- Date posted
- 1y
My OCD is going absolutely insane right now. There are SO many stressors, so much mental and physical stress. I feel crazy. UGH Iām gonna let myself keep crying for now because ā¹ļø
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My OCD is going absolutely insane right now. There are SO many stressors, so much mental and physical stress. I feel crazy. UGH Iām gonna let myself keep crying for now because ā¹ļø
do you ever get so tired and used to all of this that you dont even want to react to the thoughts or do the compulsions⦠like, i had a talk with my boyfriend he tried to make a ātalk therapy ā with me maybe i will do a post about that and i felt better after talking with him (since i have rocd amd he wants to help me) and ofc i still have some thoughts and a bad feeling in me but i dont want to act on my thoughts or give them atention bc im so over this. is it normal reaction??? am i faking my ocd???
I really don't know wtf to do. Out of everything I've been through this has to be the last straw. I'm getting so much better with regards to POCD and HOCD but omw! This is the worst. I actually never had incest intrusive thoughts or even pedophile intrusive thoughts until I basically had an existential crisis where I asked some really normal thoughts I'd say but due to OCD, they were just blown out of proportion. One of the questions being "are morals real?" I think I did quite well with unlearning and learning in the "existential crisis phase" but one thing that stuck is incest OCD! That scared me from the beginning right now it's just so bad. It's okay for me to be around my family, I can handle that to a certain extent but the problem is other families. It's like my perception of families has been ruined. I hear about families and immediately think of incest between them and it's frustrating! I don't know how to see families the same way anymore aarg!!!!! I don't like this !
Hey everyone, Iām still struggling a bit with false memory ocd. Mine revolves around my relationship. There are some things I have remembered that occurred early on in the relationship, whether someone texted me on Snapchat or TikTok etc. and it was old friends of mine from a friend group. In the friend group it was me and about couple guys and girls. I remember there being an instance where one of the guys had messaged me on Snapchat after I had posted something about a tv show or I had posted a picture of me and my mom and they reached out to me saying something and I honestly canāt remember at all what they had said to me but Iām pretty sure i remember I responded with āLolā or āThank youā , and I think the reason Iām really struggling right now is that I canāt remember hardly anything about the text at all. And of course, my ocd is trying to convince me that it was either a flirty chat, or something else. I also want to mention that I unadded a lot of people off my snap, mostly guys on TikTok etc after dating my boyfriend because I felt like that was respectful. And even after doing that, my OCD was trying to convince me that I un added them because I was hiding something or I was on adding them because I didnāt want my boyfriend to see that they were on my Snapchat, which was not the case at all. I think Iām just really struggling because I think about past events that have happened in my mind is trying to convince me that something else happened, rather than allowing me to remember what actually went on. I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else struggles with something like this because itās been really bothering me the past couple days and I know I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend because I love him so much itās just I freak out constantly, and it bothers me a lot.
Hello, I've struggled with possible OCD but it didn't involved POCD at first, at first it was basically me denying that I was ever a victim of grooming/pedophilia and how I was the real abuser towards my abusers despite the fact that I was the child, they were the adult, how is that possible??. Then eventually in 2023, I saw a video based on a FNF modder exposing him as a groomer/pedophile, and it was because when he was 17 he allegedly had an interaction with someone who was 15 that was nsfw. Now keep in mind, I was a victim of grooming/pedophilia especially since age 11 and even at 17, however I was also a bit of a promiscuous teen due to years of being groomed and I was having nsfw discussions/heavily sex positive convos with people who were 15/16/17 at 17 and I never considered how that could be inappropriate and my intent wasn't to be predatory but the fact that I was just simply exploring my sexuality, also a lot of the people I was doing this with, we were apart of a discord server that heavily encouraged NSFW convos between Teens and adults and it was made by an adult so bad environment overall made by an actual predator. However it didn't stop me in 2023 thinking that I was a pedophile as a teenager and I was genuinely worried and thought that I was a terrible person and I still do. I only did what I did because I was being hurt and thought it was okay, I never meant to hurt anyone and I at 19 literally convinced myself that I was a pedo in my under 18 teen years because of the age gap between me and my friends {1/2 years} and we had conversations that were sexual based even though I at 19 was dating my BF who was 22/23 at the time, I was 19 having sexual convos with adults, I at 19 had friends that were minors and our conversations were always appropriate and never nsfw or those same friends that I had previous convos with that were nsfw, {they were all either 17/18/19 and I was 19} our conversation topics have switched to more SFW ones unlike the ones we had when we were all minors so how could I be a pedo? and I freaked out about it, I couldn't concentrate in classes at all, it was a genuine nightmare. Eventually I did get better and realized that my behaviors were under duress and how I'm not actually a bad person and how I've changed as an adult and do not wish to harm anyone however I'm back on my cycle of worrying again and I've communicated to the people who I thought I affected and they all express no ill will or any anger and were never uncomfortable, do not think about it or just don't care/simply forgot. But Guilt eats me up like a stray dog. I also sometimes see people on twitter calling 17 year olds dating 15 or 16 year olds pedophiles or calling them "P diddy"
So I was talking to this one polyamorous guy but we had been friends before we started talking romantically. Anyway one day he has a mental breakdown and he says he can't do polyamory rn (for reasons I won't get into but I think they're valid) and I was like that's fine. But now it just feels like we can't talk to each other. I am either terrified that I won't be able to talk to him cause I will be too upset or I am terrified he won't talk to me because he hates me. We used to talk nonstop everyday but now we haven't talked for three days. And I don't know if it's me or him, or maybe I am just losing it. But all I want to do is talk to him. I am always checking his socials just trying to see if he's online and wondering if he will or why won't he text me. Anytime we do talk, it's always like a two sentence exchange. Maybe it's him, maybe he needs space, but everytime I see him (we go to college together) he seems to be happier, everytime he posts on twitter he seems happier, I don't know. I just want him to like me. I want to talk to him. I am scared I have to stop talking to him completely, because in the past I have never gotten over someone unless someone else comes in and takes their place so it isn't like we can take a break and then I come back and everything's good. It would likely take a long time, and it's only been like 4 months since we started talking š (I am so cooked). I don't know why I am like this. I wish I could be normal about him/other people. I don't know if I am just in an OCD spiral or not, but I just want it to be over. Sorry for the rambling, but if anyone has any advice I will consider it.
does anyone else get really sick like every 2-3 weeks. i dont know if its my anxiety but i always get really bad nausea flu type symptoms every few weeks and like headaches with sinus and ear issues but the doctor said everythings fine and ive been to ER like 3 times and they said everythingās perfect :(
Hey everyone. Iām new to this app and have been recently diagnosed with OCD. My symptoms were something I had all my life but only recently took the step to seek therapy. Hoping to share my journey with yāall soon and recover together.
my people in relationships i have a question! i find a lot of like relationship āconceptsā that we see online or just within our culture really trigger me. articles, posts, dialogue, friends pretty much anything saying things things like āoutgrowing relationshipsā āyou need to date around extensively to find the oneā āyouāre too young to be in love or settle downā āthings my partner doesā pretty much anything about advice or just other peopleās situations triggers me at times and makes me question a lot!! i know this means i need more confidence in myself which im working on. iām doing the work to separate my situation from these and i know itās working because it feels uncomfortable, but iām wondering if anyone young and in a relationship navigates this. i also feel like this triggering gets worse when im already anxious. recently my partner and i have been having constant spats bc im hesitant to communicate. i feel like im putting pressure on myself bc i really want this to work out to the point where i feel like idk what to do! itās funny identifying the tricks ocd is playing on me bc i do recognize the irony here but any advice in coping or just experiences helps!!! mwah mwah happy womenās day!!!!
Lately, Iāve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I donāt understand why. When I look at him, it feels like Iām looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I donāt like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesnāt make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel somethingālove, excitement, even reliefābut instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I donāt feel much. I keep thinking, āIf I really loved him, wouldnāt I feel something?ā And the fact that I donāt just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I canāt remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, āThat wasnāt real, you were just excited to have a relationship.ā And because I canāt access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like Iām hurting him. He tells me he doesnāt feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I canāt just snap out of this and be the way I was before. Itās exhausting. I donāt know whatās real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know thatās a compulsion, but itās so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, āBut what if you donāt love him? What if youāre just lying to yourself?ā I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I donāt know how to get there, and itās terrifying.ā
Iāve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like Iām infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. Itās been so hard for me because itās hard to tell if itās just my brain convincing me I donāt love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so thereās also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how Iāve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like Iām more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like Iām alone and that this is the sign that Iām terrible and shouldnāt be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I canāt tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that Iām having that doubt.
I was doing so great for about a month, ups and downs. Now Iām riddled with anxiety. Iām trying to push through, Iāve been cooking and doing other things that make me feel productive. I had Covid like two weeks ago, felt better for 3 days (exhausted though) and boom I get hit with strep throat. My anxiety is through the roof, rejection sensitivity is all I know right now. Ruminating turned up to max volume that I keep having to slam down. Iām feeling pretty hopeless and lonely. I feel scared and full of shame. My body hurts and my throat is killing me. Iām so exhausted. I feel like Iām on 1% I just needed to vent a bit but if anyone has any advice Iād appreciate it so much
Of course we canāt stop the inevitable but with my ocd itās all I can think about. Iām afraid Iāll be alone for ever and Iāll fear forever. Fear does not stop death it stops life. But how do I stop fear??? I canāt think of anything scarier than the fact that our conscious will vanish for eternity. I am only 20 years old but I mean the last 5 years flew by like nothing.
So yesterday night I did the Nazi salute to compare it to the roman salute, at first I was arguing with myself that what elon musk did wasn't a roman salute so I displayed what I thought was a roman salute looked like. Then after that I did the Nazi salute, I never done it in my life and ever since I started learning history last year my minds been telling me to do it as an intrusive thought, but I never actually did it until now. I don't know why I did it and I feel horrible for doing it, the second after I did it, I felt horrible, I felt immediately guilty , someone pls help
Lately, Iāve been feeling like my relationship isnāt real. I keep thinking: ⢠Why am I even with him? ⢠Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? ⢠What if Iām just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I donāt feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I donāt like him, and Iām just in denial. I also heard that when you donāt like someone, thereās no anxietyājust relief. But I have moments where the thought āI donāt want to be with himā crosses my mind, and I donāt feel anything at all. And because I donāt panic immediately, I start thinking āMaybe this means itās true.ā Iāve read that love isnāt about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I donāt feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I donāt. I feel like Iām losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I canāt seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. Itās like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like Iām trapped in this endless doubt, and I donāt know whatās real anymore.
i am a freshman in college and i have always struggled with depression, anxiety, and OCD. i have never received help for my OCD despite being medicated for my other two issues. i have noticed that what most of my panic stems from is my OCD and more specifically my OCD around school. i havenāt been able to get myself up for class for multiple days and im starting to panic about everything im missing and think about every little thing i have to fix. i am so behind that it makes me want to panic and i feel like i cant fix this. i just want my mind to feel normal but it feels like my whole world is falling apart all because i am feeling stuck in school. please help me i just want to feel okay but i dont know how to. i have tried doing all the assignments i can do to catch up but it isnāt enough i still feel so panicked
How the hell do I tell this to my therapist?! So like I said about shape-sifting fictional characters like Pennywise sometimes when theyāre male I get attracted to them by their charm for example bob gray aka Pennywise in It. Idk if you know the IT lore but IT the creature is supposed to be female or so they say but the clown bob gray is male. Which triggers my ocd cause I donāt want to be attracted to a female character now my intrusive thoughts is like oh I canāt handle it I wish I was dead like Georgie. I may have to get rid of everything I have that deals with this movie cause it triggered a thought I thought I would never have. I havenāt even watched the movie but when everyone started talking about it again cause a new series is coming up the thought just keeps coming backš SOS
Can having socd make you lose attraction. I have never be the girl to obsess or chase after boys does that mean Iām gay. I had crushes on them but I would rather die then have them know I like them. Plus I knew they were out of my league so even if they did like me I feel like I would say no for some reason. I have been single all my life and thinking of being in a relationship feels so weird and scary and foreign. Like I feel like I wonāt be in a relationship. I wonāt look good with anyone or I will feel like an imposter. Idk how to explain it. I want to feel love but all this is making me feel like I never will.
The things that used to make me happy? The things that used to make me sad? I don't know how to connect with those anymore. I used to be happy just looking at the sunset and nature, I loved being present in the moment but now being present in the moment is scary because now I'm faced with my thoughts and new potential ones so I'd rather distract myself. I love kballads and I used to listen to them and just cry and be happy because they sound so beautiful but now I can't embrace these things that feel like beauty because I feel like the exact opposite. The only things I can enjoy are K-drama's! But I can't watch things with kids in it. So yah that's tricky! And the things that make me sad?! Well I used to be sad and terrified about loosing my loved ones but now it's a different kind of sad. I used to be sad because of miss them and all that but now I'm scared of facing now messed up my emotions have become. I'm scared of loosing someone I love and then not being able to feel sad because I'm just numb, or even worse...if it becomes something I'm okay with or what if OCD convinces me that I'm happy about it because honestly it would be weird moving around the world with such emotions. So not only has OCD made it hard for me to enjoy the good things but also hard for me to feel sad about the sad things or just to put it short...to experience emotions normally.
Okay so, this is gonna be very detailed because it's a lot. I have a friend that going to be in China for an exchange program and that's obviously amazing! But...I got super jealous because my biggest dream is to live in an Asian country but as I always do when I feel jealousy instead of letting it consume me I tell the person I'm jealous of so that I can ensure it doesn't feel odd carrying around jealousy that they know nothing about if that makes sense. And so I tell him and he brushes it off, but the jealousy stays with me. I've also been having some harm OCD thoughts beforehand so the two thoughts merged and I thought of horrendous thoughts it's so scary cause these thoughts are not just intrusive, they have a meaning attached to themš. Back in the day I'd get jealous and it would be just that...no harmful thoughts towards the other person but just because I've been in an OCD rut I have actually been unable to feel negative emotions anymore without them having to be tainted with harmful thoughts towards others or myself honestly like wthš! I hate this! What do y'all do with intense jealousy??
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