tw / self harm i’ve been trying to find a way to post this for a few days but i keep backing out. i have now relapsed back into self harming. i don’t know how else to cope with the extreme feelings i get that come with my ocd and it’s the only outlet that makes me feel better/calms me down. i don’t know what to do. i’m so ashamed and i feel so guilty because everything feels like denial at this point. it makes me nauseous just thinking about it and i can’t stand the sight of myself anymore.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
Well the only thing stopping me to get healed is to accept the discomfort and letting the thoughts pass and accepting them/ not fighting against them. I just realized how much strength it takes to not engage and argue with thoughts
Relationship OCD: What exposures have worked well for you from an ERP perspective if you struggle with this subtype of OCD? I tend to feel the most distress/anxiety when I am in the presence of my girlfriend, as I become super aware of my thoughts and have trouble dissociating from them. With this being said, it is hard for me to find exposures that replicate this when I am on my own so I can practice response prevention. Ideas would be much appreciated. Thanks!
Who do I contact if I was supposed to start therapy tomorrow but my therapist got fired due to the vaccine mandate??? Any ideas?
Okay I know that I probably shouldn't ask this, but how do I really know that it's HOCD (and that I'm not just confused or so)? I've always been only into boys, but now I for like 1.5 years I just can't stop thinking about possibly being lesbian. I had these same thought 3 years ago but then I met this amazing guy, but we stopped talking and later these thoughts came back. I'vr always wanted biological kids and to marry a guy etc, but now I'm so scared that that won't happen if I turn out to be gay. And then on the other hand I'm scared that I'm not actually scared, what if I'm just "faking" it to lie to myself? I can't even look at my best friend anymore without thinking about kissing her and so on - these thoughts used to freak me out but not that much anymore? What if I actully like it? Sometimes thinking about guys I feel weird and my thoughts change to girls, and then I get anxious again. Idk, I don't wanna talk about this with anyone because I'm scared that if I do, I'll realize that I'm in fact gay. Idk what to do, I just want this to stop.
Relationship OCD Based on my past experiences with toxic relationships where I have experienced disloyalty and trust issues, I have carried them into my healthy relationship ( now of two years. )Sometimes I get these obsessive cycles where I just think my boyfriend is going to leave me because of my relationship anxiety and my obsessive thoughts about being hurt emotionally by the relationship. I also worry a lot about his phone even though I have no reason to. (Found out I was cheated on in the past in my exes phone) Does anybody have any strategies to help remove these thoughts or cope with them?
I can’t stand this anymore. I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I feel so sick from all these thoughts & I constantly feel that I’ve done something terrible wrong in the past and I’m going to get in trouble. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stand the thought of not knowing. This is killing me😭
does anyone else constantly try to figure out what how they’re feeling means. It’s not necessarily even intrusive thoughts that i’m trying to figure out the answer too it’s just like if i feel sad about something or overwhelmed or anything like that i feel like i have to figure out why and then it makes me think about it more and more which just makes me more sad. maybe that’s like an ocd theme in itself but idk and it makes me feel worse than i really should
Hey guys. Things are getting rough with my girlfriend. I always ask her the same stuff, and whenever we’re together, we always talk about my ocd because I feel like we need to or she’ll be upset, but it just keeps making her more upset. What do I do? I love her and my ocd is about making sure we’re ok but me having that ocd makes us worse
What do you all do when you have a handful of tricky weeks? I’ve been feeling pretty good, but the last few weeks I have noticed my SOOCD and Pure OCD sneaking in and have ruminated a whole lot more. Just some background: -happily married to my husband with kids. -All types of OCD in my past, but SOOCD has been the theme now for awhile. -definitely having trouble considering the fluidity of the idea of sexuality in general. Also triggered by later in life coming out stories. -my SOOCD has been manageable but lately it’s just been in the background—like a mosquito—just there enough to notice and I’m definitely attaching meaning to the thoughts. Which turns into a cycle of rumination. Argh! - Returning to my ERP exercises. Is this what most people do? Feeling a bit stuck. Not looking for any reassurance just support—sometimes knowing I’m not the only one is a bit of the push I need. It’s just nice to know we all have each other’s backs! 😊❤️
I’m a super romantic and mushy person and I wanted to get a song finch ( custom song) for my boyfriend and My one year. I got through the whole thing of writing down all the things I love about him, etc, and then I got to the checkout page and freaked out. I get nervous that I had made them all up and/or that we’d get this beautiful song then break up later down the road. I can do a good job of maybe/maybe not with the breakup but it is so scary to me to think I might be faking my feelings. Anyone else go through this?
Can obsessing about the samething over and over again make you believe and feel like it’s true? Especially if you obsessed about it for over a year…. Like I obsessed and tested myself about loving my partner… now I get strange sensations and started to believe I don’t love my partner… but I have moments where I know I love him. Clarity moments.
Any words of hope? My sexual orientation OCD has not let up for like a month straight. Every second of every day I am ruminating and thinking to myself I'm such a fraud, my boyfriend deserves better, I'm ruining everything :/ Makes me wanna cry but I have no tears just feel numb at this point. I honestly can't remember not feeling like this and I'm afraid it's gonna last forever.
OCD makes me question all of my decisions to see if my intentions were genuine or evil. Everything I say, do, watch, joke about, look at, read, view, think, everything. I can’t even tell someone I love them without me having a panic attack because I feel like I might be lying and manipulating their emotions. I really hate OCD.
What do I do if I am afraid of overdosing? I take an anxiety med prescribed by my doctor and I am deathly afraid of overdosing on accident. Even though I know I only take one I have to physically “okay, there’s only one pill in my hand” “okay, and I’m putting the one pill in my mouth and swallowing the one pill” and even after I question if I accidentally took more than 1 or even question if I took them at all. I get scared if I might forget that I took my meds, and I take it again something bad will happen such as an OD.
This is a poem/ song I wrote about my struggle with ocd. I’ve been battling this demon ever since high school, I’m not sure I want to do this anymore. I feel a constant propensity towards using drugs to escape this hellscape. I walk outside and am consumed by my mind. The silence is so deafening I be consumed by lies, not a minute goes by, I don’t wish I’d die, but instead I’m walking like a zombie still hanging on to life. Others don’t see me they just see what they want to see, I be kept up in my room 24/7 365 I don’t know how to abide, I sit alone shaking my nerves are rattled my windows stay draping. Don’t start with me or I’ll start scraping, my attitude is whack my since of time is turned all the way back, I don’t sleep I just sit still in the dark screaming internally until my mind goes stark. Wake me and be reminded of a tiger shark, In truth I feel weak based on my passed I never fought back, bullies took what they wanted, still reminisce about a past that didn’t exist, my problems run deeper then this, and I know someone out there goes through it just the same, so I write these lines in a picture frame
Any time I feel any amount of joy, OCD tries to convince me I don’t deserve it. It hurts me to my core. It makes me feel like I’m not worthy of love, of acceptance and of forgiveness. I just want to be able to be happy.
Having a very scary night I was praying and asked for Jesus's holy spirit and the OCD tried to switch out his name for the devil. I know it's OCD and I have been telling God that I ment i want Jesus's holy spirit and God does know my heart so I just have to trust that God is taking care of me. I feel sick however when I was begging God to stay with me I was given a verse. Trust in the Lord God with all your heart lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6 Your feelings are fickle and the devil will try to minipulate them. Do not let him. You are doing so well keep standing in the armour and the light of God let him pave your way. There is no battle he cannot win. I find being in the presence of God calms me. Worship music helps me so much if you search Jesus. (With the full stop) Into Spotify it should come up. Some specific songs that help me are. Broken prayers - piano version By Riley Clemmons Fighting for me By Riley Clemmons Defender By Francesca Battisteli Back to life By Bethel music Scars By I AM THEY. I would love it if you could put your prayer requests Inn the comments ment we can help each other XX.
Tips for dealing with morality/decisions? I recently found something out about a friend from another friend. It distresses me, but I don’t know where to go from here. My OCD is making it hard to make a choice because it’s saying “this should be an easy, black and white choice. You are bad for not instantly getting rid of this person”. I need help figuring out how *I* feel, not how the OCD feels. Does anyone have advice? I feel like utter trash, I won’t lie.
anyone else just feel an overall sense of fear and sadness throughout the day? I find myself tearing up when I think of life before OCD wishing I could go back to before I knew what the content of my obsessions meant or when I think of how those around me aren’t dealing with this while I’m struggling in silence
Been struggling for months. Everyday is a battle, my mind flooded with questions regarding my religion. My boyfriend watched a Marvel movie and my mind just latched on maybe it's wrong, what if we aren't compatible. Maybe God doesn't want us to be together. Maybe I'm more spiritual than him. What if it is wrong? What if I go to hell? I always end up sneakily asking reassurance. Being the loving bf that he is, he just wants me to be happy. But I have so much guilt because I can't seem to get better and the thoughts to not latch on. It gets so exhausting. Mixing faith and ROCD and religion can be extremely difficult... Anyone on any advice? I've been stuck in this pattern for about 2 months. Something small triggers and I just fall right back in. I always end up feeling even further away from God and I start to panic even more.
At my wits end over this "Race OCD" theme. Feeling guilty & not like myself. This all started about a year ago and I dont even understand why it has. I've been really struggling with the taboo theme of "Race OCD" & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally to BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. It's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious when I interact with them, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like WTF, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head and being anxious around BIPOC.
Is it common for intrusive thoughts to make you doubt yourself?
It’s the holiday season and there’s magic on the air; just believe, because no matter how dark things get inside you, around you or both; on the other side of all that darkness, can be/is the twinkling of Christmas lights on a magical winters night ✨🎄✨ #IfYouJustBelieve #HarmOCD #PureOCD #PerfectionismOCD
We’re all going to make it through to the other side! Proud of everyone! 💗💗
It's so hard trying to figure out compulsions that you are doing unconscious... I think I'm trying to figure out more of those unconscious compulsions ( feeling checking, telling my brain what I rly want, nitpicking my partner etc). What is the best way to figure out your unconscious compulsions?
Today my coworker made a comment about OCD that pissed me off so bad. He was like I’m more OCD about being neat than you. I’m like. It’s not a ducking action word bro. I didn’t say that but I was so ready to burst. He doesn’t know I have ocd so I can’t really blame him but !!!
I LITERALLY CANNOT ESCAPE BRO!! I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE’S WATCHING EVERYTHING I DO AT ALL TIMES!!
constantly checking your feelings can really mess you up
Thank you mum for believing me. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me and for taking the weight off my chest. I'll always tresure our deep and open conversations. Thank you for always being "the person" who I know I can rely on when things get tough. Thank you for letting me vent what I couldn't do with anyone else. Thank you for not having changed the way you look at me. Thank you for not letting me cry alone.
I hate always questioning who I am. I always get so close and then something conflicts what I thought and then I spiral again. I wish I could understand my own mind.
How does everyone practice acceptance? I want and need to start accepting that I can feel sexual arousal to certain thoughts of sexual acts (lesbian sex/oral). It’s something I feel like I was always ashamed of feeling arousal/turned on for but I need to accept that it can be arousing but have no meaning behind it. My hocd makes me think it MUST mean I am a lesbian. My erp is good, my anxiety has gone down, I just need to practice acceptance of this and I’m hoping it will help me in the rest of my recovering and then help me in my own sex life as well and I won’t feel as anxious or avoid sex with my bf due to certain thoughts that come up especially when arousal/orgasm comes after I have an image or thought.
What do you all do after you are finally over an obsession but ur exhausted, sad, and lonely? What do you do to feel better? **I’m not asking for reassurance on an obsession-just need tips on how to get over negative emotions once an obsession has stopped. Please delete this if it goes against guidelines!
i really don’t feel okay and i feel like nothing will ever feel okay again
Is anyone else having a really difficult time with their Real Event and False Memories? I’m having a horrible night right now. I’m terrified, terrified of “what if”. This is horrible, I don’t know what else to do.
Your past self forgives you, your future self awaits you, and your present self needs you.
I used to enjoy sex with my husband. But thanks to SO OCD, I wish sex was never invented. Anything sexual is very triggering for me. And I even get intrusive thoughts during sex and usually right at the worst moments and it completely kills my mood and confuses me and makes me hate having sex. My poor husband. I want to satisfy him but sex is also very triggering. I hate OCD.
How do you set good habits without them turning compulsive?
Is there anyone with Racism themed OCD? I've been really struggling with this taboo theme & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally to BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like WTF, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head and being anxious around BIPOC.
Can someone explain to me why we stay stuck in our minds? I would really like to be completely out of my head and able to enjoy life but keep getting stuck. I want to do really well at my new job and I want to be normal around people again so I can do whatever I want when I want and not feel uncomfortable in my own body smfh. I know it’s baby steps but man I really want to enjoy life to the fullest again.
TW/ suicide Guys i feel like taking my own life. I’m really feeling so frustrated and shameful about my OCD. it makes me feel hopeless that there is no cure for OCD. I had a late onset of OCD happen last year and it really caught me off guard. It’s been a very dark, draining process... I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m sincerely feeling like I won’t get better because there’s no cure for ocd. I’d rather die than live with this for the rest of my life.
if you ever actually say you're irrational ocd worry out loud you realize how actually insane it is. really makes you take a step back and be like....??? this is what's gotten in the way of me having a good day?
Can you all help me with a fixation I’ve been having on and off for a while now tbh :( relationship OCD related I think? So when I was a teenager.. I had a huge crush on this boy. He ended up telling me he had a crush on me too but we never dated and nothing ever happened. I was so young and shy and nothing ever came of it. But I always thought we were similar and good match personality wise.. I was just too nervous to ever pursue it. As the years went on we were always shy around each other and kind but I could sense we just had a connection but nothing came of it. Then after a while I had a boyfriend who I am comfortable with and have been with for many years. I completely forgot about the first guy. At this point, I haven’t seen him or spoke to him in YEARS. I am still with the same partner, and we’ve had our ups and downs but we are so happy together . Recently , kind of randomly, the other guy popped back into my head and my mind fixated on it and has been for a while. I am in a long term relationship and believe he is too.. yet I still fixate on it, wonder if he thinks about me etc, even though I’m happy with my partner … I find myself thinking about him a lot but it’s odd Bc I haven’t seen him and barely know him now Bc we were teenagers and growing up.. but I just always feel like he just got me and really liked me. I think I also have some kind of guilt.. because I never pursued it or talked to him more even though I knew he really liked me and I liked him. All these feelings came back up even though I’ve grown up more and am in a RELATIONSHIP… so then I feel guilty from that too. What do I do?? Why I am I soo stuck on thinking about this boy …
People who suffer from OCD are the kindest and strongest people that I've ever met
9 days without reassurance. Lets see if i make it day 14. Can ither people also do this ? Then there will be more positivity on the app
spent the day with my brother today and then i began to worry about the fear of having a crush on him! i guess i care about what he thinks of me (as i do with most people) and have always wanted both my brothers to think i’m cool or whatever. but, since i also feel this way with guys i like, i get so scared that i like him. it makes me so anxious and nauseous. i’ve had incest ocd with both brothers now. it’s just horrible. it’s more the fear of romantic attraction than sexual attraction.
Lately, every time that I fight with my partner i started to lose feelings and lose hope that things can get better. Every time I lose a little bit more of trust, and every time is more difficult for me to be normal with him. He keeps changing his mood, we spend day togheter 24 hours, don't want to say goodbay and really enjoy it, the next day he ignored me or answer really short and don't want to talk with me. If we go out togheter, we would have fun and be really great again. He said that he can have moments when he want to be alone, but at first he was super interested and that never happend!! We talked but nothing changes! I have rocd, and for me this behaviour is really a problem! I always think that it means that he don't love me anymore, and that I shouldn't be with him! Every time it is harder and harder, because I can get over my tought, but not over his actions! Now I think I am at my limit, can't deal with this anymore... I am soo close to broke up with him... Do you guys have some tips?
Does anyone else feel like especially with harm ocd like they are actually these bad people and want to act on their thoughts. It’s a very scary feeling because when I look at myself I have so much disgust cause it feels like Im actually this person. It feels scary cause it makes me feel like this is who I truly am and get sad because I feel like a disappointment especially to my parents. I hate this feeling and I miss when ocd first started and felt simple. The more i have ocd the more confusing it is and the more I feel like I’m this horrible evil person.
Someone talk to me please, my insides are freaking out. I even opened up to my mom yesterday, and she is helping me find a therapist although she is clueless about ocd and depression but she is supporting, I dont feel motivated at all bc i think my thoughts are true and I have to accept them. Someone please see my last post.
what’s one good thing that’s happened to you this week (or one good thing you’ve done)?
I keep having stomach pain and get sweaty when I meet other people, my brain says confess to random people so they know everything bad about your past how can I stop this
Anyone with SO OCD please respond. Do you find your brain tells you to do things, things you actually really don’t want to do but then it convinces you that you did all along because why would you be thinking it? Like I was talking to someone, a female, and my brain went “kiss” and I didn’t want to, like at all. I didn’t feel anything for that thought in a way that would tell me I’m into women but I still had the though so now I’m scared well that means you did. I just wanna know if anyone else goes through this
One thing that I don’t know about my HOCD is I have these intrusive thoughts. However, I don’t have much anxiety anymore I’m still worried about it, but I don’t have as much anxiety as before. I don’t know what’s going on is this mean that the coping skills are working, or what?
Is it normal before doing an exposure to feel a lot of anxiety but when doing it the anxiety isn’t there? A fear of mine when doing exposures is that I may like them. This is why I’ve been holding back on doing them but I want to get better so I’m trying but when the anxiety isn’t present I fear that I actually like these thoughts. Does anyone else relate.
How do people with pure O handle rumination? I find that I will be doing anything with people and just be sitting there not enjoying myself when I go places and do things and can’t even engage in conversation because the thoughts are in the back of my head or I’ll be going through the same checking, thoughts loops during anything that I do that I can’t really enjoy myself. Anyone else ?
I can’t seem to feel okay. I just tesselate between depressed and anxious. I can’t focus on anything lately. I have lots of stuff I need to get done in a short period of tine, but I’ve tried and tried again to focus and I’m just to depressed and anxious. Now I can’t even bring myself to try.
I’m scared to to an exposure script for my harm ocd. I’ve been recently triggered by the news and how the media says that these individuals planned out their violent acts and I fear that by doing a script in a sense I’m like them. I’m also scared cause my ocd is telling me what if I like this and then this isn’t ocd.
Does anyone else have a lot of things on their past that they constantly worry about? I feel like no one would love or accept me if they new what I did. I don’t even know if I should report myself to the police, I feel like I have ruined my entire life there is no point in continuing my life, I don’t deserve to be alive anymore
I never know how to explain this and idk if it’s ocd but it’s been happening with hocd I think. Do you guys ever make up scenarios in your head to try and figure out who you like but the lightning always has to be bright? Idk but it’s like if it’s in the dark it doesn’t feel right and you have to rethink the scenario but this time in good lighting? I think I’m going crazy or I’m so in denial I’m making myself crazy
A Powerful Realization I have come to the realization that the lessons we can learn from OCD can be priceless. That usually people with OCD are kind and insightful. That the fact that we get disgusted with certain thoughts it's proof that we aren't and we will never be in agreement with them. Which tells me that we are not our thoughts! Even when they feel so intense we are not them and they are just thoughts. We are becoming more resilient people. People with more understanding. People that understand what is like to suffer. Which can makes us more empathetic towards others. And one more thing. We don't need fixing! We aren't bad or broken. We just have a condition that's difficult to handle sometimes. So when we think: "if I could just stop thinking about this I will be ok" is a lie because we are ok. We were ok all along. What I mean is that we aren't bad or horrible or disgusting because of certain thoughts. We just need to realize it in the middle of a thousand intrusive thoughts that we are good, valuable, worthy and amazing individuals. Yes, all of us! So let us not be ashamed and covered in guilt. What we need is Love manifested in patience and kindness towards others but also, and very important, to ourselves. So to all my brothers and sisters that have OCD you are stronger than you think. Let's not give up. Let us be compassionate towards ourselves as we are towards others.
i’m constantly questioning my intentions and actions...
People i did like a ten online quiz about if i have ocd they say I have it is this true??? and how can i know if i have ocd? AND PLAEASE DON’T TELL ME TO GO TO THERAPY BECAUSE I’M IN GODDMAN IRAQ
i feel like all I’m doing is convincing myself and I’m so tired of it, like I don’t know who I am anymore or just I fear I will become a monster or I am a monster, they say fearing this much means you aren’t a monster but is that really true I have thought of so many things but I can’t control them but how does one live amongst them it gets hard but push forward I guess
I was about to sleep an hour ago... But then i woke up after 15 minutes.... My heart rate is racing... I can feel each and every heartbeat... I feel like I need to puke and I also feel hungry... I feel like I can't breathe properly(it feels heavy).. I feel like I want to cry too .. man this sucks so much /: I just wanted to sleep... Now I am scared to go back to sleep cause of this... All of sudden I'm scared that I will die in my sleep.
My ocd is gaslighting me and distorting my reality so bad. I don't know what's more likely or less likely to happen. Everything just feels so likely to happen. I can't differentiate between my own judgment or if it's just my ocd talking. I can't move forward and make decisions because I don't know which ones are my real actions and which ones are just driven by my obsessions. I feel like every single action I take is a compulsion. I don't see myself anymore, I have no distinction between the real me and my ocd taking control of me. I don't know what to do or what I want to do because I've always let ocd choose what's best for me. I don't know if I still can make my own decisions, if it's always ocd doing all the decision-making for me.
As an excercise, I am beginning to visualize my ocd like Naruto visualizes the nine tailed fox. It cycles through themes and intrusive thoughts until one sticks and I give in by performing mental compulsions. I picture my ocd like the spirit of the nine tailed fox, confined in a cage in my mind. Whatever it throws at me, whether during exposures or in vivo, no matter how convincing or cunning it may seem in the moment, I refuse to let it out of its fetters despite its begs and pleas (I refuse to perform compulsions despite feeling intense anxiety). I will talk to the fox through the bars of the cage until it better understands its place in my mind. I am in control, and right now the fox is an overprotective nusance, so behind bars it shall remain until it learns to calm down. Take this metaphor with a grain of salt, but for me it has made my battle with ocd feel like less of a battle and more like working through a dysfunctional relationship with a part of my mind that needs more love.
Why does OCD make me feel like I’m actually going crazy? Like I feel so lost right now in this world but mostly in myself? Although I have a therapist I question and fear that what if I’m the only one who’s not curable? I suffer from harm ocd and it has made me believe that I’m this horrible person and that my fate is to commit horrible crimes. I feel so lost and feel like I’m going crazy does anyone else relate. I just want to wake up from this bad dream!
I’m not even attracted to people. Like in Highschool I would have massive crushes but I don’t even have a drive to be attracted to guys anymore. Like I’m just numb. I’m talking to this one dude and he’s super nice but like I just can’t like him. My mom made jokes about me becoming a nun and I thought what if but I really think it’s ocd. In Highschool I didn’t really have ocd and now that it controls my life I just am numb. I don’t wanna be numb I wanna feel again but I’m scared to feel again. I’m scared of emotions, I’m scared of feeling again and going back into a deep depression. It’s been like that for a while but now my attraction is non existent. I can’t say I’m asexual but like I do have a severe case of OCD.
One thing I try to remember each day is - “No matter what you’ll question the answer you get. So inevitably, you DON’T need an answer. But you need to accept any possibilities to the question.” And remember that accepting the thoughts isn’t agreeing with them. But you’re letting them be there. Because that thought is just a thought, it won’t hurt you. How you respond is what can hurt you. Accept the thoughts as thoughts, you don’t need an answer. You can handle not knowing💛
The fear of being arrested is my latest obsession: I'm convinced pornography i looked at in the past will get me in trouble but my friend and my dad's friends have done the same things and they're fine. It's both shameful and fearful and doesn't ever let go and my stomach and my chest are so sore
I wish there was a movie about OCD that a lot of people could relate to.. didn’t find one yet
Does anyone else’s OCD involve feeling like you have to process something in your mind over and over again until it feels just right like you processed it so that you really grasped the thought or something. For example, I could be wondering what time it is so I check my phone as anyone would. But then, even tough I know my mind did understand what the time was the first I checked it my mind is telling me like “oh re check the time so that you can really FEEL that your mind is processing the thought of knowing what it is.” And this can involve a lot of other random stuff like feeling like I have to rewatch a part of a movie for instance, as I’m already watching the movie, to fully understand and enjoy the movie even though I know my mind d did understand it or whatever. Or it can even be me focusing too much on a certain word after I said or or read it or heard it and now my mind is telling me “oh but do you really understand what that word is?” Like it almost feels as though I don’t understand English at least for that one word and so I have to momentarily go over it again and again in my mind until my mind feels as though it processes it so the meaning “clicks” in my mind and everything feels right. It’s so annoying and honestly brings stress that is annoying as heck. So does anyone else also have this as a part of their OCD? Just curious
Hi, I'm feeling kinda lost with my false memory. I guessed that's kind of the whole deal about it hahahah. But i would really appreciate knowing some of the symptoms if anyone wanna share. I'm aware it's different for everyone but just to give me so clarity in the subject. Mine for example its connected with a real event, but there's a part of the "memory" that i don't remember, so my ocd made me ruminate for like 2 years now, about what happened in those minutes that i don't remember (obviously the major fear its harming o raping someone)
Does anyone else worry that they’re shaving years off of their life because of all the stress and anxiety
Does knowing you have OCD ever make you feel more stuck? Fixating extra on things because “it’s my OCD”
I’m not doing hot mentally right now and I’m right in the middle of finals season at my college. My real event OCD is going so so so SO CRAZY. I just feel that it’s inevitable that my past mistakes will come back to haunt me and take everything I’ve worked for and everything that I have been given away from me. It’s hard to not feel like my life is over. I feel like a terrible evil horrible failure of a human being and like I don’t deserve anything that I’ve ever been given. I don’t know what to do or how to get through this. I have therapy tomorrow but I need it now. Why does my OCD get bad at the worst times possible. I wish I could take back my mistakes. I know they weren’t big mistakes in the grand scheme of things like I didn’t hurt anyone but I can’t truly can’t let any of it go.
please i need tips for resisting compulsions
There's one thing I never discussed before now, the Core of my Beast OCD. I didn't realize it until I lost a good deal of my life to it. Security has always been at the root of everything I thought or did. I know the phrase " Living with uncertainty " I am slowly getting there. Today I am doing the YBOCS again as suggested by my Phycologist, I will hope for at least a 2 point drop, my prior score was 28. I battle myself daily , ERP is helping, I took a step backwards lastnight and I really think I need to reassess my mental preparations for the day.
Tips for maintaining a job with debilitating OCD?
How do you do ERP? I'm not asking generally, but rather how do you, the person reading this, do ERP? I'm at the point where I'm trying to work out how to do ERP for myself (largely self-directed as I don't see my psychologist more than once every few weeks), and I'm trying to get an idea of what it looks like on a practical level. Do you try and do ERP every day? Multiple times a day? How long do you spend on each exposure/session? Do you do ERP at the same time every day, or do you change it up? What do you do after you've done an exposure, do you do any self-care once the exposure is finished? I see things online saying that it can take upwards of an hour for distress to decrease when doing an exposure, and I'm wondering what are you allowed to do during that time? If the goal of ERP is to sit with the distress, do you literally just sit there for an hour doing nothing until the anxiety goes down? That's a long time to sit doing nothing but feel anxious, especially if the goal is to do this every day. Right now I'm struggling with implementing ERP into my routine. I currently do ERP sporadically, and not on any kind of schedule. I'm struggling to find exposures that distress me sufficiently, and when I do find something I'll still find myself feeling anxious hours later even after I thought I'd acclimatized. I'd really appreciate hearing from other people so that I can get an idea of what good ERP looks like in practice.
How do you help a teen who refuses help and gets very angry when you mention her OCD. If we leave her alone and do not mention it, yet give into her accommodations, she is fine. Seems perfectly happy. However, when we bring up the subject and try to work on things she turns into a totally different person…shouting, angry, disrespectful, talks about running away. The accommodations she needs are destroying family life for our other children so we definitely need to work on things but to keep the peace we default to giving in and walking on eggshells. Medication is not in the picture as taking it triggers her OCD She believes it might make her OCD worse or send her to hell(part of her scrupulosity) or make her feel horrible so she refuses meds altogether. Thank you so much! This is absolutely so incredibly difficult. 😢
Realising how important sufficient sleep is in keeping compulsions at bay
Hey guys so i wanted to see if this could possibly be ocd or maybe something else idk lol and im not trying to like get reassurance km just curious cuz i’ve never thought about this until now. So my whole life especially recently since i’ve moved to college, i always analyze whether or not i fit in with people. I’ve always been pretty hard on myself my whole life aboit feeling different than my friends or just feeling like i don’t understand how everyone can just be themselves so easily and not anxious or how i think people are just more likable than me. i don’t know if that makes any sense, but i feel like i’ll hang out with a group of girls and then afterwords i’ll be like why do i feel like i wasn’t the same as them or why do i feel like they’re better than me etc. just constantly trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why im different then them. I think that may have been ocd itself or maybe not im not sure. recently i’ve been struggling with trans ocd and my mind often likes to think back to that and how my whole life i’ve kinda worried about how i felt different than all the other girls . it scares me cuz it makes me think that maybe i really am not a girl and i just haven’t realized it until now. but now im realizing that those worries from my whole life might have just been ocd to begin with. idk if any of this makes any sense and im just rambling on and on but im just curious to see what u guys think
Does anyone avoid their favorite music to listen to because of OCD? I've been dealing with strong intrusive thoughts from trauma and I tried listening to one of my favorite songs just to clear my mind only for it to remind me of the situation..now I've been avoiding not just music, but anything nostalgic that puts me at ease because I don't want it to be associated with the new memories. It's been eating me for months to be quite honest. I don't know if it's just me.
Told my friend I might be trans. She said you could be am I was happy someone understood and possibly accepted me. But I feels weird I have so much doubt. Was it OCD in the first place? I just started panicking again. That I was lying to myself the whole time. Maybe I am trans. I still don’t feel gender dysmoria my mind was convince my name has been Stephanie instead of Steve. Im so lost was I just scared my parents would hate me? Why don’t I feel happy that I could be trans this is so weird.