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I’m confused why I can’t imagine having a boyfriend! It’s kinda causing me so distress because I really want some and then their is another part of me that’s like no you don’t is this my anxiety or just me or could I be asexual? I also suffer from hocd

*Potentially triggering to those with Harm OCD* Hey there and thank you for reading my post. Anyone with any advice to offer would be much, much appreciated. A little context - I'm in my 30s and I've been an OCD sufferer since I was in my early teens. I had everything from moral/religious OCD obsessions to POCD. In the beginning, when I was a teenager, I had some harm OCD stuff where I would see violent images of people that I cared about, but for the most part, my OCD has centered on sexual fears and related moral concerns. I've had severe POCD obsessions for a good part of my life and they are lessening now (thank goodness). I've been married for just under a year and my wife is very understanding of my OCD. I love her. This is the first time I've been married (hopefully the only time I ever will be) and I hadn't been in many relationships before we got married so I'm always trying to figure out how to navigate management of my OCD with her and also just how to manage personality differences between myself and her. I think I'm a good husband. I certainly try to be the best one that I know how to be in big and small ways. Recently, we've had some worldview/political discussions that have led me to think that there are some fundamental differences between us. I've shared this concern with her and she doesn't seem to mind. The main reason I bring up things like this to her is for transparency. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I feel like she needs to know everything about me so that I'm not hiding things and she can make informed decisions about our relationship. This is likely an OCD concern. As is the case with any couple, some of our disagreements have led to me getting angry or frustrated. I'm not the type of person to express my anger outwardly. I can't imagine ever being anything remotely approaching verbally abusive to her. I know it's not healthy, but I sometimes just bottle up the feelings. One night, I found myself feeling really frustrated by a discussion we were having. I was driving at the time and I remember having an awful, awful, dark thought while at an intersection as I about to make a left hand turn. It was, "instead you could pull out in front of this oncoming car as it's approaching and it would hurt both of you". I was feeling frustrated and angry about our conversation. I also don't remember the car being so close to where I couldn't get around it, so I went for it. I pulled out in front of the car and accelerated really quickly so that we would be sure to get around it. She was on her phone, but joked about how fast I was driving. I think I was accelerating so quickly so that we'd get around the car and that we wouldn't be hurt. But why on earth did I pull out in front of it in the first place? I honestly believe that my irrational anger at that point led me to act irrationally. Later, I broke down and explained what happened to her. I love my wife. Did I honestly do something dangerous that would potentially hurt her? Or was I overreacting. She did say that the speed I was driving was "out of character" for me, but was I just speeding up to get us to safety after I'd made a reckless driving decision. I've been replaying this moment over and over and over again in my head since it happened months ago, trying to figure out if I'd really been driving that recklessly or if I was overreacting. For instance, was the other car so close that I would have deemed it ok to pull out even if I hadn't been angry? I don't know. I'll never know, but I've been replaying it over and over again trying to figure it out. Fast forward to the present time. I've broken down and apologized over this stupid moment to her multiple times. Her advice is to just forgive myself and move on. She loves me. I love her. I just I don’t think I necessarily have an anger problem, though I do find myself getting frustrated when we have differences of opinion. I think probably everyone does? Sometimes, I’ll have a fleeting thought about whether or not we’re compatible and I wonder if it’s ROCD. Recently, I found myself in another situation where I felt frustrated at her in a time of disagreement. And maybe this Harm OCD kicking in, but I’ve found myself having these terrible, violent thoughts in my head about her. Let me repeat, I would never, under any circumstances lay a finger on my wife, so this has me not only guilt stricken, but afraid. I try to the best husband I can to her and I don’t want to be with anyone else. We have a great relationship, but I find myself so often filled with doubt and fear of the future. I would love the perspective of anyone who has ever gone through something similar, or just an outsider’s perspective.

I’ve been dealing with hypochondriasis ever since a heart condition scare and cancer scare last summer. That led me into hyperawareness somatic OCD. Now every day I feel like I can’t fully take a deep breath, so I keep trying to, which makes my anxiety worse. Has anyone ever dealt with this? Any tips?

So I have confess to things I did in the past. And just note that I never cheated on my husband but did talk to alot of male friends back in the day 6 years ago when were just bf and gf now married 1 year married and been together for almost 7 years. But it was always for advice reason why I talked to my male friends. It's too long to explain long story short. I'm suppose to do emdr and for some reason I feel guilt so much guilt like if I cheated but I didnt!! I never even met up with these friends of mine. I know they were flirty at times but i ignore them when that conversation came about. Anyway I'm suppose to do emdr. And I'm afraid something somewhere it will come out that I cheated. I'm so scared I'm so happy in my relationship I dont want anything to ruin it. Why does this guilt roaming around. I hate this. I didn't do anything wrong it's been years I dont talk to anyone! Literally noone. Why does this haunt me! Like if my male friends will tell a lie to my husband that I have cheated but I didnt. Do you all understand me? I obsess over this everyday! Is better obsessing over this than suicidal thoughts everyday. I finally got a break from that. Someone HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ASAP.

Thoughts about marijuana and ocd anyone?? Personally smoking causes more anxiety until i build my tolerance and then i just want to get higher and higher so i stoped smoking lol. Just been sticking to alcohol lately. Hard to quit when ur in college and all my friends are alcoholics lol. Alc def helps me with ocd. I feel like my real self when I’m drunk all anxiety goes away

I kinda wish TOCD (trans ocd) was talked about more. I feel super alone.

How do you let the thoughts exist. I have the fear of committing genocide because humans do bad things. I've been told to just let the thought exist and be ok with it but I'm so scared of it coming true. Could you guys help me or give me advice. I know I'm a good person just so scared of becoming evil

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

does anyone else experience a weird feeling of emptiness when they don’t have an anxiety reaction anymore? it’s hard to explain, but it’s like my brain is confusing the anxiety reaction as one of desire or something.. it also makes me feel depersonalized in a way, maybe because i’m missing the ‘comfort’ of that anxiety?

I hate not knowing if it’s OCD or not. Any tips?

How would I do ERP(exposure therapy) for existential thoughts/ obsessions? My compulsions are researching things endlessly and reacting to thoughts in my head and doing mental compulsions such as thought suppression, analyzing, and checking to see if the thought is still there. I know exposure to things things is good so I heard a flash card I could use and right it down and randomly throughout the day read it and accept the thought and feeling I get with it. Then do I return to going towards my goals and value? I also heard watching videos on it and stuff like that is good but that’s actually associated with a compulsion of mine... so I doubt it would be good. What do you guys do for exposure therapy? And what do you think I should do? ?

I’m going to talk about something that makes me deeply ashamed and something I hear very little about. Maybe something that scares some people. I’ve suffered with Sexual OCD for about ten years and really the main issue for me was how much it had an effect on my sex drive, I feel like I’ve been neutered. Over time, I feel I’ve more or less overcome the thoughts but I still feel incapable with sex. This has killed the fun out my twenties. I don’t know if it’s the trauma, the drugs, which I avoided with this ocd theme I’ve had because of the side effects warning but took before when I was a teenager suffering from some whacked out religious worries. I’m now more worried than ever I’m going to die alone and unloved. I lost a girlfriend really over this. And on top of that I don’t hear many guys talk about this and I can understand why, but I just feel as if I’m really lonely with a condition no one can treat.

I have always had a HOCD but now I’m really confused because now I think I am asexual but I’m not for sure I don’t really think of sex all that much but I do want to have sex one day! iso I’m confused and I don’t know if I experience sexual attraction or not or if it’s just hocd that has gotten rid of it and I know when I was younger I use to be a little sexual I use to watch a little porn and men in hot underwear but, o don’t know if that was because I was a kid and I liked it because I wasn’t aloud to look it up or if I just have a low sex drive in or if I’m asexual I would really like some help because I’m really getting bothered by this and don’t know what to do anymore and I have nothing wrong with asexuals! Please Help!

I don’t know what to do. I have the most specialized therapist in my area and they basically said they couldn’t help me.

Okay so I’m at work and I’m kind of freaking out . I’m trying to do the erp by acting like I don’t care about these thoughts . It keeps telling me I’m a man in a woman’s body . I’m trying not to believe it but it’s really hard I’m scared . I’m confused

I dont get triggered by much anymore which is making me feel gay in denial.. I look for reassurance all day and feel like its just a coverup for my denial.. I too feel like i faked my attractions to women...

let your mind be the night sky??stars are just stars there is nothing to be afraid of your heart ♡ is the sun *and* the moon orbit

It’s my birthday today and I was wondering if any of you could share some encouragement or your favorite quote. OCD and depression have been dominating and I really want to get my life back!!

Who else has successfully battled public bathroom and bodily fluid contamination OCD? Having a tough Monday and looking for tips. What do you do when OCD cast doubts and makes you feel contaminated from using public bathrooms and/or seeing bodily fluids?