Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’m so heartbroken. After battling with hocd all last year and having the worst year of my life, my boyfriend has not let it go. He thinks I’m a lesbian and calls me a “lezzo” in fights. I’m so heartbroken. He won’t let this go and I forever feel like I’ve destroyed this relationship and it’ll never ever go back to being normal. :((((

All day I’ve been obsessing over who he follows on Instagram. I was doing so well for months but I feel like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole. so many of these people he follows seem so triggering- why did he follow this girl on one account and not the other? The girls in his university class that he follows seem WAY too young for them to be “liking” each other’s photos. is he being inappropriate? he’s way too old for them. why is he friends with this girl on Facebook too? Ugh, it’s just exhausting and my brain is absolutely swimming. I’ve been obsessing over this since the morning and I should be working. I’m also sort of embarrassed that I’m in my 30s and worrying about girls on a freaking app. It all feels so pathetic and stupid but at the same time, VERY scary and real 😞

We know from personal experience that living with OCD can feel isolating, so it’s important to have support from someone who truly understands you. That’s why every member who begins treatment at NOCD Therapy is connected to a Peer Advisor. Our team of Peer Advisors at NOCD Therapy has experienced OCD and completed ERP at NOCD Therapy. They can relate to what you may be experiencing as you begin your treatment journey and are available to address questions, hesitations, or fears you may have. They’ll help you prepare for your first therapy session and will check in afterward to ensure that your NOCD therapist was a good match. At NOCD Therapy, you’re never alone as you begin your OCD treatment journey. Book a free call with our team to learn more about working with a NOCD therapist that can help you get better, and getting support from a Peer Advisor when you start.

TW IM convinced that no one in the work could possibly be 100% straight. Just strong preferences. Does this make sense?

I am FED UP with this obsession now and listening to the erp. How long does it take for your brain to realise it is a load of RUBBISH and it is all in your head??????? I feel I can't keep doing this. My anxiety is going down but I am getting angry with what the erp is saying to me now but still BELIEVE it.....when will this end? I have had moments of clarity but it doesnt last......please help

To all the girls out there :) When your period is coming, does it increase your intrusive thoughts? If so, how do you cope with it? I mean, I clearly know it’s OCD and I know how not-to care about it after this time of the month but week before and during the cycle it’s like a nightmare… even tho I know it’s just this freaking ilness, I feel a huge anxiety and fear. How do you cope with that, girls? (Not looking for reassurance or anything, just being curious! :))

Does anyone suffer from schizophrenia/psychosis OCD? Where they are so afraid that this is what is happening rather than anxiety or OCD? Like intrusive thoughts of the same nature a person suffering psychosis would have? Or doing mental rituals to prevent hallucinations or delusions from happening? A lot of my compulsions are avoidance too which severely impacts my quality of life. It isn’t as common as other themes and there’s other parts of it that stem from trauma, but this is the general theme.

I’ve been really bad at doing ERP the past few days, and I can feel OCD starting to sink it’s claws back into me. It’s almost bedtime, and I’m scared to do ERP so close to when I should be winding down to sleep, but I’m going to do it anyway. Time to go look at some artistic nudes until I stop feeling anxious, I guess! Wish me luck.

I get obsessed over simple things (like dialogues) that I feel like I didn't fully understand (when in reality I do) and my mind gets stuck in a loop. I find myself overanalysing a sentence, a dialogue. It's like if I were stuck in an endless circle of thought. Has anybody ever felt like this?

I’m really struggling, with POCD false memory from 3 years ago, I did great for about a year but my PTSD being around my parents sent me into an OCD spiral about a month ago and I can’t get back to a good place. My daughters at the age where she hates me and the world. I can hardly touch her without her jumping. I speak to her she gets defensive. I put a post up the other night about her rejecting my hug and it literally sent me into a severe panic attack. It’s my only day off today after working a long weekend. I just went to wake her up for school by sitting on the edge of her bed and she’s just so moody. This is killing me, I feel like my reassurance that I’m innocent is based off her mood. All I want to do is climb back in bed and shut down, and unfortunately I have to help my sister today moving my parents into an apartment, I’m scared to be around them. I know they will make me feel worse but I have to help for my sister. She’s finally realized how toxic they are and has made a life changing decision to move out at 35. I’m so proud of her and want to be supportive but my brain is just all over the place. My mom is sickly, her and my dad are both addicts and seeing them in such a sad state just messes with my head. I’m so resentful, I feel like they are the route of all my anxiety and OCD, they definitely triggered my false memory and it’s hard to find peace with any of this.

I am feeling helpless and so torn…Idk why but it’s starting to feel a little too real and i am always just hanging in between which is like feeling similar for the the opp sex and the same which makes me believe in what i am denying or am i even denying?!? Like I can’t differentiate whats true what not cause all this feels very true natural and how it should have always been but i am just realising and this is the process where everyone is anxious at first and then become normal with it?!? Like thats how it happens with people who are in denial too right like how do i tell myself i am not in denial and when someone says i am straight how do i believe it with so many proofs and then I actually don’t believe it cause the opp feels more believable than this and if thats the case doesn’t it say that yes i have been avoiding it and what for if i am not scared and okay with it but am i truly like if i even consider this an option that says something about this right?!? What do i do?!?

Does anyone just feel like a gay best friend in their relationship now?

Pls could use a little help 😥I had a few things in mind that i need to get out so i have my thoughts and then they just pass away without any anxiety like they are a part of me and it's natural to me which I don't understand how it's possible its feels like At this point I don't care and feel like i am and i am just faking all this ocd and i agree with it hardcore and all this writing and posting is also bs. get the thoughts like i had a fee today where i felt like i was naturally noticing the girl... and a dream where i wanted to be with one and when such things happen how am i not supposed to believe them like my ocd or whatever it is it is better now and get a few thoughts here and there and i am so tired i just don't want to engage with them and then i think if i am being so okay with the uncertainty of maybe maybe not and people on the other hand have so much problem then it might me that i always was what i am denying and i am writing this so easily too that means its not ocd right?!? Cause why would i be so okay and now more specifically be okay with the maybe maybe not idea!!! That should take time it means it was always like this thats why its easy to accept?!! Idk what to do!!?! I feel i am faking it all and the thoughts have started to feel like a part of me and i get it and don't pay attention like anyone else from the community wouldn't what does that make me?!? If i feel so natural with them how is it ocd?!

I’VE BEAT HOCD!!!!!!!

just confessed at the worst Damn time I’m so annoyed with myself literally tonight something quite bad happened in my boyfriends family and I call him to confess something from the past and it just really upset him because of what happened and then I called him just to tell him this and I’m so angry with myself I knew it was a bad idea but I was anxious and being selfish to relieve my own anxiety I’m scared I’m going to ruin everything with this. I just need to vent I know it’s all my fault but it’s so hard to live like this sometimes I am so mad at myself for being insensitive and selfish like this. He knows im like this and have ocd and anxiety but idk if he understands the extent of how this controls my brain and how I think and how it’s leads me to act so if he doesn’t break up w me or something I wanna have him read something about it but god I suck for doing this I feel like he deserves way better.

TW I genuinely think ocd just showed me what my real identity is that I never noticed all these years. Now why even bother talking to a therapist when the thoughts are true. I think I just liked girls and wanted a gf bc of heternormativity but in reality I dont actually like women. It makes sense bc I remember anytime i smoked weed and got really high I couldnt imagine myself having a gf, it sort of felt impossible and you know when youre high you see things differently and more clearly. This is just one proof theres tons more like this. The attraction towards same sex feels too strong and this is when im isolated at home, think id just act on them when I meet people. I believe im just ashamed and embarrassed of being gay and cant accept it which is causing these issues. Idk what Im hoping for locked in my room unable to cope with this depression, anxiety coming here everyday and bothering people who actually have ocd with my stupid posts. Anyways, I wish god would just take my life, my mental health is done for.

I hate hearing love is a choice… when I constantly feel nothing for him… it hurts… when I am loving him it’s like I am faking it and leading him on… I avoid sex completely bc of it… I want to love him like before. I want to cuddle and hold him tightly… it’s everyday now… it’s like if I talk to him about this it’s like I am gonna break up with him… I just want to love him peacefully again. I’ve had mild ROCD for years and NEVER did it feel like this… It’s like I gave into and just want to give up but I know I don’t want to. I know if I leave I will wanna be with him again. It’s like my brain has flatlined when it comes to him…

I feel like crying I’m scared I said nothing more than I would say be happy let myself see it and said nothing more lovely there isn’t anything lovely about girls I don’t like boobs and like I’m scared I don’t want to feel better saying nothing more there isn’t lovely anything lovely about girls in that sense I’m really scared I don’t love girls are like them physically I don’t like anything about them in that sense there’s nothing why would I say more why would I smiles if you better just living yourself or living your life or whatever like that is but that’s not myself I’m scared where is my like there really isn’t a meter isn’t it keep insisting I said I keep saying there really isn’t there Is plenty things more lovely I don’t like girls that I keep why do I keep saying nothing why do I get more stress when I say there’s not when there isn’t anything lovely about girls in that sense Why would I smile why would I have that little niggling thing in the back of my head saying you’d be more happy and I keep smiling and deliberately saying nothing more than there’s nothing I can’t breathe there’s nothing lovely about them like that I’m scared of what I will not be happy with girls I don’t like them I’m not fascinated I don’t like any shape or size of boobs I don’t like them down there and I make faces like I don’t when I like to why do I keep saying nothing anything more lovely I don’t like girls why do I keep saying nothing there’s plenty of things more lovely I don’t like girls there’s nothing lovely about them and now I feel worse saying that but I don’t like girls why do I keep saying nothing anything more I don’t like girls they’re not lovely and that I can’t believe you guys I’m sorry for repeating myself why do I keep saying nothing more why did I smile and act like it to be happy saying I’m scared I act like that is that’s not I don’t know I’m scared I keep saying that that’s not my true self and then say nothing anything is more lovely I don’t like girls there’s nothing I said more anything is more love and good I keep saying all I just simply I don’t like girls I don’t just simply anything I don’t like girls there’s not nothing or anything why do I keep saying nothing anything is more lovely I don’t like girls I’m scared I do I keep nodding rapidly up and down I don’t actually like girls Hey used to be nothing more lovely then guys and I’m talking like that isn’t but I love guys I don’t love girls there’s nothing lovely about them in that sense

Its currently 5 pm, i just woke up. This has been my routine for the last 3 months. Im so embarrassed to go downstairs and face my family man but I just want to keep sleeping, its the only way I can cope with this shitty depression a little but as soon as im up it gets worse. Having ocd about something dosent mean that the thoughts could not be true right? I think thats whats happened to me, I think I have obsessive thoughts but at the same time Im in denial. I want my lïfe to just end man, Im fucking tired, im too confused and anxious to deal with this

Hi Guys I’m wondering if I find a person will he accept my ocd and weird behaviours or is it too hard. How it works in your relationships? Is it possible to find love while having OCD?