Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone make little bets with themselves to ease their anxiety ? For example I’ll be driving and I’ll say “if I make this green light without it turning yellow I’m not my intrusive thoughts”

Been feeling horrid lately ,OCD "neutralising" all the happiness I have been feeling...it interfers with my relationship SO MUCH. I love my boyfriend more than anyone else but OCD keeps obsessing over this one thing he did that my friend and also people online said is okay but OCD is saying it's outright immoral or at the very least morally grey and is forcing me to break up with him but that is the very last thing I'd want. So, as a punishment, it keeps ruining my feelings for him and making it near impossible to enjoy my days, I feel quite depressed to be honest. Any tips?

i have been so scared of my partner cheating and we have been with each other for almost 2 years , it went to the point where i would randomly check his phone and i would find nothing. i don’t have any intuition about this just anxiety. also because he cheated in the past with his past relationships but he told me it was because he was younger, didn’t love them and didn’t stay with them for longer than a few months. he says he truly loves me and respects me too much to do that to me. but those are just words. and i used to find comfort in not finding anything in his phone. but now i realize is someone is texting you , you can delete the messages as soon as they come. also i used to find comfort in me being all over his social media and his whole family knowing us. but some girls are okay with being side pieces. and some family members could cover up for their blood. so i’m freaking out , not knowing what or who i could trust. i love him to death but theres no way for me to know what he’s doing. but i guess what i’m really asking is , is it possible for someone who used to always cheat to not cheat in a different relationship with someone they love? for me i have no doubt he loves and cares about me but if he cheats then he doesn’t respect me and thats not the love that i want. and i am scared to death. thoughts pls?

Hello, im feeling very anxious and need someone to talk too. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced this type of ocd. I’ve had many different types of ocd through out my life. I’m a 21 year old female. I am in school for child development and work at daycares in the summer time for my resume. However, my ocd has been based around my work recently and its ruining my life. I constantly have thoughts I will lose a child at work, and they will run off and die under my care. Or I’ll hurt one of the children by mistake or on purpose. I’m scared I will do something wrong and the kids will get hurt because of me. I really love working with the kids, however I feel these daycare jobs are overwhelming for my ocd. But I cant stop working at daycare cause I need the experience for when I graduate and try to find a different job in the field. And I also do enjoy the job to some degree so I don’t want to leave the job, it’s just ocd that makes it harder. Has anyone had this type of ocd and is a childcare worker it would be really helpful to hear from other people?!

Any tips on how to regain sex drive/libido while suffering OCD? I have been suffering with sexual orientation OCD for around 3 months, and have lost complete grasp of my identity whatsoever. Constant sexual thoughts about guys creating a uncertainty in whether I am straight or gay. I have tried accepting that I am "gay" which in a way makes the thoughts feel justified to there existence ,however it doesn't sit right when i try place the thoughts of my actions on the people. The existence of these intrusive thoughts feels to have created a complete crash in my sex drive, creating more uncertainty in my life which I feel incapable of actually dealing with. How do I even know that it is OCD and not me just struggling to accept myself? Apparently that's something il never know, but coming to terms with this feels very scary and confusing. The fact that I have a girlfriend doesn't make this any better. Life truly flipped upside-down. And all I crave rn is to get my life back to a place where ik who I am.

I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts for the past few weeks, now it’s also turned into depression. I’m trying to fight through it but tbh it’s been kicking my butt these past few days. I just feel so hopeless. It’s like I lost all hope for the future. My ambition is gone and I was the most ambitious person I knew. Making it through the day is a struggle. Just want my old self back.

Hello everybody, I was wondering does anybody else get migraines from their intrusive thoughts. Let alone even just thinking? Id literally just think any thought and my head is full of anxiety and migraines . If anybody knows a good remedy or a technique please let me know. Love to hear your thoughts/experiences.

Does anyone ever have moments where they try to take a step back from their themes and don’t even recognize who they are when they are in their fear cycle? For example I’ll have moments where I notice I’m obsessing over something irrational and I’ll notice that and then I’m the very next moment I’ll fall right back in trying to find certainty… Just curious if anyone else relates 😎

Just ate three bites of a sandwich and noticed the cheese in it was smelling odd and now I'm paranoid thinking I'm going to have a food poisoning or v0mit and I have emetophobia so...

So I had many different themes of OCD during the years but the last few months Harm OCD is in charge. I was worried I’m narcissistic so my therapist suggested to do a ERP so I did an expose and some of the symptoms are similar to me and when I start thinking about it’s true I didn’t have so much anxiety that make my mind think it’s true. So I started getting really hopeless. I started thinking what’s the point of me still living if my worst fear is true. And then my mind keeps telling maybe my values are like the values of a bad person. And don’t really care is I’m bad. Maybe all those years I’ve been lying I’m a good person and it’s all true… I just cat explain it. Like I really feel this way. All of my family is saying it’s just my OCD totally messing wit my head and lying about my values changed and so on but for me is like it’s true and they just don’t believe me. Please someone help. Even if someone says I’m searching for a reassurance. I just need to know that someone is expecting the same thing. I’m just on the edge. It’s so hard to keep going. Thank you…

Does anyone else have a spouse who is skeptical of your OCD therapy and will only be convinced of its effectiveness if you meet his criteria of when you are “cured”? So disheartening 😞

I’m curious to hear what medications have worked for those with OCD. I’m newly diagnosed. I had been in Lexapro, which was not helpful. Then I tried Luvox for a month and had insomnia and restlessness/twitchy. Now I’m trying Zoloft. I know it can be hard to find the right fit and all of these meds come with side effects. Starting to feel discouraged. Would appreciate hearing what worked and what didn’t as we are all in this together and I’m a newbie to the group. Thanks! 🙏🏻

I find myself questioning things I’d never question about my life. I’m thinking I’ve actually been driven to contemplate these dark things because my ocd has pushed me over the edge. So it’s kinda that my intrusive thoughts have come true. It’s not fair! I feel super hopeless, then I get scared that I felt that way then the ocd kicks in and I start contemplating things like “it’s all hopeless I feel I am going to carry out (insert violent thought here).”. I don’t get it guys… I don’t have the money for therapy right now so crisis chats and this is my best option. I’ll definitely say ocd and my poor sleep bug habit are what has pushed me to these depths. What I don’t get though is I’m not inherently violent, I thought I was always a hopeful person on the inside, I don’t have depression. That and I love my family, I don’t want harm to come to them but the moment I get the hopelessness it makes me question wether or not it’s worth it. I’m living my worst nightmare. By the way I’m not dangerous, I don’t have any deficits in empathy what’s wrong with me. I’m in denial, I can’t believe I’m capable of genuinely thinking these things. Oh and then I have this suicidal spiral. I’ve had suicidal ocd but now I think it’s also partially true since I’ve been in such a dark spot. I know they say that if you’re not comforted by the idea of sleeping forever it prolly means it’s just ocd and well let me say it’s not comforting. Back to back I’m like “do I want to kill myself? Am I feeling that? Will I do it?” And I feel so hopeless that the thought comes in but no I DONT WANT IT. So it’s like half ocd and half my mental distress. But lord no I don’t want it and I don’t want to live in a reality where I contemplate it. Someone just help me… Why are my emotions so intense I question these things? Ocd is involved I know but I’m telling you this hopelessness had made me contemplate things that ocd wouldn’t typically do. I don’t have personality disorders or any other mental illness. HELP ME!

⚠️FLASHY GIF: Louise from Bob's Burgers laughing in front of raging fire⚠️ I'd say ~90% of my OCD is obsessive thoughts and it flipping sucks because for the most part it goes like this OCD: *insert disgusting and extremely upsetting thought here* Me: Ok PLEASE I will do ANYTHING just give me an out! OCD:

I’ve been battling existential thoughts for the past month, which I’ve gotten over. But part of those fears was the fear of growing up. I’m afraid of not being able to go back to the happy child I was, and being carefree with my parents and my brother. I’m in college now, so part of me is just super sad that it’s my time to be an adult and accept the responsibilities that come with it. How do I get over this fear? Any advice?

I’m laying I bed crying my eyes out don’t really know why, I’m just so so tired of overthinking 24/7. I think it’s got to a point where it’s overwhelming and I feel alone. I feel like people around me don’t understand, I mean they try, but they don’t really understand… I’ve had ocd since I was very young and I’m 26 now and trying to deal with it, it’s getting worse day after day. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m just writing what I’m thinking right now, sorry about that, I think it’s actually calming me down I have like thoughts about my relationship, I want everything to be absolutely perfect all the time, my boyfriend knows about my ocd but doesn’t understand I don’t like to talk about it to him because I’m scared it will push him away He’s going to come home soon and being like « hi I’m crying I don’t know why » I don’t want him to think that I’m just negative

I’ve had one of my worst days sense OCD has started a little over a year ago, my OCD is telling me that I’m not happy with my life, as in having kids & happy with my marriage..which is made me depressed which is then triggered my suicidal ocd bc I also worry about that. Today has been horrible nonetheless..anyone have any encouraging words?

I've identified as a lesbian since 2013. I was 14. That's when I had my first crush on a girl; the typical butterflies, dreams of kissing her, holding hands, being "more" than friends. It's not a strange feeling to me. After that, during these 10 years, I've only had crushes on woman aligned individuals, I've had a few, not over 10 but not less than 5. The thing is, I've never felt sexual attraction in real life, not towards guys or girls. However, I've been exposed to porn since I was 11 or so (can't exactly remember) and I've always watched straight porn. I still find it rather enjoyable. I also tend to have fantasies that involve me being in another body, having *straight* sex with a faceless and nameless person, enjoying it. I've always (even before I realized I liked girls that way) found depictions of straight sex and male genitalia arousing. This has recently caused intense distress, fear and doubt. I've been so proud of my identity, I keep telling myself I didn't fake it at 13 or 16, why do I suddendly feel like I'm faking it now? I'm in a long time relationship with an amazing girl but I'm so afraid of acting out on my "straight" urges, not "being happy enough", needing a man, cheating on her, yadda yadda it literally ruins my day and I can't function properly. All I do is mentally backtrack, obsess over the thoughts, think that I'm secretly straight. I'm typing this down because it might help momentarily. I've been playing these thoughts in my head day after day. I feel like I'm slowly losing my identity and the part of me I felt the most "me".

I was being intimate with this girl my age and above online yesterday, and she was talking about doing intimate stuff with guys while we were doing it… I felt uncomfortable at first but I don’t like confrontation so I tried to ignore it, hoping she wouldn’t mention it again… but she kept doing it and I told her that I don’t ever want to do stuff involving dudes or anything regarding them… she said okay but my HOCD is telling me that I’m in denial because I tried to not mention it and make the conversation about her with other dudes stop…

Can you have OCD but with a friendship? Like ROCD but without the romantical side, i guess? I have this one friend that I'm beginning to obsessively worry that I don't actually want to be friends with her, but I don't understand why. She's honestly a really great person, but sometimes can trigger some of my old OCD themes (not that she knows or does this intentionally of course). We met 2 or 3 months ago before a morning uni class and see each other a couple of times a week usually, and we've met each other outside of it twice and I felt like I honestly enjoyed myself. But I can't help but shake the feeling that I just don't want to be friends. What does this mean and how do I stop obsessing over it?