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Today I woke up and told myself I wasn’t going to engage with the intrusive thoughts, I went downstairs and I was trying to avoid having intrusive thoughts about suffocating my cat with the pillow, but I kept feeling tempted to have the thoughts and thinking ‘maybe you do like the idea’ and I started worrying and thinking what if Through the thoughts I know how it feels to do that (because when your having the thoughts/ruminating it feels very real, almost like it’s already happened or I’ve lived through that) and now I’m desperate to do that or what if I’m secretly curious about how it feels to do that that’s why I can’t ignore the thoughts and keep feeling tempted to think about them. Or I was thinking what if through the thoughts I like the feeling of doing that but I have a conscious so now I have evil desires but I’m a good person so I don’t want to do it. I feel awful I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m believing this notion more and more everyday, I hate this and don’t know what to do

OCD can be anywhere from bothersome to devastating. For many of us, this is the hardest, most painful part of our life. Yet somehow pain has a way of making us into really special people if we let it… How has OCD changed your life for the better? I’m in the thick of my journey right now, I start erp therapy next week. Its tempting to feel alone, bitter, and like I’m the only one who has ever experienced this. I am looking for hope from those who have walked this road before me!

This week has been tough for me. My supervisor at my job gave me some feedback that really triggered some intense OCD thoughts. They told me I was making careless mistakes on a task and that I am not being detail oriented enough. I’m sure that all of you are aware of how crazy this might sound to someone with OCD who double and triple checks everything they do. Anyway, because of this error they took away my other responsibilities because the mistake I was making was apparently bad enough that they felt they couldn’t trust me to do anything else. On top of it being terrible management and that it doesn’t teach me anything or show me what to do differently, it also seriously triggered my anxiety. Now anytime I do something at work I have been checking it 100x over because I’m afraid of another mistake. I wish people would be kinder when they criticize. Sending love to anyone who checks their work for perfection ❤️

People with harm ocd know that it can be very difficult to explain to people around you what this problem is like and even after all the explaining they will never truly know how horrible this feels. I think people with ethnic parents will have any even harder time accepting and understanding because where they grew up they never heard of such things and haven’t been educated on mental health, my ethnic mum still doesn’t fully understand and sometimes says hurtful things, for example the other day someone wrote a post on here about their intrusive thoughts and I read it to her and she said ‘oh my god, imagine how many weirdos there are out there’ but I read it to her since I have the same problem as them, and it made me feel like crap hearing her say that.

Several months ago I met this guy online originally as friends, and once meeting we became friends with “benefits”. From there on we began sexting on snapchat. I made the dumb decision of letting him keep the photos in the chat but not save it in his camera roll. Eventually our conversations slow faded because of our busy schedules and we mutually stopped talking, but we still had each other added. Fast forward to yesterday, I get a notification that this person saved x photos from me. I click on it and it also says that he blocked me. I go into my alt account and tell him off about doing that and that he needs to delete them because it’s weird. I switch back and forth between accounts to see if he would reply, just to see that he also blocked the alt account before I could even see if he messaged me back. I have been spiraling all day because I am not sure what he is doing with my explicit photos. I’ve never had this happen to me which is why I probably felt so comfortable with keeping it in the chat and plus we haven’t talked in a few months. So I was not thinking that he would do something creepy like this. I am scared that he might maliciously post these on an explicit website or exchange it with others. I am 19 and he is 20 btw.

Good morning everyone! For the last month I’ve been going to sleep and waking up almost every day with nauseous or nerves towards my relationship. I’m in a long distance relationship about 3 hours apart. We have been together on and off for almost four years now. (We met in college). We come from two different religious households. I’m Catholic and he is non denominational Christian. My family likes him but his family doesn’t approve of our relationship. Our relationship is overall really good. We make each other laugh, we listen to each other, and we have learned to communicate really well towards each other. The only issue I have in our relationship is his view on LGBTQ+ due to his religious back ground. Because of this it has created me to go through motions extremely similar to relationship ocd. He doesn’t actually do anything, he has met my gay friends and he doesn’t give me an issue for hanging with them at all. I am just overall so fearful of our future and it all stems from intrusive thoughts that cripple my day. I don’t want to end things but apart of me does out of extreme fear of the future. I feel like I have no control and it bothers me a lot

Is it okay for me to have children/be around children when I have POCD? A little backstory. I have been suffering from intrusive thoughts for the last year and three months. They started off as being sexual thoughts about adults (picturing people naked, etc.). They then shifted to sexual thoughts about children. And these thoughts caused me an immense amount of guilt and shame to the point where I stopped doing what I love (babysitting, working with or around children) and even changed career paths (being a teacher). Now, my thoughts aren’t about children, but teens (so like 16-18 year olds). I am 20 years old and I have an overwhelming fear that I am “attracted” to minors. Both of these intrusive thoughts categories causes me a lot of self doubt and anxiety about ever becoming a mother. What if I am a monster? What if I touch my children inappropriately on accident? What if I become attracted to my children? What if I become attracted to my children’s partners? All of these fucking what ifs. All I’ve ever wanted in life was to be a mom, and I know I would never hurt my children purposefully. But this is breaking my heart and no one around me understands. I don’t know what to do…

Anyone feel like you have ruined your life through giving into ocd compulsions? Or the choices you made in life that led to ocd symptoms getting sparked in the first place? I know healing is very possible, but right now i am remembering so many important moments in my life that have been “robbed” by ocd… :( I know this may continue to happen. The intrusive thoughts. The numb emotions. The constant checking to see if I’m in the present moment, which is exactly what takes me from the present moment. I wish I could go back in time and make different choices so my ocd didn’t flair up and rob important moments in my life that I had dreamed of for so long. Feeling bitter. Have you been where I am right now?

I was obsessing over the feeling of love, whether I knew what it truly was or not. All my life I had only ever seen toxicity. I never really knew what it looked like to be in a healthy relationship. So I was constantly on the watch for the smallest of red flags. Fine tooth comb in hand and picking apart every piece of my relationship. I couldn’t help it, it wasn’t his fault. He was the kindest most true and genuine person I knew. so why did I question my love. Why did I question if I knew what it was. I knew him. I loved him. But why did something in me feel empty, like there was no space in the box that I checked off as love. It was there before, for years and years, and I never questioned it. Until the illness came in like a hot iron pressed against my skin, branding me sick, and twisted inside. I wanted to love without question, with no effort, with ease like I had for so many weeks, months and years before the lighting that is ocd struck me in the chest. Why did I need such certainty? Why did I panic at the thought of not being in love? Love is love. Love is a choice. Love isn’t always a feeling. That’s what has been said to me. But for so many years I was so sure of it. I felt such immense guilt that I questioned such a strong foundation that we had built together. The words Co dependent, and comfortable, floated through my head like a heavy stone sinking to the bottom of my mind. I was tangled up in the rope of the words that came out of my step mothers mouth. I didn’t want these words. Why were they so deeply trained into my head from the moment they bounced of her lips. They ricocheted around my mind for hours that day; “co dependent” “comfortable”. I love him, I said to myself as my chest began to quake with the need to cry. Why is this fear so real, why can’t I stop questioning it. I’m Ill. Or maybe I’m not. It’s ocd. Or maybe it’s not. The first long relationship I’ve had in my life. Five full years of memories, cherished laughter and tears of joy. Hard times and good times, milestones we’ve crossed hand in hand, side by side. Together we never had to face this new journey of adulthood alone. I felt safe with him, like I was never going to be by myself in a world that was so unkind. I hated the ocd, I hated the doubt, I hated the fear. I didn’t want any of it. I practiced telling myself, maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. I don’t love him. Over and over and over. Could it be the reason that something within me didn’t feel right? Could it be the reason I felt anxiety? Or was it truly the illness that Is called my ocd. I hate that it attacks my self confidence, my comfort, my safety, my relationship with the person who is both my best friend and lover built into one. Sure I could do my life with someone else but I don’t want that. Sure I could live by myself for awhile and see what it’s like to be a girl venturing in the world. But I would miss out on the life I’m building now. I want these obsessions and compulsions to go. I love him. But my ocd says I don’t. I hate it.

What was your first signs of ocd as a child. I think mine was confessing but I haven’t heard of many other people with that ..

Does anybody else experience delusional intrusive thoughts? I have a very big fear of developing schizophrenia or becoming delusional. And it seems that a lot of my intrusive thoughts are delusional intrusive thoughts that I fight.

I need help!!!!!!! My daughter continues to come to me at all hours of the talking about her obsessions. It is destroying our family😢. Please help!

Hey guys. I’ve been dealing with Harm OCD for around 3 and 1/2 months now, and it’s been extremely difficult to experience. I’ve had OCD my whole life and some of my family members do as well, one of my cousins actually has the same main subtype as me, but he was diagnosed almost a year ago when I didn’t have it myself. I’ve been going to an OCD & Anxiety Treatment Center the past week and I’m really struggling with the exposures we do there, as well as the ones we do at home. I constantly feel like I’m judging myself and I genuinely feel worthless, like I’m a horrible person to have unwanted intrusive thoughts like these. I feel like it’s so difficult to stay mindful and to not judge any of the thoughts that surface. Those with Harm OCD, have any of you here gone from debilitating OCD to living fulfilling lives? If so, what was the process like for you, if you’d like to share? Thanks and I hope you’re all doing well, or are continuing to improve.

I haven’t google disease’s in a while… but today my oh my I’ve spend the last few hours googling & googling. It just sucks being so paranoid all the time. I wish I was normal. I miss who I use to be. I never use to worry & I just lived my life. Now I pay attention to every little detail & have to replay every single thing in my head… Even if I have a ok day with low anxiety my brain feels like it’s forgetting something & will scan my whole day to find something to be paranoid about. I’m sooo tired of this.

It feels like I’m just in denial. Like I just need to accept it. I don’t want to. I want to have a husband and a babies. I don’t want this. I’m scared. It feels so. Real.

Does anyone else experience perfectionism around their hair? I have dysmorphia about it and am obsessive over the placement of each hair. This seems tied to an obsession with being attractive- or not being "ugly" I guess. I feel shitty saying that out loud, but I'm curious if anyone else has had their vanity be a theme their OCD latches onto? It feels like a big fear. Like I'm afraid I wont be able to look at myself if I percieve myself as "unattractive". I feel like I've heard a lot people emphasize that OCD has nothing to do with vanity and I'm struggling to identify this as OCD because of that.

Does anyone deal with superstitious ocd ? Kinda hard to explain but the past few years I’ve been dealing with it. I went to a psychic and she told me I was going to get married and be with a certain guy by the age I am now. I started dating him and things around working out and I feel like if we break up my ocd makes me think I’m dying. ( I’ve had health issue the last year and my health ocd has been so bad) whenever I hear about the same illness on the tv or someone talking about it it also makes me feel like the universe is sending me a message to confirm it. Anyway me and this guy broke up yesterday now my ocd is triggered making me believe it didn’t work out because I’m. “ dying”

Basically. I’m scared that at some point I will feel no anxiety and ‘give in’ and accept it. I have a really hard time believing I have ocd (because I can’t get diagnosed because of my age) sometimes I feel like I do because I remember the days where I was crying on the floor with how real it felt and I DIDNT want it to be real. I worry that I am in denial and I’m just not accept it. Or that it’s suppressed. Or internalised homophobia. Anything really that means it’s all real. I have my moments where I feel normal again but they don’t last long. I wish I knew if it was hocd/ocd but then again I know I’d doubt it if I was told it was. But then again I feel like hearing a professional say ‘you have ocd’ would mean a lot to me. If anyone feels the same or similar I would love to know (btw reassurance very rarely helps me anymore. I just love knowing if I’m not alone and not going crazy) Maybe maybe not doesnt help. I always spiral more with that but I often use ‘I don’t need to know right now’ and that brings me some relief (not sure if it should but it does)

maybe it's just anxiety, I don't know but for years I've had a horrible worry that I'm still not financially independent and still live with my mum though technically it's normal because I was a student (uhhhh I feel so much shame writing about it...like, what if you all will think that I'm just not mature and simply did not want to come out of my comfort zone for all these college years) so yeah the thing is I'm 23 and working and currently living in a different country alone (!) so seems like the issue is kinda solved right?? )) now I keep getting thoughts like "but it's still too late to become independent!!!!! I should have done it earlier!!!!! it's still wrong that I haven't started working/moved out earlier!!!" and I feel very guilty bc of this sorry if it sounds chaotic, I hope I made myself clear I suffer from perfectionism, and this is one of its manifestations idk if it's OCD or not, maybe just trauma but it sure has been nagging my brain for years and felt like a nightmare bc of guilt and shame I've always thought that going to work and moving out would not change anything because, well.. you know why)) but my brain kept saying that I'm just lazy, immature and irresponsible (even though I've worked on and off since I was 18, mum always welcomed me home, I lived in a dorm since I was 17 and in fact came home for a long period of time bc of covid) fast forward five years - I'm working thousands of kilometers from home (refugee), taking care of myself and ready to send money home any minute and yet here we are)) guilt is still present because I haven't started earlier??????? I'm so tired it's only one of many thoughts

What exactly to false attractions feel like? I was doing good today and I pulled up an article of some new elected politicians and looked a picture of one of them and immediately my heart started racing and I was filled with anxiety. I went straight to trying to reassure myself of attractions to women, previous crushes, and other forms of reassurance. Then I tried to go back to the article to prove I wasn’t attracted, I thought like ERP but all thats done is massively increase anxiety and I feel like im tail spinning a bit.