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I’m feeling really upset. Recently I’ve become closer to God. And been reading lots of things about Christianity. Now I have always believed from the moment I met my bf that he was different and unlike any feeling I’ve felt before. I’ve been having these intrusive thoughts saying “what if God didn’t choose this person for me” and similar things which makes me scared. I know the earthy term of marriage doesn’t exist in heaven , but I believe that if both partners believe they can spend eternity together in heaven. I keep having thoughts of “what if I get to heaven and God says I’ve got a different person planned for you and you wasted your time” that SCARES the hell out of me and makes me so upset. I feel like wether soulmates exist or not he is mine… and he has said the same thing to me… just because we both have made mistakes and are not perfect and may think differently sometimes, he genuinely feels like home to me and I want to cry while writing that because it’s true. To me, I feel in my heart my bf is truly my soulmate, even tho we both have things to learn still on our journey. Even when we have separated many times we always come back together because we can’t stay away, there’s something that draws us together no matter what happens… I don’t mean for these thoughts to happen and it feels like a new theme starting for me. I’ve been a mess all day because of these thoughts and I know a bunch of strangers can’t tell me if he’s my soulmate or not, or the person that’s meant for me, but has anyone had similar ocd themes to this? I genuinely feel afraid because I don’t want there to be anyone else, he is my everything, so is our daughter we share together… and God is too! I am trying to put my faith above everything else in my life because that’s what is expected as a Christian. Why is this so painful? Im not doubting my relationship I genuinely am so in love with my boyfriend and want to be with him forever and one day eternity in heaven. Then I have these intrusive thoughts that are trying to make it out like Gods the one telling me this (intrusive thoughts and doubt come from the devil, not God) it hurts my soul to have these thoughts racing in my mind. If I spend my life with my partner (this is both of our intentions) and we continue to become better in our relationship, and always try for eachother nomatter what then doesn’t that make him my soulmate? Isn’t your soulmate meant to be the one you feel like you couldn’t live without, the one you turn to with everything, the one who makes your life happier and your heart feel full? I guess ocd just likes to attack anything Good I have going on.

Idk if this is OCD, but does anyone have doubts that God is real? I’ve been struggling with this greatly. I was raised in a Lutheran church and have always believed, but since coming to college I feel like I question everything so much deeper (my bf is also agnostic). Any advice on this? My therapist tells me that ‘I don’t need to have it figured out” but my brain wants to know FOR SURE that there is an afterlife. Like, does praying work? These are the questions I’ve been asking myself.

I really need to talk to someone. My psychologist says I have scrupulosity OCD, but I don't believe it because the things I have done are much worse (not feeding my cat or changing his litter box, not reporting things to the SPCA, or reporting animal abuse properly and just trying not to think about it, feeling like I don't care about anything, not walking my dog or spending time with her for a long time). Can anyone relate? I just feel really bad and like I need to confess so people can tell me what they think. I feel like I'm still going to go the same things and not care about changing. If it wasn't for my mother I wonder how long I would leave feeding my cat.

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? It literally feels like I am in a horror movie, when I’m really REALLY spiraling and ruminating hard, it feels like I’m in another world filled with pure DREAD and horror.I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? It literally feels like I am in a horror movie, when I’m really REALLY spiraling and ruminating hard, it feels like I’m in another world filled with pure DREAD and horror.I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

My bf is agnostic, I am a believer/christian. Obsessing about the fact that if we get married, who knows if it will work out? Do I need to worry about this now? I don’t want to break up but maybe we should?

Everyday I spend my whole day convincing myself I would never hurt anyone. I run through all the reasons I never would I don’t have a history of any harm, I love all the people I’ve thought “what ifs” about with my whole heart. Constantly begging god to show me a sign that promises everything will be okay. I’m exhausted I feel so scared of myself everyday. I’ve thought these things with most everyone but I stay home with my little girl and that’s where the life shattering fear comes in. I’m just tired

i read some things about ocd and the different types of it and symptoms and I can honestly relate to them (im not trying to diagnose myself with ocd but I think I have a type of ocd) lemme explain: so like this been happening since the summer. me and my best friend did something sexually together and me and her afterwards wasn’t okay after that and she told me how she felt afterwards and after that I felt totally disgusted and sick about myself and that’s when all the intrusive thoughts started. I keep having the urge to kill myself everyday I keep thinking about death and it’s getting to the point that I can’t eat because after I eat something I immediately think I’m gonna die because I ate something. When I’m at school or in public I have bad anxiety and thoughts about me dying. And after the situation happened with my friend (I’m Christian) I just feel like God is so disappointed in me because what I did. Nobody knows this situation. Nobody knows what’s REALLY going on with me. Im trying to stay strong but it’s getting really hard to im at my breaking point the thoughts are getting worse and worse everyday I wake up with these intrusive intense thoughts. I want help. But idk how to help myself. I try to go to my mom for help she doesn’t understand me nobody understands but me.

Let out some tears tonight, man. I was over at my parents and my niece came home. She was sitting across from me and my ocd kept drilling into my head that you need to look to see if you see anything. It's always been that way but as if recent I've done a great job at resisting. But this time it's like the ocd said "stop putting up so much of an effort to not look. It'd be less stressful if you gave into the compulsion!" Obviously that's a lie because we all know when we give into compulsions, they make us feel worse. It's hard to not feel "why me? Why do I have to deal with this? Why do I feel compelled to look?". It's defeating because I've done well with resisting compulsions like that and it's like out of all types of compulsions in ocd why does it have to be this? What's crazy is after the compulsion, I was still at my parents and talked to my niece about coming over next week while she's on break and watching Christmas movies with her and my brother, then she came up to me as I was leaving and we gave each other a hug. I mean that should be great news right?? But the OCD is shutting that down and I'm allowing it because it's like the ocd is shaming me and I'm just taking it because I feel ashamed. It's hard not to fall into that mindset of "you haven't been triggered by this in a while, so you should be good". One thing I have to work on is having Self compassion with being triggered and feeling bothered. It's just difficult. Because with POCD, it can be easy to feel so ashamed and not worthy of self compassion. I know God will repair me. I have faith that he will continue to uphold me with his righteous right hand. I pray that he helps me to remain hopeful. OCD can knock me down as many times as it wants but what I want is to never stay down. To never change my course in fear of the OCD. I will not let this ruin the plans I made to watch Christmas movies with my niece and brother next weeks. Because I've wanted to watch Christmas movies with someone as I haven't watched any this year since I didn't have anyone to watch them with. The holidays can be a rough time for those who deal with all sorts of mental health issues. But let's try our hardest to enjoy them. To smile. ❤️💚

I have been struggling with religious OCD for about five months now, I have an official diagnosis now. Which makes sense as I look back on times in my past, I would have intrusive thoughts about God. The more I researched this topic, the more I sent myself into a downward spiral, and I was having blasphemous thoughts about the Holy Spirit, which is unforgivable, which makes me feel like I am hopeless and I’m terrified and this is ruined my life for like five months. Has anyone experienced this and is there hope for me

*not reassurance seeking* i feel no attraction towards guys anymore but i identify as straight. i feel like im just more aware of attractive women. i i also dont get anxiety from my thoughts. what if its not ocd and im actually in denial? and i get that ocd is a doubting disease but sometimes i have these moments of clarity just for it to go back to hell. sometimes i see a hetero couple and my brain would be like "you want to be in a relationship too but with a woman" and im just like🧍🏾‍♀️cuz wtf or "u can never be in a relationship with a man bc ull be wondering whether or not you should be with a woman" i had one intrusive thought and immediately lost all attraction and before this i had a crush on a guy for mad long😭its like my feelings changed overnight. i also cant be around my friends who r girls bc my brain is like "u think their walk is cute so u must be gay and in denial" or "they did something cute/adorable so ur gay" this theme is also worse bc im a Christian. does anyone else relate with me? i just want to know that im not alone with these.

Anyone find the concept of ‘angel numbers’ makes their ocd 100 times worse?

Yall I’ve been deceived. Bamboozled. I thought I was going through a religious awakening, but really it was just OCD. Any other people go through this? I prayed morning and night, Bible throughout the day, stopped listening to music, and I was MISERABLE. I respect those who are religious, but personally I became really emotionally damaged after this experience.

If theres a catholic out there I would appreciate an answer: Are we allowed to criticize saints? What do I mean? When I was younger I was in my opinion very naive and I didnt really know that I had ocd. Now where I am a grown up and I know that my issue has a name namely ocd I started to think things through differently. When I look at saints like St.Padre Pio I always find things in their lives which seemed kinda unhealthy in a spiritual way. I was always amazed by Padre Pio but he seemed very strict and I think growing up with scrupulosity and reading a lot of the saints lives it didnt really help me to get a healthy understanding of religion. I always think that Padre Pio was angry with me when he knew what I think about him that I think a bit critically now and try to distance myself from strict religious views etc. For me that is one example I could tell a lot of others where I dont agree anymore and I feel bad for it.

I am so embarrassed because I have a substance abuse disorder that no one knows about. This time last year, I was going through a breakup. I started hanging out with new people. They smoked weed. I started smoking. A bowl a night. It was the first time in my life I ever felt real peace, real contentment. I guess it wasn’t ‘real’ but I mean that my mind was bearable and I was happy. I felt more able to engage with people. I started smoking before seeing people or with people every time we hung out. I always wanted to be high. I started smoking before class. My grades suffered. I suffered. My anxiety and depression and self shame grew, it feels now the worst it’s ever been. I want to quit but at the same time I’m terrified of getting through this. I don’t know how. There were several times this semester I got high or drunk at random times a day just to feel a sense of ‘joy’. i also have a vaping addiction. this isn’t who i want to be. but i feel like it’s all that i am im so lonely but i don’t get real with my friends anymore because my thoughts scare me and i don’t trust my thoughts or see them as valid because the reason for my breakup was how much i suffered with sexual orientation OCD. I really thought I was questioning my sexuality. I loved him so much. I was so scared there would be a reason I couldn’t be with him. Growing up, I was religious so I was taught homosexuality was a sin. I was not attracted to girls (and didn’t understand why that would be a sin) Nonetheless. I had a best friend who came out to me as gay and in love with me. I started worrying about it, little thoughts, around this time. At first the diagnosis was encouraging It meant there were explanations for this But now I just don’t feel like I can trust myself at all Because it derailed my life before I just know two years ago/every other version of me would be so sad to see where we are now. I have very little hope for myself.

Well the title explains it. It’s so hard to have religious OCD, with other subtypes in general. I’m a devout Catholic, and I pray to God, Jesus, Virgin Mary and other saints. There have been times where I’ve prayed and gotten signs from them that have made me feel happy and at peace. However with this demonic disease, I would often look back and say God told me this about my future and it would cause a great deal of anxiety. I would often cry and complain to myself saying why is God doing this to me. I’ve explained it to all of my family members and they all say it’s not God, and that it’s just me. I would feel and get fleeces that God is saying this will happen or this won’t happen in the future and it’s very stressful and straining. I even got a vision from my guardian angel once, and even that gets questioned. I don’t know what to do anymore. I would constantly get mental images that makes me think it’s God and it’s gives me stress. It’s so awful

i’m a gentile who believes in judaism. i haven’t read the entirety of the oral torah, but i’m scared it said gentiles/ people who aren’t decended from jacob are meant to stutter/ will stutter as a consequence for their sins. i asked chat gpt if it said this and it said yes. now i can’t stop stuttering and i don’t know if it’s because im trucking myself i have a stutter or bc that’s what the oral torah says. im so scared.

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

hey, i saw this on tiktok and i’ve been struggling really bad my whole life. i’ve never been diagnosed but im too scared that people will tell me im being dramatic or im making it up to get help. i think it started when i was in 1st or 2nd grade, i would come home everyday and confess things to my mom. like not taking my usual routes in the hallways and not returning a pencil to anyone. i dont know why it has to be her but i still do this. it’s like she’s my only comfort person and sometimes it feels like im just bothering her with it. i dont know who to talk to or what to do to fix it. everyone has told me that getting on medicine will only make it worse because if i come off of it it will be a whole lot worse. as i got older, it kind of left me for a while until earlier this year. i’ve always been told that having an extreme conscience was a good thing, but this feels awful. i turned to God which i still believe it but i don’t think it was the right way. i was overly paranoid that the end times were coming so much that i couldn’t do my daily routines. my sister has 2 babies and when i turned to Jesus it was also because i was having insane intrusive and embarrassing of doing horrible things to them. i didn’t even know who i was. i love both of those babies like they’re my own, i constantly come over to see them, bring gifts, etc and i could never intentionally hurt them but when i have these thoughts it’s like seeing yourself in a different perspective. when i signed up for this app a few minutes ago i think it said that was POCD. i would never do anything to hurt anyone, ive always been a very gentle and caring person so it’s kind of hard to argue with yourself. i was also at the time hitting an extreme point of paranoia about my health, constantly obsessing over everything because i thought i was dying. it left me again for a few months but now it’s back and i don’t know what else to do. i don’t know if this is ocd or if im straight out just a terrible person. any advice, comments, or anything is welcome!

-social anxiety -existential ocd -religious ocd