Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hi there, I have had OCD since the longest I can possibly remember. I was diagnosed when I was around 8-10 years old (bad memory sorry), but that’s only when my family actually took notice that it was making me causing me a great amount of stress/anxiety. So I’ve been living with OCD for basically my whole life really and it’s very hard to go against my compulsions most of the time. I used to be in therapy but since I thought I was getting better my OCD made me avoid going back again for help, and I stopped taking my medication as well. That was a few years ago now, possibly 3, but now I’ve just been suffering on my own. And this is where things get complicated so, I congratulate you for still reading (I appreciate it thank you). I have a super great group of friends who are all aware of my OCD, but don’t really understand it because I mostly tried to keep to myself. I would mention it whenever it got really bad but I didn’t want to be a bother so I stayed quiet. Now I have a best friend in this group and he’s the light at the end of the tunnel for me. He’s the one guy that I can talk about anything and everything with, so I started to open up to him about my OCD. The more I talked the more he learned basically, and of course he would open up about his own problems. One day I went to hangout with him and he told me that he thought he had OCD, so after a few months of kinda walking him through what he could be experiencing, he decided to see a therapist. He came back and told me he had been diagnosed with OCD, now I won’t say what kind because that’s his personal business but now I’ve just been trying to help him out when he’s with his therapist. Anyway, long story short, I find it hard to help him in these hurtful times for him and I could use some advice on how to care for him. I know you would probably think I’d know exactly how to help him since I’ve dealt with OCD my whole life, but now everyone is the same when it comes down to it. So that’s my life story at the moment (sorry for making it so long for people to read), but if you have anything to say please do. Have a nice day!

Guys! I have harm OCD and really need your help here! Anyone else got hit by I thought, Which didnt come up like a "What if I killed him?" question but more like a sentence like "Kill him" randomly! I am sooooo afraid of phycosis and hurting the ones I love. What if this is i skizofrenia thought? Someone help! I am really terrefied right now!

Has anyone else dealt with analyzing “emotions” (is this attraction, or is this anxiety, etc.) with their HOCD and what types of things helped you get through it or cope with it?

Anyone else feel like the worst part of all this is “feeling” like you actually like this. In other words you’re afraid that certain thoughts or feelings are “proof”?

anyone struggle with a really weird self image?

Sigh, I don’t know how I’m almost at the end of my second year at university and still haven’t made a solid group of friends. Like I have acquaintances that are awesome and that I love running into, but only one person that I can say “hey my brain is about to explode and I feel like crying until I throw up can I come lay on your couch”. You know. Those friends. I’ve known her since we were like 9 and she’s nice and all but her personality just isn’t my favorite. And when she’s busy, I’m at a loss and just lay in my room until it gets dark and I’m hungry. And I ruminate and ruminate and ruminate. Today wasn’t a good day at all. A stranger yelled at me, I felt particularly fat and ugly, and I spiked a little bit earlier. I just wish I had more friends, like in high school. Anyways. Just having a pity party. ?

I’m having a serious panic attack right now, and I really need some help. Warning this might be a little TMI: I went to the washroom and noticed that some of my stool had some black splotches in it. My mind has immediately jumped to the conclusion that there is a serious bleed somewhere in my digestive tract and that I’m dying, despite the fact that I haven’t been vomiting, haven’t fainted, am not in any serious pain, etc. The panic is so bad, I can barely catch my breath, I’m shaky and feeling fantom cramps across my stomach. I am on the verge of tears and I am so scared and I can’t calm myself down. I just can’t get the thought out of my head that I am internally bleeding to death and that I am dying. Can anyone help me? Thank you ?

Hey! I’m a teenage girl who has fully recovered from Harm OCD. Feel free to ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them!!

My life is a cycle , wishing I was normal and that I didn't have these intrusive thoughts then when they start to go down my mind says now u r accepting the disgusting thoughts so then I think of the thoughts to see if I get anxiety still and it starts all over again =/ fml can anyone relate or have any tips for me

Having intrusive thoughts about being schizophrenic again. This is so frustrating. I had almost completely gotten over it. Now my brain is having me questioning if I’m hearing voices. I know logically I’m not but OCD is so convincing. Has anyone else experienced this form of OCD?

Who else here doesn't work? I can't at the moment because of this awful ocd. I feel like an absolute failure but what I have tried in the past I've ended up quitting. I'm almost 20 by the way.

I’m scared it’s not OCD and it’s something worse.

I just told my boyfriend some really serious stuff about my OCD and false memories. And it just doesn’t seem like he cares about anything. I don’t know if I want to be with him anymore. I just don’t want to be alone. He’s the only person in my life

Dear OCD Mums, you are not alone. I had intrusive thoughts about deliberately breaking my newborn's neck. I want to talk about Post Partum OCD and particularly harm obsessions which can be directed from you towards your new baby. Yes I had intrusive thoughts about violently murdering my baby. I wince writing that even now. I also thought what if my arms suddenly spring open and I let the baby fall on his head on the hard floor. These were my darkest days and it took me years to figure out what was happening. So if I am to share something here about my OCD it is this because it was by far the worst symptom I've experienced. If it's happening to you I hope it will help to hear that this IS OCD, you're not alone, you don't want to harm your baby and things will get better. I had severe undiagnosed Post Partum OCD after my first child was born 7 years ago. In fact it started when I was still pregnant. By the time he was born I could barely hold him if I wasn't sitting in a safe armchair where he couldn't really fall even if I let go. I was terrified to be alone with him for fear I would turn out to be a murderous mother. In true OCD form I was completely horrified by these thoughts and its heart breaking to remember how hard these terrible days were even now. I was having anxiety attacks left, right and centre. I couldn't drive without getting into a blind shaking panic, I was wobbly standing in queues, I couldn't hold my baby comfortably while sitting or standing over a hard surfaced floor, breastfeeding was not happening - although I tried it was too much of a potential neck breaking position for me and the baby wasn't up for it either so I gave up. I was frightened, confused, exhausted and anxious to the point of being dizzy. I thought I would faint just going out for a walk, I felt at sea if I wasn't holding onto the baby stroller. After 3 weeks I went to my GP who said I had Post Natal Depression. I was surprised. I knew this didn't quite fit. Post Natal Anxiety maybe but I wasn't sure if that was a thing. I was 33 and I had never been treated for any mental illness before. I muddled through it, I had some CBT type counselling directed towards mindfulness and then lots psychoanalytic type therapy which focused on finding the root of my anxiety in my past. No one mentioned OCD. I tried to recover. I took 50mg of Zolof then 100mg then 150mg as I was prescribed. I had my second baby 4 years ago and second time around I had the psychological support I needed which led to my OCD diagnosis, treatment and recovery. As routine for me as a Mum who had 'anxiety' after her first child was born, during my second pregnancy my obstetrician referred me to a psychiatrist who specialises in pregnancy and post partum mental health. After my second baby was born she spotted I have OCD when in my supposed final appointment I mentioned sort of off topic that I couldn't stop thinking about spiders. I had a nagging feeling I should her about it and I'm glad I did. It's all OCD. She referred me to a Clinical Psychologist who specialises in OCD. I met and spoke to him and he said "You have OCD". Again I was surprised. I thought of people with OCD in movies who have cupboards full of canned soup all lined up etc. He helped me learn all about OCD, guided me through Exposure Response Therapy, talked to me about ACT Aacceptance and Commitment Therapy and reintroduced me to Mindfulness. I haven't needed to see him for over a year. I still have OCD but it doesn't bother me much right now. I can live with spiders and babies and just about anything : ) Just now life is calm and over the last 6 months I've very slowly tapered the meds down to...nothing. I would be glad to hear your stories girls. It feels good about mine. All the best to you all.

I don't know how to take erp to my process of creation in writing... it's so frustrating.

Hi, I'm new here :) I haven't yet met someone with the same type of OCD as me. I have relationship OCD and my obsessions switch between doubting my love for my partner and wondering whether my partner will leave me. I become obsessed with their physical flaws until I convince myself I'm not attracted to them and I struggle to feel connected. Currently, I'm afraid my partner will fall out of love with me and I'm afraid that they can't promise me that they'll stick around. I feel really alone and I don't have many people to talk to. Can anyone relate?

Can anyone who has recovered, or is beginning to recover, describe that experience for themselves? I feel like a lot of us are just living by waiting for the next time we’re gonna be triggered and that’s no way to live. Thanks❤️☺️

does anyone feel like ocd can numb you and desensitize you? i feel like that’s been happening

How do you know it's a false memory/OCD and not something that actually happened? I feel like a terrible person. I'm a very creative person, and the more I stress about whether I did this bad thing the more it seems real. The worst part is is that I have no way of reassurance without sounding crazy. I have ROCD and I randomly started obsessing over the 7 months of our relationship whether or not I've cheated on him. Even though I love him more than anything and I would never do that! I'm constantly triggered by coworkers or classmates that I've previously found attractive or liked and/or I know they've liked me or flirted with me. I'm at the point now where I'm rereading simple texts/straightforward texts of these people asking me about school work or if I could cover a shift trying to find proof of something I can't remember. My partner knows about my OCD and is very understanding and supportive. I feel like I'm living a lie. When this first started my rational brain knew this wasn't real, but the more I become obsessed the more it becomes more distorted. I feel guilty for being happy. I just want to be guaranteed it's not real so I can move on with my life. It's moving to specific people now and it's scaring me how real it feels.

Is this even ocd anymore it feels so real and like I’m in denial.. I’m not seeking reassurance but I just don’t know what to do anymore. I got an intrusive sexual image of me getting a baby’s hand and making it finger me and got the feeling as though I may want to do it.. I feel really guilty and ashamed. I would never do that to a baby the image is weird to me but I don’t know it’s like I get this feeling that I may want to do it I know it’s just a thought but I feel like a weirdo