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Not having the best day today mental health wise. Feel super bored but nothing sounds appealing to do. Anyone ever feel like this? What hobbies or things do you guys do that maybe some of us could try?

hi! My theme that I’ve had now for a while has been harm ocd but reversed. My ocd revolves around a fear or someone assaulting or raping me. I have had so many ocd themes before (I’ve had ocd since I can remember) but this current theme I’m dealing w I see no one ever talk about which gives me anxiety.. Basically this happened when I was having lots of checking ocd and contamination ocd and it was after a big change in my life. I was feeling lots of general anxiety and my ocd was flaring up and it was during the time of the me too movement (it had just started in 2017). Basically one day I was in bed on the computer on Facebook and I came across this article - girls boyfriend rapes her. At this moment (and I can remember the exact moment) my brain BROKE. I got a (what I now know) to be a false memory. It was of my boyfriend doing this to me (DID NOT HAPPEN AND I KNOW IT DIDNT HAPPEN!) basically it made me scan my memory- and then it told me that it didn’t happen like I knew it happened and added on memories of something that DIDNT happen! At this moment I started even saying out loud this didn’t happen why am I thinking this omg stop stop. Well it didn’t stop it just got worse. I then went into a rabbit hold- checking my memories, googling, reading stories online, looking at statistics. In my head all day my brain would be saying “rape rape rape”. At the time what I thought were weird “quirks” was OCD and i had no idea I had ocd! This is what led me to getting diagnosed (three time by three different ppl bc I wasn’t convinced) and with ocd and I realized and was told by my dr that the weird anxiety “quirks” (compulsions) I would do related to all my themes was ocd!!!! Well I didn’t start therapy until a while later bc I was so embarrassed and scared bc these thoughts were over taking my life. Anyways I never told my boyfriend I was having these crazy thoughts and then it made things bad bc during sex I would have intrusive thoughts and it would be distressing (even tho I wanted to have sex) bc my mind would be literally saying is this rape bla bla bla. Anyways the thing I now am obsessing about is a time when me and my boyfriend had sex and my ocd won’t let this go. Basically what happened is we were laying in bed he asked me if I wanted to have sex (I was fine w it but my ocd started saying shit) so I said maybe later! Then lil later he asked if we could just put it in and lay there (sometimes we would do this before going to sleep tmi) anyways we were laying there (he didn’t start having sex w me) I said to him are we gonna have sex yes or no? He didn’t answer me verbally he answered non verbally and was like mmm and started moving a little and imitating it bc I asked (just to clarify he was Not Bring pushy I was fine w us doing it all I didn’t care I could have said NO at any time point ! ) anyways bc he didn’t answer me my ocd was like “why didn’t he answer u u need an answer, ask him again, is this rape?! Are h allowed to be doing this bc u said maybe later earlier is this allowed?!” And bc of these Intrusive thoughts I listened to my ocd and turned and said are we having sex yes or no? And this stopped us and he replied oh yes it feels good? And I said okay ! And turned and we then continued. Well my ocd has been obsessing on this event now. And I didn’t remember it organically I remembered it bc ocd was scanning thru my memories and then started obsessing. It started adding false things into the memory (it would tell me that he started just randomly having sex w me before I asked if we were gonna) and then my ocd would tell me that what if it happened like this what if it happened like that what if u didn’t wanna have sex what if what if. Like non stop. I’m scared bc it won’t go away and it gives me anxiety bc I don’t want to think about this! I even talked to my boyfriend recently about this and he t confirmed the real memory (the only reason he initiated or started was bc I said are we gonna have sex ? Which was me initiating it….) but this doesn’t help bc my ocd says what if he lying. This literally never ends and I can’t take it anymore! Can someone please help

Anyone else feel like really small kind interactions make their day? My mind is so mean. Getting a little confirmation that not all of the world as mean as my mind feels beautiful. I get excited, almost to a point of anxiety because my ocd wants to find something wrong with these genuine and friendly moments but there isn’t. I wouldn’t appreciate them as much if I wasn’t struggling.

Does anyone get the thought that you’ll have to break up to feel better? I’m scared because i made some bad decisions in my relationship, and my mind has convinced me that if i stay with my partner i’ll remember those events all the time.

hi everyone. can ocd rewires the brain? like it’s been months my thoughts are telling me im gay and even when i don’t have intrusive thoughts i still believe that, like it has become used to it and this is who i am. will i ever feel like myself again? what to do?

I have obsessive fear of a robber or murderer breaking into my house. I don’t see this theme talked about often, does it even have a name?

I think I’ve been having a sort of relapse. I’m waking very early in the morning with a feeling of anxiety. I don’t want to feel depressed again and I don’t think I want to think these things. I just have a sense of doubt. I’m sorry I really am.

I asked myself if I am in love with my partner and I said yes. I am but scared. I am lying to myself. That I don’t love him anymore. I still show love so that has to mean something right? 😢💔 am I just in denial at this point. Do I just want someone better than him… I know from watching videos that there is always gonna be someone better no matter who you’re with… But I don’t want to break up at least I don’t think so… 💔 I don’t know if I convinced myself to feel this way or not but I wanna work on our relationship that has to mean something right!?

I need some peace of mind or advice. I don’t know if it is my ocd but I feel immense guilt over everything & anything. I was friends with a girl who was pregnant and I cared about her and thought we were good friends. I haven’t know her long but she asked me to be her baby’s godmother. I ended up after a while telling her I couldn’t cuz I’m not well mentally/emotionally right now & then i tried to reach out she read & ignored my text. Then today she got in an awful car accident & her boyfriend posted the pics in our work group chat. I immediately assumed the worst and thought it was fake. It is isn’t and she lost the baby. I feel like such an awful human being for assuming something so awful. I feel such guilt cuz now the manager was wanting me to go to hospital with them & I feel like I don’t deserve to. I think it more upset me cuz the accident pics were awful and last year I lost my brother in a car accident. Please give me peace of mind I feel awful and don’t know how to get rid of the guilt of how awful I am.

Lexapro just failed for me (anxiety attacks shortly after taking a dose, insomnia, muscle tightness, and most recently derealization). Is it normal to try another SSRI or typical to try another class of drugs? Would it make sense for me to just try therapy without medication? My symptoms were at worst clinically mild up until recently, and my more severe onset has a pretty clear cause, so part of me wonders if it’s better to focus on therapy considering how rough these SSRIs have been on me. I realize this is absolutely in medical advice territory but just curious of other peoples’ experiences. I’m going in to talk to my doctor on Monday and would just like to have an idea of what options I have without going down a research rabbit hole which will almost definitely not be good for my OCD.

I feel scared writing this. Like many of you I am in the middle of "is this really OCD?" For a long time it wasn't really there beyond rOCD, but it started with some themes around being a monster in some way, and then pOCD. I think it has morphed into this fear about being attracted to teenagers and what it means about me. Like, if I find a 16 year old attractive, that means something horrible. Or what if I find an adult attractive that looks young? What if I am really more attracted to teenagers than people my own age? I don't have many intrusive thoughts but often get a surge of anxiety when seeing a high school or college aged person. When it first started out, I was concerned that it was children, but that has really stopped now. I would never do anything, but it's what it means about me (and honestly, being alone forever, which is my core fear around my relationship ocd- if it is ocd, really gets at that). I can't sit here and say that I don't feel attraction to teenagers on some level. It makes me so anxious and I can't stop thinking about it and I want it to go away. I even read an article a long time ago that finger ratios have something to do with prenatal hormones, and I have measured my hands a bunch because my hands are really weird. No matter what this is, it just feels hopeless. I don't want to be this way.

TW: animal death mention struggling a lot with this. Not sure if I actually should break up with my boyfriend because he’s not right for me or because we’re growing in different directions, or if this is just ROCD. I’ve been pushing him away recently after my OCD got rly bad after I had to put my cat down last week. I’m thinking about all the negatives in our relationship like how we haven’t been motivating or inspiring each other much, I feel stagnant a lot of the time but that’s mostly my own fault because I’m not working on myself enough, he doesn’t really have the same type of intellectual interests as me and I think I’d want to be with someone who is more like that, and other stuff like that… instead of focusing on the positives like about how we have slowly been working on the motivation and inspiration, how he’s taught me a lot of cool stuff about music which I enjoy, and how he does try to read the book I bought him even tho it’s a tough read. It feels like I’m forcing myself to look at the positives while the negatives occupy my rumination almost constantly. Also dealing with SO-OCD. I’m bisexual (not OCD; I am genuinely attracted to women even more than men) and fantasize about being with a woman instead and think it would be better for me even though my boyfriend is the loveliest person I know and I enjoy being with him for the most part except in times like this and would never cheat on him. Even during sex I dissociate and am sometimes imagining having sex with a woman instead. Or focus too much on how I look and act during it and imagine being in my bfs position and having another girl in mine. I think about other women a lot and how I find them generally much more attractive than other men. Sometimes I find it hard to be attracted to him even though I know I am when I’m feeling better. Ive never dated a woman before and I wanted to before I met him, but since we plan to be together until it just doesn’t work out then chances are we will be each others last and I’m scared that I’m missing out on something that might be better for me. I’ve been having awful anxiety and guilt about this because I don’t want to break up with him but I’m not sure if that’s just my codependent tendencies talking or if I genuinely can’t see myself without him. His birthday is in a few days and I can’t help but avoid him at this time because I’m scared that I might realize that he’s not the one for me. I wrote him a card and felt like I had to force it because all I could think about were my doubts. I’ve been having a lot of panic attacks and crying a lot over all of this. He understands that I haven’t been feeling good and is always supportive and caring, but is also sad that I’ve been avoiding him and I feel like he is starting to think that I don’t love him anymore or don’t want to be with him because he started asking me about that. Which makes me feel even more guilty and wanting to isolate even more than I did before. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared to see him in fear of the possibility that doing so will trigger these thoughts and lead me to break up with him.

I’m convinced that I want to act on my thoughts, is this normal for harm ocd? I worry that maybe it’s not ocd and maybe I want these things to happen. I just feel like I’m the one exception where it’s not ocd and I like these thoughts. Anyone?

I’m on and off with my OCD. It feels all too real at times, and nonexistent at others. I’m heavily considering going medication as i feel it may be what I need to breakthrough this spell. What is your alls experiences with meds and what did you take? Please share all the good, bad and in-between!

Does anyone experience obsessions and compulsions around repeating to do lists? Checking calendars? Fear of forgetting something that is on the to do list?

Some memories are coming up and is so bothersome. Its been 5 almost 6 years and I have confessed back than (which I shouldn’t). Weather sometimes brings those memories back but Iam staying strong sitting with this uncomfortable feeling. Just wanted to vent a little. 💜

After almost breaking up with my boyfriend last night, I’m waking up experiencing relief. I just don’t get it. These thoughts feel so real in the moment, I literally feel crazy.

I am working with my therapist on how to love myself. For years I have beaten myself up in my head and he is trying to get the point across to me that no matter what you need to love yourself… and it is hard to put into practice? Non- OCD related but any advice?

Last night I was at a party and my friend that I like was here and I idk but I think I really do have a crush on him but I mean it’s not a problem it’s not my fault I can’t help that stuff but basically we stayed up late and we both ended up falling asleep and I slept on his shoulder…. Idk what to do I love my boyfriend sooo much but I feel like I’m « falling for someone else » but I don’t wanna leave my boyfriend like 4 days ago I felt really really in love with me I was picturing myself with his baby but when I see my friend I feel attracted I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend is everything for me i don’t wanna risk it all for someone else idk what to do when I see my friend I wanna kiss him but I don’t do it obviously because I’m in a relationship that makes me happy and again I love my boyfriend. I think my ocd probably makes it a bigger deal then it is but maybe it’s not ocd this time idk

My mother killed herself this week. I've been struggling a lot. But my boyfriend keeps asking me questions about our relationship that create arguments. I'm a peaceful person. I love people with all my heart. But he keeps creating arguments for whatever thing I do. He even wanted to break up with me because I confused him with another guy in a picture where everybody was wearing the same clothes, hair and mask. Right now, he texted me saying that he had to tell me something. Again. He always has something to tell me. And I always try to fix everything. I don't know what he's going to tell me. What else I've done badly. What else I've made to hurt him. On the same day my mother died, I sent him a voice message, because we are a distance relationship, saying that I'm sorry for hurting him for the misunderstanding about the picture, for everything he has complained about me. That I never wanted to hurt him. That it has never been my intention. I don't know what he will tell me now, I'm waiting for his message. Today it's my mother's funeral. Such a great for complaining about me again, isn't it?