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I have been suddenly triggered pretty badly due to some of the posts and comments here on the app. I read about late bloomer lesbians and suddenly I am worried I am one. My anxiety had reduced quite a bit over the past few days and that has also bothered me a lot. I suffer from HOCD and ROCD. I got a diagnosis from 3 different doctors but again I have a doubt that I am a Lesbian. It's not coming in the form of question but a statement now. This has be really worried and panicky. And the weirdest thing the only thing that calms me is my husband who knows what I am going through.

What ERP should I do for real event OCD. I keep obsessing over a regret and I can still enjoy myself until I think about that regret, and it prevents me from enjoying myself anymore. Help pls

Hello wonderful community, and much love to anyone who is struggling out there. I have a lot of ocd/intrusive thought content in the ROCD theme. A few months ago I wrote a letter to my S/O confessing a number of intrusive thoughts and transgressions in the relationship. Many of them she told me she never needed to know and I would have been better off not sharing ever. At the time this was the paramount list, and “coming clean” was finally getting it all out there and a chance to see if I could move on from the content. Very wrong assumptions. Now, I am filling up that list of transgressions again with anything and everything I can find. I can objectively realize that many of them are inconsequential, or entirely thought based. I am urge surfing a lot, riding a lot of spikes out, and it’s really hard to be in a relationship, be intimate, and be present as I feel very undeserving. Without asking about the content or reassuring, has anyone dealt with this that cares to share skills or ERP tactics that worked? Anyone feel recovered from this? Living a nightmare lately. Anyways, happy to talk about anything anyone is struggling with, hope ya’ll are finding your way to peace with OCD. much love !!

I was diagnosed w ocd as a child but want to know if this in specific sounds like ocd bc this is what causes me the most distress. TW—intrusive thoughts, talk about graphic thoughts I can’t go a single day without imagining my baby dead or imagining his funeral or holding his little dead body or imagining his tombstone. It makes me so sad. Every single day I live with a weight on my chest thinking about what will I do if he dies. I can’t stand waking up and seeing my beautiful baby and wondering if todays going to be the day I get a bad phone call. I have a knot in my stomach every day thinking about how I would plan his funeral or how I’ll continue carrying on if he dies. I am already on antidepressants, and I’ve been on and off of them in the past but nothing has helped before so I kinda figured it wouldn’t help now and it’s not. Some days are worse than others but it is an every day occurance. I don’t know what to do anymore. It makes my life a living hell. I just want to enjoy my baby, not envision them dead every day. I am starting to not enjoy my life anymore. I want to try different medicine but idk if any of it will help. I am so, so sick of this. I’ve lived with intrusive thoughts and fears my whole life but none of them compare to the thought of losing my child. I lay in the bath or bed and just cry and cry and cry and cry imagining my baby dead and imagining never getting to see them again, their smile their laugh and wondering how I’ll survive if they die. It makes me question why I even had a baby to begin with and makes me feel like life isn’t even worth it. I don’t necessarily have physical compulsions that I know of, just this constant thought and thinking about him dying and his funeral and how nad I will miss him. If he smiles at me I see him dead. If he does something cute I wonder if todays going to be the day he dies. Nothing good can ever happen without me getting thoughts of him dying. I just want this hell to end. I am grieving my son before he’s even gone. My husband says he never thinks about him dying because he hasn’t happened so there’s no point in worrying. But it’s almost like I need to know, like I am trying to prepare. I have done this thought process since I was a young kid and it went from my parents to my husband and now to my son. Constantly wondering if he’s going to die and how I’ll survive if he does and constantly thinking about his funeral or ways he could die makes me hate my life.

So after my 2 hour crying and mental breakdown session, I am feeling a little better. But I still feel off bc of ocd symptoms. I don't think people realized how bad it was. I never doubted myself so much within the span of 2-3 hours in my entire life. It was so bad to yhe point where I actually thought I was bu, but then it switched to Lesbian, and now I'm feeling disconnected form myself and numb. I know I'm straight, but the intrusive feelings make me feel like I want to be with other girls, but I don't. Even writing that have me an anxiety spike. I hate this so much. Sometime I feel like im actually lying to myself.😞 I so sad right now And I'm getting thought as I'm typing. These thoughts are "you were a lesbian all along", "You aren't striaght" , "you leant to be woth a female" and these thoughts are so annoying and they make me so distressed and I don't know where to turn, or who to turn to.🥺 OCD is one he'll of a mindfrick that make you doubt everything about yourself. And when I'm not worrying about this, TRUST ME, it will go to gender identity OCD, then it will go to "you know you want kids" OCD, and then it will go in circles between the three.😫 When I tell you I was indistress, crying my eyes out, I wasn't joking.🌧 Quira really messed me up even more, because people kept saying hung like "Sexiality is fluid and it changes overtime" and ppl on reddit who also have ocd found things like "late bloomer lesbians" and they all trigger me.😥😭 I don't know if it's bc it was Christmas break and I had more time on my hands bc I realized I've been on reddit and quora more often these past two weeks and I'm starting to see a pattern.🤔 I know OCD will have lingering symptoms after the anxiety has gone down a bit but I had a huge anxiety attack, I felt physically ill, I was crying super hard at the thought of losing myself and I realized that it really was OCD in the end after i claimed myself down.😶 Dispute being boy crazy, OCD tells me I'm not and that I'm using it as a cover up bc I'm actually bi or lesbian depending on how ocd wants to portray me.🙄 Sorry about this rant, but I had to because I feel so alone and lost even thought I know who i am. I hope you guys can share your feelings and experiences abd bonus if they are similar to mine, no pressure!!🙂 Bye all!!! 💖💫✨️

Things I ACTUALLY did when I was younger (between 8-10 I think) loads of time. Which sounds like literal proof. Literally. When I got reminded of it I had anxiety and started to feel sick. I’m really scared.

*warning, long post ahead! Hi there! I’m new here on a friend’s recommendation and I was diagnosed with Pure-O OCD several years ago. My last relationship ended five years ago (probably because of problems with ROCD, in all honesty) and in the wake of it and ever since one of my absolute strongest obsessions is about feeling like I’m “destined” to pursue the wrong people. I have no problem finding people to have crushes on, but I’ve been rejected by every person I’ve expressed interest in over several years. I spend an enormous amount of time thinking about this and all I end up achieving is feeling like I’m broken, undesirable, and like I’m being played for a fool. I obsess constantly over if and when I’ll find someone to date and I also obsess over people I’ve had crushes on and if I’ll meet them again/if things would be different if I had done things differently/what I could have done differently and reinforce the obsession with fantasies. I don’t know why I seem to be barking up all the wrong trees and it’s exceedingly distressing to me because apart from this obsession, I do very well socially and have a lot of friends, travel often, am physically active, have a cool career, and I think I’m a fairly attractive woman. I feel frustrated and sickened by my own obsession and I run myself ragged imagining what I could be doing wrong or catastrophizing that I’ve missed the boat to be in a happy relationship. I think I’m pretty lucid when I’m obsessing and I can recognize the behavior within myself but being mindful doesn’t do “enough” to mitigate the obsession. I wonder a lot if I’m being punished for something or if there is a “joke” being played on me to see how many times I can make a huge embarrassment out of myself. I also know there is a lot of magical thinking OCD happening here because I will also punish myself for having the obsession in the first place: I convince myself very easily that I’ll be “materially” closer to having a partner if I don’t worry about it, which is a lot of the advice you hear when feeling lonely and broken in love is at the forefront. But then I do worry and obsess about it and then it feels to me like I’m drifting farther and farther away from the chance at having a partner because I’m wanting it too much. This obsession has had me in a chokehold for years and I don’t know what I can do to make it less distressing to me. I hate how exhausted I make myself feel about this and I wish I could just relax and not worry about it. I know this is pretty high-context and this has been a very long post but I wanted to see if anyone could corroborate my experience or point me in any direction regarding how to tease this apart in my head. Thank you so much if you’ve taken the time to read to the end!! I’m excited to be part of this community and please let me know if anyone can help me make sense of this at all or if anyone has ever felt the same.

I hit 4 months since beginning my journey with recovery! I didn’t even notice the day tbh til I was sitting here and a thought had came to me and freaked me out a bit I got sad and as most of us do I believed the thought was true and had meaning but I let it be there and continued what I was doing and it passed and I’m just reflecting like wow I can see and grasped mentally how much I’ve grown since entering recovery. I’m nervous because my harm ocd began in April last year and I’m nervous as the Month approaches like omg what if it starts again? What if it comes back? What if all the work and time I put in to myself and recovery is for nothing? I don’t want to go back! But I’m trying to ignore it because I’ve been able to go in recovery thank god and there just thoughts I have ocd and flair ups and moments will happen. Does it suck ABSOLUTLY! But I’m trying to ignore it best I can. Can anyone else relate?

I feel awful, even though before it didn't bother me I now feel like I cheated. I tried to be on good terms with my ex and my current gf had no problems with me talking to my ex. However there was one or two times in the first month or so of my relationship that I vented to my ex because my gf was constantly ditching or ignoring or flaking on me. It wasn't in a way that I was romantically interested in my ex or anything like that (AT ALL), but I was just very upset those nights and I've known my ex since I was a kid and was good friends with her for years, so it was just easy to vent to her. I've since addressed relationship issues directly with my gf, and even cut contact with my ex because it just seemed unnecessary to try and stay friends and even though my gf didn't care we talked, I wanted to be more respectful of our relationship. But now I'm worried because I read online this could be considered emotional cheating. I know this may be reassurance seeking, but is this something I need to confess to my gf? Is this cheating or am I overthinking? I recognize it isn't right behavior at the least now, and I know better now but I'm so upset, I don't want to tell my gf that I ever complained to ANYONE, I'm afraid I'll hurt her and don't deserve her :(

I physically cannot tell It’s distressing me a lot. I’m trying to find anything that could mean I actually have ocd and I can’t.

How do I know if I have real event OCD? I can’t seem to move on from something, and my brain keeps saying “if you hadn’t done this, you would be enjoying life so much more right now” but I am not obligated to mentally review what happened in the past. Is this real event OCD or is it just pure regret?

This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.

On TikTok, I get called ugly so damn much, and people are just fucking rude and I'm not sure what they expect to gain from it, bc yes, it sucks, but I don't really care. Yes I post goofy videos of me doing voiceovers of cringey songs, I'm having fun, and showing my confidence, ppl really wasting a second typing out "💀" which, I don't even know why, like, if ur having a bad day, sorry but it's not my problem. It does piss me off, but I'm keeping my head high, Kinda sucks cos my friend hardly ever gets hate comments and I get them every day. :/

What are some of the things that you all want to do or achieve? I want to personally be able to learn more skills and be productive with whatever I can. It’s a huge thing if I’ll be able to do it wholly. I’ve started baby steps with it and it’s made me feel a teeny bit but importantly positive. So I’m just really happy about that no matter what’s happening 🤪

Hello my name is Hanna and this is my first post on this app. My friends, family , and boyfriend know I struggle with OCD. They are supportive and try to help me in anyway they can, but they don't understand it like an OCD suffer would. I am making this post to help anyone who is dealing with the same thing or someone who can help me. I have been having cheating OCD where I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend. For example; The OCD intrusive thought that has been on my mind for the past week is that i kissed someone. I went to the bar with my friends, but i didn't drink because I knew it would make my OCD worse. Anyway my friend and I were outside and asking people if they had a lighter for a cigarette. This guy was walking into the bar and started talking to us in a friendly way. I found him attractive ( which probably triggered my OCD). But then my friend and I went back inside of the bar to find our others friends to leave. I was holding my friends hand and walking through the bar crowd to leave when I made eye contact with the guy from outside. My OCD immediately made me think I kissed the guy. I love my boyfriend and I would never do that, but I cannot get this thought out of my head. Then this turns into false memory and I keep trying to replay the night in my head. It makes me feel like I kissed him even though I know I didn't. It is causing me extreme guilt, and I even feel guilty talking to my boyfriend. Every-time I try to tell myself it's just OCD my brain makes me think i'm blaming this on OCD and I actually did it. I even had my friend retell the events of that night, and she told some of the events out of order and I knew the correct order of the events. How can I know what events happened, but I can't trust myself. Anytime I try and forget this and get over it my brain will not let me. I need help. It's so frustrating and debilitating that I can't even trust myself.

Has anyone struggled with creating rigid boundaries in order to create “safety” within the theme of your intrusive thoughts?? I struggle with rocd, harm ocd and real event ocd. i overanalyze my partners actions and morals. i have intrusive thoughts if things are consensual, if they respect me, if i’ve ever messed up consent and vice versa. the thoughts plague me and i’m sure you can imagine this theme freaking sucks. especially since we love each other a lot. it’s taken such a huge toll on our relationship and i’m wondering if i’ve created so many boundaries and very intricate ones at that to where it could almost for sure have someone forget or mess up at first. that’s what my partner voiced to me recently since we’ve been dealing with this for a long time. and i’ve created a lot more boundaries than they have. i just struggle thinking if it’s ocd related or if my intrusive thoughts are real. just like everybody here. but yeah has anyone struggled with this symptom of ocd? is this a trap my ocd is creating just for my intrusive thoughts to be “proven right”?

So I was eating dinner and drinking soda. After I was done drinking it I pulled the soda cap off (the thing on the soda cans you pull up to open the can) and I realized there was a tiny piece of metal that fell into the can. I went to go a drink another sip but then realized that the tiny piece of tin was still in their. I immediately spit out the drink. But now I’m so scared I accidentally swallowed that tiny piece. I keep replaying what happened in my head to see what happened but I can’t remember and now I’m scared it’s gonna poison me and I’m gonna not wake up tomorrow 😭 I’m just having time dealing with the uncertainty rn

So yesterday, I don’t know who plays genshin, but basically I was playing with a friend yesterday and she switched to a child character. Once I saw she did and was playing with that character my anxiety immediately rose and I started feeling extremely triggered. Then my thoughts started to lean towards what if you actually want to actively have sex with the character and this is where it gets tricky, I don’t know if I actively started to have sexual thoughts about the child or if it was just ocd. My brain is telling me that it was me that I actively thought it but I don’t want that to be true. I know we can’t control our thoughts so maybe that’s what it was, that I was triggered by the what of thoughts and my brain starting sending me sexual thoughts. Anyways I can’t be sure what happened and it’s really freaking me out.

Is it normal that everything gets worse when something that cause you anxiety is coming. My school is starting on few days and my thoughts are so much worse.

What i understand about the things i heared in therapy and from people who "recovered" from ocd, ocd is the rummination you make to avoid the danger that youre conviced it will happen. So the thoughts itself arent ocd, the rummination and overthinking you do after that is ocd. So in this case, lets take harm ocd, and a real life exemple, you get an illness, or get over a heartbrake, and you get feelings and thoughts of you want to die or worse kill yourself.(sorry i say it like this) and then you get anxious cause you thought about this. So as i understood it, this is not ocd, cause you get anxious because your logic activates and it gives you a sign that thats not a good thing to do. The ocd comes when you start to think "oh my God, why did i thought that, do i really want to do it?" So that means that i have to accept that i will have thoughts like "i want to die" when life isnt good? Cause thats a normal response, everyone thinks that when struggles? I dont know but this is the hardest for me to accept that i will have these thoughts which are genuine at the time cause you suffer, but then if youre lucky you realize its not right to do it... Like i dont want to have these thoughts at all, it can be dangerous cause in that hard time you dont view it as just a thought, its your reality cause things isnt good for you that time... it can be dangerous, and the other thing, i dont want to believe that everyone thinks this when they suffer from a life problem... If someone can say something about this i would appreciate it!