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I feel like my OCD is at this phase of being calmer again. The phase where it's not too bad yet isn't gone. I'm even doing better with fighting this ritual where when my mom coughs, I cannot be near her for a while. It used to be where I would go to my room or somewhere else for like 20 minutes, it's now down to at least 5, which is wonderful. Besides all of that, my anxiety is sky high though, mainly due to school.
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality" - Senaca
you have to know that you are allowed to forgive yourself for your fears. I know it feels like you aren’t. But truly you are allowed to forgive yourself. This is what I’m trying to do and it’s helping. A lot.
no idea if this is a theme, but i told someone a lie while i was drinking (that something happened on a different day than it actually did) and now i’m trying not to retreat, google about lying, delete all social media, etc. because i don’t want to taint other people’s lives for being a liar….maybe some kind of morality theme?
Being out in public places isnt helping. I see all these couples holding hands and stuff and I just dont feel It, I dont feel like having a Gf, or even wanting to talk to women nor can I imagine having a gf. Im not feeling anything!!! I never talked to or hung out with females before ocd so I dont know If I wouldve thought this back then too or if this is a product of Hocd. Im sure I wouldve liked talking to women back then but know dont anything. Smh :(
my ocd is got worse again and school starts in 2 days which is gonna make things difficult for me. i am just so fucking frustrated and tired. i tried to resist the urge to go on this app bc i feel like it’s reassurance but i just have to rant. i have been fighting for so long and i feel like this is never going to end. i’ve been rly trying. earlier this month i thought i was getting better but it just went to shit again. i feel so guilty and disgusted w my ocd obsession like why did it have to be those type of intrusive thoughts. like why me. ocd is literally the worst and sometimes i just feel hopeless.
Pocd is the worst. All OCD. And it's like we have to just ignore what it's saying. So hard.
Who here has played papa games on kizi when they were kids If you don’t know papa games were like “papas pizzeria, papas taco Mia, all those games 😭
Guys - STOP talking back to ocd. Trust me. It works. Your ocd is a bully, if you talk back and show weakness it will inevitably get bigger and more difficult to argue with.
More than anything in the world I wish I could just STOP thinking about it. To be able to watch a show or read a book and go on social media imagining scenarios or debating whether or not I’m a lesbian. Just to be able to stop thinking about it I would literally trade anything.
does anyone else here ever get the urge to confess their ocd? i haven’t had it in like a year but i saw a tik tok that said “we all have something to hide.” and i got anxious at that and felt guilty that i don’t tell my parents everything about my ocd. I stopped and reminded myself, my mental health IS MINE! i shouldn’t have to tell anyone if i don’t want to unless it could cause harm to me or someone else! keep that in mind everyone!
Question? Is if EVER ok to seek reassurance? Both of my current obsessions are things I could seek professional opinions/reassurance about. I feel like I’m drowning. I just feel so bad and useless
a bit of help or insight would really br appreciated i really feel bi. i am trying to ignore it but like i would be daydreaming about flirting with a guy for example and then my mind replaces it with a girl and i feel like i would do that and would be okay with it and like it's normalized in my head (i don't mean it in a homophobic way). i just feel like i would and now it's making my stomach slightly uneasy even though i have been doing great for a month or so. i really don't want to engage with thoughts and i keep on dismissing them and ignoring them when they come up but i just feel like doing so reinforces the feeling of being in denial. is this ocd's last trick at trying to get me back in the loop or am i really in denial??
Any tips on dealing with real event ocd?
There’s this really pretty girl who I want to look like but then I kinda want her to be my big sister idek why but my brain tells me I have a crush on her and it’s stressing me out.. as well my belly is getting butterflies which might be bc I’m anxious cos every time I look at this girl I don’t get butterflies apart from now, helppp
Really helpful article that I read to balance my perspective on intrusive thoughts! https://innerspacetherapy.in/intrusive-thought-guilt-ocd/
Why do I now struggle to tell the difference between my intrusive thoughts and my actual thoughts? I feel like the line is so blurry now and I have no idea who I am 😔
anybody here has tell their parents about their OCD? if so, how much did you tell them and any advice on how to explain it to them? I want to tell my mom but i’m scared of how she’ll react and idk if i’m gonna be able to explain it well, I just wanna tell her I have OCD i don’t plan on telling her my theme (sorry for my english btw)
I’m in such despair.. I feel like my anxiety is so intense I can’t see let alone concentrate and do a task. Happiness is out of the question, I feel so alone.
How do I stop automatically doing compulsions😞 like I’m trying to accept uncertainty but it’s like my brain can’t handle it so it automatically thinks of reasons/events of why I can’t be a pedo and I can’t stop telling myself “don’t worry you’re not”
Does anyone’s ocd like say “I want to do that” as an intrusive thoughts instead of “what if I do that” it makes it so much more confusing
anyone have any cute anime I could watch to calm down when my ocd is bad?
It's been a tough few days but I want to commit to my recovery.. A few reminders in case anyone needs it: - Do what will feel best later(not giving into compulsions) and not what will feel best now(relieving the anxiety by doing compulsions - this will only feed the OCD). - Whenever the urge to do a compulsion feels to strong: choose to Delay it instead. Delay by 5 minutes...10...15 minutes...you might then feel you don't need to do it and you learn to tolerate longer periods of distress. - You don't need to analyze, solve, revisit this thought. You can handle the uncertainty. - Be kind and gentle with yourself. You can always start again anytime I believe in you Allie
Ive been isolated at home with these thoughts for more than a year except going to work where I never really talk much. Now my fams visiting and we are going on outings everyday. Being depressed isnt helping bc I have no energy so I have to force myself to do things. Now being in the outside world all of a sudden feels different, I feel different, my self esteem, social anxiety have worsened 10x. I dont feel any attraction to women. Thinking about being in a relationship with a girl is giving me a ick feeling idk where Its coming from but I hate It. I feel as If Im a gay guy checking women out, ughhh. I used to be so normal. God, what is happening. Id try to do therapy but I dont think this is ocd so why even try.
Does anyone else wish the idea of sexual attraction and anything sexual just never existed?
To all my friends out there who have POCD, ZOCD, or any sort or sexual OCD, my advice to you would be to stop watching pornography all together. Watching pornography increases the amount of sexual thoughts that come into our head on the daily.
I have a question. When I was younger (like, maybe 10, 11, 12) I remember one night looking at a video of lesbians kissing (I mean y’all I spelled it lezbian that’s how young I was) i remember having a groinal response. I’m pretty sure that that day in school, someone mentioned gay and lesbian people and I had no clue what that was. So I think that’s why I looked it up. I never watched it again after that night, had never had any sexual questioning, and knew I was heterosexual. I was in LOVE with so many fictional male characters and have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years next month. Fast forward to now, I am suffering with HOCD. And my mind is telling me that me watching that video forever ago was actually me being a lesbian and I just didn’t realize it. Does anyone know the correlation between these two things? Not really reassurance seeking, mostly seeking information because I genuinely do not know if watching lesbians making out once as a kid means I was a lesbian, just didn’t know it. Thanks.
This week has been really rough. I did my intake to start erp on Tuesday and I don’t know if that’s why I’m ramped up even more than I was (which was already bad) I’m currently typing this in between throwing up from anxiety/panic. It’s so debilitating and I feel awful. I haven’t even eaten today so just throwing up liquid. Gah. I’m so close to help but I’m doing so poorly right now
Can you feel false arousal in a bad dream or when you wake up from a bad dream? I’m so scared
Sorry for posting so much. My world has been flipped upside down. Ive completely changed or realized or whatever. No attraction to women and constant arousal to gay thoughts and an urge to to stuff. Its ridiculous. And I dont even know If I hate these thoughts or not, or want them to go away or not. I hope I end it all soon, Im so mentally and physically gone. Ending it is the only thing that will free me from my worries.
Does anyone else absolutely hate yourself for not being able to feel the way you want to about your partner? My partner is a great guy and super supportive, but I just don't feel anything other than anxiety and I hate myself for it. I want to love him but feel like I can't. Anyone able to relate?
Ocd can attack dreams right? I’m scared that it means something because I had a bad dream about my mom and it’s freaking me out. I don’t want it to be real…
Sexual orientation OCD is absolutely exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be content or at peace again. This disorder makes it really hard to do one of my favorite things- be a reader and writer... because everything you read or write can be a trigger, especially with how far we've come in America to give voice to the lgbtqia+ community. I love how much representation there is in creative writing, I just hate how much it triggers my soocd and makes me double down on myself over and over and over again. :/
Ugh i feel like I’ve posted about this a lot but I’m just so confused rn. This was my ocd experience at first: - intrusive thoughts - anxious a lot - crying every night - seeked reassurance a lot and was able to be reassured that I wasn’t what I feared but this didn’t last too long - knew that I wasn’t what I feared but my brain would still tell me that I was And this is my experience now: - depressed - numb/feeling “off” - guilt and shame - feel like I’m faking everything - not feeling like myself - feeling detached from everything and reality - not knowing what’s true anymore - reassurance doesn’t work anymore - feeling like I am what I fear I don’t know what’s happening but why do I feel like ocd became reality😞 I hope I get out of this
How can I accept uncertainty about my one obsession when everytime triggers pop up they feel real and like wants :( it gets so hard to tell what is real :(
So I have developed a new obsession due to trying to stop another. Most of my obsessions/compulsions revolve around the number 4, and in trying to break those, I now have an obsession that I must avoid the number 4 at all costs. Same with any number divisible by 4. Any advice?
Does anyone have resources for spouses who support someone with OCD? Podcast, links, blogs, articles, etc
The over analyzing to see if I’ll get a groinal response for my SO-OCD is giving me a headache. I know they say to not check yourself and that if you do get a groinal response is to just let it be and tolerate it and it’ll eventually go away in the future, but it’s so damn hard. I’ve asked in the past before on how to get rid of it and they said just that as what I stated to tolerate it and don’t give it attention. But can someone please link me to a video of a survivor from groinal response and what he or she did to end it.
Okay... now I can’t tell if my ocd has latched to my friend bc now it feels like I’m attracted to her body and it’s making me feel weird and like my abuser bc it feels like I’m lying to myself like he was with me bc he did towards me and making me feel sensations and now I have I have fear what if I start feeling it’s okay to think the things he thought about me.? And I say them to a child or if they develop :( I’m scared but I just wanted to type this out here bc it makes me feel better but don’t give me reassurance 😭 so yeah phew That was hard
just need to vent. people are weird and they ask backhanded questions. i sit with my friends at a table in a class. some kid at my table asked me if i liked "boys in dresses" and i panicked and said yes sarcastically. but i don't think my friends caught onto my sarcasm. mind you - i'm gay & not out of the closet. i have ocd but i also obsess about social situations and it's not exactly the best thing for my mental health. i'm just worried that they're going to spread rumors about me "liking boys in dresses" saying yes to that question. i also think it'll warp their view of me. i wish i would've clarified but i just panicked and sat there and couldn't wait for a subject change. ironically i don't actually find boys in dresses attractive... but it's whatever. i suck at handling social situations and i wish i would've handled the problem better. i just feel like i gave a dead giveaway and now everyone thinks i'm gay. it sucks because that's a self declaration i want to have for myself - not by other people. being outed to the whole school doesn't sound like a fun thing. my ocd keeps replaying the event over and over and trying to get me to fix it. but the moment's passed. and i hate myself for it. i'm planning on coming out soon ish anyways. it just sucks that i let it slip that easily.
Woke up from a nap to an ocd attack, anxious and very numb depressed state of mind, my fam wanted me to take them to the beach, It was so tough even getting out of bed at first. I locked myself in the bathroom mustered all the energy I had and went. Got there and was triggered by many guys, I constantly had an urge to do stuff with them (Non Sexual) or be close to them. Something I never felt for women even, It was a weird fearful feeling. And It felt like I just wanted to do it but had to stop myself. It even felt like I was "liking" the thoughts ? I wasnt anxious at all, I think depression was overpowering the ocd symptoms? Or maybe I am just gay. I felt no attraction to women at all which made me very disheartened, Its like theres a veil or a blockage in my brain. Anyways, I accepted myself as gay this morning but I dont know, I just want to feel somewhat straight again and feel like I can like girls and have relationships with them. I want this ick feeling towards girls to go away its so intrusive and I hate it with a passion. Time at the beach felt ok I guess, Im still numb so didnt really feel many emotions or felt like I was actually conncected to myself. But yeah. Any advice or Opinion Please?
*TRIGGER WARNING* So I watched a video about the definition of "I" and it triggered me so bad. It talked about how the body doesn't need "us" to function but we need our body. I'm freaking out thinking that I'm not who I think I am and I keep ruminating trying to figure it out. I keep thinking my outer appearance doesn't look like how my brain thinks I look if that makes sense. I'm just flustered.
I am having a really hard time with POCD like I get so scared and downright very anxious about and I don’t know what is real or not real. Like it scares me if I am lying to myself and I actually am I pedo. I just want to never think these thoughts or whatever again. Any tips from people who are far along there journey in this section of OCD? Please help with tips and advice.
Can y’all pray for me I’m struggling so much and losing myself
Anything you think or feel doesn’t have to be real. That’s right. Even if you are very sure that, “Oh my god I’m thinking it and feeling something so it must be true!” It’s not. Your brain is so fixated on not feeling that way, that it begins to, you guessed it, feel that way. Whether you think you did something bad to someone, you think something bad will happen if you don’t fix this one thing, you think you did something in the past and now your whole life is ruined, it’s ocd causing you to panic over nothing. Especially if you believe it to be true. You’re not a special case of actually being a bad person. The only crime you’ve committed is not giving yourself a break. Because you deserve it.
I need help My ocd is entirely about my past sexual checking compulsions being “exposed”
hi everyone. i found out that i have ocd recently. i went to different psychiatrists and they never told me that but now when i think about my past i understand that i have had ocd since childhood. now i experience rocd and it’s really hard. when i met my boyfriend i noticed that he is not perfect (appearance) but i felt that i like him really and i wanted to kiss him and to have sex with him. also it was really interesting to chat with him and to talk. but this thing with appearance wouldn’t go away. when he was away i checked videos and photos to calm down and to tell myself that he’s okay, anxiety passed away for several hours and then it came back. but i realized i have had ocd only after 3 month we have been together. i even broke up with him because i thought it would help, but obviously it didn’t because i felt that i like to spend time with him. and lately i understood that it was one of my compulsions. now it’s really hard. sometimes i think that i like everyone except him and that it will never go away, but during past week my anxiety (i do exercises and sit with my fears) went from 10/10 to 7 or even 6 out of 10. when i feel anxious i think that i just hate him and i even experience nightmares with him where he looks like really scary, not like in reality. sometimes i can’t talk to him on facetime because i think that he is ugly when thoughts about this go away my brain makes new ones – he is stupid, you never liked him, you didn’t feel sympathy it was all an illusion. it’s really hard cause before i never knew how to DEAL WITH IT cause no one told me i need to live through this anxiety without trying to make it pass away. sometimes i feel i hate him and i’m not interested about anything about him and my brain tells me to just break up but i know this is one of mechanisms to remove the anxiety. i know i liked him really but sometimes i think “does this really worth it if i fell like this?” but i know that i feel like this cause i just acknowledged that i have ocd and cause i never really coped with my anxiety in the right way. you know, it sucks when you understand that you had really bad ocd past 3 years and it affected relationship with friends and studying and like all life??? but you thought it was depression and doctors just gave you pills that never really helped you and now you can’t stop taking it cause you have really bad anxiety that will rise if you stop taking pills that you have taken for years. (i will stop taking it and now i go to new doctor and trying to find a doctor that will help me with my medicaments) but i know i can handle it and i want to know that i’m able to love and to build any kind of relationship without fear… i know that i’m okay and that i will be okay because now i know how to handle this… but sometimes i think that i can’t handle.. but deep inside i know I CAN. and also sometimes i think that i don’t have ocd and i made it up just to avoid the difficulties. but also i know that it’s one of the symptoms of ocd. if anyone goes or went through this please reply i would be happy to talk sorry for my mistakes english is not my native language
Does anyone else get “intrusive feelings”? Sometimes I get that gut feeling people talk about regarding my boyfriend not being “the one”. It gives me anxiety so it’s hard to tell if it’s anxiety or intuition. I’m trying hard not to ruminate and not figure it out. But it’s hard when something feels so similar to your gut survival instinct!!!
I’m sorry I am posting too much but is it normal for ocd to convince you it’s real? This is why I’m freaking out so much lately because it’s convincing me it’s real. Sometimes I’ll literally be like “accept it you’re a p” and be absolutely depressed for that day like not be able to function or feel an ounce of anything but then the next day I’ll be like “why did you think that, I know I’m not” oh god oh god this is horrible
I kind of touched on this before but can someone share their experience with the ‘backdoor spike’? When people say you have to tell the thought ‘maybe that’s true, maybe not, we will never know for sure’ it just stresses me out because I DO know for sure that it’s not true!! And saying ‘maybe, maybe not’ makes me feel worse because the fact that it’s even a possibility is disgusting in itself
I'm feeling fine now, but then the bad feelings of mistrust start to attack me. I feel happy and then my mind tells me: you are feeling like this because you know you are a bad person and that you are a threat to the people around you. It's like I can't feel like I used to, it's like the thoughts I've had will never go away and will haunt me forever.
So, I think I’m straight but I keep watching gay porn and it really arouses me And whenever I see an “attractive” guy I imagine they in a porno ( not with me in it) But my fantasies only consists of girls And when I stay off of porn for a while I only notice girls What does this mean
What should you do when you see something that would usually trigger compulsions? Am I just supposed to like sit here and be uncomfortable? I’ve been not doing compulsions for a couple of weeks now and I have gotten significantly better but I didn’t see something on here the triggered me. I’m just trying to sit with not knowing.
Anyone with ROCD …. have you ever gone through ERP treatment and then broke up with your partner once you see clearly? I know this may be really triggering for folks. But I always hear how people stay with their partners after ROCD ERP and I think I’m using that as reassurance.
i think i am starting to feel like myself again but that self is bi :( like i haven't been engaging with thoughts but sometimes they're still there and some feelings too but i just ignore them but i really feel like i am attracted to girls and can't accept it. i am trying not to ruminate but i really feel bi.
Yeah I think its pretty much over, when I think about being in relationship with a girl, I get this Ick feeling I dont know why or where Its coming from but when I imagine being In a same sex relationship I dont and it feels more and more normal and natural smh. Now Im also getting thoughts of being embarrassed and ashamed If I was gay. Just have to accept It now right? Smfh
Can anyone recomend a book, podcast or youtube video or channel that has helped them with their OCD? Thank You.
Intrusive thoughts still come but they’ve been more quiet lately and my anxiety hasn’t been as intense but I still feel numb... like my heart isn’t even there sometimes? I can never tell if I’m getting better or worse, this sucks...
Let me tell you. I spent 11 years trying to understand my groinal sensations and guess what… I never found certainty and I still have OCD. The solution is not trying to figure it out. Accept the sensations and do absolutely nothing about it. It may actually just go away if you accept that uncertainty. Risk it.
Me got shopping addiction??? As a compulsion??
My groinal response feel like real arousal I’m scared
I will bounce between OCD’s. Right now it’s sexual orientation for some reason. Has previous Porn watching made this extremely hard for anyone else? My entire life I’ve been attracted to men. I’ve had a million crushes on boys, and several boyfriends. I’ve never been attracted to women or had the thought of being with one. I watched Porn at a younger age and on and off in my young adult life. I was always turned on by the women (groin responses) and I never understood why. I always felt like I could just relate to them more rather than wanting to be with them. Of course I’m still completely attracted to men and will subconsciously check out Men in public, but my thoughts of how I react to women in Porn make me question myself. Does anyone ruminate over the thought “What if you’re lying to yourself?” “What if you really aren’t attracted to men?” I would love to hear similar experiences and your ways of getting through it.
Please help. I could really use some comfort and hope right now. The last week or two my obsessions are bouncing all over the place and new ones are forming before I am even comfortable with the old ones. I have heard that during the erp treatment as you start to make progress you may get a higher quantity of obsessions as ocd tries to get a better grip on you. I hope that this is what is going on and that means I am making progress, but it is coming at a heavy price. Tonight, my mothers cat who I absolutely adore came and laid on my lap for like 10 minutes. She rarely ever does this so I consider it a special treat. This time however, I started to worry about “what if I were to suddenly get groinals (might not have spelled that right) while she is on my lap”. I have never actually had this symptom occur in any of my obsessions to date but they sound horrifying. I did not end up experiencing them tonight, but just because I had the fear is enough to consume me with guilt. I can’t believe that not even having the symptom, but just being afraid of it happening, is enough to send me into a tailspin. I am so sad and want to just cry (I am already on the verge of tears while typing this) and confess to my mom and beg forgiveness but I don’t want to give in to more compulsions.
I like to respond to a lot of posts and give my best advice to people many days. But i feel like I'm accidentally spamming the forum and posting too much in a day. Can this get you banned or is it not spamming as long as you do one response per person? I feel like a great advice giver but i hope i don't come across as obsessive 😂 lmk if this is okay, and if not i totally understand. I have the urge to help people get better as soon as possible…can this be counterproductive though? I'm open to any and all criticism especially since we need to keep this app as healthy as possible!
guys, have you been vaccinated?
Does anyone else get horrible ocd at night? Why is that? I can manage ok in the day but at night it’s all consuming.
y’all im so happy!!!i only got anxious in the morning but i ignored the thoughts and i have been calm today!!I also did my makeup to distract myself and i went too school in the morning !!and also there’s a dog on campus everyday roaming around school and his name is “bommer” and he’s a golden retriever 🥺🥺 I walked into school and said good morning to teachers and the dog came up to me and one of the teachers said “he’s like “you need a hug today” awww” and yes i really did bc the past 3 days have been awful but now im ok!!!i promise it gets better!!!
Does anyone else have these moments where small events traumatize / taint your memory? For example, I could be listening to a song I like, but then a small circumstance occurs and now that song is a tainted memory. Is there a name for what this is called?
Depression is hitting hard, Ive given up and believed my thoughts because the proof made sense to me. My past life is just not making any sense anymore, I cant even rember how I used to be or think, everything is blurry and like Im forgetting It all. Im also genuinely convinced that Im gay, I feel nothing for women and almost everything for the same sex. And like I said Ive pretty much given up and accepted it and Im not even panicking, just depressed and disheartened about this whole ordeal. I feel pretty detached to most things aswell. What should I do? Is this still ocd?