Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Me & my ex broke up a week ago but he sort of triggered me into remembering every lie I have ever told. I haven’t lied in like a year lol I feel so bad lying and I mean like big lies of course. And he called me a liar and dumped me cuz I lied a year ago about a detail of my past. Anyway, I’m sitting here & we’re going to have a talk about stuff and try to end it on good terms I’m assuming but I can’t help but feel so disgusting and awful and like a horrible person. I’m remembering another lie I told him when he kept interrogating me for months when we started to talk again about a guy & I lied about it. I want to bring that up for my own comfort of knowing I’m not just sitting here being dishonest. But idk if it’s an ocd urge or a selfish urge to clear my name and conscious or because I genuinely want to clear my name. I know it may do more harm than good but we already broke up idk what I have to lose? I do want us to be together again some day and I do see how we shouldn’t right now but I feel if I just start spitting everything out then it’ll just make him look at me even worse than he already does. I only lied also about my past because he used to lie so much and when we started to talk again I was so used to that prior relationship I thought it was ok to keep it to myself, I didn’t really have that option to say “it’s not ur business” I’m 25 now so I’ve grown a lot since then. Idk… I feel like shit

Having a really hard time because I cheated on my boyfriend (i ate something after a friend and thought about our lips both touching that and thinking as if I kissed them and I did it on purpose and liked it) I hate myself and don't want my boyfriend to leave me. I don't want to cheat. I

at my job my director sent 2 little girls to her room because they were disruptive and I went back into my classroom. Then I had to remove another child from my classroom and as I was seating this child one of the girls walked out the front door of the building and I saw her get out but no other teacher was in my room so all the other children were alone so I went back in. But my director was the one who took them to her room so she said its her fault but I feel awful about the fact that I did not say anything, the child is completely fine. Nothing happened she is ok but I was also thinking about the other kids being alone. Idk if this makes sense but im having a lot of internal anxiety and guilt about it and its making me feel terrible about myself. I'm worried I am going to revert back to how I was when my ocd was first diagnosed. It was awful. I wanted to die and I was at rock bottom. I do not want to go back to that.

She had me read my fears as an exposure but for some reason I wasn’t that triggered idk if it’s because I already know my fears so reading them was whatever or because I was reassuring my self but now I’m worried that it wasn’t bothering me maybe it’s not ocd or I don’t care anymore has this happened to anyone ????

TRIGGER WARNING 18+ I was literally just moving me dog towards the end of the bed, the way my hands was on her was like her lower back and it makes me feel like I wanted too touch that area on purpose, and then same when i’m changing my clothes, or if i’m doing something or wearing things it makes me feel like i’m doing it on purpose or it’ll feel like that, same with if i’m doing something sexual, it’ll make me think i’m doing it because of a wrong feeling, or if i’m trying to cuddle my boyfriend or just stretch out my legs in a way that a certain body part would move, makes me think i’m doing something too an intrusive feeling or thought? and I think why I’m so cautious is because one time I was enjoying myself, i’m a sexual way, and I had an intrusive thought come in when I climaxed or whatever and it felt like I liked the thought, but even then I was trying too do a compulsion too show myself you don’t like that stuff, and then afterwards when I was done, I started too freak out was throwing up, shaking, because it felt like i liked the thought or something like that, but then again I feel like it’s completely different from how my brain is making it, so I usually try not too look into that situation because it bothers me, and it’s so hard for me too tell with the intrusive thoughts and etc because I have sensations or whatever, so I guess when I have that I automatically think I like the thought, but then again there are times where it bothers me or it feels like an anxiety feeling, regardless if i “like the thought” or not, it’s just really confusing, and sometimes I worry, which I have heard so many people feeling like that, but it’s just confusing, and it’s like regardless if I feel like i like the thought or not I still get anxious, because I don’t wanna feel like I like the thought, or just simply trying too tense my body so I don’t have a response or whatever it’s called, Idk if anyone can relate just thought i’d share, because there’s times where I don’t like the thoughts and there are times where it feels like I like the thoughts and I get worried, and then like I said there are times where i’m tense so I don’t feel like I like the thoughts because it freaks me out when I feel like that, but I have intrusive thoughts towards older people, family, my dog, kids, and it was just kids at first but now it’s towards all of the above including my friends.

Anyone recommend a hair shampoo for strengthening hair and stop hair loss . I’m 19 . My hair is not damaged , however it tends to feel weak as I slick my hand thru it I know there’s little follicles that tend to fall out . I’m not trying to make it such a big deal, but I’m convinced my hair isn’t same and healthy as it was before . I like to use head and shoulders, bur it’s not doing me any effect . My hair feels weak and I just want it to grow out healthy and nourished good .

I have a therapist but she is not specialized in OCD and we do CBT, DBT, and ACT (soon to start EMDR) and I'm medicated for OCD by a wonderful doctor, which is also helpful for my PTSD, but I wish I could afford a therapist who knew what ERP was and I didn't have to teach my therapist about OCD and be scared of judgment. I am willing and mindful to face my fears - but doing it alone is scary. I wish instead of being the bull and making the first move, someone supported me. I am doing well on my own, and the best I can, and I know that's all I can do and maybe I will not get ERP guidance. There are no in-person support groups so I faced my fear (this post itself is an exposure for me) of being online. I accept this. But it would be nice. nOCD doesn't accept either of my insurances, nor are there therapists outside nOCD that accept it. :( It feels like I have to do it to survive but I am hopeless researching for someone who takes the insurance.

I liked boys my whole life (I’m 19) and I still do, but I struggle with a lot of stressful thoughts. One of them are hocd. And now I can’t even enjoy looking at boys anymore, at the beginning of these obsessive thoughts I could but now I cant because I think about it so much. So I don’t get to like anyone or when I do it goes away fast. I’ve had an relationship for a year, he broke up with me 7 months ago, we’re still good and I feel like I’m finally over it. In our relationship I had obsessive thoughts about our relationship (rocd) and now that’s gone and I have hocd thoughts. Is it just stress? That I don’t get to like anyone now or am attracted to anyone? In the weekends I sometimes am attracted to a boy (I’m a girl btw) Im also insecure btw.

If you have maternal OCD and you still spend all day with your child and and you still have these thoughts, how does exposure therapy help if you're already spending all day with them but it's still happening ?

So I’m a straight female and but I watch both straight and lesbian porn. Both types of porn turn me on however in real life I am only physically attracted to men. The fact I watched lesbian porn never used to bother me until I went through a recently stressful period in my life and came off my meds. The OCD came back and is now making me question if I’m straight or not? And the existential question of ‘if I’m not attracted to females in real life then why am I watching lesbian porn and enjoying it?’ Please please help

What to do when ocd becomes too loud?

I am new, this is my first post. I know I have OCD. I think everything is dirty when I go out into public places. I don't want to touch many things while I am there. When I leave I like to wash my hands before I get into my car. I don't like touching door knobs, shelves, and anything that is touched by people often. How can I deal and overcome this problem? Thank you.

When people say trust your gut it really triggers me. My gut feeling is telling me I'm gay, I feel that it's real. People always say that deep down you know your sexual orientation, but it's like deep down I feel I'm a lesbian? I just hate all of this.

nocd is not a church, nor is it a club full of people sharing the same believes. I had been pretty shocked to read that someone promised healing from OCD by God. No one should ever promise healing to anyone, it is even prohibited in the country I live in for doctors to promise healing, because no one can guarantee it. It is different, if people say, that their faith helped them and that God exists for them, but saying God did this and that, God loves you, God will heal you, is just pressing one's faith on to others and I would really appreciate, if people would stop doing that. I am sure, if I made posts saying I know the truth and the truth is that God doesn't exist, that would cause a sh... storm. So equal rights for all of us, no preaching.

This is gonna be a lot, but I know the truth and I am determined for others to know the truth and be set free with God. I don’t know if you guys know but there is a God who died on the cross for you to live in perfect relationship with God. You aren’t struggling with OCD because God hates you, OCD exists because in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and he created Adam and eve. And he said everything was perfect. But God gave us free choice, to choose him in perfect life or to choose to live on our own and without God. Long story short Adam and Eve chose against God, and that’s when all the bad things like sin, depression OCD, anxiety, sickness anything you can think of that’s a bad feeling is because Satan hates us. And when we chose against God in the beginning we chose the opposite of God even if you didn’t realize it, choosing against God is choosing the opposite of God which is Satan. Anyways this is when the world fell out of perfect relationship with God. But God loved us so much he sent Jesus to walk earth with us and then eventually die on the cross for our sins and all bad feelings and everything. So what that means for us is when we choose God and repent of our sins we can actually be in perfect relationship again and that means we get to be on this beautiful journey of healing with God. I have severe OCD, but if it wasn’t for God I wouldn’t be alive. I met Jesus one year ago when I attempted suicide and self harmed all the time. Somehow I just knew there was more for me, and I started praying and researching in finding people in the church that would help me. And one night I gave my life to God and I saw him and the way he saw me and I will never look back. And I’m really passionate about sharing this news, this really good news with you guys because Satan has lied to us and is trying to make us live in fear but God says that he has more for us. If you want a relationship with God, comment down below and I love to say the salvation prayer and give you some tools to walk with God. And there’s so much more to the story of Jesus and how he saved us and just so much more stories about how much God loves us. Please don’t be afraid to comment.

my mom and my brother put on the Joker and it started triggering me and making me feel crazy and like i could do all of those things? i feel very irrational and not like myself and i just want this to end

Maybe yes maybe no isn’t working for me anymore. A specific thought that bothered me before felt so real a month ago then I was able to get over it. Then it came back and it feels even MORE real than ever! It feels like I’m actually going to act on my thoughts but there’s a small part of me that’s like “you know you aren’t actually gonna do this” and I try to just say maybe? Or I try to just accept the thoughts and say “yea sure I’d do that” but it’s making my anxiety and my chest EXPLODE. A month ago it was easier for me to say “I never desired this” now for some reason it’s like as if I’ve always wanted this but I know I’ve never desired this it’s a weird feeling I can’t explain. It feels all so real and true and before this flare up I’ve never had the urge or desire or these thoughts EVER! It’s as if Ocd happened to make my fears come true or it was supposed to happen like this. I want my old self :( or at this rate i don’t even know who the old me was or if this is truly me. I see so many people post that this theme came true for them and that has been on my mind so much and it feels like it’s coming true :(( I wasn’t like this before but my head goes nooo you just realized it now :( but I don’t want any of this. Everyday is getting harder and harder.

Hi! I'm new here, I just wanted to share that I'm currently obsessed with my body image, how I look, my weight etc.. I think about it 24/7, I think about how horrible and disgustong I look, but I don't know if this can be related with OCD and I would like to know if someone has experienced this Thank You :(

how do you know if it’s rocd or you’re just not that into your partner?

Do you guys ever experience guilt for not liking someone? My mind tends to obsess over the fact I can’t like a particular person, then my intrusive thoughts surround that person.