff a lot and my lockscreen so much to see if they’ve texted me… is there any way to help with this ? it’s been really draining and causing me to overthink really badly.

i just realized that my relationship ocd is triggered the second i view someone as a potential partner! i just got the smallest crush on someone and immediately was checking my phone every few minutes for their messages and reading into their responses as either good or bad texts and made some tie to my worth based on how they reply or how quick! uh oh haha. just so many checking and overthinking compulsions. at least i realized this and can now bring it up in therapy to practice RPMs with my therapist!! RPMs are like life savers for my ocd, they help so much :,). i feel happy that i realized it was ocd. i used to think it was just feelings triggered by my ex and how he made me feel for three years. but now i realize it’s ocd and i can work on this which makes me feel better. i’m not sure if it “counts” as rocd but it definitely reminds me of how my rocd acts in a relationship. best of luck and big hugs to anyone who is struggling with rocd too!🎀🧚🏻‍♀️💗

Lately i've been feeling a deep urge to be in a relationship, yet at the same time I feel as if it would be too exhausting to deal with. I don't know why. It may be due to one or two of my past relationships being.. "abusive" or toxic? I'm not exactly sure if I can call it that though, I was never physically hurt, because they were online. I'm just feeling rather lonely and would like to spend time with someone who likes things that I do and who wants to cuddle and hold hands. I crave affection a lot, but at the same time I get so exhausted when I have to try to meet people. Maybe I just have to get over that part of it.

Ive been having terrible irrational thoughts that Ive cheated and don’t remember. Like the guilt made me repress the memory and im actually an awful person and someone’s gonna expose me. I know it’s not true and I love my boyfriend more than anything but i feel so guilty for something ive never done. its been making my life so difficult and i dont know how to explain it without sounding like im covering something up :( Its making me think that I need to break up and i don’t want too, but the guilt and anxiety is eating away at me. I feel like I need to get better before I continue on or i’m going to permanently ruin everything with my mental illness

I don’t know what to do I’ve been seeing this guy for roughly 4-5 months and I like him so much like he could be the one. He was in town for something for most of the time we’ve been seeing each other but he recently moved back to his state which is pretty far away. I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to accidentally get an STD from somewhere like a toilet seat or the other day after taking the bus home I forgot to wash or sanitize my hands before wiping plus I’ve had coworkers and even my roommate admit that they’ve had chlamydia and one has HSV. I’m terrified that I’ll get something and he’ll think I cheated and we’ve both been hurt like that before and I wouldn’t want to put him through that or have him think that of me. I’ve been trying to not google anything or go to the doctors bc those are my compulsion and reassurance seeking things but nothing is helping it’s to the point I don’t want to use the bathroom or do anything does anyone have any tips to help it’s starting to effect my life I know this isn’t possible but I keep thinking it would just be my luck that I’d the odd one out it does happen to

I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….

I have confessed to my partner multiple times about a person who is kind of on the fringes of our social circle who I have a crush on. I told him that I fantasized about this person and scrolled through his social media out of curiosity to learn more about him. My partner reassured me multiple times basically that as long as my actions aren’t physically cheating, I am free to do whatever I want in my own head and fantasize. He said he’s had his own crushes too at his workplace and he fantasized about them. We both agreed that it’s okay. He told me to stop fixating so much on intentions and internal cheating and realize that my physical actions are all that matter. This person happens to be in a Discord server with me, my partner, and like 15 other people. Whenever I speak in the server, I take great care to ignore this person’s messages and ONLY directly reply to other people’s. I take great care to ignore them, not give them any attention, and not give a single hint that I care about them at all. Even the times where they addressed me, I keep my responses to a minimum. However, 2 days ago I met him in person (he ended up coming to an event that we were having). I went to dinner after the event with the group of people that I normally go to dinner with, and the person came along. I don’t know if he was planning on going, but I could tell he felt excluded and I asked him if he was coming with us to dinner. I also sat next to him during a part of the dinner (it was a fast food place and we went with a group of 10 people, all of which I am wayyyy closer to). I was ignoring him for the most part, but at one point I did ask him if he liked this place and I made normal small talk with him. I am worried that I cheated because I admittedly did have certain thoughts like: - I felt excited to sit next to him. - I was hoping I looked good. However, I intentionally didn’t shave my mustache that night because I didn’t want to seem like I was just trying to look good for him. I knew the mustache would make me look worse, and I wanted to prove to myself that I was okay with looking worse and that I wouldn’t try to look good for him. - I did however wear my hair in a way that I often do, but sometimes don’t, and I did do this to look more appealing. I took very very good care to NOT give this person any special attention, to ignore him and talk to other people, but I am worried that sitting next to him intentionally was cheating.

I’ve never really dated before out of fear of being rejected or being emotionally abused. So this was the third date with the first guy I’ve dated in years. Last time he said he wanted to kiss me and that’s all that was on my mind. I was afraid of being bad or not liking it so we didn’t kiss and I felt terrible. I was telling myself that I should be thankful that someone is so patient with me and this is why I’m gonna die alone, because I’m so judgmental when it comes to dating….. and I couldn’t stop. I kept ruminating until I later on the couch, closed my eyes, and started giving myself grace. I had shut down for over 30 minutes. And now I’m scared of dating in general.

Struggling really hard right now, going through a lot of changes in my relationship with decisions for grad school coming out for both of us, I can’t tell if it’s my ocd or if it’s real anymore. I love her so much but sometimes I cant really see the future like I can see 6 months in advance but that’s about it I’m scared of what it means to see a future. I don’t want to be with anyone else and I am okay with being alone but I couldn’t stand to lose her.

i saw a tik tok with a guy reading notes about how others relationships ended, or new it ended something like that. One of them was “ when i wasnt excited to see her anymore and it felt like a chore, i wasnt happy anymore and i felt like that for over a year but i couldn’t tell her” i feel horible bc i think i have rocd and for over a year i obbses with me not loving him anymore. i feel awful. what if im in the same position as that guy. what if i dont love him. he is at my house rn and i feel si bad, i feel like i have no feelings. i feel horible i font understand what is happening. i dont want this to happen . This video made me want to cry. what if i cant accept the fact that i dont like him anymore. when he kisses me i think that i dont want him. i feel like a liar.

My intrusive thoughts really really really disturbing and I just I can’t seem to like saying maybe to them and I can’t seem to like just accept them cuz they are sexual related and abt family too. They seem so real and I know that everyone says that but it’s just I can’t take it because it feels so ridiculously real and I keep thinking what if I actually like these thoughts or want these thoughts and I’m scared. As well as intrusive urges they are really debilitating and scary on top of compulsions which hurt me in the exhausting and I don’t know what’s real anymore and my values seem to be gone why won’t my head just stop! I don’t know how to explain my fee my anxiety is through the roof and my therapist is more than ERP therapist rather than someone I can just talk too like I definitely can but she’s more of a like a an exposure therapist and I just I don’t have anyone anymore and my best friend Pet bird just passed away a few hours ago and I think that has a really big affect on how I’m feeling and I’m crying so much right now and grieving I’m scared please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.

my spouse cheated on me on our wedding night and i haven't gotten over it. they never told their parents and i was resentful their parents didn't know. so i called them and told them today. it felt good in the moment to have that extra support from my in-laws but im freaking out now that i have to confess to my partner and they will feel betrayed by me and leave me. is this confession OCD or a real fear? i'm really freaking out.

I am scared, because we both like each other. We get a long very well, and I enjoy his company so much. He has had top surgery, he has a sharp jawline, he's on HRT, but he also has long hair and pretty eyes. He acknowledges that while he obviously presents masculinely he also some feminine traits, he's a "girly boy". But I am scared cause I don't know if I am really attracted to him for any of the "masculine" parts of him. I am attracted to him, I think, because of the "girly" parts. It feels almost like I am betraying him, like I am attracted to him not because he's a guy but because he looks like a girl to me. Which would be horrible to hear if you're a trans man I'm sure. I have been refusing to accept it for weeks now. It can't be the case, I hope. I have watched gay porn before, a lot actually. But I have never had interest in men before him. Everything in my head points to me doing this shameful act, that this whole time I have been misgendering him in my head. I hate it, because I know in my heart that he is a man. He's even looked like a man in the past to me. So I don't know why I can only see the feminine side now. I just don't want to lose him. I love liking him. I want to talk to him like we always do. Am I gay? I don't know? Do I like men? Same question, but I still don't know. Why do I like him? Because he looks like a man or a girl? I don't know. I am just sad, and scared. My therapist tells me I have to live in uncertainty. I don't doubt her. I am not asking for reassurance, just advice. I also needed to vent. Cause my thoughts are spiraling.