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Does anyone else face depression and OCD? It’s relentless I’m struggling so bad….yesterday I just laid on the couch all day long…sleeping, like wtf I don’t want feel like this anymore…

Is there a correlation between ocd and humour? I dont mean to be insensitive, as everyone on here is really going through it, as am I, and maybe don't want to even think about that rn. However, I was just wondering if the common ocd theme of over analysis could lead to a different way of looking at the world. The acute awareness and perception leads me to noticing little details, which outlined, could be funny. I know I definitely use humour to ease my anxiety and ocd symptoms. I feel like using it to shine light on whats going on in my head might help me get a better perspective. Idk. Was just wondering what other people's views were on that. Hope everyone is doing well, one day at a time!

So in my head I came up with a love story ever since I was little I would play it out in my head or whatever or even pretend I’m the main female character but never put it on paper it was just something that I did growing up that just calmed me down I guess I don’t know but as I got older I would pretend I was the main character and the guy that the main character was with was the love interest and well yeah I’m sure you get the idea. We before I met my best friend or even knew who she was or her son, the male main character has the same name as my best friends son and I feel so horrible about it even though I had no idea at the time I didn’t even know anyone personally with that name so when I found out he had the same name I changed the name and moved forward but because the character in the story in my head had the same name and I would pretend to be the female main character and things escalated between characters if you know what I mean kind of like a fantasy sort of thing during me time and when I found out her son had the same name my ocd is twisting it trying to make it seem like it was something else and it never was and now I cringe and wish the male characters name wasn’t the same because it triggers my pocd so badly and I am trying to hard to do exposers especially when her son is around because he’s almost 3 and I’m trying to not be so afraid anymore but it’s hard when I can’t have one second of peace when OCD is trying to feed me lies that I know deep down aren’t true. I do know that sometimes mothers name their kids after the father so I’m sure that’s something other people deal with being uncomfortable wise but ocd takes it to a whole other level of uncomfortable and makes 10x more scary but that’s the best way I can explain it. Im just really worried if I should be concerned even though I had no idea at the time and changed it I just keep remembering using the main male character and his name during ya know time and now I feel so horrible about it like I said I had no idea at the time I would end up with a best friend who’s son has the same name. OCD sucks

It’s so crazy how even though you have been through this a million times, when a new thought pops up or an old obsession resurfaces, it feels impossible to get through. You know the tools and you recognize the feelings, and yet somehow “this one” is different. It’s more serious, more disturbing, it’s a sign of your true desires, etc, etc. Taking the risk of uncertainty is not worth it “this time”because the consequences are too severe. Every time you start to make progress on an obsession or even just part of an obsession, you think you are finally getting the hang of it…and then ocd hits you back and it’s like all the confidence and progress you were starting to feel like you were developing gets blown away and in that moment you are back at the beginning. Ocd is truly diabolical and so smart. It causes so much suffering. I am so tired of making progress or even just maintaining my current obsessions just to get smacked in the face with something “different” and somehow “worse”. It is exhausting. One thing I never considered I would need to fight ocd and use erp was stamina. I really hope everyone out there struggling with ocd is doing ok. If you have ever felt like this, just know that I am in that same place.

My therapist said I don’t have ocd and my intrusive thoughts and mental obsessions are just from anxiety/depression. I don’t really understand it and think anxiety with compulsion is literally what ocd is. I asked my mom to explain in and I kinda got it but still am confused. My therapist also said it matters more if it effects my daily life which it does daily and I think is a big part of what causes my depression. Anyways my mom was pretty upset with me and says she thinks I worry to much about having ocd. She says I want to have it which is not true. Is it possible for me too be like this is an intrusive thought and still use exposures to help even if it’s not ocd? Idk I’m just really confused and need advice.

I am in a really bad spot with my ROCD right now. I have been having terrible fears that I married the wrong person and that I don’t actually love him. One of my obsessions has been surrounding a guy friend of mine from a few years ago and wondering if I would’ve been better off married to him (we never dated, I was dating my husband then). But now I’m worried because If OCD attaches to what we love and value most, I’m concerned that I truly love that other guy - and even if I am having OCD, the fact that I’m obsessing over him/his wife and the idea I might’ve been better with him, doesn’t that mean something??? Anyone else experience this? I feel so beat down.

So I have watched pornography with the same sex atleast once or twice in my lifetime. Also I’ve seen gay scenes in movies & never had any intentions on doing anything with the person or thought too much about the scene. I’ve always been into women from the time I was a kid all the way up to now. Sometime towards the end of lastyear I still watched pornography but straight sex pornography and my mind just shifted with unwanted images unwanted thoughts of things that go against my morals and sometimes those thoughts and images bring me into a loop of overthinking etc. Usually when I have a weird thought it would simply be “ahhh that was a weird thought” & I can move on with my day. It has effected me to the point where I avoid people of the same sex even friends because in my head I’m always questioning “what if this happens? what if I lose control? “ I have a girlfriend and she’s very special to me. I love women. It’s driving me crazy to the point where I can’t even function properly. Does this sound like OCD ? To be more specific SO-OCD ?

Hello, I hope you are well. My name is Josephine, and I suffer from a severe ROCD. Yesterday (at midnight), my mother’s vehicle was crashed in our driveway by an inebriated driver and it was quite a dilemma. We called the authorities, etc. The neighbor, who had overheard the clash, came to converse with us while the others negotiated. And so we began conversing and discussing several topics, many topics. Finally, she introduced the subject of relationships. “Oh, you’re so pretty. Do you have a boyfriend?” she curiously interrogated. I was rather astounded, as I supposed the news of my relationship was statewide (euphemistically) at that extent. And so I replied, “I do. His name is Michael.” She continued interrogating me on the matter and I did not pay importance to it. She simply was curious, I thought. However, at some extent in the conversation/interrogation, she suggested I’d postpone our plans for marriage for the future: “Listen, you’re really young. You’re studying a career, and it is important you devote wholly to that. A man can wait. When you finish your career, and begin working, you can wait some time and then marry. Who knows? Maybe you find yourself a richer and older one then.” That final remark infuriated me. Yes, I am very young. I acknowledge I am also studying a very demanding career. But this-marrying the love of my life- is my dream. I have a part-time employment and so does he. We have many savings and we aspire for a life together. When she made that remark about finding myself an older and richer man (she did it jokingly, of course, but simple jokes like these trigger me) I began thinking of my past. When I was a child, my plans in life were to marry an elder wealthy (and American) man. I have been attracted to elder men my entire lifetime; however, when I met Michael, I only had eyes for him. I began thinking perhaps I should just acknowledge I am exclusively attracted to elder men. But that cannot be true because I fell in love with a man one year older than me. When a person falls in love, they begin feeling that honey sweet sensation whenever they look at their lover. It is inevitable. I have always felt this looking at Michael. When the ROCD began, however, it was somehow “blocked” by the intrusive thoughts, rumination, etc. I have been overthinking this so much, I think I have lost all of my sentiments for him. But then again, when the ROCD began, I felt that way as well. How do I stop these insecurities, this uncertainty, from blocking my sentiments, my love? Help me, please. Thank you all for reading this. I wish you a happy day, and may God bless you all.

Hi everyone! I just wanted to share a little about my story and where I'm at now in my life after the help of NOCD. At 17 years old I started having my Pocd thoughts and I was absolutely terrified! I didn't want to get out of bed, eat, or do anything at all. I was constantly like that for almost two years, daily I depended on my compulsions to be able to get up and do things, little did I know the compulsions were just making me much worse. Thankfully I had someone refer me to NOCD, and I had an amazing therapist. I was pregnant and really struggling so hard to become better before my baby arrived. My therapist helped and worked with me so hard and tremendously, I couldn't thank her enough she was amazing! Now I'm able to take care of my child my OCD is so mild and I get to live the best life I can. If you're feeling lost, or hopeless please get help through NOCD. It is absolutely a life changing therapy. Have faith, stay strong because you too can overcome your OCD!❤️ if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask.

My mind keeps jumping to conclusions that I’m in denial and i have to come out , crazy how a thought went from “what if I’m gay” to “what if I’ve always been” to “you’re bi” to “you’re gsy” to full on statements and conclusions, like coming out and being in denial , as homophobic as this sounds everytime i see something gay i get an ick im not disgusted, very slightly, i was never like this, now I’m contemplating if i ever even liked women when i know i have before. I have nothing against gay people but i just don’t wanna be gay , saying that makes me feel uneasy which makes me more confused. Idk what I’ve become at this point .Now I’m doubting every life decision I’ve taken and gosh i wish me and my ex lasted, i was happy, even when we fought i remember telling myself we’re gonna get through this we’ll be fine, here i am doubting everything, at the same time wishing me and her lasted, regretting how i treated her, then the ocd part uses the fact that i went soft a few times with her and lost all interest in women after the break up against me, and then its basically convincing me to say that i am gay, none of these adds up . My brain keeps showing me images of being with men and happy about it and i don’t want that, i don’t think i ever did, then it’s like oh movies and tv shows have influenced you to think you should be with women , and then I’m here like if that was the case I’d feel uncomfortable and feel out of place , I’ve never felt that, i felt good with women and all as long as she was clean didn’t smell ofc but yeah now I’m so fucking lost.

I’m in the stage of really wanting help. Anything I try I just “can’t”. I know that’s negative, but it feels so impossible. My therapist recommends meditating, I get sooo many compulsions because the whole time I have urges. It’s like “don’t press the red button” I feel like I have to move around. Cars freak me out so much. The thought of losing my boyfriend literally destroys me. It’s so severe. It feels like the end of the world if I don’t do compulsions. It is taking away my life. I can’t live in the moment. It’s my birthday on Thursday, and I just want to enjoy it. The compulsions are painful, distressing, time consuming, and embarrassing, yet the thoughts I have feel worse than that. Something that has helped is thinking, “you can’t control what happens”, but any quote I hear can’t process right. It’s almost like I’m addicted to compulsions/anxiety. I don’t want this anymore how tf do I get passed it.

I spent a long time completely lost in my OCD. I’ve had a few themes, and all of them completely distorted reality for me. However, when I reflect on my time spent with HOCD, it’s truly baffling to me just how much having HOCD completely distorts reality. I’m sure that anyone with HOCD automatically recognises what it means to have the theme. Fundamentally, it’s no different then any other theme, be it perfectionism, germ OCD, the list goes on; but there are superficial differences that make the theme seem much different than others. I’ve always considered myself straight; I never really contemplated the idea. It was just a quality I had, just as trivial as having blue eyes - people don’t truly meditate on the fact that they have blue eyes, generally. Of course, that was until the advent of this theme. It was like the ground beneath me fell apart, and all of a sudden, every single aspect of my once clear sexuality became imperceptible. I began, for about a year and a half, constantly questioning and attempting to reassure myself of who I was attracted to. At times, I’d be completely convinced that I wasn’t straight, and that I was at the very least bisexual. Even in those moments, a voice in the back of my mind disagreed, but I always doubted it to be valid, and my HOCD regarded it as a desire to be heterosexual, rather than actually being heterosexual. As the months passed and I grew more acquainted with obsessive compulsive disorder, I began to figure out ways that I could get over it. I learnt to stop avoiding my triggers, and to stop using reassurance to settle my triggers. This was enormous for me, and I no longer struggle with HOCD, basically at all. OCD is a chronic condition, so I’m not free of obsessions, I have the occasional doubt, and admittedly engage in reassurance behaviour every so often. But, if I was to be assessed, I would not be anywhere near the threshold for diagnosis - which is huge. I know I’m straight now, and the idea of my sexuality wavering in the future doesn’t bother me. Everything that used to trigger me barely effects me anymore. It’s true that HOCD stifles your attraction to your preferred gender, which is just the result of OCD being so good at completely distorting reality. Everything you feel with OCD, and everything you start to believe, is just OCD. I’m aware that may be reassurance, but I know that so many people NEED to hear that. I was in the gutter, and I did not ever see myself climbing out - but I did, and if I could, then there’s no doubt in my mind that everyone who was in my position CAN TOO.

i had a therapist who was a not good fit for me. anytime i told her my thoughts or compulsions she yelled at me for not resisting them even if they really scared me and i was really trying. this lead me to not want to tell her my thoughts. i then got yelled at for not being open enough. i really wanted to switch but she is trained in erp, so my parents wouldn’t let me. last session she told me i wasn’t getting better and have been doing therapy for too long. my therapist said she had no hope and found no way to fix me. this left me crushed. she also didn’t schedule another session at the end like she usually has always done. i’m so worried. am i uncurable? i’m trying so hard, i just want to get better? what do i do? has anyone else had a similar experience?

Gosh, I don’t even know where to start. I appreciate anyone who will read this whole thing. I’ve been having such a hard time with one specific intrusive thought and it’s suicide. It scares me so much that I’m thinking about it. I constantly have those thoughts because it genuinely terrifies me. I think of scary thoughts of what would happen if I ever did something like that. I tell myself it’s not true and that I never would, but I feel like my mind is trying to convince me that it’s true and that I’m having these thoughts for a reason. I always think “well I’m thinking of suicide for a reason, so it must be because I want to do it.” Gosh, it’s so exhausting. I even think of the scary ways to do it, mainly hanging and when I think of this, it puts me in such a bad mood. It’s so scary that I get sick to my stomach sometimes and feel so much anxiety. It even got to the point where I started to feel depressed and didn’t want to get out of bed. I wake up every morning and it’s the first thought that pops into my head because I know it’s something that’s just stressing me out so much. I’m in a place right now where I’m just thinking “I don’t want to think about this but why am I? Does this mean I actually want to? Maybe I do. I have no idea.” It’s putting me in such a bad place where I feel like it’s something that could actually happen. I pray that this thought goes away because it’s so tiring for me to go through this. Sometimes I’m even on the verge of crying because of it. Thank you so much if you’ve read all of this. I appreciate it

Once again ocd that happens every few months is back. Recently i’ve been stuck in a compulsion where i scratch the side of my cats back which is close to her butt. it’s right on the side by it. My mind keeps telling me i’m abusing her. Yes it’s close to her butt but i’m not touching it at all. She also loves when i pet her there! she goes crazy!!! and advice on how to deal with this?

i already discovered that my situation is about my inner self trying to protect me from being dumped. the thing is that what it’s trying to do is to make me dump first. dump before being dumped, if you will. this happens when i tell myself a story in which my boyfriend doesn’t love me or where he cheats on me, so my reaction is to end things before i get hurt. i hope i’m making myself clear. last night my boyfriend had dinner with some family friends and he didn’t text me at all for like three hours. we don’t do that ever, we are constantly sending at least some pictures or stuff, but last night there was nothing i started thinking and imagining things like that he ended up kissing a girl i knew was there, and that now he would talk to me until he had the courage to tell me what he had done. it’s all in my imagination but i started to get very overwhelmed. a few minutes after this he texted me and told me he was just spending time with everyone and didn’t have a chance to text me. i thought so much about like “if he was the right one for me he would have texted me something, i don’t think he didn’t have ANY chance”. at the end i calmed down and left it alone. we kept talking as usual. then i wake up in the middle of the light dreaming that i was dating someone else and with all these thoughts rushing on me. again, my inner self was trying to convince me i should dump him before anything painful happens. i guess that was just my subconscious speaking but it scares me a bit more to think that. it’s like the fourth attack i’ve had in the last two weeks and i’m tired of it. i just want to enjoy my relationship and to be chill about these things happening.

For the past two days in a row I’ve taken Flexeril, which is a muscle relaxer, and a full dose of Tylenol p.m. I know that makes my brain fuzzy but all I want is to sleep. Just silence and for a while I get that and sometimes it even makes it so I can’t get anxious. But then I get it also makes it so I can’t get mad or at really happy at any genuine level you know? As in it it muffles everything. And obviously that has a downside. I took the Flexeril and Tylenol p.m. around 10 1030 maybe I don’t know and went to bed at 11 something maybe. And woke up at 6 something and woke up arguing with myself. I woke up smiling saying I don’t but I want boobs to go away I don’t want them. I’m scared I’m smiling in noticing women more than I would like I’m desperately terrified I’m changing and I don’t want to I want my old self back my old sexuality back. I don’t want anything added or altered. I’m scared I’m noticing things more like I tried to say but I don’t want the beauty I don’t want to see women as that kind of beautiful you know? I don’t really care if it’s like the mundane kind but i’m scared that I keep smiling and saying how I don’t want boobs I want them to go away and then I don’t want my guy to go away I do want him and all these words mixed together. I don’t want guys to go away everything is switching around my brain. And I’m scared I saw an advertisement for a movie and I acted like I do because I accidentally saw one of the other characters an actress in an all see-through dress at the 2021 met gala and I act like I do but I don’t actually like her boobs but I friend of the way I’m smiling almost like a guy. I really don’t want anything to do with this I don’t want boobs I want them to go away why did I try to go back to sleep after waking up at six to go to the restroom saying I don’t know when I want them to go and then I’m free now I can’t tell if it’s my heart or not I don’t want my heart to be involved in this I feel like screaming. My heart doesn’t my boobs and then I keep adding to go away my heart does my boobs to go away my heart doesn’t want boobs why did they insist I don’t I want them to go away now I can’t swallow like I can’t tell what my heart wants my body doesn’t want boobs my heart doesn’t really either I can’t tell. I don’t want to stop caring I want this to go away. Why did I say that if I’m straight I don’t want boobs I want them to go away and I don’t like the way I’m smirking almost like a guy like I do I don’t want my guy to have boobs and I don’t want the female character from the movies boobs I keep I’m scared I do I don’t like that I’m scared to do I don’t like the structure I don’t like boobs I keep calling it attributing positive things to it that I don’t want to boobs are not hot I don’t want them to go away oh my God I just said I don’t I want them to go away this is exactly what I’m talking about if I’m straight why would I say I don’t want them to I don’t I don’t want boobs and now I feel worse when I say that I don’t want them what is happening I don’t want to change I don’t want boobs I don’t want them to go away I don’t want them and I’m scared to call them I don’t want them to be hot they’re just heavy and round and I’m scared I don’t like the way they hang out I’m scared I’ve just condition myself too I don’t like the way boobs I can’t swallow my tongue is getting really swollen. I don’t like boobs I don’t like I’m scared they’re not hot or just heavy and round I’m fine I can’t help it like I don’t want to like the way they hang on the chest I’m scared I keep calling them but they’re not I’m scared I am I don’t want to be gay I don’t wanna be like a guy I don’t I’m scared them to use them I keep calling them thinking of calling them they’re not delicious I don’t want fat deposits I feel like screaming I want them to go away all my God help me please called someone help me I don’t wanna move some of them to go away I make faces like I don’t but I want muscle not fat and I keep acting like I don’t want the actress her boobs are not hot I don’t want the weather I’m scared I don’t like I’m scared I don’t want to understand how you guys feel I don’t want fat deposits I don’t want boobs please help me I miss boys I don’t want those to go away I’m not pectorals and boys I don’t want boobs muscle instead of fat I’m scared I’m too used to thinking of boobs and that I but I don’t actually want them and I feel worse when I say that I don’t want them but I want them to go away I don’t want boobs I’m scared I’m so used to them and I keeps calling them I don’t wanna be bisexual they’re not hot or delicious please I want them to go we can put someone make them go away I’m on my son stead of fat I keep thinking of her boobs in the naked see-through dress I don’t like the way I don’t like the heavy where they hang no I want muscle please tell me I want help I’m spiraling I need help I want a mom but I can’t I I said I don’t I want muscle I’m trying to have irrococably changed and I don’t want to help me God please I miss muscle I can’t stop thinking of fat like it is what it’s not attractive I know I’m just gonna make faces at my guy I want him I mean he’s not my guy but I’d love to know him for years well not as much as I’d like in the knowing department but still I want him and he’s not a delusion I need help I don’t want boobs I can’t stop thinking about them is though why would I not want them to if I’m straight I want them to go I don’t want them I want them to go away I said don’t only I don’t like them at all. I’m scared I do I don’t wanna hybrid I just want muscle I don’t want fat I’m sorry for the stream of consciousness stuff.

Hey been going through some stuff the past few days and I just wanted to know some tips. I have been struggling with terrible intrusive thoughts about many different thing I feel like it’s something new every few weeks and I feel like a slave to my own brain. The new thing that has been happening that has been so mentally exhausting and has taken over me is constantly thinking that I’m not real and that I’m living in a dream and I just feel disconnected from reality. I can still socialize and stuff with people but it has been hard to focus and honestly just enjoy my day to day life because I’m constantly in my head

I haven’t had POCD intrusive thoughts in weeks (I did have a trigger which was the first time in months) and while I was having “me time” I got an intrusive thought of a kid and it was making me feel like I wasn’t anxious.. 😭😭😭 I only ever want to be with girls that are adults…

TRIGGER WARNING. so basically I was just watching a regular show that my mom put on, on hulu, and then it was a about a killer or whatever, and then the POCD thoughts started happening, like about earlier in the day it felt like I enjoyed these thoughts, and I didn’t have any anxiety afterwards, and now I have a bunch of anxiety from liking these things, and etc, there’s also a situation of a vlogged I watch, and I was just causally watching it, and it felt like I was turned on from him touching the outside of his diaper, and the only thing I did was clinche my stuff together, I am a female, i didn’t actually touch myself but that’s what i did, and I feel really bad about doing that, and too the point to where i have harmed myself, and have been in a depression about this… and it’s like how could I ever live with myself if that actually turned me on… I feel like i’m stuck and I just want my old life back.. was wondering if anyone else has went through something similar or if there’s someone I can relate too..