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Anyone else scared that they don’t actually have OCD, and their relationship is doomed?

Hi everyone, I decided to join this app because I believe I need more support when it comes to being open about intrusive thoughts and how scary it can be to share them. Yesterday I had a therapy appointment and I decided to open up with her about a recent panic attack I had that followed with intrusive thoughts. I rarely experience them now or can mitigate the anxiety that comes from them because I am on medication, but I thought I wouldn’t be judged and felt comfortable opening up about them to my therapist. Following after that, she began to ask mandated reporter questions and I became scared because she seemed to think I would act on the thoughts I’ve had. So despite me opening up with her about them I feel like I can no longer share because people who have never experienced them think i would act on the intrusive thoughts, when in reality I know I would never and have avoided people, places, and things because of them. Intrusive thoughts are debilitating and cause people to question who they are and go into complete panic! And I guess I’m just frustrated because though there are people who understand it’s still very weird for others and it just saddens me.

Hi. Recently I have been alone a lot which has caused me to overthink. My main theme right now is overthinking my intentions behind my actions. I think back to a time when I did something and if I did it with ill intentions or selfish intentions. I think about things I said at a time when I made a mistake and I wondered if I said it just to make myself look better. I’m not sure if that makes sense but I’m wondering if this is an OCD symptom or if I actually did have some ill intentions that I’m remembering. I don’t know what’s going on and my guilt is getting to me.

Does anyone else’s intrusive thoughts just repeat over and over and over again? I have harm ocd and sometimes the thoughts will just be like “K!ll him” over and over and over again. It freaks me out so bad. 😭 maybe I’m just actually horrible and this isn’t ocd. This makes me feel like it’s probably not ocd because this probably doesn’t happen to anybody else.

I get scared when this happens cause last time it was the start of my mental break so I guess you can say I’m digging my way out and making progress. Basically when I think of my SO he doesn’t feel real if that makes sense? It’s so weird and I’m getting scared again but it feels like I don’t know him. I hate this because I’ve spent over a year with him making memories and I love him so why does this happen again?

I guess I’m just really looking for some support. Im not sure if this is allowed, but I need to vent and maybe connect with someone else going through the same thing since I can’t afford the therapy rn. I’m a 22 year old f and I have struggled my whole life with what I think to be some form of ocd. I’ve never felt quite right and I become easily triggered by things that are out of order. I am a very clean person but I’ve always lived in a household with others that didn’t clean up after themselves. When the house isn’t in order, my mental isn’t in order and I will have a meltdown. I hate that because I don’t possibly have enough energy to do it myself plus working overtime, and I also really can’t ask for help bc no one ever cleans the way I do (I know I should be happy with some help, it’s just hard bc I have to do everyt hing right and perfect but I feel like others can allow themselves to slack and I can’t) I have never been diagnosed with anything but I have taken meds for anxiety before and used to have frequent anxiety attacks which would usually end up with me in the hospital. If I’m anxious I’ll start frantically moving things around in my specific order and I feel like I have become and “eggshell” person. I don’t have friends, my relationship is hard to manage bc I’m so triggered all the time and I think I’m always doing something wrong in the relationship. It gets to the point where I get so aggravated I just want to rip my skin off. I know I don’t just have ocd, I feel like I also have some form of personality disorder or derealization, I’ve just been like this for as long as I can remember and I’m not sure how to explain it. I don’t make enough to afford therapy and you guys don’t accept my insurance just yet, but I hope that will be available soon. I’m tired, I need help :(

Hello I recently got diagnosed with OCD and i have episodes where I ask my mother the same questions over and over, trying to figure out why she told me those things (things that she tells me at that moment or it can even be her tone of voice ) and I ask her if she’s mad at me. I could go on for hours asking her the same questions and when she tells me a answer I am still not satisfied with the answer and I ask her the same question again and it gets to the point where she yells at me and when she tries to move to a other room to get away from me I block her and she pushes me away sometimes or she ignores me and to me it makes it even worse when she does that because then I have a other question to ask which is why is shes ignoring me or why did she push me and why she’s yelling at me One day when I was having one of my episodes and she asked me what I wanted from her and I couldn’t tell her because I have no idea what I wanted from her and I don’t know why I do it (How it went) Mom - “What do you want from me?” Me - “I don’t know” Mom - “what do you want from me” Me - “I don’t know” Mom - “Yes you do know if not then you wouldn’t be here asking me questions” Me - “I don’t know what I want from you” (from this point tears were coming out from my eyes but I wasn’t crying) She kept yelling at me and asking me the same question “what do you want from me”( I don’t know if she was giving me the taste of my own medicine or something) but when she was doing that i just looked straight ahead and I kept asking myself what I wanted from her can someone tell me what type of OCD this is or if someone relates

I just can't get.stuff out of my head where it's like what if I did something taboo 4 years ago and don't remember, then somehow it gets public and I get cancelled. Sometimes I feel stupid like what the hell am I thinking but other times I'm panic mode with anxiety. ❤️ How does cancel culture affect ur ocd? No affirmations please 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

I think i have a problem. I need responses plz. I (M20) think there is something wrong with me and I’m mentally obsessing. So first, let’s go way back to high school. I was in this relationship with this girl (I’ll use fake names) her name was Jenna from a different school when i was around 16-17 years old for about a little over a year. It was good but i found myself way too attached, (which i guess that’s how i naturally am in a relationship) and everything was literally perfect in that relationship except for the fact she would get mad at me for calling and texting her literally 24/7. And looking back on it rightfully so i was being annoying. She broke up with me after about 15 months and i think she just lost feelings and the whole calling stuff too and we were young. I was upset of course but obviously now I’m over it that was years ago. So after that relationship i was single for about almost 4 years. I had dating apps in the past & I wanted a girlfriend pretty badly so i found one that liked me her name was Sophia (again, using fake names) and we were like in this crazy honeymoon phase for about 8 weeks but it felt like the realest thing ever. And we started officially dating.Then i kind of started suffering from ROCD, i was scared i was loosing feelings, i was getting thoughts that i wasn’t attracted to her even though i was. This resulted in alot of panic attacks , with and without her present. And the list goes on, it was a really confusing time. So, going into this relationship i had thought about my ‘obsession with calling’ before hand and i figured I’m more mature now that i would not do that and I’ll be able to handle it better. Boy was I wrong. After weeks of dealing with ROCD, all i do is keep calling and calling and calling and calling, sometimes i just want to be annoying for no reason and my OCD would get to me thinking I’m some maniac. So we try our best in this relationship for a couple more months but it was mentally wearing on her because i would just be crying with her a lot and dealing with a lot of stuff. So she broke up with me a couple days after New Years and i was devastated, because all in the all i was still in love with her, it was just that cloud of ROCD that was getting in the way. After she broke up with me, i found myself obsessing more, and to add to it, she kind of just broke up with me and blocked me on everything without really an explanation. (even though i kind of know why she broke up with me) So i found myself calling and calling and calling and calling. I would call from No Called ID, i would buy fake phone numbers from the App Store to call her, i would venmo her saying sorry and all this. This all sounds really bad but it’s all the truth. She ended up threatening me with the police so i stopped. I feel like such an idiot and a weirdo. Now, I’m back on this dating app, and this girl named Jessica (again fake names) tells me to add her phone number, so I’m texting her we had a good convo and then out of no where she blocks me and i try calling her from no caller ID a few times but nothing. I woke up with her saying this. “I’m not sure if that was you calling me from No Caller ID last night, but do not do that again. That is harassment.” Is there something wrong with me? I do suffer from OCD and i take meds for it by the way. But other than this terrible attribute, i feel like I’m a really good guy and I’m good in a relationship if you take that complete away. I feel like any girl that somewhat shows interest in me, i have this obsessive feeling and it sucks i just want to be normal. What can i do to change this? I feel so obsessed i don’t want to feel this way.

I can’t enter my room without being clean and this makes daily life impossible, if I leave the house I take a shower. Also I always wash my hands like a lot and if I touch a doorknob I immediately go wash so I don’t contaminate anything in my room. Please give advice on what to do I am really lost and scared that I won’t be able to enjoy life since I keep my self in my room all day

Studying about religious scrupulosity on my own I came up with an ERP exercise that would involve me making a pact with the devil in thought, as a way to stop the hyper vigilance that I now feel in response to the fear of having a thought of making a pact with the devil. Nevertheless, I can’t seem to get myself to perform the exercise as I feel like that would mean I’m intentionally making a pact with the devil with an intentional thought and not an intrusive one, which would be wrong and I would be doomed because of it. This makes me think ERP for this specific case is wrong and that I should do ACT instead, which from my understanding doesn’t deal with forced exposures like these. Nevertheless, I feel as if I ignore this ERP exercise my OCD will only get worse and I’ll start obsessing about the intention behind the intrusive thoughts. Any thoughts on this? I know this might seem like reassurance seeking but I haven’t spoken to anyone about this.

i keep feeling like something is going to happen to me and i’m scared. i keep having to do things over and over to keep it from happening, but i am tired. this is giving me a headache. i can’t do it anymore. i really can’t tell if the Holy Spirit is warning me or if it is just ocd. i am nauseous.

Whenever I talk with my boyfriend I’m extremely sensitive about anything he says or jokes about our relationship as I have RA/ROCD. He doesn’t know the full extent to how this goes cause I’d like to make sure he doesn’t get worried about what I think about. He made a joke about how he always matches my energy and that I don’t but it’s okay. He’s always a bit more hyper than I am and his libido is higher so sometimes they just don’t match up. This joke caused me to become so quiet and over think like cause in some ways this is true but I don’t think he would joke about it if it really bothered him. I confirmed this with him on the phone and he said he would tell me if this is an actual issue. I’m just scared that a joke like this is like an early warning sign that it’s a bad relationship but I’ve made jokes like that too but when he does it I get super sensitive. I fear I’m getting toxic and I’m never going to let him say anything that isn’t ‘right’ without me making it into a moment where we need to discuss something. I’m just tired and want this to stop.

My OCD is like being forced into a theme park haunted house. On one hand, I know that all the scary things are actors and props and machines. On the other, I'd like to avoid getting scared. Soon enough, I'm convinced that everything inside the haunted house is real and I barely remember that I'm in a theme park and I'm supposed to be having fun. I've lost sight of my life. And it's even more unsettling to be in a haunted house waiting for a jumpscare. If I go somewhere in the haunted house, an actor could come out and scare me. If I touch an unlucky object in my room, there's a possibility of something bad happening. In both instances, I feel stupid for getting scared in the first place. I'm living in a constant state of suspense. I know it's fake, but my body and my brain aren't lined up because I get a physical anxiety response. I just have to remember that haunted houses have exits!

Sometimes I find it crazy how I used to be so unbothered before ROCD. I wonder since it was triggered so quickly if one day I’ll be able to feel how I did before all of this. Now everything that I think or do has to relate back to my relationship. Every Instagram post or thing I say or tiktok I see I wonder, what would he think if I liked this? Do I like this? Does he like this? Is it morally right for us to like this? What if he likes this and it’s not right, what will people think? I’m honestly tired of caring so much and my brain numbs out. It feels so weird to me since I lived most of my life happy and with free. I really want to try and get back to those calm times where I could love him freely. I get scared that I’m stuck this way forever.

I’m 16 years old am I’ve been struggling with ocd my entire life. It started off with compulsive hand washing and touching things until it felt right. I remember being only a few years old with compulsions. When I was 13 the pure ocd kicked in HARD. It was hard for me to do basic everyday things even writing. I went to the doctor and she signed a note for school giving me some extra time to finish tests although I only used it for one semester and haven’t really touched it in 2 years. I talked about my ocd and she immediately shut me down, she said “why are we even talking about this?” Verbatim. It really broke me because I felt like no matter what I would be judged for my compulsions. I know people with ocd tend to get severely judged the rare times we open up about these sorts of things. She referred my family to a child psychologist who misdiagnosed my older sister with anorexia. She doesn’t do anything. I have no trust in this woman and I don’t know any other way to get formally diagnosed to maybe get therapy or medication. I’m too scared to open about any of it to my family. My family knows I have ocd, but not how debilitating it can get.

So I'm trans, or I was pretty sure I was before my first big ocd flare up. When it first started the fear that I wasn't trans and had somehow been brainwashed or motivated by a fetish was my biggest theme and all the other themes i had seemed to stem from it or were related to it in some way. Since starting treatment ive been applying erp techniques to all my other themes and it helped alot to decrease my anxiety about them and help me gain clarity on my actual values and beliefs. But I just ca t shake this one I have to constantly remind myself of evidence and mentally review all the variables around my gender identity. I know it's compulsive but it's the only thing that gives me hope that one day I'll feel like myself again. I know that the more I ruminate on it and mentally check my reactions to certain things the worse it gets. I feel kind of trapped in this cycle

I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I experience a handful of the same, intrusive thoughts regarding who I am and what I offer to the world, and things with my boyfriend. I have been seeking therapy through the university I go to which has been helpful, but my therapist is treating me with only anxiety in mind, which is why I think it’s effects are not longer. During the summer, I cannot use my universities counseling resources, and have been doing digging through this app to help me consider my options for when I need therapy. However, I am still under my parents health insurance. My parents know that I go to counseling, but they do not know that I believe I have OCD symptoms. It is also difficult because I believe that my parents were a huge influence on these symptoms. If anyone has any advice as to how I should go about this with my parents if I were to use this app as a resource for therapy.

How do you practice overcoming these thoughts? I read that accepting, allowing it to exist without interaction can help, but I don’t know how to apply it or how long it can last

Ok so for a little but of background before my ROCD started I had bad health anxiety/ocd, I was super worried I was going to die, but as well, thought my partner was going to die, and was insistent on them getting checked by the doctor, I was so scared to lose them. Once I got answers for my health concerns, it flipped pretty much over night to feelings of him being a stranger to me, our memories didn't feel real and I was very numbed out. 6 months later I'm still dealing with this, and I'm honestly still in shock about it. My question is, now, the relationship doubts are there, but also I'm starting to notice the "worried about him dying thoughts" pop in, which confuses me, because I never ever want to lose him so I understand being worried about his health but then it immediately flips back to, "why do you even care anyway" Is this normal? Maybe the ROCD started because I was scared to lose him in the first place? Has anyone else experienced this weird flip flop in between being scared to lose them one moment, and then back to numbness the next?