I cant stop missing this girl that I cant be. I wonder if she thinks and feels the same. Yet i have HOCD because of the trauma from her and I which makes no sense. I hope she's okay
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
I need someone to talk too. My anxiety is bad
This is my second night crying because of my anxiety help me
I notice that when I’m on keto my ocd is worse. Any advice?
Anyone else on here have trichotillomania? Just finished pulling out most of my eyelashes :(
Can you like an intrusive thought or are they all unwanted?
Good evening and happy Sunday OCD warriors!! This is my first time making public of what I’ve been going through but I’ve struggled my whole life with OCD and it’s themes. I’m currently dealing with ROCD, primarily partner focused OCD and everything ROCD entails. It started off as me seeing a photo of my gf (almost a year together) and thinking that she was unattractive. I felt so guilty and thought how could I think this of my partner? This ended up to me obsessing over my partners flaws and I was convinced that my partner was unattractive and atrocious (OCD always blows things out of proportion) It got to the point where I started questioning if I loved my partner or not, feeling so real and convinced that I didn’t. I know this is reassurance but I just want to know if I’m the only one out there feeling this? I feel like my feelings have changed and I feel repulsed by my partner and I have terrible thoughts/feelings where I don’t want to be around them anymore or what if I am annoyed by them and everything they do will set me off? I know OCD has tricks but it feels so real and I can’t tell if I am in denial and maybe my partner is not right for me? I want to be with my partner so bad but it seems like my body is rejecting even the thought of her :(
Has anyone successfully treated avoidance as a compulsion without being able to identify the obsessions behind it? I’m a few decades into OCD and understand rationally that the obsessions and compulsions aren’t related in reality so I stopped performing compulsions/engaging obsessions over time and slowly descended into this prison where I can’t and don’t do anything.
So I have health OCD. One of the ways it manifests is that I am terrified to take any new medication. It doesn't matter if its prescribed for a doctor or just a supplement. I have had some bad experiences with medication in the past. So I had my yearly physical the week before last. I talked to my doctor about possibly trying something for my anxiety/panic attacks. I tried Buspar a few years ago. It did nothing for my anxiety and gave me headaches. I do not want to take anything addictive. So I asked her if she could recommend some supplements. Last year, she recommended I start taking a B vitamin for my depression and it really helped. She gave me a print out. She also mentioned that a lot of people use Ashwagandha for anxiety. I have done some research on that already. There are a lot of positive reviews on Amazon. So I found out that was rated really high and bought it. It arrived on Thursday or Friday. I put off taking it. So this morning I decided I was going to take it. My OCD was going crazy. What if it makes me throw up? What if my throat closes up? What if it doesn't work? What if its been tampered with? What if it kills me? I ignored the thoughts and swallowed it with my other pills. I feel like that was a major win.
I'm such a weirdo for having peculiar OCD urges. I keep sticking my index finger into my nose as deep as I can. I want to stop but the urge is strong 😔
Find your why in your recovery. My why is the fact that I want to thrive in life and to be able to manage my OCD and to stop suffering. I also want to be a more present wife and daughter. I don't want to isolate away my loved ones forever..I want to be present and stop being so afraid.
Is it possible to hack someone through Snapchat and be able to see everything on their phone?
💗Important reminders for y'all💗 1. You did NOT choose your theme! Nor did you choose to have ocd. So show yourself compassion:) 2. These thoughts are not your fault! 3. Thoughts are not based in reality or are facts. 4. One person's experience is personal to themselves and you don't have to search to see if you relate. 5. Stress, vulnerability, change, poor sleep/diet/water intake/exercise affect the ocd brain, so make sure you're getting enough nutrition, sleep, and being extra mindful when stressed out. 💛 6. If you feel an intense urge to do something (a compulsion), that is most likely your ocd telling you to do it, not you! 7. The more you fear, the stronger the hold ocd has on you. 8. You are not being forced into doing anything, you are in control 9. You are not alone! You are loved, and you are amazing amazing human who is so deserving of everything that they want ❤❤❤
We are so afraid that the thoughts we have is just representing being in denial. But even if it’s true that we are in denial, it’s still ocd we are experiencing. So never doubt that you have ocd, because if you are doing compulsions and asking for reassurance and all the other symptoms, and it makes your life so much worse, that you can’t function at times, it’s ocd and most likely we are not in denial (not to give reassurance but I feel like it’s important to point out that it’s definitely ocd, that’s something we can be certain of). So my tips is to try to see it as ocd and fix the thinking patterns that lead to so much pain.
POSITIVITY POST FOR PEOPLE WITH EARLY CHILDHOOD-ONSET OCD I know the common narrative in the OCD community is of people who wish they could go back to their life and identity from before their OCD, and I know you don't relate. If you were a small child when you 1st began experiencing symptoms and you don't have many or any memories from before- or if the time before you experienced OCD you were so young or it was so long ago that you didn't really HAVE an identity- I just want you to know you are valid. If you see posts telling you you are the same person as you were before, but you know your OCD formed you and changed you- you are valid. If your current identity wouldn't exist without the OCD- you are valid. If you are defined somewhat by your OCD, you are still an amazing person.. And you are not alone, and you shouldn't be excluded because you've had different experiences. You have gone through this the longest, and you deserve the same love, comraderie, respect, and treatment as everyone else. I hope you find the peace and clarity you deserve.
"Ocd has no cure" isn't exactly a special case. Google any mental illness, including depression and anxiety, and it'll say there's no cure. People on here seem to think that this means we gotta live the rest of our lives just coping well but not ocd-free, which I don't think is true. All this really means is that with any mental illness it's not just "take this pill for a week and you're good to go 100% guaranteed." I used to have severe anxiety for example and now I have none, I'm not just "coping" well with the anxiety, it's actually not there anymore. I have the same intention for ocd.
I'm so anxious, I just want to shut down and cry. My OCD has latched onto my partner's sexuality and forcing me to question if he's straight, bisexual, gay, etc. He won't give me reassurance about anything and my brain/OCD has woven it into he won't directly tell me because he isn't straight. It's agonizing. He has told me "I have nothing to worry about" when I compulsively asked him about it in the past, but I still can't pull myself away from this... I'm so miserable. I just want to get back to how I was before, I never questioned or second guessed much. I'm so stuck..
ever since this theme started its been trying to make me think i’m attached in another way to almost every friend of mine and i just want to be into my person, this is so draining
My OCD relapse has hit its worst point once again. I'm crying everyday, I'm struggling to function. I have obsessive dreams, I wake up in tears, with a dry mouth or straight up in a panic attack. Even though I'm doing ERP, I keep thinking my intrusive thoughts are right. My brain automatically ruminates and catastrophizes, sending me into instant distress whenever my intrusive thoughts happen. I feel so disgusted and I want to give up. I can't do this anymore.
Can’t get the thoughts of my head that I don’t want to stay in my relationship because I want to have sex with other people and have one night stands. Every time I see someone attractive, it triggers these thoughts. They’re really ruining my day and have persisted ever since I woke up this morning. I don’t know what is real anymore and what is OCD. Every time a thought comes into my head about living a Single life and having one night stands, I instantly think about my girlfriend to try and counteract the anxiety but it always makes it worse. I know it’s rumination but it’s so involuntary.
I'm trying to get better at sitting with the uncomfortable anxiety sensations. Mornings are when the thoughts are so loud. I did fall into some compulsions but I am trying to delay them and not do them for so long. I know recovery is a process. The thoughts do get better when I don't do the compulsion but I hate the panicky feeling and the urge to listen to OCD's demands. It is so scary when it feels like you urgently need to do what it is telling you.
The thing that is plaguing me the most currently is my Relationship OCD. I wish when I loved someone I could just connect my feelings and thoughts and expressions, but there’s always hesitation that it’ll get me in trouble or that I shouldn’t trust my partner. It makes me so sad—I feel like I sabotage everything.
I hate this numbing feeling like I don't care to love my boyfriend anymore. I am even finding him to feel just like a friend. I dont know what to do because my insurance isn't accepted on this app and my therapist is unfamiliar with ROCD. I might just give in. I am tired
So ERP and living positively helps. I have come this far almost to the point I barely have intrusive thoughts. I have been practicing having compassion for myself as well as working on mindfulness. Biggest thing I can say is our road to recovery is not the same. But keep fighting and have compassion for yourself. Everyday won't be the same, some days might be easy and some may be hard. Nonetheless, each day is an opportunity to continue living your life. Reach out to me of you need to talk, or just need support. I'm on Telegram!
My therapist asked me when I feel like a good person and I told her I never feel like a good person. I either feel like a terrible person or a neutral person, but never a good person. Anyone else feel this way?
I just realized something about myself that might help others. Part of my OCD is perfectionism, and I just realized that I’ve been being a perfectionist about my OCD recovery. I’ve been feeling like I need to completely get rid of my OCD in order to be a good person, deserve love, and have a normal life. But that’s not true! 1. It’s probably impossible to completely get rid of OCD. I’ll probably have some symptoms my whole life, and that’s ok. 2. Our OCD symptoms don’t make us bad. We’re just as deserving of love as anyone else. 3. “Normal” is relative. I envy other people who seem to not have any doubts or fears, but how do I know what’s really going on under the surface? What about focusing instead on the things I’d like to do in life? I’m feeling inspired to make a list of things I want to do and experience in life. I’ll do them whether or not OCD is there. That’s what recovery really means 💜
Y’all got any advice for feelin depression with ocd?
Is it normal to have doubt about having ocd even though I have a diagnosis?
Does anyone else get upset about the fact they have ocd and have to live with it for the rest of their lives? I sometimes just feel really gutted that although my symptoms have improved drastically and I mostly live a life without ocd affecting it, I feel worried and scared about the future and always having ocd.
Hocd- Trigger Warning I think I may actually have slipped into actual sexual crisis/denial and questioning rather than So-ocd. I experience little to no anxiety, just anxiousness, I have convinced myself and believed that Im gay due to how much proof my brain gave me from my past, Idk if that was false memory bc it felt real except I didnt connect the dots before but after ocd all the proof seemed to make sense Hence I believed it. On top of this, Thoughts/feelings seem to make me feel something and I think id give in if I got the opportunity. And now im not even freaking out that I probably prefer guys more than girls.
Can someone explain To me what false memory ocd is?
OCD doesn’t respond to logic. OCD doesn’t respond to logic. OCD doesn’t respond to logic. I have to keep reminding myself that because I keep trying to rationalize these thoughts and that’s only making me feel worse.
Does your OCD spike bad a week before and during your period?
Does anyone know how to immediately stop crying? I'm very happy, I'm having a good day, but all of a sudden, tears? Unwanted and annoying, and I'm about to start my call with my therapist.
Is playing out what an event will look like and knowing what to do afterwards a compulsion? For example intrusive thought and how to handle it. Like visualizing maybe
I feel paralyzed by indecision with every choice I need to make. From what food to eat to life changing choices.
Does anyone else have moments where it feels like another theme could potentially pop up but then it doesn't grab hold like your main themes?
Hi there ! I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for the past 5 years . I’m unable to leave my house , concentrate on my job, and start communication with someone . I’m always afraid of being hard not physically but emotionally . I have been in therapy for over 15 years but the OCD has gotten worse . I stay in bed al day and can’t stop watching tv even if I don’t like it anymore . Has someone experienced these symptoms ? I just joined a support group today and ir went great but can’t have one to one therapy as I’m currently in mexico . Could you please share your experience and tips . I just want to feel free !! Blessings . N.
Is health anxiety/ocd something your therapists treat? I don’t see it mentioned. Thanks
anyone else know they’re not gay but keep getting images? and whenever you say i’m straight you feel like your lying and you say i’m gay and it’s just like.. not true. and it feels like you can’t love who your in a relationship with.. like i KNOW i’m not gay. deep down. it sounds so silly to say. the images scare me… also, i think what triggered this was my boyfriend breaking up with me for a day (lol) and us getting back together and now i’m terrified of losing him
I feel extremely depressed. My ocd is consuming me. Everything is happening, and everyone is telling me to get over it. The only way to get passed this is to get over it, but u don’t know how. The truth hurts I’m so scared of anything bad to happen. I’m not ready for my life to start.
I had really bad derealization/depersonalization today from like 5 PM-4 AM now and it’s TORTURE. SO uncomfortable. Like this is so confusing all you can literally do is hope things get better soon. I haven’t been panicking as bad lately (just frustrated/discouraged crying 🙄) but I have been feeling more tormented mentally and like something about reality feels weird. It’s really hard to tell if I’m even getting better...my concentration the last couple of days has been absolutely awful too
I was just recently diagnosed with OCD. Ever since, I’ve been feeling like I don’t actually have it. I know I do but I keep thinking that I lied to my therapist. She told me I should do an IOP and I’m scared of starting the program, realizing I don’t deserve to be there, and feeling as if I’m taking someone’s spot who really needs it. I also read the posts on here and doubt if I’ve ever had experiences close to what you’re all having. Does anyone else feel this way? Sorry if this makes no sense.
I had a mini A-HA! moment today and wanted to share in case anyone else found it helpful. I wrote it as an entry in my journal today so I’ll just share below. It’s a bit long winded but I hope it’s a bit helpful for someone: When these anxious thoughts and memories come up, it feels like they are happening all over again, right in front of me. It feels like it’s some thing I need to sort out immediately. It feels important and it feels like my whole past and my whole future relationship depends on it. I think the other important thing to remember is that in most cases, I’ve thought about these things as much as I can. I’ve gone back into these memories and back into the past over and over and over, trying to decipher and trying to relive and trying to reimagine. Trying to understand, trying to find or dig up evidence one way or another. Tried to find reassurance one way or another. Tried to find certainty one way or another. The unfortunate but truthful part of it all is that I’ve thought about these things as much as I can, and no matter how much I continue to ruminate or continue to obsess about these memories, I’ll never be able to decipher it in such a way that gives me more clarity one way or the other. I’ve thought about it as much as any human possibly can, and I’m still uncertain of the answer or the truth. This means I am safe to let this go for now and not think about it anymore. I can release this.
OCD has ruined my life. My grades are low, I quit my job due to it, it’s ruining my relationships with friends and family, and I haven’t even started any college applications. I feel like I can’t do anything and it’s keeping me from doing anything about it.
So I started ERP and like I almost feel depressed just not having my ocd anymore, my life surrounded around my triggers and now I just feel like I don’t know how to live anymore being “normal” anyone else feel like that? I feel like it sounds bad complaining about NOT having OCD symptoms but I’ve had this my whole life that everything feel weird
Please forgive me for posting so much but I feel like Im going to explode, I just dont see a way out of the mess I put myself in. I ruminated and paid attention to my thoughts so much in the last 5 months and now im deeply confused, like im losing brain cells here wtf. I dont see a point in ocd therapy bc I think Im just gay and always have been just never noticed it before ocd, theres so much little proof for it and when I add it up it all makes sense. But I cant sit still for 5 minutes with these anxious and delressive feelings they are overwhelming me. What do I do guys : (
Does someone have the compulsion to "confess" their obsessions to a certain person? Cause every time I get an obsessive thought, I get the urge immediately after to tell my boyfriend what I thought, since we both agreed to not keep secrets from one another. For example, if I saw a gross picture on Instagram, or had a dream of me dating someone else, I felt like something terrible would happen if I didn't tell him what I saw. So I always have to tell him my bad thoughts I get or my anxiety takes me over, which it eventually does later anyway since it's a compulsion and only gives temporary relief. Even if my brain knows the thought I'm having will hurt his feelings sometimes, I'm still extremely urged by Ocd to tell him or I feel like a liar or fake or untrusting girlfriend. Then when I do tell him I feel better for a second until his feelings are hurt because of my stupid compulsion and then anxiety about what he thinks of me comes soon after 😭
Hi guys! I got my ocd diagnosis! Im so happy, after 3 years, I finally got it. I can now get the proper help for my intrusive thoughts. I put it off for so long, but I'm glad I had the courage to talk to my doctor about it 💜
Reminder: increase in anxiety is not an indicator of danger! I just saw something triggering and my first impulse was to ruminate to "figure out" this new problem- but that thing I saw existed before I was made aware of it, and it had no affect on me then. Why should I let it affect me now? Sometimes our internal alarm clocks go off without a good reason. Our anxiety is real, but the DANGER is not. When we realise this it can make a huge difference!
Everyone on this app has personal agency. At a certain point in your life, you have two options that you must decide regarding your mental illness: 1. Continue to let your OCD control your life and make you miserable or, 2. Trust your therapist/psychiatrist and the proven methods to combat OCD and learn life-long coping mechanisms to handle your mental illness. Don’t let your OCD bully you. Take no shyte. For 6 years I participated in reassurance and avoidance and made my OCD worse and worse… until one day, I decided to trust my therapist and trust the science. That was the best decision I ever made because my life has never been better.
Do any of you have extreme anger — towards people you care about or other people. And it will be the littlest thing and I will flip out. I always feel so bad after. Anyways, my question is that do any of you who suffer from OCD experience extreme anger? I was just wondering if OCD can cause anger.
Do any of you experience the pain in your head you get after or while doing a bunch of rituals/OCD actions. The best way I can describe it is that it doesn’t feel like a normal headache - it’s a different feeling and pain. It feels like I’m going crazy in my mind and that my mind is about to explode from doing things over and over again and thinking to much. —- Does anyone have these headache things?
I’m not doing well, it feels so real. Every time I have a revelation of feeling better everything gets bad again. Also tried to watch a scary movie and turned out to be a big trigger. I’m so tired and disappointed in myself.
hey guys i need help rn , i’ve never rlly posted on here but now i feel so mentally tired and in huge denial about being bi. this all started 7 th grade i rember i had the thought of being bi or lesbian and getting anxious and basically what i’m going thru rn, i had lots of what i call “false “ attractions and crushes like i would think if i liked them and got so bad to the point where i questioned if i liked my aunt and sister and i ended up getting past them but now as an 11 grader in hs this all started again bcuz of a dream i had which was kissing some random girl and from their it went on. i started doing compulsions and started getting intrusive thoughts and i started getting worse and worse and then i got better but smth would trigger the ocd again. i began to watch a video on youtube of how some girl knew she was in denial and i immediately freaked bcuz in the video she says how she had girl crushes when she was little and etc and i didn’t relate to that bcuz all my life i had boy crushes but then at one point she said she had a bestfriend that when they fought that it rlly affected her and that at one point as their friendship got closer it came to a point where she felt like kissing her and that when her friend had a boyfriend she got super jealous and although the jealousy part didn’t relate to me some of it did 😭for example when we would fight it would bother me so much and also i remeber once on our way to knotts scary farm i felt so happy bcuz i loved going their and then idk how it was but me and her planned to peck bcuz we were like “oh malu trevejo and her best friend pecked in the mouth “ and we didn’t end up doing it bcuz we were kind of like weird about it but it literally proves by those two things 😭not just that but also at one point like a year before that u belive i got a thought that i liked her and i got anxious and got mad 😭😭and then with some other girl while gling thru hocd in 7 th grade i felt like she liked me and i started thinking like omg what if i like her and i got mad which ik is denial bcuz why else did i get mad and now idk if that was a false attraction or not 😭
how can i tell my therapist about my ocd? i have it severely and it’s such a hard thing for me to bring up but i need help badly. any advice?
Had a day out at the weekend with my 4 year old daughter, my friend and my friends 6 year old daughter. It was my daughters birthday My friends daughter was so rude to my daughter for most of the day when all my Daughter was was trying to do was speak to her or be friendly. My friends daughter was even a brat to her father and my partner. Luckily my child isn’t bothered and doesn’t even realise but it It really annoyed me and I feel my ocd has attached to this as I now feel like I’m a horrible parent for not saying something. I dunno if it’s stupid but even stupid things like that with OCD ruin my days it’s so stupid and frustrating but I feel like I’m less of a person and my heart rate is through the roof.
Any tips on how to handle ocd dreams?
Just realized my friends don't actually like me that much which is fun. I found this happens a lot like I always end up as a backup friend. I'm not sure if I'm fundamentally unlileable or if it'd my refusal to emotionally open up to any human being on the planet. Cuz when I did I had a connection with people but the I stopped cuz ya know people. So idk
I start ERP therapy the day after tomorrow. I have done talk therapy and movement therapy, but never ERP. Has anyone done it before? If so, can you tell me your experience with it? Thanks!
Why is my mind that much ugly? Since i was born..
What’s the line between thinking someone is pretty and being attracted to them?? I’m going clubbing (for the first time) this thursday and i’m so scared im gonna find only the girls attractive over the guys. But i REALLY wanna fall in love with a guy and all that cute stuff, and i don’t want that with a girl it gives me anxiety….. I can’t tell the difference anymore When i’m “attracted” to a girl it feels like im burning and im scared and i get groinal responses and my head feels fuzzy and hot and heavy—i just feel weird and i get terrified. I’m paralyzed with fear. (My face also flushes) But with guys, i think they’re cute. And it’s just like neutral. Like my body doesn’t respond, and it’s natural. But then i’m scared it’s not attraction cause i don’t have that huge bodily response
Can I ask what improvements can be made with ocd. I’m just getting to the point, I don’t see the point in suffering everyday. It’s just to much. Nearly a year with the same thoughts repeating all the time.
In your recovery don't forget the age old definition of fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.
Has anyone with SO-OCD ever got to the point where they’re convinced that it’s true and start questioning every ‘straight’ encounter they’ve ever had in their life. They start thinking their whole life up until now has been a lie and you’ve just been stupid and not seen the signs? But when you feel like your close to ‘coming out’ it fills you up with so much anxiety you want to cry? But then at other times you feel less anxiety which then confirms further that you want to be gay? But throughout all of this you still do all your compulsions but then you tell yourself it must be out of habit and now actually OCD anymore even though you’re had OCD all your life? Sorry if this is triggering but I just feel like I’m such denial even saying any of this and that I actually do want to be gay I’m just pushing back the inevitable because I’m scared of it. I’ve got to a point where I can’t even see myself with the opposite sex anymore and it hurts that what I could do with such ease is now next to impossible.
my intrusive thoughts have been slowly getting worse for the past couple days and i'm so afraid that they are true. i know they're not the thoughts of hurting children disgust me and it freaks me out to much but i don't know what to do anymore. i'm so scared of acting on these thoughts and i'm trying tk stay calm about it so i don't throw myself into a panic attack at 2 am. i'm gonna definitely ask my mom about my psychiatrist appointment scheduling and maybe join this ocd support group i found. i just needed some place to vent. also idk if this is reassurance seeking but if anyone has any words of encouragement it would be appreciated.
Unfortunately, what I'm hoping is OCD, has continued to become worse for me and I've decided I really need some help with it all! However I live in the UK, how does that work with accessing NOCD, I really want a specialist rather than seeing someone who might misdiagnose.
For years I've had fantasies (not intrustive thoughts) about the worst things you can imagine which I felt no guilt for. Like zero. 5 months ago I had a breakdown over thoughts I was a bad girlfriend and exhibited classic ROCD signs. My therapist has told me I have OCD. I check, I ruminate, I confess, I have now started making up false memories which is really fun (sarcasm) and best of all I try to find certainty in every possible scenario. The difficulty is I have these fantasies without guilt. So therefore, they aren't intrustive thoughts which is a core component of OCD. My obsessions and compulsions are around if I'm a bad person and how can I prove if I am or I'm not. So much that I have started believing in God and I am convinced that there is some sort of higher power that is trying to out me to friends and family because I need to be punished for all of these sick thoughts that have given me pleasure. It is really difficult because I do not want to act on these thoughts and have no intention. But I recognise they are not intrusive in nature. My intrusive thoughts are "what does this mean about me as a person? do I need to be locked up? I need to leave my boyfriend and family" and the classic suicide/going straight to hell thoughts. I wondered if anyone else had fantasies and not intrustive thoughts but also had OCD? (not seeking reassurance but would just like to not feel like I'm the worst person in the world at the moment)
I have a quick question, I have completed my erp with nocd it was great , life's been easier. Ive still had some crappy days. But I have heard alot lately about keeping your values throughout ocd and what not. Can someone explain to me what that means? Thanks
Anyone else trying to manage nursing school while suffering with OCD? I can’t imagine inserting a catheter on someone and you can guess why. I suffer from Pocd, harm ocd, and contamination ocd mainly so it makes nursing really tough. The nursing tasks are extremely distressing for me, like I can’t do them but I literally need to for my (future) job. 😭
Idk why it’s making me feel like I want to check out kids so much like it’s weird before I was sure that I want that or even wanted to and now it feels like I want to :( and then my mind says stuff making it feel like it’s my mind coming up with those disgusting thoughts and they feel real like automatic like it’s my mind I feel so bad bc it feels like arousal too 😭
How has exercise affected your mental health?