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To find out ROCD was there the whole time!! Please I seriously believe I wanna break up but don’t want to… it wasn’t supposed to get this bad… 😰💔

this may be triggering for people who are religious or spiritual. i want to preface by saying i don’t think there’s anything wrong with believing in spirituality or angel numbers, i’m just talking about my experience with ocd. anyway, i seriously hate the idea of angel numbers. whenever i’m in the midst of obsessing and see repeating numbers i get so scared that it means what i’m obsessing about is actually true. because a lot of websites about angel numbers say that seeing them means you’re “on the right track” and i see them so often when i’m obsessing. it makes me worry that my fears are true.

im not really sure if this belongs here but i don't know where else to go my boyfriend went to the doctor today to get some blood tests - cholesterol risk in family - and got told he had some irregularities with his liver from these and that he has to go back in for an ultrasound my dad's terminal cancer was discovered by an ultrasound and my boyfriend has similar symptoms to my dad in the beginning of them appearing (my dads was pancreatic which spread to the liver; pancreatic has no symptoms until it spreads) and now i'm terrified my boyfriend has the same cancer. the doctors had not even suggested cancer being on the table so i know im overthinking it but im so stressed and have no one to go to about it. im already virtually alone in college; literally everyone i care about is three hours away and the singular friend i have here is leaving next semester, i don't know how i can deal with this too

i wish i can talk this out with someone.

I am so unhappy.. due to my depression… I just don’t care about anything anymore… I try to fight but it seems like I am losing… then I obsess about our issues which is making things worse. No one understands that it truly feels like I did fall out of love with him… that I want to break up… that’s how it feels… it’s like I just don’t care anymore and that I am just rolling with the punches. I still research online about signs of an unhappy relationship or signs you don’t love your partner anymore… constantly…

Anyone else deal with severe ocd/anxiety related to abandonment? It kills me knowing that people can leave me. Every time I meet someone knew I watch EVERY. single thing I say to make sure I say the right Thing so they don’t abandon me. It drains me and pains me and lol so much more too it but can anyone relate?

My ocd thoughts are driving me crazy and i just feel like being done with faith all together I'm sick of having the thoughts and I feel like God isn't helping me and ugg I'm just over it sometimes I just wish my mother never introduced religion to me when I tell her about my ocd she says Satan is attacking me and it just makes it worse so I just want to stop being religious

Does anyone here believe or prescribe to the ideas of manifestation or law of attraction? I get worried to do some of my ERP because I don’t want to attract of make what I say out loud come true. I know this is magical thinking OCD & that isn’t the core of these beliefs but wondered if anyone else has been through the same thing?

Someone please give an honest reason to actually think life is somewhat worth it.

I… can’t shake this at all!! I am seriously needing an answer! Did anyone ever fall out of love or truly believed they did!!? I am believing I don’t love him romantically anymore but when I say I wanna break up I cry alittle saying I dont! I even bought him cookies! 😢

It feels like I can never even get to be able to get there. It shakes me to my core and writing out my fears, triggers, and compulsions today for my therapist made my OCD finally feel real and that it’s not just my anxiety. Has anyone else struggled with this? Any tips for newbies who are scared 💩less?

ive been hating analysing my feelings lately, it gives me so much anxiety and i can’t sit with them but i feel like that’s also how i used to compulse, so now i forbid myself to do it but when i slightly do it anyway i feel awful, as if i was lying since the beginning and it leaves me so so scared but this makes me feel like i can’t feel anything anymore, and if i try to analyse one it’ll bring me a weird feeling i feel less anxious since yesterday because i don’t analyse anything and i try to let things pass, but when i have a romantic thought, im like « do you feel that way about your girlfriend too? » and it feels like a no but i KNOW it’s a yes, so i try to prove it wrong and it’s worse than before and the less i care, the less love i feel it’s absolutely devastating (to me at least) help i don’t know if it’s something common :/

I had 3 people ask me today if I’m a lesbian. Started the day feeling no anxiety to my thoughts. When I got told that I looked like a lesbian I panicked. I then got a groinal to a girl vaping. I then got shown a nude of a girl and had a groinal. Then spoke to my college counsellor and she recognised an ocd cycle in my life. How can this not be real. I don’t want it to be. But it seems to be no?

I keep on having false memories and intrusive thoughts.. I keep on seeking reassurance but i try not to even though its hard..I feel like im a bad person.. also I keep on asking questions for every small detail on daily things.. Its so annoying and exhausting to do this...

I think deep down.. I know I don’t love him anymore… 😞 that deep down I wanna break up. I don’t know if ROCD can really do this to you. I gave in… My happy moments where I knew I loved him accepted him and just wanted to be with him…. Were a lie….💔 I can’t fight this anymore…. 💔 I want this to pass so badly… 😢

I don’t want to accept that I don’t love him anymore… 😢 I don’t wanna accept that it could do be me that wants to break up. I know if I told him maybe things can be normal again. That me and him can be closer together like before. My heart is breaking bc it’s like just love him as a friend when I know I love him more than that. I don’t want to be the end for us both.. 😞

Never been into dudes at all but I have recognized when a guy is good looking. I have been getting the thought that a coworker of mine is "cute". About 5 years ago I had some pretty bad hocd thoughts. I discussed it with a therapist. But is it normal for things like that to come back? Like I try to imagine myself with him and it doesn't feel right at all but I have the thought and I'm like. Uh ok..... I'm 31 by the way.

Has going off to college exacerbated OCD for any of you? I had a really bad experience this year and had to come home because I had a really hard time where I was. I just feel really alone in this experience. Even though other people have experienced difficulties with college and making connections with others, I feel that it’s been especially difficult with OCD. My worries are just so extreme, and I didn’t even recognize it as it possibly being OCD until I was having extreme panic attacks everyday.

I’ve been feeling down today because I’ve been dealing with somatic/breathing ocd now since end of July and I’ve been doing erp for over a month now and although there has been some improvement I still feel like when am I gonna feel back to normal again:( it really has been draining me I’m not gonna lie even if my Nocd therapist says I’ve made progress I just wanna go back to how everything was before this all happened :(

How can something that’s not true feel so real?! Something I had intrusive thoughts about months ago, has come back and now I’m stuck. I had reassurance from my husband around these thoughts at the time ( I know that’s wrong by the way but I was desperate) Now I keep ruminating on that previous reassurance and my ocd is doubting that and my memory of it is feeling all hazy. I’m walking around with a constant feeling of being on edge and I’ve been resisting my urge to ask for reassurance again for weeks now but it’s just not going away. Can anyone here relate? How can I get it to move on? The whole maybe maybe not approach is just not appropriate here, it’s already making me uncomfortable around my husband with just the thoughts being present, thoughts that logically deep down I know are false.