Welcome to
the NOCD Community

So everyone, I'm 17 and unfortunately I'm still on 8th grade for some reasons. So I'm good at pretty much all of my subjects except for math. I'm bad at math and when I say I'm bad at math, I meant I'm terrible at math and this is something making me feel really bad.. Cause I'm April, it was midterm exam and I literally 6/50 even after I studied so hard. And in June, it was My first semester, 100 marks exam and even after I studied so much, during the exam, I didn't understand A THING. And did horrible. And I did answer to like 3 questions by copying my friend's paper. And guys, I failed most probably, the result is in few days. Guys I don't know what to do anymore... It's all so hard rn.. I'm studying math and practicing again but I can't see much improvement and I'm so scared guys... Can someone tell me what do I do? :(

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now , safe to say I have never loved someone as much as I love my boyfriend , he feels like home to me. We developed an instant emotional connection from the beginning and I’ve never felt so close emotionally to someone . What I have struggled with throughout the relationship has been the attraction aspect , it’s not that I find him unattractive at all, objectivity he is attractive - he works out he’s Arabic tanned etc it’s more there wasn’t this instant spark or that intuitive attraction. It’s something I’ve always found to be important when dating. I pushed through this anyway because there was no way I wasn’t going to carry on seeing him I became attached to him very quickly and him to me too. The sex is great , it’s always been great but I can’t put in words what feels to be missing exactly . I feel romantically toward him not just a best friend but I’ve never felt any intense lust. I want to be able to get over this ‘issue’ but in the last 2 years I have not worked out how to not let this bother me. A quick google search of ‘do you need to have physical infatuation in a relationship’ and I cry at the responses saying you can’t force attraction , it rarely grows etc. When I am around him I don’t want time to stop , he truly is everything to me and the thought of loosing him hurts me to my core. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being with someone else and us just being friends , not in a selfish way just that we have a very special bond . We are meant to be getting married next year , we’ve spoken about it a lot and I cried tears of happiness when he mentioned the idea . I feel like the worst girlfriend in the world sometimes for having these doubts , particularly as we can both read each other like a book so I’m sure he picks up on these insecurities- what can I do I feel so lost ??

Can ocd effect sexual attraction?

Today was an awful day It felt like I was enjoying the thoughts that I had and now that it's 3 AM I feel horrible and can't sleep because of the anxiety, I've used porn multiple times and even had thoughts about it that I felt like I liked and felt guilty for it but got aroused by the women and to make matters even worse? I was sick! so I cannot even think properly, I'm starting to have feelings of dissociation and I feel like this isn't OCD anymore and these groinal responses are real arousal, I hate it so much, what can I do?

Hi all! I’ll try to keep this super short so if you need more context, please feel free to ask! My partner and I broke up just over a year ago now. We were together for four years. My ROCD was always partner-focused, with deep fears and triggers about his faithfulness and his morality. Even after breaking up, for almost a full year, my anxiety and constant ruminating is heavily, heavily focused on him. It’s exhausting. After we broke up, he told me he had sent a few flirty messages to a good friend of mine (the messages were sent about 6 months after we had broken up). He apologized, and told me he ended the conversation right away, and felt guilty about it. She never told me. I asked her about it, and she thought it was no big deal. It really caused a huge spiral of anxiety for me and deeply affected my trust towards her (and him of course, but that’s obvious). Anyway, in one of my deep anxiety spirals after this happened, I was knee deep in checking his social media and noticed he and another good friend of mine had also unfollowed each other. When I looked back on their “likes” for each other’s posts, it looks like they dropped off around sept. 2020. So I’m guess the unfollowing happened either then or shortly after. This was almost TWO years ago. But my mind immediately went to “I wonder if he was also flirting with her?!”. This caused an extreme panic attack. This friend of mine has been living abroad for 3 years, there’s no way anything happened between them. I don’t even know if they’ve ever talked privately. But the only reason I can think of them unfollowing each other is if he was inappropriate with her via DM. Anyway, fast forward to today, she’s back in the country and wants to hang out on Thursday. She was one of my best friends and I didn’t ever have a negative thing to say about her. But the thought of seeing her is completely terrifying to me. I have a pit in my stomach that will be there all week. I can’t imagine all the anxiety. And I’m terrified my anxiety will get the best of me and I’ll start asking her or interrogating her about this, asking if anything happened and why they unfollowed each other. I know it sounds crazy. Or maybe it doesn’t. But I’m so sick over this. I love this girl and don’t want to lose a friendship over something that MIGHT have happened years ago. But I can’t see her. I know avoidance is wrong but I honestly don’t feel like I can see her. Any advice is so greatly appreciated.

I am 100% positive that my mom does not care about me or love me. Every time I try to go to her for help about anything mental health related, she just repeats the same thing every time, whether it’s “it’s all in your head.” or “Only you can stop it.” And I feel like she hates me. She says she understands but she doesn’t. She doesn’t know how much I want to give up because when I used to bring it up she would just scream at me. I want to give up. I hate my self and I hate the life I was given. I have no one. I’m absolutely terrified of the things I’ve been through and if they define me 💔

This is purely out of curiosity. Have any of y’all tried any psychedelics and if so what your experience with it as it relates to OCD. Did it help? Did it harm? Was it a mixture of both?

I am in a relationship, 3 years and 4 months today. I love her so much but i did alot of bad things to her in the first year of our relationship maybe even a little longer. It finally came out that i cheated on her. So then i began thinking of everything i did wrong and would have to confess to her even thoughts or dreams and if that didnt work sometimes i couldn’t remember if i did something and if i couldn’t remember then i just assumed i did it or if i had a slight feeling i did something then i assumed i did.i just want it to stop. I want to feel like a normal human being who can just let things go or just not think weird gross things in general.I want to be happy but obviously the things i can think or dream can hurt her feelings and i dont want to lie. I dont know what to do.

my partner threatens my ocd when they get mad at me like ive been terrible so iI get it but they threaten to lick door knobs and lick toilet seats and it scares me so much i feel terror ive never felt before ive been violent when im in an episode so i feel like i can’t talk but i sob and beg for them to pls tell me what was touched so i can process and know how bad it was and they say no they won’t tell me / “if you make one more sound im going to lick my shoe” like theyve just gone it and now got in bed and they said they rlly didn’t touch anything but idk for sure so im freaking out like i am on fire im so terrified idk what to do i srsly want to kms

I got prescribed 10mg of lexapro but I’m so scared of taking them because I’m afraid that it will cause me bad side effects or cause me depersonalization. Can someone give me advice? I’m afraid and dont know if I should take it. I’m so scared that I decided to split the pills to 5mg to start then increase to 10

It's attacking things that I enjoy doing, like my hobbies and passions, anybody got any tips on how to cope with it?

OCD is often highly misunderstood and stigmatized, and people often spend years—even decades—before learning that they have the condition. When people finally figure out that what they struggle with has a name, it can give them a completely fresh perspective. So how do people actually end up finding out that they have OCD? Here are some of the most common ways that people share with us: Searching their thoughts online. It’s very common for people to learn about OCD by Googling some of the thoughts or behaviors they’ve experienced. This can involve anything from looking for reassurance (“Is it normal to check on my baby every hour at night?”) to searching for information about OCD specifically (“Do I have OCD?”). Word of mouth. Other people’s experiences can be powerful and illuminating. It’s not uncommon for people to recognize their own OCD symptoms by speaking with a family member who also struggles with the condition, a coworker who received ERP therapy in the past, or a friend who shares their own intrusive thoughts. Social media. It’s probably not surprising to hear that social media has allowed many people to learn about others with similar experiences. Whether it’s from a personal story on TikTok or someone setting the record straight in the comments of a misinformed Facebook post, social media makes a wide range of information about OCD accessible. Podcasts, TV, and movies. Many popular podcasts about mental health or even related topics like parenting can give people access to information about OCD. And while many depictions of OCD in TV shows and movies are inaccurate or rely on stereotypes, they can lead people to recognize real OCD symptoms in their own lives. Mental healthcare providers or doctors. While it’s not uncommon, people find out that they have OCD from clinical sources less often than you’d think. When they do, it can come after years of confusion, misdiagnosis, and seeing several different providers in a search for answers. How did you first learn that you might have OCD? Reply with your own story below.

I need ADVICE. I love my boyfriend. He’s 20 and I’m 20. We started talking in 2020 I’ve always liked him and we officially started dating last year in August. (Almost our 1 year) prior to dating we were long distance talking border was closed due to covid and we would facetime. He’s an amazing guy. He treats me well but I don’t know why I’m questioning if I’m bi or lesbian or if I don’t want to be with him or if he’s the wrong guy for me. He’s my first ever serious relationship that is potentially going to or can lead to marriage I haven’t experienced this before. I don’t know if its because it feels so right that it feels weird. I don’t know if this is an actual issue or just OCD. I never had these thoughts/ feelings when we were talking / when we first started dating. I don’t see myself dating or marrying a girl. I’ve never crushed on a girl but I would do sexual things as an experience or whatever sure. Sexual things with a girl turn me on like lesbian p0!rn. I’m just so scared about this :( I don’t know what it is. How do I deal with it or figure it out? I can see myself marrying him but I’m scared that it could be the wrong decision because I could be lesbian or I could hurt him or if he’s the wrong guy Idk :(!

I have been dealing with soocd for a while now. It all started when I was struggling with my first true heartbreak. I remember during this time I would see TikTok’s about comphet and this would make me worried.Still it was stuck in my mind like it is now. I am now in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. There was no denying that I was sexually attracted to him in the beginning. But now it is making me feel as if I’m lying to myself. Granted, I have been scrolling through latebloomers and other subreddits. It is ruining the sex I once enjoyed. I am also always thinking about my past and trying to see if there were any signs of me suppressing my sexuality. It gets so muddy I can’t tell what’s true and not. I know it’s not bad to be a lesbian and I know my family would accept me if I was one. I just still feel like me not thinking I’m gay is denial. I just don’t know. It also doesn’t help that i keep seeing videos/TikTok’s of women having boyfriends only to realize they were lesbian the whole time. I’m confused at this point. Am I lying to myself. I never had worries about my attraction to men but now I find it hard to differentiate between romantic, platonic and sexual attraction. It’s tough it’s really tough

Do any of you have both OCD and Tourette’s?? Or a tic disorder? How can YOU personally tell the difference between a tic and a compulsion? I’m thinking there may be more going on with me than OCD alone! Thanks!

im so tired. i just want to fall asleep, but every time i’m about to im interrupted by another intrusive thought, some in the form of another person’s voice. it’s like my brain isn’t letting me fall asleep. any advice??? this is maddening.

I’m a mom of a 6 month old and my OCD has gotten so bad that my brain constantly convinces me that I’m doing something bad to her or feeling a gross way about her to the point where I don’t even want to be near her. This is breaking my heart because I love my daughter so much and had such a strong bond with her and this is killing me and making me sad/feel disgusting at the same time.

I really need some help or advice right now, im dealing with a whole bunch of thoughts n urges about my relationship, this isn’t the first time it happened it’s happened before and i let all those thoughts n urges win and i ended up ruining things with my gf at the time and we ended up breaking up, n i had felt some relief because i didn’t have those feelings or thoughts anymore but the thing is i didn’t want that to happen i wanted to be with her i wanted her back bc i loved her. so we fixed things and we are back together, everything was fine we were all good, i thought those feelings wouldn’t come back this time but they did. and this time they are convincing me i don’t feel anything anymore, that i don’t love her, that i don’t want to be with her anymore, and it’s really scaring me bc i know what i want, i want to be with her, i love her, she’s so kind n patient and understanding with me she’s never done anything to upset me, so i don’t know why i’m getting these thoughts again. they came up out’ve the blue and i started freaking out about it and crying since then. I js want these thoughts to go away so i can enjoy my time with her and not have her worried for acting the way i am. i really do love her and only want to be with her but my head is telling me otherwise. The first time i had these thoughts i was ignoring everything about them bc i didn’t like them i wanted them to go away. and i was ignoring everything about them. the stomach feelings, all the nausea everything, i did that for a couple weeks before i couldn’t anymore after those weeks i started being not the best person towards her anymore bc i was convinced i didn’t have feelings anymore i convinced myself i didn’t have any. i started texting people she didn’t want me texting i started texting like a friend i was js being not the best towards her. and i thought i didn’t care until we started arguing and we broke up. i realized i still wanted her, that i still loved her and always have, i realized everything i did and i knew i let all those thoughts, feelings, and urges win. and those ruined my relationship. This time i know what i’m dealing with and i don’t want to do the same thing to her again, i don’t want to deal with that again, i just want help so i can show her all the love she deserves and i also wanna do it for me so i don’t feel all these bad things. I just want to be okay.

When you just don’t know anymore. Is it OCD, is it me. Is it ocd because I’m questioning it? Can someone help me. I’m having a tough time with suicidal OCD and keep thinking that this is with me forever and it’s not going to get better. My ROCD has also started to kick in 😢 I feel like I can’t enjoy myself because these thoughts and feeling are just sitting over me

Does anyone feel a weird sense of guilt for not going along with the things people say you should do? Like breaking up, or finding the freedom in being single/polyamorous, *or insert whatever thing it is for you* (by the way, my intention is to not offend anyone who identifies with these things, just to share some similarities with folks who might be in the same position as me). Can anyone let me know the things they feel guilty for not necessarily doing? Because the brain makes it all seem so good and whatnot but I choose to stay with my monogamous partner and not break up❤️