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Sometimes I find things my bf does cringey and feel distressed and anxious abt it. Makes me think I don't like him and that makes it worse. Can anyone relate?

I have avoided knives for two years since i first started having ocd thoughts. I have only just educated myself on ocd and ive learned all about erp and stuff but i feel terrified whenever im near knives and today my mum wanted me to wash up and there was a knife in the sink and i was so scared, i didnt want to touch it or look at it and it made me want to run away i was so scared that id hurt someone and when i picked it up i felt like i was going to hurt someone and it’s terrifying i dont want to be like this. Is it right that i put myself in positions were im around knives? Like should i be avoiding them? I feel better when i avoid them but im starting to think its not the right thing to do.

Anyone struggling with trich? It’s something I’ve tried to dismiss for a long time and act like it’s not so bad. It’s gotten worse over the years and I’ve never had anyone to talk to about it. Would love to connect with others experiencing the same thing. For me it started in high school and has become worse over time. I tend to pull from specific parts on my scalp and can tell which parts by how short the hair is or slight balding. It usually worsens when my anxiety does. I knew it was bad when I started to notice I’m seen doing it in photos and videos. I feel like I’m doing it almost anytime I’m just sitting still or driving. If my hands aren’t busy I’m likely pulling. When living with my grandma it became a problem because she was cleaning up after me and now I’m living with my sister and worried it’s going to become an issue if they start to notice.

I feel really scared. For the past 3 months I’ve been having these thoughts that I don’t love my husband and I can’t stay with him. It’s gotten to the point that I have a hard time even being in a room with him because it causes me so much anxiety.I don’t want that to be true at all. I want to feel about him the way I used too. We have built a life together and have been through a lot. I am so scared I am going to lose everything. My husband, my pets, my house, my job. I can’t tell if this is rocd or if I truly don’t love him anymore. I probably shouldn’t even be posting this because it’s reassurance seeking.

i am constantly bored and i spent most of my days sitting on my phone. i really want to do something creative and that keeps me inspired and interested but i cant think of anything. i've also been thinking about joining a volunteering organization that helps stray animals but idk i'm shy and also i'm going to uni in october so i wont have much time for volunteering. any advice/suggestions?

Are any of you on here true followers of Jesus? Like all of these thoughts, anxiety, and panic attacks are so blasphemous towards the Word of God. My favorite thing to do is study the Bible for 2-3 hours every morning, public speaking, creating motivational video content for others., and just doing my best to represent God kingdom in the best way possible. All of this makes me feel so unworthy sometimes, like a voice will intensely say I’m not worthy to do such things because of the disgusting things that I’ve been exposed to or instructive thoughts that have went through my head. My only mission when I wake up is to spread the gospel and impact many lives, I would never in a billion years fathom having to deal with something like this. It’s so depressing, I even hesitate going around my students that I mentor because I feel so unworthy and contaminated. This sometimes feel like a dream, like a foggy cloud. It’s hard to fathom that thoughts I 100% hate would stick like this. I know Jesus will heal me, I know he will, my diligence have never been tested like this EVER. And I have been through so much Trauma in my life. Nothing makes me feel as uncomfortable as this.

I feel so guilty that I didn’t feel an instant spark or chemistry with my boyfriend 🙁 because when I look online all articles/peoples opinions tend to say romantic love stems from lust which is a primal urge that you have straight away with someone it doesn’t develop over time it’s either there or it isn’t ! Also people recall how they fell in love it was the easiest and most natural thing with no doubts . It bothers me to this day, I don’t even know if what I have is ocd or if I’m lying to myself I hate this .

Hi everyone, does anyone have any good tips for dealing with the constant feeling that everything is fated? From bigger things (eg the people you meet) to extremely mundane (eg the way I am sitting at my desk/holding my pen). I also keep having moments where I'm like 'everything happens for a reason', as it can be a comforting way to think in difficult times, but the idea of a higher power also scares me. I keep answering 'maybe' and 'anything is possible', but it is not really helping. Any tips for this would be really appreciated!

this is a really big part of my ocd, not being able to touch door handles/railing/really anything shared. if i dont have long sleeves i can find myself wasting time waiting for someone to open a door for me or putting myself in danger by not holding the railing while going down stairs (i also have knee problems). every time my fingertip even slightly touches a door i will run to wash my hands with in insane amount of soap and burning hot water. its gotten to the point where i am constantly wearing a jacket, no matter how hot it is, where i am, even if i dont need to touch anything. i need sleeves. does anyone know a way i can calm this down? without extreme stress? im sick of being so dependent on having sleeves.

We’ve been together for almost 4 years, we’ve lived together for a year. And she broke up with me, over text, while in another country. She’s coming back this month and then leaving to another state away from me. Completely unexpected and I’m just left heartbroken and confused. I’m so angry at her but also so sad? I’m just confused why she would do this and why in this way. I’ve been crying all night and just feel alone. I’ve never had to deal with my ocd alone, she was my only best friend and supported me a lot. I hope I can deal with ocd alone, I’m just scared of being alone and losing my best friend…

Hello, I’ve been feeling this strange feeling for a few years now but it’s really started to bug me recently and it’s making me wonder if it’s an OCD theme but I can’t find anything similar to it. Basically I get really anxious when I see people with certain personalities or traits, and my brain picks them at random kind of. For example, I randomly started getting anxious seeing goth people online. (I know it sounds silly but that’s why it makes me scared because I don’t know why I’m feeling this anxiety), for some reason my brain is telling me that they are immoral/disgusting and a threat even though personally I don’t feel that’s true, but my anxiety still arises and keeps replaying these feelings over and over to me in a loop. Some other people I’ve had that feeling towards before are “Indie” or “Hippy” people, frat boys, etc. I’ve seen some victims of traumatic events get anxious when they come across things that remind them of their trauma, like for example a color or people who share the same gender as their attacker, but I don’t have any trauma related to any of these people and they are such specific qualities that it makes no sense to me why I’m so nervous around them. You can laugh if you want because I honestly find it silly that my brain chooses to hyper focus on the lifestyles of these people, but it’s actually very distressing to me and I don’t know why. It feels like these people are completely alien to me and I don’t want to get close to anyone like that. I’m scared that I’m becoming paranoid or schizophrenic and that’s why I’m feeling these feelings. I just want it to leave, can anyone else relate to this?

Hello I’m struggling really bad with POCD. It’s the absolute worst because the intrusive thoughts are from my own child. I feel so sick like a complete monster to the point that have felt very suicidal I’ve gone to the ER they gave me some medicine but that didn’t help I’ve been looking for therapist in my area and they all seem to be fully booked or there isn’t any . I’m feeling very lost and I don’t want to give up on my family if anyone has any suggestions please let me know . I’ve looked in NOCD does any one have experience with them ? Should I go in turn myself in to inpatient. The thoughts get very Loud at night that it’s unbearable

Anyone else scared of SSRIS? I’ve read too many horror stories online that have made me terrified to take them.. plus I have suicide themed ocd and my biggest fear is them making me want to for real… I just don’t know how to get over this I’m just so tired of struggling and being stuck and letting these thoughts rule my life..

Trigger warning!!! Adults only!!! I'm not really scared, that I'd rape a child, as that would mean a series of actions and I know, that I would stop, before it happened. It's also a given that I'm not interested in doing something to a child, even though POCD tries hard to make me think otherwise. My biggest fear is, that I might follow an urge to touch a child inappropriately, not because I'm sexually interested, but as my OCD urge got so strong, that I just can't refrain, like the urge to keep washing my hands with hot water even though it hurts. Another fear is doing something others wouldn't consider as bad - like the string of my backpack touching the shoulder of a child, the heel of my foot touching the crotch of a child, while walking normally, the tip of my shoe laces touching a child, etc., solely that or in combination with my OCD making me believe I enjoyed that. Or me sleep walking, or being drunk, or reacting weirdly to medication, which makes me zone out, do something to a child and I'd forget all about it. Or that I interact normally with a child, but my OCD twists my memory and makes me believe, that I did something horrible. I know that ERP will bring me to the point where I have to walk past children in the supermarket, without me keeping a safe distance, without having my shoe laces tugged in to my socks and without holding on to the strings of my backpack. Thinking about doing that is killing me, it seems undoable, as I, not only my OCD, am convinced, that it's unforgivable to touch a child, or having an item of mine touch a child, when I have a POCD thought, which is constantly, when in the vicinity of children. With other OCD themes, it had been easier to do ERP, as I had been fully aware about my OCD thoughts being totally unrealistic, but with regards to POCD, I'm totally convinced that one must not have POCD thoughts in the vicinity of children. Can anyone relate? And if so, has anyone been able to successfully do ERP for POCD?

I’m entering a new relationship and am so so scared. Is it ROCD or am I having realizations that maybe we’re just not compatible? I really really like this person but I’ll just wake up with thoughts like “omg he’s not super affectionate and he’ll never be that - I want someone who is” and then just start spiraling. I’ve had other thoughts like - He’s not it. - I’m settling. - I don’t feel like he’s asking me questions, we’re not getting vulnerable. - I think I like him. - What if I don’t like him? - Maybe I don’t really like him. - What’s the point of continuing this if I already know it’s not going to work? - Do I know if it’s not going to work? I don’t know? - Why do I get so anxious when I have this thought? It must mean that my intuition is telling me it’s not going to work - I have conversations with other people that are easier Please help, is this OCD or am I just denying my own basic needs in a relationship and staying in it because I don’t want to hurt this person? Can anyone relate to these thoughts at all?

When I was in HS around 10 years ago I didn't have a good understanding around consent and had really inappropriate behaviour towards female classmates. My actions weren't super violent but they were also far from appropriate To this day at times guilt still eats me up even though I know much better now and would never do that. The OCD Obsesses over it to the point it makes me think if people knew I did this when I was a teenaged kid they wouldn't be friends with me today if they knew I touched people etc. When I didn't have a good understanding of boundaries. How can I manage this with my OCD? It won't stop

Does ROCD use past relationships and friendships against your current one?? For instance, it tells you like someone in your past (could be an ex or a friend) and that you don’t like your current partner?

Hi everyone, I’ve been meaning to write this for some time now, but kept looking for the “right time”. I suffer from relationship OCD (ROCD). I met my current partner about 3 years ago. We immediately had a connection and there was something different about him compared to my prior relationships. However, I didn’t feel the butterflies. I didn’t feel like I was on top of the world. And that’s when it started: ROCD. From as early as our second date, I remember thinking “am I attracted to him?” “Am I just with him cuz he meets all the criteria?” “Do I even like him”. A few intrusive thoughts turned into constant rumination, crippling anxiety and most importantly, fear. I constantly obsessed about whether he was the one, whether I really liked him, etc. I lost my appetite. I couldn’t sleep. I cried all the time. I started going to talk therapy where I would feel some relief after my session which was followed by an even stronger wave of anxiety. I would seek reassurance from friend after friend, my mom, my brother. In fact, I even had a hierarchy in my head of which person I went to for reassurance based on the level of anxiety I was feeling. I contemplated breaking up numerous times. My therapist once told me “why don’t you just take a break from the relationship?” And I nearly passed out from the panic and anxiety (this therapist was evidently not OCD trained and never thought it was odd that for 6 months straight the only thing I ever talked about was my relationship and the “rightness” of it). I compulsively googled things like “how to know if someone is the one”. I even started taking medication. I truly had no idea what was going on. Mind you, I am a doctor, board certified in internal medicine. And I did everything I could to diagnose myself, but I was clearly unsuccessful. My MD was of no help. Then, I opened up to a friend of mine who suffers from OCD (a different theme) herself, and she put it together. She told me to stop compulsively googling all the things I already had been, but to google ROCD. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I felt a huge sense of relief. I was not crazy and most impotently, I wasn’t alone. I signed up for a therapist with NOCD. I started therapy with an OCD trained therapist (Taylor Newendorp, he’s amazing btw). I practiced ERP diligently. Did I have days when I fell back in the traps of ROCD? Heck yeah. At first I did ERP via intentional exercises I was given by my therapist. However, the most effective and HARDEST ERP is doing it with real life situations. You can write out scenarios and sit with the anxiety it causes all you want, but the true moments of ERP are when you are faced with a real life scenario and you feel that jolt of anxiety. For example, I had been doing intentional ERP exercises for several weeks and making progress. One day, when my partner and I were just watching TV, a character on the show we were watching said “true love just clicks. It doesn’t feel complicated or scary”. I immediately felt like I was going to throw up. I felt 10/10 anxiety and that I had to break up right then. I remember thinking that I had been working so hard then why do I still feel this anxiety? But in that moment, I took a step back and said to myself “yup. Maybe that’s true. Maybe not. Maybe I’m in not in love. Maybe I am” and then I continued watching the show. The anxiety stayed for a long, long time. But I did everything in my power to not give in and talk about it as I always did with my partner. Or start ruminating. I let it sit there and I let myself feel the anxiety. It sucked, ALOT. But over time as I did that over and over and over again with every real life situation, I got better at it. I got better at leaving the thought alone. I got better at not seeking reassurance, ruminating, googling, confessing, checking, comparing. Fast forward three years, I just got married 2 weeks ago to the same guy! The guy who I was convinced wasn’t the one. Did I ever “figure out” the answer to whether he WAS the one? Nope. And I’ll probably never know because there is literally no way to know that for sure. Did I get my answers to all the other million intrusive thoughts? Nope. Do I still have days with those thoughts? Yep, but they don’t bother me as much. Learning to manage my ROCD has been the most difficult thing I’ve done in my life and this is coming from someone who went to medical school and pronounces people dead very frequently. But I’m here to tell you that you can get through it. It is hard as hell, but it’s doable. I promise you that I felt every emotion, physical sensation and had every thought you may have had. But you can do it. I really didn’t think I would ever get out of it, but I did. And I’m so proud of myself for it. I will never know if my husband is “the one” based on some unknown number of factors, but he is the one that I choose for me. Today, our relationship is much stronger and deeper than it would have been had we not dealt with ROCD together. This experience has been so difficult, but ultimately I’m grateful for it as it has opened me up to a love I didn’t know could exist. To anyone who may need help/support, feel free to message me. I am in no way a therapist and cannot provide what those employed by NOCD do, but can definitely provide support and compassion. You are not alone. Please get help from a trained OCD specialist. OCD does not have to be a life sentence.

After spending a nice and fun weekend with family, being in public for the first time in a good while, being at a waterpark, etc etc. I feel more confident in my thoughts, and my OCD hasn't been nearly as harmful to me. Spending most of the time around children alleviated the anxieties I had as I got used to them, I stopped seeing them as these pure vessels that you had to have the purest of pure thoughts to be around or else you were a monster, and saw them more as normal people. By the time everything was over, I was so comfortable around children, I even wanted to interact with my niece! She's adorable btw. I guess I got a taste of what ERP really is, and now I know for sure that if I ever get in my head again, this kind of therapy would be the best thing for me. So as a bit of a learnt experience from my OCD: keep in mind that even if you like being alone, isolation can worsen your OCD as other people start to become more of a foreign entity to you, including children. Also, I'm not saying that this small weekend made it completely go away. It simply got better and easier to handle. I'm sure if I had weekends like these all the time, it would get even better. I hope this helps others who were in a similair situation as me.

Haha so this is me being extremely vulnerable rn cause this is one of the thoughts that constantly circles in my head when I’m having a flare up like rn :’) But the topic of ‘sexualising fictional minor characters’ is basically an inescapable drama within fandom spaces no matter what fandom I’m in (even though I’m currently in a fanbase with basically no cannon minor characters: Transformers) And, I’m kinda on the fence about it all, but I think I lean towards the people who say you shouldn’t sexualise fictional minor characters because, y’a know, representation matters (and I don’t agree with Shota/Lolicon whatsoever) - but that’s where my OCD gets hung up Cause there’s another part of me that’s like- it’s fiction- we shouldn’t treat fictional characters as if they’re real people- but I also don’t consume that content anymore(I did when I was a minor) and y’a know, those fictional minor characters I had a crush on growing up and it feels weird now that you’ll be called a p*** for saying you like said character :’) But I don’t consume that content anymore, and generally tend to stay away from those spaces that have the drama/content the most (anime especially) cause all it does is make me anxious and flare up my OCD and make me scared of getting cancelled - despite never making that kind of content or consuming that content as an adult - like!?!?!????? Why is this what my OCD decides to latch onto and say “COnsUmInG tHAT cOnTEnT mEaNS tHAt YoU lOOKeD aT CP SO yOur A P*** nOW!!!!!!” Idk, I think I mostly just hate that people will call you a p*** straight up for that kind of stuff (which obvi, no one has to consume that content and you should be able to block whoever you want especially if that content makes you uncomfy/triggered or you just don’t agree with it) My OCD tells me “it’s cause you do actually want to look at that content because you obviously still have a crush on those fictional characters- and since everyone says that you’re a p*** if you consume that content- then you’re a p***” This all feels really dumb to type out, but does anyone else have this issue? It’s definitely what flares up my OCD the most and makes me think I’m just a p*** in denial (doesn’t help that I was a queer in denial on top of that so my OCD latches onto that too) : (