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working to conquer OCD
I can’t stop crying, I even cried today when being intimate with my husband. I keep thinking my kids deserve a better mom, he never should have married me. I’m a monster and I harmed our daughter. He tells me it’s not true, there’s no way but how can he be so sure? How can he trust me so much when I really convinced myself I’ve done this.
Recovery tip- Many of our desires are about wanting not to feel things. If you experience panic attacks, you may identify particular situations that make you very anxious and bring up an attack. For example: Going into crowded busy places, public speaking, traveling in a car or plane, hospitals etc. but research shows that for many people, it’s not the situation that they’re actually scared of but the experience of having a panic attack. That desire to avoid the experience leads to the person checking, coping or controlling to make sure it’s not happening. Which increases their chances of judging something internal or external as a sign that it is happening, which scares them and leads to more attempts of controlling, coping or checking, which leads to it actually happening. Keep in mind, if you want to get rid of anxiety and intrusive thoughts or sensations more than anything in this world, your brain will give you many things to feel anxious about so you can try to get rid of that feeling and get what you want more than anything else in the world. Your brain is just trying to help you. It’s helpful to treat your brain like a toddler or a puppy. Toddlers and puppies react to many things. Toddlers cry when they don’t get a cookie, they may think it’s the end of the world. Puppies bark at random noises or whine if they don’t think they’re getting enough attention or enough treats! Your brain operates similarly. Your brain is an uncertainty barometer, always looking out for you. You don’t control the random thoughts or emotions your brain throws up at random moments, but you control your actions. Be the adult to your brain. Give your brain thanks for always being there for you and watching out for you. But you’re not going to perform compulsions and react to those random thoughts and emotions. An urge, desire, thought or sensation can be there as you take a step towards what actually matters to you!
** TW ** Can someone help? Has anyone ever had the strong compulsion to say something they don’t mean? This happened to me. Sorry for the stream of consciousness: I’m scared I keep insisting that I do but I don’t want to I don’t want to get over him I don’t want to and then I kept insisting but I don’t want to switch teams why did I kept insisting that I do I don’t really why can’t I stop I said don’t want to I want It to stop not my feelings for him and I act like he’s but he’s not ugly and I specially don’t want to switch teams why did I compulsively in so strong and keep insisting otherwise I don’t want to switch teams I keep saying it’s not it is that I don’t want to I don’t want to find another guy and I act like since he’s not an option at least right now that maybe I don’t actively want to I don’t want to switch teams subconsciously I don’t want to switch teams at all I don’t want to Why can’t I stop insisting that I do when I don’t want to I don’t want to switch teams
Is anyone here from Brazil ? I need help to find people who do ERP here or if some you could help me in how to do self ERP or maybe getting therapy online ?
I’m trying so hard but this memory is killing me, how can something that feels so real be false. I feel so much guilt and shame, my house is trashed. My poor kids. I feel Like there no point in keeping things nice anymore, I’m just a fraud and my daughter remembers what I did and just won’t tell me. I want my life back.
Happy sunday night y'all!🤗💗 Please give me some props for having an amazing day despite my ex trying to reach out for the 2nd time 😩. I wasn't even triggered, which is a major win! A picture from today's outing with a friend :) its been a gorgeous day today 😊
Not really ocd related nore deoression related but ive recently really just had this bsd episode of feeling unlovable. I dont meet the criteria for clinical depressiin but this existential crisis kinda sucks. I really want to figure out what love is because theres a point whdre a person becomes unlovable right ? I read about people with low functioning autistic kids who destroy the house and people who rely too much on their partners when depressed and the oartner leaves then fir sucking theyyre soul out. I have a fear of beung unlovable and my mind is cknstantly trying tk fgure out what love is and what being umlovable is and whether to shut myself off to the world to never get hurt or to try and form close bonds and whether that is worth a shot becuase i dont want to rely too much on someone and be umlovable vut the only eay to get close to soemone is ope img up to them so where is that line exactly ? I dont want to talk to my friends on that cuz what if they hate me then? But ive noticed they are close ti each other cuz they talk about thir problems. Im the funny carefree friend no one knows about the sadder side of me and i feel so unlovable but logcially know im jpt umlovable because im jot an incovenience tk ithers but im afraid i will be if i shpw people that part of myself so i really dont know ehat to do. I tried telling my therapist who is amazimg for icd but kinda patrinziign and annoyung and treats me like a child when it comes to de0ression. I hate her aplroach but her erp suggestions are good
I see so many people with SO-OCD talk about genuinely knowing their “true” orientation, but still having the irrational fears. This doesn’t really resonate with me, as I’ve had these worries since puberty, and I feel so genuinely confused sometimes. I don’t want to be a lesbian, and I don’t want to date or have sex with women, but I also feel so numb and scared of relationships with men. I’m terrified of intimacy (emotional or physical), and I just can’t relate to some of the things people say about SO-OCD.
Pls help me My boy is super expansive with all the girls. He said that he don't want to flirt with them, that it is just his personality. I have a quality time love and it is super hard for me to see him give a lot of attentions to other girls... It makes me feel so unspecial, just one of others... I don't know what to do... i feel so much pain right now because of this, and I'm about to asking a pause; I don't know If it is the right chose, or an rocd compulsion, but I don't want to keep being hurt like that... what should I do??
Ughh I hate myself. I had gone so long without checking and just when I go to check I find out he has added 3 new blonde girls. It’s really upset me tbh to the extent I want to finish our 4.5 year relationship with him. I know they are all women he works with but it makes me feel like why is he adding them? Surely he’s interested, some of them are really young too like 7/8 years younger than him. I know he likes blondes. And they have bfs too. But it’s still annoyed me. Why did he have to add them? And why has he not added others? Why is it always blondes? Is it maybe just a coincidence that his place are only hiring blondes? Idk. I just feel completely devastated rn and this is exactly why I feel I need to check because I end up missing things like this 😔 I badly want to avoid him at all costs now. I’m calling him all names under the sun rn in my head and feel sick with the thought of him.
What to do when you feel there’s convincing evidence you are your fear? Aka there’s similarities between your behaviour and that of your fear? For me it’s a fear I’m aromantic and because I get uncertain/anxious around getting into a relationship I’m worried this is very similar to what aromantic people do. Please don’t give me reassurance - I just can’t resist ruminating over this. It feels like my fear is real and I’m in denial.
I am wondering if you can offer anything, like in the way of counseling or tips for family trying to help someone who has ocd.
Does anyone have ocd so severe that it feels like no matter what you’re doing, you’re doing something wrong? For example, no matter how I’m holding my daughter I feel like it’s wrong. If I hold her close to me, far away from me, where my hands are placed, etc. I had to unbuckle her seat straps on her high chair and I felt like i went in too aggressive. The buckle lays right in her crotch and allll I could about, was my fingers being near her crotch. I start to hyper focus on it and it makes me soooo uncomfortable. 😓. If she’s laying on my chest I start to hyper focus on my breasts and how they feel and I start to focus so hard on making sure they don’t move or anything. The slightest twitch will send me into a spiral. Same thing when she’s sitting on my lap. I’m constantly telling myself “don’t move don’t move don’t move” and if my leg does move even the slightest bit I freak out and rush of guilt runs over me. Sometimes I don’t even know if I actually move or not, or if I just imagine it. It’s getting really out of hand. I feel so anxious all of the time and I feel like every move I make is wrong. I’m so stiff around her. She’s two so she crawls all over me and if she straddles my leg or my foot or lap or anything I feel this brush of guilt take over me that makes me want to vomit. Like I could’ve done something to prevent it. And when I don’t take the steps to prevent it, I feel so guilty. Like I didn’t move out of the way because I wanted it. When doing diaper changes, I’m so careful about where my hands are, where the diaper is, etc. My mind and heart are just racing and I literally have to think about what my next Move is, strategically place my hands so that they aren’t anywhere near anything conceivably dangerous. My stomach is in knots right now because I just feel so guilty about every single movement I’ve made today. I’m constantly on edge and ruminating/preparing for every move I make all of the time.
having a hard day :-( has anyones NOCD therapist helped them get in touch with a psychiatrist or is that something I need to do on my own?
I got prescribed Zoloft by an online app. I took one and my anxiety went away for the day, but so did my OCD thoughts. I couldn’t overthink while conversing with my family or overanalyze a movie I was watching (and relate it obsessively and emotionally back to myself) which felt so relaxing, but it dulled my emotions to the point I felt detached from the people I loved. When the first dose wore off, my OCD thoughts flooded back in, trying to cause panic and I recognized them since they were gone. Now I don’t know what to do. I don’t like dulling my emotions with the medication, but I hate the OCD thoughts. I’m also scared of never having in-depth thoughts if I continue to take them. Does anyone have an opinion on using anti-anxiety meds for OCD?
I don’t mean to ask for reassurance but what’s the difference between having POCD and the real thing
Psalm 37 Verse 23-24 ²³The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him. ²⁴ Though he may stumble he will not fall. OCD may cause your feet to stumble but you will not fall for God is protecting you x.
Is fear OCD a thing? I fear everything :( Fear health, my mental health, death. Im tired of being tired. Im just tired. Im scared to loose my job/need to quit cause i cant handle it anymore.
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OCD doesn't have to
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