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My parents don't understand my OCD and they keep getting angry at me and guilt tripping me saying that I'm hurting everyone else but I literally can't help it and I really need some advice on how to explain what I'm going through

Hi guys I'm new to this but I thought I would tell you what I'm currently going through and just get some advice. Lately I have been feeling like I am going insane, I'm scared that I am going to start hearing voices so I'm paying extra attention to everything to make sure I heard it. I once sat in silence for 15 minutes to make sure I wasn't hearing anything. I feel as if I am so hyperaware of everything that is going around me and the sounds it make, like taps, kettles, washing machines and the wind. There was one day when it was really windy and my mind went "what if the wind was trying to tell you something" and I know that's ridiculous and it's not, but then I started thinking, this is what someone with schizophrenia would think and I started to question if I believed it too! Ultimately, the sound of the wind started to irritate me and I would play music just to drown it out or just try to ignore it (This also happened with the sound of water running). I'm also scared that I'm going to start seeing things, like I'd imagine it in my head and I know it's not there but my mind always goes 'what if it is there and what if this happens', so I always check just to make sure. I'm really scared that I might be going through psychosis or developing schizophrenia. I did a few online tests and it said I might be at risk and this just petrifies me. It's all I can think about, when I go outside for walks all I think it that I might be schizophrenic, or did I really see that? or did I really hear that? Sometimes I see things in the corner of my eye and I have to double check to make sure if it's there and it always ends up being nothing. Sometimes I feel paranoid, randomly I would think that someone is staring at me and I know they aren't but I always check just in case. While searching symptoms of psychosis and schizophrenia I feel as though I can relate to some of them and I get scared that I probably have it and doubting that it is OCD. I feel like this is effecting my way of life, I haven't had an appetite in weeks and always feel a tingling in my hands and legs, I just feel on edge. I feel like I'm zoning out, like everything seems a bit blurry as if I haven't been blinking. To avoiding thinking about this I would usually go sleep, listen to music or go on twitter, just anything to try and get away from my thoughts but lately it feels like I can't even enjoy these apps anymore. I have read some of the stories on the community and it does provide momentary relief, but before I fall asleep it's the last thing I think about and when I wake up its the first thing I think about. I am exhausted. Sorry if this is a long read, I just wanted to talk about it.

Anyone have any ideas for what I can do for my birthday tomorrow? I don’t have any plans until dinner with my family. I’ve been pretty down in the dumps so I’d like to have a nice birthday.

Does anybody deal with thinking everything is cheating like I can’t even look at a guy because I think it’s cheating and I get intrusive thoughts like for example I get one like “he’s cute” even tho I don’t actually think he is and I feel so bad

My daughter is very active, hyper, crazy, full of energy, type of kid. She bursts with love and action lol. Sometimes I get annoyed with how hyper she is. This in turn makes me scared I don’t accept my daughter for who she is even though I love her greatly and love her for who she is and the person she will become as she gets older. She’s 15 months now. I spoke to my therapist about this and she told me to use the maybe maybe not phrase but it seems so hard. I went through this when she was having trouble sleeping too. I’d get upset with her and immediately be like well if I’m upset you must not accept her. But I do. I love her dearly no matter what. I just don’t understand this.

This is my first ever post on NOCD and it’s scary but I’ve reached rock bottom recently and I’m struggling to find a way out. I’ve tried talking to family and friends but no one quite understands how I feel or how my OCD affects the way I view the world and certain situations. This post is a long one but I have no idea where else to turn. About three weeks ago I went out drinking with some friends for the day, I got drunk and remember about 90% of my night with the 10% that I didn’t just being random conversation. When I woke up the next day I checked my Snapchat story, this is something I always do after drinking because I worry I posted something when drunk. When I looked everything was normal, so then I went through my Snapchat photos to make sure I hadn’t done anything embarrassing and I came across a video I had taken in the bathroom. TMI warning, but this video was me trying to locate my tampon string as I couldn’t find it and being drunk panicked so used my camera to try and help locate it. I was in a playsuit that I couldn’t remove so had to move the fabric to the side to pee so the video looks like I’m doing something rude to myself when I’m actually not. You can’t see any body parts just the camera pointed at my covered downstairs area as I’m feeling around for my tampon, but if you didn’t know that you’d most probably think I was playing with myself😭 I had no clear memory of taking this video so I panicked thinking what if I accidentally sent it to someone or posted it on my Snapchat story, this false memory/intrusive thought has stuck with me ever since then and has caused me so much distress and panic I’m unable to function. There’s no evidence to support me posting it, no one messaged me, when I asked friends if they’d seen anything they said no, I posted a story asking if anyone had seen any weird activity on my story and those who answered said no, on my Snapchat data there’s no data of me viewing my story at 2am when the video was taken (something I would have had to do in order to delete the video) but due to my fear of my intimate pictures and videos being posted I’ve convinced myself that this is what’s happened. I’m worried someone seen it and screen recorded it, someone will send it to my family, it will stop me from getting a job working with children, people are laughing at me behind my back. Anything you can think of I’ve definitely thought of it and panicked about it. I’ve just never felt an intrusive thought so strongly before, I’ve convinced myself it definitely happened and I have no idea how to get out of this situation as it’s on my mind 24/7. I unfortunately can’t afford therapy at the moment (living in the UK and a full time student) so I was just wondering if anyone has any tips or techniques that might help, I’m honestly quite desperate. I’ve tried just excepting the fact it’s out there but a part of me does not want to except that because I’m not 100% sure it is, I just feel like I’m being bullied by my own head.

My bf told me if I don’t get better he’ll leave me ? I told him about my intrusive thoughts and they ruin my days and I also deal with depression and anxiety what do I do? I love him so much i don’t want him to leave I feel like shit

I'm struggling so much and I need HELP and I wish I could get it I've been in the hospital many times because I didn't wanna be here anymore with this OCD taking over my life and the TIME it's taking AWAY from my LIFE it's been hours and hours days and days and days and the TRAUMA it's brought into my LIFE I'm so sick from this I need help and more time then just 10-12 days not a holding cell I wish I could go to the hospital in Wisconsin or Boston to get the REAL help 😔 I'm so lost with my OCD the checking and rechecking and rechecking and then I'll take Xanax or Ativan to try stop the anxiety and then it can make me feel worse at times I'm just so lost I want the COMPULSIONS to STOP it's hours, days weeks that have been taken away from me and my loved ones and my relationships they're all being slowly deteriorated turning into dust I'm in quicksand and I can't get out I'm just not functioning like a normal person at ALL I suffer with autoimmune diseases as well and I truly believe that they can trigger my mental health issues as well as PTSD and I also believe that drug addictions can happen to someone when you have an OCD and you're trying to find a way to fix one thing and then your creating another MONSTER in the end this can happen most definitely And as well as environmental things which can trigger many and people can trigger as well whether it be mentally, physically or situations they can trigger someone like the thought that you're GOOD ENOUGH for anyone especially those you care for in your LIFE I've been in the hospital eight times and I believe they're HOLDING CELLS yeah they might work for some and maybe they get you into a long term program for some people who are fortunate enough but for me I wasn't fortunate enough like so many others who aren't I was rejected at a time when I really needed the HELP and I felt this wasn't right just because I didn't have the right insurance or because my OCD wasn't the RIGHT OCD for me my OCD is cutting my hair and they wanted to qualify it as body dysmorphia which is absurd OCD is OCD whether it's rumidating thoughts or are you doing a compulsion which also has rumidating thoughts involved there's something else underlining behind it whether it's a physical illness that can trigger it or people in your life or horrible things that have happened throughout your life whatever the case may be PTSD or an overload of STRESS feelings of worthlessness not being able to take care of everybody in the WORLD that you care for feeling like you're an empath and everything that you come across your FEELING and it's too much to take from the WORLD and your not coping with how to deal with it and being able to just let go 😔 I'm an extrovert person and some people would think WOW you're so outgoing you're so easy to talk to why would you suffer with anxiety or depression or anything like that it's funny if you're an introvert and you're more closed in people are more apt to think aw that person's sad something's wrong with that person we should feel sorry for them they need help but when you're an outgoing person it's funny people don't seem to think that way unfortunately for people who are extroverts with free spirit outgoing personalities it's not always so easy for those who are this way to be accepted in the WORLD it's not that easy it's hard for people who are introverts and it's hard for people who are extroverts free spirits the WORLD doesn't always accept those who are different than the norm I suffer with OCD and in my eyes any form of repetitiveness that takes YOU away from your LIFE is an OCD and the mental health industry NEEDS to see it that way One of the hospitals I stayed in they wanted me to speak there about my LIFE and what they could do to make things better there because it was a horrible place to stay in like so many a lot of these hospitals have to CHANGE the way they format their SURROUNDINGS for those who are staying there because really truly a lot of these places are one step away from looking like a PRISON I never did speak there but I should of this industry the mental health industry has to CHANGE I'd make t-shirts for everyone to wear and it would say TRANSPARENCY so much NEEDS to be DONE and everyone NEEDS to do a part👍🏻 I'm a FREE SPIRIT and when I was in the hospital many people would say why are YOU here YOU don't look like YOU belong here isn't that funny but yet I was in the hospital eight times I wasn't fortunate enough to go into a hospital where I could stay for 30 60 or 90 days like they give to drug addicted people and that's not OKAY I think we need to look at OCD as no different than an ADDICTION and there needs to be more places for people to go to where they can stay for 30-90 days to get the RIGHT kind of HELP it's just not RIGHT FUNNY we have ALL kinds of stores on every corner but yet ALL the money that the government said they would put into MENTAL HEALTH where is it and other people have talked about putting together good mental health programs too but WHERE are they for those who are truly suffering and that don't have a GIANT pocketbook FULL of money to put themselves into a good program it's just FAIR and it's NOT ENOUGH we need a mental health store on every corner for ALL and hospitals or maybe not call them hospitals I don't know facilities for ALL those that need the HELP and longer than 10-12 days for those that NEED it so badly but who don't have the MEANS we need more places and programs and there's just NOT enough 😔🌈 And we also need to start bringing back therapy one-on-one or group therapy where people are actually getting together in-person for me I don't do well with talking to people on a computer when it comes to therapy I truly believe one-on-one talking to somebody face to face even if it's just like sitting outside on a beautiful day whatever the case may be we NEED to start bringing that back because for many you'll find that they're not getting the therapy because it's hard for them to do it that way There's just so many things that NEED to CHANGE in this industry and boy do I have a lot of ideas but and I'm not an expert but what I am an expert on is what I've seen and experienced and more has to be DONE that's all I can say and I just wish I could get the HELP I really do I really wish I could qualify to get the HELP because I'm emotionally, physically and mentally spent it's slowly killing me and I feel like my LIFE is being robbed from me for SURE 😔 I really believe that for those who are living with OCD and they don't talk about it are suffering dearly and I'm suffering I actually don't have a problem with talking to others about it which is strange I'm still very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about it but then when I'm really hurting bad I'm looking for help at times I guess when I'm really bad I'm hoping someone will LISTEN and HEAR me And sometimes it's NOT about getting the help really from that person I think I'm just sharing because I care for others and I believe there are many people who are suffering and when you talk about what you're dealing with sometimes you'll find that maybe there's somebody else that's dealing with something similar and they've never expressed how they're feeling and now they're able to open up a little bit and then it's kinda like networking too because you just NEVER know who you might encounter and so sometimes talking about your mental health issues can HELP someone else and yourself too I believe this👍🏻👍🏻 I'm a very open person but yet I'm not getting the HELP I need and I believe we're ALL connected and we need to HELP each other we really do even those who are so sick that have done horrendous things if only those kids that have done those terrible things if only we could have reached into their psyche and stopped something inside them really I truly believe we ALL can do our part when it comes to this 🌈 Just like people can say they have diabetes or some other type of physical illnesse like I went through breast cancer in 2016 and I shared that with others and people were open to listen and maybe share their stories but when you talk about your mental health yeah oh boy the STIGMA of mental health it's so horrible it really is they look at it like "Oh just be HAPPY your alive and it could be worse" or "Oh just STOP doing that don't do that ANYMORE" and then that's when I tell them there are WORSE things in LIFE than DEATH so people need to STOP using DEATH as way to tell someone to get WELL..😵‍💫 So much NEEDS to change in the mental health industry like educating everyone there needs to be a universal program for EVERYONE to take part in and it should really be mandatory for parents as well just thought and then have programs for them to take as their children get older something has to change for REAL You know it's so sad it's just so sad and I'm in tears thinking about this there a lot of people that just don't get it and sometimes I think they want to get it and yet many will tell YOU THEY'RE going through something and that's how they look at it they'll say "We're ALL going through something so GET OVER IT" this is so SAD really yeah many people go through things but it's ALL about how YOU'RE able to cope and go through it and if it's physically mentally emotionally taking over your LIFE this is not OKAY so yes there are some people that can just go through things differently than others and that's just a FACT but mental health still has to be considered MENTAL HEALTH and NOT looked at as if it's NOTHING and to STOP saying to those who are mentally suffering "JUST GET OVER IT!!" Then there are many people out there that are NOT experienced with OCD when it comes to therapy in the mental health industry which is crazy because OCD has become a GIANT when it comes to mental health and yet it's so SMALL on the radar when it comes to those who are educated in knowing how to REALLY HELP those in NEED it's really a SHAME and it's truly TIME things need to CHANGE and I just PRAY that it gets better because this is NOT OKAY This country and the mental health industry has to START creating something out there because there are so many PEOPLE who are SICK in the WORLD and when you see schools being shot up and ALL these things happening in the WORLD and stores being shot up the mental health industry NEEDS to be taken seriously it REALLY does and it's not OKAY we ALL can HELP we really can if we really try and we really CARE and how can you NOT CARE with so much sadness in the WORLD from so many who are mentally not WELL..😥 #TRANSPARENCY #WE ALL CAN DO OUR PART AND CARE 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Hi - looking for advice. I’m diagnosed OCD (HOCD/ROCD theme). TLDR - HOCD sufferer that is wondering about asexuality. Is this ocd/anxiety/medication or am I asexual? I’m currently struggling with HOCD and have been for a few years. Before this hit, I was 25yo male who identified as straight. Today I had a random thought that maybe I’m asexual - and I’m looking for advice or a better understanding of what that means. Growing up, I naturally fantasised about girls and from around the age of 15/16 would self pleasure fantasising about being intimate with girls I knew. I was an anxious kid that never really was driven by women per-say. I liked the thought of being with them, but I think I got my needs met by watching adult stuff and self pleasure. I would say that I’ve always enjoyed watching intimacy in movies etc. like I have no doubt that appeals to me. At uni I was much the same I guess. Did I have crushes? I guess so? I had certain girls I was attracted to, but again - I got my needs met with self pleasure and fantasising about them. To be clear - I never had a second thought about my sexuality at all growing up. Sometimes I felt like I wasn’t driven by sex as much as my mates were, but figured I was shy and self pleasured to meet my needs. I met my first long term partner at uni. We were essentially best friends for 6 months before one night just being intimate. At the time (and for like 6 months after), I had the butterflies and loving life, wanted to be intimate all the time etc. After that time, I only really wanted to be intimate when I drank or hadn’t seen her for a couple of days. Then as the years went on, I just kind of lost the drive to be intimate with her at all. I’d say I continued to find girls attractive and would still fantasise with them in mind. We split after 7 years and I went through a period of personal growth. I was just super happy and confident in life. But I wanted a gf and felt the need to want one. Met someone who I straight away felt physical attraction to. Not “I want to have sex” but that I thought she was pretty. We hit it off, I got butterflies, happiness etc. we tried to be intimate but I had performance issues, and then literally out of the blue one day I had a thought - “you feel nothing for her”. This starting my OCD journey at around the age of 25 to where I am today (34). I met my wife in this period but since that time at 25, I’ve never felt the full blown attraction or drive for women. It’s like I’ve been asexual since that moment. I love my wife dearly and I’m hoping to spend the rest of my life with her. I went through two years of where ocd didn’t really impact me. I’d say I was content/happy and enjoying life. But I’ve never felt that full sexual drive again. I think deep down I believe I’m straight with just a really low sex drive. I’ve always kind of described myself as someone who wants to be with women but they had to be the right one. That I couldn’t do a one night stand and I’d not enjoy it. But does that make me asexual? Or - once my OCD is back under control, does all of this just float away and I’ll find labido once again? Any thoughts?

I’m really anxious, I’ve been having really bad anxiety/ocd/intrusive thoughts the past 2 weeks over multiple different things, as soon as I get over one I think of a new one. I had a really graphic and scary dream about someone getting hurt and I woke up and thought “what if I want to do that” and it scared me because that’s not who I am, before all this I’m usually a very happy and funny person. feeling really sad and depressed like this makes me question who I am and if im going crazy. I think of scary situations in movies and my brain makes me think of myself in those situations and it scares me because it’s not who I am as a person. I feel like I don’t trust myself. Im booked in for a psygologist appointment tomorrow but I just want to know if im not going crazy, I wanna feel like ME again. I cry all day, hardly eat have no motivation for anything I just want to feel at peace again.

Why do I think this is weird? I’ve been together now for 6 months with my boyfriend. He’s really sweet and does a lot for me. I know he loves me. But he talks to a lot of girls on his Snapchat. I know he has a lot of girl friends even before I knew him. But the last few weeks a girl was reacting on his be real. I didn’t had the idea he was texting her on Snapchat because she wasn’t on his best friend list. But last week I saw a text from her on whatssap. It was a picture. He noticed I was scared so he said it was a co worker. I found it weird because I looked her up on social media because he followed her but she’s from a whole different city so that would be weird. But I tried to trust him on it because he’s really sweet and didn’t do anything before or something. But now a week later since that has happened he unfollowed her because I looked her up. Why is this and what should I do? I don’t want to ask because I don’t want so let him know I sort of stalked her. My ex boyfriend cheated on me so my trust is gone sort of and my current boyfriend knows.

For almost two months… After the first month I saw a vast improvement. My mind more calm, not bogged down and sad. But then now, even after my period, my mind is very rapid and stress and the ocd is sharper and more harsh again… wow🙄

Hello everyone, I was wondering if a therapist or anyone who is an OCD professional can read my post & PLEASE give me some closure about this!🙃🙂 I numbered my questions due to this long post. I have two main thoughts that scare me. I am afraid of not remembering if I did something that would be dangerous or harmful towards myself and I also worry about this specific event happening or being true/real. The context of the way I believe I had hurt or endangered myself is always the same. Only the details of what would have hurt me differ from time to time. I also have hit and run OCD that is also related yo harm OCD and false memory OCD. I always, or almost, have the same thoughts and am afraid of the same things. For example, every time I hit a pothole, I get triggered. 1. My question is the following : knowing I always or almost have the same two troubling and disturbing thoughts about these two events that bring me great distress, is it possible to associate that any kind of thought, image, feeling or urge to compulse related to any of these thoughts is therefore certainly related to my OCD? I ask this because I often have thoughts about past events that pop up that I worry about (not knowing how I acted, if this or this happened, if I did this to myself, etc). I also frequently have triggers and thoughts related to the two subjects I mentioned. Basically, if I know it would be right to tell myself that these thoughts automatically fall into the OCD category and that they therefore have no importance and that I shouldn’t even worry about them, the context or any relation to that, my life would be so much better. I know I must accept the fact that obsessions will occur and that I have to learn to recognize them and not feed them but I would still love your feedback. 2. Is there a neurological finding that explains that any idea having to do with the subject of the same obsession should be treated as fake, unreal? I would believe so. The brain is fascinating and can be controlled by our thoughts, that I know. I also know practicing neuroplasticity can help. 3. Can I also automatically treat these symptoms as OCD? : If I am uncertain about something happening, if I do not remember some parts of the way it happened, if I am afraid of a thought but not assured it happened or not assured it is clear in my memory, for example not knowing if it did or did not do something , if an event happened or not and that i have mental compulsions afterwards to seek logical reassurance. THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH. Sending healing vibes and much love. Stay strong. We’ve got this! ♥️

ever since i started college i have been feeling so depressed, i always fail my exams because my OCD wants me to be perfect in every way but I always end up making some sort of clumsy mistake and I end up repeating that mental compulsion again, it’s like its hard to face that uncertainty, i have been always trying and i ended up failing miserably so because of it i couldn’t start any new task like studying or cleaning because it did not feel ‘right’ so now I have failed my finals and I feel extremely bad to my parents because they spent so much of their money on my education and I just acted like it was nothing. I am 18, i don’t want my 20s to get ruined because of some mental health disorder… i have told my parents i have OCD but they think i’m lying and they think i’m just plain stupid so i can’t get therapy right now because its too expensive. Nothing in my life has been good, studies, relationships with family and friends, intellect, low self esteem, boring personality, i just feel like i was destined to suffer so i really feel like killing myself some day since all i do is just make people suffer by existing I also have ADHD that makes it hard for me to focus on one thing, however, i can tackle that and focus on a particular thing for long but i also suffer from stuttering which makes me so mad because i do want to talk with people but stuttering doesn’t let me fully talk properly and i just don’t talk at all and avoid new people i seriously don’t know what to do, my parents are considering to get me out from college, should i continue or should i leave?

How do people deal with fear of failure or intrusive thoughts that they will fail? They’re getting me down at the moment but I don’t want to give up on self improvement and dream realisation because my thoughts have convinced me I will fail.

i’ve been with the same therapist for about a year and half now and we’ve built such a close relationship and she knows everything about me. she said shes leaving NOCD in a few weeks and i don’t know what to do. i can either stop therapy or get a new therapist. neither of those options sound good to me. she knows everything and i don’t feel like talking to anyone new but i’m so upset that i can’t have her anymore. what do you guys recommend doing in this scenario. i’m so heartbroken and really don’t wanna talk to anyone else (especially cause i hate change!) pls help

I just wanted to post a picture and show my progress with therapy on here. This may seem small but it is something that has been a huge struggle for me for years. I’ve struggled with skin picking, and I now know that my skin picking is the worst when my OCD is at its worst. The top picture is how awful my skin picking was in December, and the bottom picture is what my hands look like now. My hands haven’t looked this healthy for at least 6+ years. I’m sure they will probably be red for a while and possibly scar, but it’s okay. Small wins, but I’m so happy about this 🥹

I’m really frustrated with myself because I’m having OCD over an intimate encounter I had with my fiancé the other day. I’ll start by saving that I have been assaulted and my boundaries have not been respected in past relationships. My fiancé is wonderful and so good about consent and just making sure I’m happy. Earlier in our relationship, we talked about how he would take extra care to make sure I was happy and on board with what was happening in an intimate encounter, and I would make sure to tell him if I ever felt uncomfortable. The other day, I asked him to use a restraint on me which we’ve used before and he was careful as usual in putting it on me, but he didn’t ask if it was too tight. It wasn’t too tight but my brain still went, “Why didn’t he check to see if it was too tight?” I felt silly and didn’t say anything about it until later, and my fiancé apologized and said because we’d use this kind of restraint before and it was pretty easy to operate, he felt confident in his ability to do it correctly without it being too tight on me. He also said that I can tell him if something is too tight, and that he trusts me to do this. I feel completely safe with him but my OCD tends to latch onto my fears - one of which is being assaulted and abused again - not by my fiancé specifically but just in general - and it feels like there’s an unnecessary alarm going off in my head being like, “The fact that he didn’t ask you if it was too tight is bad! This is bad - it is a warning sign! Danger!” I’m trying to not feel too guilty about it because I have been through a lot in my past relationships and I am not my thoughts, but it’s hard. And annoying. I feel like it’s such a niche type of OCD and sometimes I wonder if anyone gets where I am coming from or would have advice for dealing with this.

Because of my contamination OCD, I felt annoyed with people not caring about the covid-rules back than, feeling like they were only caring about themselves. It made me angry, because I did everything for years and still did to make sure nobody could get sick/infected with anything. Was this my OCD talking and getting annoyed with people? I know my fear of making other people sick was OCD and I was exaggerating, but still I could also feel like others were selfish and irresponsible for not doing anything to prevent others. I hated myself for feeling annoyed with them and never made this clear to anyone. Is this my OCD? Do other people feel annoyed with people for not taking responsibilities and risking harm for others?

How many people feel like they do better on meds and who feels like it doesn't help much?