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No one responds to me anymore… 😞😞

I feel like no one actually cares about me… I have no friends in my college… Im stressed between work and college… I have POCD, real events OCD that’s connected to POCD and HOCD, and HOCD that’s making it feel so real… I feel like no one just cares about me at all… even on the community tab… I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭  It’s making me feel like I know I’m a P or a chomo when I don't ever want to ever be those things… I perform avoidance compulsions all the time and I don’t want to be anywhere around kids… even accidentally standing next to one makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and anxious… it’s making me feel like that I know I’m what my POCD and real events OCD are telling me even when a former ocd psychiatrist has told me that the real events don’t make me a P or a chomo… In addition it’s making me feel like I’m what my ocd tells me that I am… I didn’t know how horrible the real events were at the time when I was 13… I really didn’t… my POCD and real events OCD keeps calling me a P and a Chomo for what happened when I was 13 when I didn’t know what any of that stuff was… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t…  It’s making me think I am a rapist because of the real events too… my POCD just keeps telling me that I’m a P or a chomo or in worst case a child r*pist when I don’t ever want to ever be those things in any way 😭😭😭 it’s giving me intrusive thoughts about more details of the real events and this feeling in my head that hurts…  I don’t ever want to ever be a p or a chomo in any way… I don’t ever want to harm anyone, especially children… I don’t ever want to ever be anything my intrusive thoughts tell me I am…

i had these red spots on my leg and i made the mistake of googling it. now i’m terrified i have leukaemia. i went to the doctors and showed her a picture but i felt like she dismissed it quickly so it didn’t give me peace of mind. now i’m having the worst anxiety ever over it. i can’t focus, i have headaches, my knee has been hurting so much and my muscles feel tense. i know they can also be symptoms of anxiety but im scared it’s cancer and i’ve been failing classes because i can’t stop thinking about it. i constantly check the symptoms of leukaemia online and check if i have them. i’m trying to make another appointment with my doctor but she’s not the most caring doctor so i just feel annoying and crazy.

My real events OCD connected to POCD based on extremely horrible events when I was 13 were truly extremely horrible… and I didn’t even know how horrible it was till I was 20… I hate my life… I don’t ever want to ever be a P, a chomo, or a child r*pist… I truly didn’t know how horrible the real events were…

Is anyone feeling down or sad?

All can be approximate times How long does it take for the ocd tools to work for you like Acceptance,uncertainty,mindfulness,self compassion ex? How long did it take for you to stop compulsions? How long did it take for ERP to get easier?

Does anyone feel like they have to confess everything of their past to there partner and more recently it’s been intrusive thoughts. Needing or feeling like I have to confess.? I feel guilty if I don’t or feel like I am hiding something from him. I hate this feeling?! How do I get thru this?

i need help someone. i feel like i’m dying right now, my thoughts came today, and it was going good, till it got triggered by me like kinda laughing at something that wasn’t laughing, which lead me to researching, and that lead me to reading about serial killers and what they had. turns out i feel like everything they were diagnosed with is just similar things i feel like i deal with, i feel lost, i feel stuck, i’m scared, please someone help. i’m scared :( supposedly something i deal with makes it more likely to be a serial killer. 🥲

I no longer get reactions to testing my feelings… Right now I am just sitting here thinking have I ever been truly happy with him? Do I actually just wanna break up?… I am sitting here believing I don’t love him romantically anymore thinking I am only with him to avoid hurting him… that deep down I know I don’t love him anymore… that I don’t wanna admit it.. that’s all I am thinking about… I am worried I don’t love him enough to move forward with him… 💔😢 I love him a lot I really do and just sitting with theses feelings are difficult enough. It’s affecting my work performance since I always walk off and hide. To read about ROCD. I even had my hours cut short so I don’t have to be there long like this. But I think I just hate my job to be honest… it’s burning me out… so I think I need a new one… I just don’t know what to do… I don’t wanna break up with him but then this thought comes in and makes me think I am with him for the wrong reasons. Can’t have sex as much as I would want to bc then I think I am not attracted to him enough… I still touch him but then I stop… My 12 year relationship is gonna die… how can I sit here and let this feeling pass…

My mental illness is getting so bad... Should I end my university? It makes no sense anymore...can't concentrate on nothing It makes me just more nervous...

Hello. I want to say something that has been on my mind for a while and bugging me. I am afraid of the outcome but I think I need to know this. I have had OCD almost my entire life. But here comes something I wanted to hide from this community. *I'm an Iranian girl and I live in Iran & I have OCD* Does the fact that I am Iranian makes you feel differently about me? Do you still or can see me as part of your community? Can I be Iranian and have the same compassion from you and be accepted as a member like others? Or because of my country, I can't be accepted here? I want to feel belonged to a community for who I am. So I need to know that. Feel free to tell me anything you think.♥️

Decided to Google my thoughts to see if anyone else had them and that’s the worst thing I could have done. All googling has done is make my anxiety worse. My therapist told me not to Google anything because it’s not helpful and I didn’t listen and now reading different things have made me scared. So learn from me guys, refrain from Googling your thoughts it doesn’t help.

Believe they wanted to break up but didn’t want to at the sametime bc they love their partner? I keep getting this feeling in the back of my mind believing I don’t love him and I want to break up… 💔😞 I can’t stop thinking…. I am convinced I wanna break up… 💔😢

Can anyone tell me what its like to have ROCD when ur going through a rough patch in the relationship?

I’m constantly thinking, constantly worrying and constantly trying to figure things out. It’s gotten to the point where I think I’ve ruined my talking stage because I got so freaked out. I got scared I was annoying him, so I mentioned it and he was like don’t fear. To which I opened up to him about. He’s now left me on read, but he’s done this before and most of the time he comes back it’s now a waiting game. But my brain is telling me that I’ve ruined it again. That I’m the issue and I’ve scared him off, the thing is I won’t ever know if I have. I don’t think he’s gonna pop back up, I don’t know why but I just feel like he’s done with me, and I can’t loose someone again. I’ve lost too much this year, this would throw me off balance again. How do I stop thinking? It’s literally getting to the point now where I don’t even want to leave the house. I have nothing to leave the house for. I feel like the shell of a person, I wake up every morning annoyed I’ve woken up and have to start the day. I look forward to going back to sleep, and during the day I’ll most likely sleep unreal amounts. Maybe him stopping talking to me is a good thing, because I need to be alone. But I’m scared he thinks I’m some sorta freak now and I can’t have that. I want to be able to meet up with him in the future. I’ve been too much, and idk how to turn it around

I’ve been trying really hard lately to work on positive self-talk and changing how I relate to myself. I understand that this isn’t something that happens overnight. But I just struggle with bad thoughts that creep in anytime I try to think positively about me. It’s like there’s this giant titanium wall in my brain that I feel like I can physically “feel” in a sense that isn’t allowing me to truly believe and feel what I’m trying to instill in myself. I have been writing and looking for ways to practice self love and acceptance, but I guess I am just having a difficult time with that because my brain feels this “block”. It just feels like I’m lying to myself. I feel better about myself when I’m doing things with my life and focusing on creativity and the things I love, and I feel like I have endless love and compassion for others when I feel good about myself. But I usually only feel good about myself when it comes to the positive aspects. Like how I love music and being kind to people and singing and dancing. But I am having a very hard time accepting the parts of myself that are very dark. How do you even tell yourself that you love those parts when you don’t? I just don’t understand how to get there. Maybe I just need to do it in some creative way and not desire a structured method. I think part of me also believes that if I were to truly accept and love myself that that would mean there’s potential for others to hurt me because I could be vulnerable. I also just struggle with how I manage working on myself while also caring for others and just the balancing act of it all stresses me out so much. It feels like I can either ONLY focus on me or ONLY focus on others, and I don’t want to do that because I know that’s just not conducive to any sort of healing or healthy lifestyle. I think I also just get so caught up in meeting people and wanting to connect with them and be known and loved for the very reason of not feeling like my own love for myself is good enough. Or that I won’t be able to exist without those who love me. Overall, there are so many fears that I don’t know how to address. I don’t want to hurt anyone in the process of my own healing, but I feel like I have already because I haven’t known what I have wanted or how to set boundaries. I know I can’t blame myself for everything, but I guess I just go into life with these certain expectations for how things should go especially because I’m in my 20s and haven’t attended in-person college yet and really desire the college experience minus the substance use. As you can see I tend to have this stream of consciousness thing going on whenever I have negative thoughts and it makes it really hard to pick things to focus on and work on because I feel like if I don’t address it all at once then I just won’t succeed. I just know that me feeling bad about myself and not confident leads me to isolate and not know how to act around anybody. And when I try to just be me and say random things and don’t receive necessarily positive responses, I shut down and think I’m not worthy of people’s time or energy. I don’t want to need that external validation, but I don’t know how to work on that.

i’ve been struggling a bit these past few days. i’ve been remembering every single time i’ve felt awkward around a group of girls, or my friends, or my family and my ocd keeps telling me that it was because i wasn’t living my “true authentic life” by being out to them. i’ve always been a very shy and reserved person. even my best friend says that i can be closed off and mysterious, but i’m still struggling with this thought that maybe if i came out, i’d blossom. thing is, i know this isn’t true. i feel like, if anything, i’d feel more closed off and uncomfortable knowing that people perceive me as something that feels inherently incongruent to what i know myself to be. i’ve also spiked seeing stuff about comphet. the idea that romantic/sexual feelings can be societally induced is terrifying to me. it doesn’t help that i’ve had some awkward dating experiences (probably because of ocd) that i think my so-ocd feeds on. i’m trying to accustom myself to the idea that i don’t need a clear-cut answer, that i can just be me, but my brain doesn’t accept that. it keeps telling me that i’ll never be able to fall in love unless i know, and i’m TERRIFIED of falling in love with a guy only to know that it was all fake. it makes the idea of dating paralyzing to me. all in all, boo :(

I know its out of ocd/ mental health content.... But has someone here had any experience with this?? I would like to listen as this is something bothering me... And i feel like i have telepathy with someone... Or have i just gone mad... I don't know the weird things happening with me is so scary....

Does anyone else have a partner with almost no anxiety/OCD. I guess opposites attract but my gosh it can you make you feel so alone and isolated in the relationship. Or more so just “less than”. The “crazy one”. I’ll even convince myself I’m not good enough for him because he has such good mental health. I’ve been honest about my ocd with him but I’ve never shared with him my intrusive thoughts that are taboo. Especially harm ocd because he literally has almost next to no anxiety (I’m jealous lol) Do you guys think it’s completely necessary to tell your partner everything about your ocd? Confessing is a huge compulsion of mine so it’s difficult to keep it from him but I’m afraid he’d think I am nuts. I am just not ready.

Magical thinking/ Harm OCD Scared that I’m inadvertently manifesting my negative thoughts through words and actions. My thoughts are mainly out loud, it’s a habit I developed when I used to answer my thoughts back and now it doesn’t stop. My therapist says words are just words but I don’t fully believe him, especially growing up Christian and you learn that words have power. I’m constantly questioning what I’m doing when I have/say a thought so I don’t liken anything to happen. Do you believe in manifestation?