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I had some drinks and ate dinner last night and now wake up with anxiety. Sitting up in bed because I can hear my heart rate and am focused on it. I feel so bad!

And I dont know how to stop. Every minute on my mind of me trying to make myself feel better about it, hoping there is an afterlife. I keep trying to not think about it but It keeps coming up. I keep trying to imagine it to hope I give myself peace about it or think of possibilities that were in a timeloop and I’ll be born again after the loop. It’s gotten to the point where I keep thinking im about to die. Im hypersensitive to everything about my body and I keep checking my pulse to see if my heart is beating normally. I keep trying to reassurance myself im not gonna die but the thought is scary and I know im not supposed tk seek reassurance but I dont know how im not supposed to seek reassurance about this. I dont know what to do. I just feel like vessel with a brain.

So I’ve been suffering with intense health anxiety for a few years now, and just recently I learned it may be caused by OCD. It’s to the point where every time I get a headache I start to freak out, scared that I could be having an aneurysm. I am far too worried about having a stroke or heart attack for being 21. I can’t even enjoy a casual, relaxing hot shower anymore. I have to slowly increase the temperature when getting in and slowly decrease the shower while getting out because I am afraid that any drastic temperature change can give me a heart attack. I know deep down that these fears are illogical, but no matter how often I get them they still feel just as real every time. I try to reason with myself, but every time I feel mild discomfort in my body I can’t help but freak out. I am so tired of checking my face in the mirror for symptoms of stroke every time I get a headache or feel a weird sensation in my body. Every other day of the week I force myself to stay awake for a certain period of time because I’m scared if I go to sleep I won’t wake up. I get hymnic jerks every single night (where you jolt awake when drifting to sleep) because my brain is so occupied with making sure I’m staying alive that it jolts me awake because my body is trying to sleep while my mind stays awake. It’s so difficult for me to pay attention during lectures because I get so caught up in my health anxiety that I’m focusing on grounding techniques in order to keep myself from hyperventilating. I spend more time making sure I can understand the words my professor is saying to make sure I’m not having a stroke than actually paying attention to the lectures. Another thing I struggle with is having to count my medication every time before I take it to make sure I didn’t accidentally take two or more doses, even if I KNOW I only took one. I have to count them anyways otherwise my mind will convince me I overdosed. It will not stop until I count my medication and make sure I didn’t overdose. It’s honestly so tiring, and the sad part is that my health anxiety has actually gotten better. It was even worse before now, and everything I’ve listed is stuff that I still do. Does anyone else have this struggle? Because it feels so isolating and makes me feel like I’m going crazy.

I’m here because I’m looking for help. I’ve tried CBT but my therapist isn’t specialized in OCD and I don’t know what else to do. I’m terrified all the time, I wear a mask every day and wash my hands till they are raw. I don’t know what to do, I didn’t have anywhere near the levels of anxiety and depression before the pandemic that I have since the pandemic started, I am terrified of everything, I had Covid once but I am terrified that I’m a ticking time bomb because it does cause long lasting symptoms and can disable or kill you even after one infection and that’s what terrifies me. I’m forced to go into the office with people who don’t mask and don’t care about coughing up a lung and not covering it up. I can’t sleep without feeling like something is wrong with my heart or my body and I am constantly afraid of going out and being around people and crowds. I’m terrified of Covid and getting it again and losing my life and quality of life because of it. I’m also terrified of losing my wife because she doesn’t want a partner who just stays in the house all the time.

i’ve had pretty bad anxiety all day because of what happened last night. basically it made me scared i was getting the stomach bug, but i never threw up. i also ate a pretty good amount of food today. however, all day today i’ve just been so anxious. it’s like one minute i’m completely fine and the next i’m scared that i’m nauseous and don’t feel good. i can’t figure out if i’m okay or not. i feel like it might be me getting scared that i have symptoms which then makes me feel like i have symptoms. it’s a never ending cycle. i can’t bring myself down. i feel like i’m going at 100.

Almost 3 years ago, before my recent OCD flare up, I finally fell in love with running. After years of training for a 5k here and there and hating the whole process it finally stuck, and I LOVED it. Then I started getting some symptoms. Heartburn when I ran. Muscle strains, etc. I was sort of diagnosed with GERD but the doctor never actually did any tests. Fast forward to now, and I’ve healed my GERD, but I haven’t managed to start running again. And quite honestly, it terrifies me. I’ve been to hell and back with OCD since last summer. Thinking I had a breast lump to colon cancer to gallbladder cancer. And I occasionally have this pain/discomfort in my right rib area that now has all my attention. I went to the doctor, had a ton of blood work and tests done, all coming back fine. And the doctor then said “if you’re still having pain, I can schedule a CT, it’s up to you.” Which of course with OCD is the worst. It’s almost like I don’t know if what I’m feeling is even real? Is it normal body noise? It does seem to disappear when I’m distracted…makes me feel like a complete crazy person! Anyway, I was having a chat with a friend and she’s training for her first marathon. We started talking about races and I’ve always wanted to do a triathlon and without realizing it, we both started planning on doing a beginners one together. I’m so so worried that the “pain” I’ve been fixated on will get worse, I’ll start training and have to stop. I just don’t know what to do. I miss running so so much and think that training for something could be so good for me but on the other hand, some days the slightest discomfort in my right side sends me into a panic. I just don’t know what to do 😭 thank you if you’ve read this far.

Hi I'm new here, I have been suffering from somatic breathing ocd for like a month now but has gotten so much worse since like 2 days ago my chest hurts everyday bc I be so focused on my breathing I feel like I can't switch back to automatic anym until unless I'm asleep the thought of breathing is always running constantly in the back of my mind when I'm distracting myself or when it gets worse its the only thing I can focus on. I literally feel like gasping for air too. I'm scared I might damage my automatic breathing system or something like that. Im lost as to what to do I feel like I'm beyond fixable.

Struggling currently. Anyone here have it and what did you find helpful to overcome?

I have been struggling with insomnia for the past 2 years. It started after several months of intense focus on a reflux condition that was not there. I may have had some reflux at the start but it must have went away bc I had an endoscopy performed and they found no signs of reflux. It was all nerves. I focused on all my symptoms. I watched every bit of food I ate. I could sleep during it but I still had the reflux feeling. It was all mental. I had a stressful job that I should have left. After several months of struggling with this I finally gave in and went on Temp Disability for 3 months. Just after I left my job the reflux went away and I was relieved BUT then came the insomnia. I was so hyper vigilant of my body that it seeped into my subconscious and bam I couldn’t sleep. I think the lack of sleep was worse than the reflux. Now here I am on sleep meds and more anxiety meds to keep calm and sleep through the night. I would like nothing more than to sleep at night naturally. It’s difficult for me to work esp if shift work. I’m hoping I can find the right help/therapy for me to get back to living.

One of my most persistent symptoms of OCD is being convinced that I have some kind of severe or terminal illness. I've had so many appointments (that have picked up a few things but nothing that's been a death sentence). Every ache, symptom, I'm absolutely convinced something is wrong. Then I'll get it checked out, and it's normal. Or I'll feel a sensation like earlier I felt a sharp pain in my stomach when I pressed the upper part of it, CONVINCED its stomach cancer. And then I burped and I'm perfectly fine. I get so intensely wrapped in worry, and then later on I see I completely made everything up. It's so exhausting.

Here I am once again. I found a small moveable lump under my chin so I ended up going to the ER because i couldn’t wait to get in to a ENT. The Dr just felt it and said it’s a gland. I told her it doesn’t feel like the one on the other side. She did a CBC and said she isn’t worried about it. I can’t get it out of my head that she’s wrong. I have been looking at a Prayer request that went out from a well known radio host and read all the comments of people asking for Prayers due to them or loved ones having cancer. All I want to do is sleep, as soon as I wake up I get the surge of anxiety and panic. I fear death and worry IF there is no afterlife and this makes things 💯 worse. I’m tired

Please can someone tell me if this is part of ocd: I get physical discomforts and itchy sensations everytime I try to relax or to sleep. I feel the need to scratch or adjust my clothes or rub my hands and this goes on for hours. I feel exhausted and when I do ERP the sensations get worse or keep coming back.. help

I’ve only recently discovered that I have developed Health Concern OCD, Existential OCD and Somatic OCD. There’s a lot going on in my head all the time. In the past year, specifically the last few months, I’ve had the same recurring thoughts: -How were humans created to breathe? It’s crazy how our bodies can breathe on its own while we sleep. It’s not something anyone should ever think about yet I always think about the way I breathe, if I’m breathing enough, what if I randomly stop breathing or forget how to breathe? -I feel there is always something wrong with me. I have random sharp shooting pains in my chest, I experience heart palpitations frequently, I feel off balance almost every day. What if there’s something seriously wrong with me DESPITE all of the doctor’s visits, blood tests, EKGs and heart ultrasounds I’ve done in 2023 that all confirm I’m “healthy” and there is nothing wrong. What if I wake up and something is seriously wrong with me throughout the day and I come to find out I have a terminal illness? -Why do our bodies turn on us and make us sick? Why does illness strike unexpectedly? Why was I put on this earth? Where do we go and what happens when we die? What happens to our souls? Our soul is what makes us and our soul is a small little voice in our head and that voice is trusting the house (our bodies) it lives in to keep it safe and out of danger and to provide a long and healthy life/home for our soul. It’s exhausting having all of these thoughts on repeat every day. How do I make these thoughts stop!?

I dont know if thid is actually my ocd because my stresser was my dad being in hospital and I’ve been in therapy had EMDR sessions and I’ve been completely fine since then but now.. Anyone have flare ups after a change in your life? I’m a student nurse and I’ve just finished my first placement and I’ve never been so happy like I was on that placement and now I’m back at uni… I have constant breathlessness, what ifs and a strong need to cry and a massive feeling of panic and in my head I’m like no no no this can’t be happening. if you get me and I don’t know why it’s happening again but I want it to stop I was doing so fucking well I was happy. Like actually happy and now….

My new obsession is any little pain I feel around my heart or arm is a heart issue even if I know deep inside is no my thoughts will try to convince me that it is and that I should be hyper super alert of any sensation for “safety” well today I stopped the hyper focus on it and just letting the pain be there I felt so risky like I was risking my life but pain when away and I felt so much better after taking the “risk”

Here's my story, I'm just your typical 33 year old, going through life, started feeling depressive/anxiety symptoms starting about 29.5. Benefitted from CBT immensely. I am also avid podcast listener and did a lot of diligent work on this path to self discovery, overcoming my people pleasing, learning to set boundaries, saying guilt free nos', standing up for myself without it wrecking me after, so on. My symptoms on most days are non existent, just the usual stuff, the seasonal depressions, and so on. The only thing I haven't fully mastered/managed/learned to manage has been my somatic symptoms. I get hyper aware of some sensation, or symptom, try to ignore it, goes away on its own, the mental triggers, I got that down, ignore/observe/let it fade away. Few years ago, I developed somatic breathing, where I suddenly become aware of my breathing, or feeling like there isn't enough of it, this started post pandemic. Think it had to do with a lot of anxiety, not having seen my family in years, so on. There was also some swallowing related somatic feelings too, I used to check my O2 sat. That was probably the trigger. It went away over the course of the years and became manageable and even one I totally overcame. Recently, I've been feeling kinda stuck, wanting some change, feeling like there is a permenence to the impermanence, coupled with a rather depressing and low sunlight winter, I am going through a bout of seasonal depression. My darling body and mind are taking care of me, being over protective, etc etc. Few weeks ago, I had a near fainting episode, with the trigger being fear itself. Coupled with dehydration, some exertion by taking too many stairs, I even remembered thinking, oh this is happening, it was brief, and I went to the ER, they were amazing, took so much care of me, did all kinds of tests, and determined that I was all good, just an unfortunate incident. Now my depression is making me not feel motivated to workout or anything, but I am high functioning and I get through it without much of a change in how I show up in the world. I was able to invariably conclude that the trigger was fear itself. And I recently heard a podcast where the doctor/speaker mentioned that for somatic symptoms, the distraction on onset of symptoms itself is the trigger. Much like when we shine a light on a strange thought. Although it's only been a week and a half. I'm already mostly back to normal, and grateful for all the support and kindness I've found during this time from family, friends, and the amazing doctors. Here is my little insight: there is a catch 22 about somatoform, the fear of the fear or fear of reoccurrence, or reading about the symptoms, even to educate yourself, are triggering. Much alike pure o. My only suggestion, compassion to yourself, and do your exposures when you are ready, don't rush. Love and wellbeing to you all.

I didn't even realize. I'm about to get my period and my anxiety is higher. I'm noticing how my friend hasn't written back to my texts or hasn't answered the last 3 times I called. I think he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I wrote a text and asked if I did something wrong and he didn't respond. My other friend annoyed me. And I think my other friend doesn't like me that much. I feel abandoned and forgotten and like I must be a bad friend or bad person or why would they all forget me like this. What did I do? Did I take my opinions too far? I've been picking at my skin, having a feeling of unrest. I just watch Netflix and lie on my couch to avoid it. I look okay, but I haven't worked in a year purposefully to find a new way, but I haven't found it yet. I'm doing so much, but it always feels like too little. I tell myself again and again that I'm doing enough, but there's always a voice that says no you're lazy, you're unhealthy and you're just making excuses. I hyperfixate on stupid solutions like blood tests, supplements, genetic testing to explain my symptoms my depression (or is it laziness) my anxiety, my lack of energy, my aches and pains. I quit all drugs and alcohol even caffeine. I track my sleep. I want to feel good. And believe it or not I was thinking I did feel good? Until the afternoon. I don't know. I really hope this is just some fucking b vitamin deficiency and I'll take some pills and be reborn as a human and not a trash pile. Look at me all perfect. With all my career, and my money, and friends who don't like me. Don't I look put together. I'm so imperfect and so scared of anyone finding out. I'm so scared to tell anyone how messed up I am on the inside. I rant to my therapist, my coaches, whoever but I'm just going around in circles. Without support I'd be fucking nuts. Thankfully I pay people to support me. Because no one would for free. Fuck my.life.

I felt so understood when I learned that a characteristic of OCD is to question or doubt your own judgment. This is something I experienced quite frequently, and especially around my physical disability which causes pain. I wanted to ask if anybody else living with OCD and a disability or chronic illness sometimes questions their pain and has thought patterns along the lines of "this hurts... but does it really hurt?" Or " I don't feel good.... but do I just not feel good because I'm thinking about how I don't feel good?" Let me know in the comments if this is something you experience. Sending love and support to anyone living with OCD or other comorbid conditions. P.S- I have found OCD recovery YouTube Channel very validating

I don’t know what to do anymore. Anytime I feel the highs OCD ruins it and I feel like I can’t be happy. Im 20 and I can’t imagine living the rest of my life like this. I have no idea what to do, im so hyper aware of my actions (blinking, etc) a complete hypochondriac and I cannot enjoy life anymore. There is no quality of life with horrible OCD.

Does anyone else obsess about having another panic attack or scan their body constantly for how they feel and if a thought or feeling about a panic attacks comes on, you’re more likely to start to feel panicky?