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I’ll be doing something normal and I won’t even have an intrusive thought and my brain will be like “SEE? This proves you’re not _____” etc.. like it just AUTOMATICALLY reassures me. Maybe this a symptom of denial 👎👎or maybe it’s OCD

Hi, I’ve seen in so many places that to help your OCD you can make jokes/ non-engagement responses but I’m really struggling how to do that with POCD. I have a thought about being a pedo/ doing something and I say ‘maybe, maybe not’ but it doesn’t help because I do not want to be one!

Hi again!! Lately I’ve been worrying a lot about getting murdered or kidnapped. Especially since I’m about to embark on a 13 hour drive alone. And I’m a female driving to see my boyfriend. (Who I see all the time and nothing has happened) I’ve been having a very specific intrusive thought. That my boyfriend is secretly a serial killer or is going to become one after killing me one day. He has given me absolutely no reason to think this about him, and I trust and know him very well. But then I think back to serial killers who were married and how their spouses never knew. Then I’m like well what if he’s faking the entire thing to trick me and then kill me. It gets in my mind and it stays. I’ve been trying to get rid of this thought. I know it’s not true, but y’all know how it is. Any tips?

My main compulsion is checking for arousal (like in my head I'd check or imagine seeing another woman naked or kissing them) and eventhough I wouldn't like it and feel nausea or tightness in my chest nearly every time, there are times where I can't physically imagine a person naked in my head and that's what scares me because it feels like what if the thoughts are true and that I'm actually attracted to this person. Plus the groinal responses down there don't help. I'd be sweating and feeling anxious in my chest and sweating yet the groinal response make it feel that everything else is not true. It scares me that the thoughts are becoming true

So I keep trying to let intrusive thoughts go by telling them "Yeah, sure, whatever" but it always feels like they keep coming back, especially when I keep thinking about the trigger which shouldn't even be a trigger. Am I doing something wrong here?

Im having this period again where i cant move forward recovery and im stuck. Ocd attacks your values, we know that, I value being a good person. Sometimes im afraid to use disregarding/ignoring thoughts cause i feel like im avoinding a real problem like i disrespected someone and instead of realizing it and apologise, i just ignore it cause it makes me feel bad... I dont made this up, i've seen people on the internet who uses acceptance and ignoring negative thoughts to everything, they use it in an unhealthy way, to make themself feel better,but they never apologise to people or if they realize they arent behaving well, they just ignore it because they dont want to deal with it cause it makes them feel bad... Thats why im afraid to ignore thoughts that stresses me cause im afraid im being a jerk and i dont work on it cause i dont want to feel bad... Ocd made the solution a problem too...

I have struggled with OCD/ROCD in the past when I have been in relationships that have had red flags, and been super unhealthy. Before I was on medication (Sertraline 150mg), my general anxiety and OCD was crippling to the point I would vegetate in my room, watch the same thing over and over so I wouldn't get triggered, avoid certain types of music ect. Of course, being on my meds doesn't mean I don't have flare ups, and they certainly aren't as strong as they used to be - like when I have had niggles of POCD or OCD around incest ect - and I am able to deal with it. Until a couple of days ago... My BF is very intuitive and seems to be able to sense when I am about to nose dive. We have conquered ROCD/anxiety before and have come out the other end. He's been so lovely and amazing and always researches and asks family how to support me. It's important to note that we are long distance, him living in Sweden, and we have been together now for two years three months this upcoming June. We visit each other every couple of months, the longest gap in between being five months. We are hoping to close the gap, and I am anxious at the fact I am even writing that. Both my boyfriend and my Mum have noticed patterns of my ROCD, especially when I've recently come home from a trip to see him. I go over the same thoughts of: - Do I love him? - Do I want to break up?/Should we break up?/Would breaking up stop how I am feeling? - Am I happy in the relationship?/Am I happy with him? I've been reading articles online, speaking to both my mum and bf, not really doing anything when I come home from work besides laying in bed and mindlessly scrolling through tik tok... I even don't really want to listen to music much because I feel like it will trigger me... I've even avoiding my boyfriend, his messages, and even when he calls I am anxious, my heart rate is up and I will talk to him about the same things - even the idea of breaking up - which just makes us both sad and we cry. We have bond touch bracelets, so when I am at work I will send him taps to let him know I am thinking about him, that I miss him ect. It's only been a couple of days but I am already exhausted. I am going to see him for two weeks in July and I'm like what if I am still feeling like this by then? Our relationship isn't perfect, but when you compare it to my two previous relationships, and they really did affect my mental health badly, I feel like I shouldn't be feeling all this... there is no logical reason as to why... Up until these last couple of days I have been happy when I speak to him, have our weekly date night on Skype and watch films and play video games, read together on messenger before we go to bed, send memes ect. I'm just tired and don't know what to do....

Have anyone tried erp for soocd? How does it look like? I heard that it's about not caring or exposing yourself to the trigger or many other things. I'm a little confursed now how it all works

My OCD has ruined my life so far. I am only 24 years old but it has completely overwhelmed me. Various treatments, medication, nothing works. It has robbed me of seeing my loved ones, family, friends, cost me a relationship, jobs, seeing my grandmother before she died. I am so tired of being a prisoner in my own head.

I haven’t been in here for a while. Thought to use this again. I have now 12 diagnoses and after so many therapists, specialists, doctors/psychologists/psychiatrists etc the ones that I have a hard time stopping the compulsions for (checking mainly) is due to PTSD. It is trauma response. Some of my OCD compulsions are better and some came back worse like dream journaling. I can’t enjoy anything I love because it becomes my source of obsession or anxiety. I got rid of one compulsion but then have something new. I know I’m going to forget something and that’s still my fear. My insomnia is better at times and I’m not on meds. I’m trying to get into a residential or an IOP but I’m getting denied and regular therapists are denying to see me because of my severity. A while back I had severe contamination fear where it took me 8hrs to clean a bathroom and 3hrs to shower. And I would shower after using the bathroom every time. I would use Lysol wipes on my body. I was scared of my own bodily fluids like my tears. So after being exhausted from doing compulsions and not remembering and having to redo I would cry and that in itself was my fear. After working intensively with a specialist I got it under control though now I need to shower before and after I go out. I’m scared that what I had to do to function and survive back then would come back to haunt me only because it was due to trauma. I’m scared people would judge me and ridicule and call me crazy without understanding why. I don’t think it’s any of their business to know and it’s my private life. No one wants their private life to be exposed. I left where I was because my roommate was disgusting. He was found unconscious actually because he wouldn’t clean up after the cats and himself, flues all over and let the cats relieve themselves on and under his bed. He deceived me about the place and so I had to leave. I stayed with my friend for a while and found another place. One of my roommates is a total sweetheart. It’s like living at the sanctuary again. The other is horrible. She’s almost 50 and doesn’t wash her hands after using the toilet and then touches things. One of the cats here is immuno-compromised and has kidney disease. She doesn’t care. She is a hypocrite because she’s always talking about being considerate to others. One day one of my cats went up to her and rubbed his eyes, cheek, mouth, body all over her legs and hand. She just came out of the bathroom. She picked him up and brought him to me. She doesn’t see that she is a walking germ spreader. I couldn’t wash him with soap and water-hates it so much he scratched me. He groomed himself and so did my other cat. Now my anxiety is sky high. It was already bad where I am spraying myself with a disinfectant (safe for people and animals and yes I made sure many times with the manufacturer and many different vets and vet techs). I don’t even feel clean after doing laundry and showering. All the hard work I’ve put into was for nothing. I’m not taking showers every bathroom though I limit to using it twice a day. And I’m not using Lysol wipes because of my cats. Plus it made me bleed. Im scared to touch anything she touched so I’d clean and keep my room clean but now that she touched my cat… and yes both of my cats stay in my room. He ran out. I don’t know how to stop this compulsion. The vets and vet techs (I’ve spoken to at least 10 different people) all said cats getting sick from people is a very low risk. Highly unlikely but like any contamination fear and asking your doctor, it’s still not good enough. I’m really scared that they will get sick due to my negligence and have to see them suffer and the treatment would cost so much I can’t afford them. I bottle fed one and the other adopted from being abandoned again. They are my emotional support animals and don’t want them to suffer. They are my lifeline and keeping me in check. I’m paranoid about people and scared that off I can’t care for them due to my health or being gone that someone would take them and they would abuse or neglect or not take both or days are numbered. I’m too attached to them and I want them with me for a long time. I know the inevitable will come but not in the near future. And for this I do not want to gamble or risk their health. But what if I’m making their life worse but they don’t have a say or choice in the matter because they don’t know any better and possibly a better life. I luckily have some resources for veterinary care but still not everything is affordable. And better sage than sorry. I’m thinking of getting insurance for them. When children get sick parents don’t hesitate to go to the dr because their health is more important and not money. I want that for my cats too. I wrote a lot and I know I’ve forgotten some stuff. That alone is making me anxious. She actually used the bathroom as I typed this and she just came out. She flushed and opened the door right away. Did not hear any water from the sink. If something is confusing please ask. Why do people think that’s acceptable. Then again why do people wear shoes inside the house. But seriously she is so gross and I’m stuck here. Can’t even go out because she threatened to harm my cats and likely she would given how she’s crazy. I’m their first line of defense and I have no where to go. Oh and I’m sick too.

Since my recent flare up, I feel like i'm now i'm now obsessing over OCD. I open Youtube to look up videos about how to live with it, I open NOCD almost immediately after waking up, I'm downloading books recommended, saving podcast episodes, joining online suport groups. I didn't notice it before but it almost feels counter productive? But I also do want to recover I don't even know what to even ground myself to at this point

So I’m 33 diagnosed with ocd at 20 but had it since about 17 or 18.. I’m older now a little wiser of my disorder but I’ve always wondered after going weeks or days feeling fine completely forgetting about the waves or spikes were even there and the obsessive fear or doubts existed . Why is it they always randomly come back.. if we’re fine for those few days or weeks not even worrying not even freaked out not even realizing we have this disorder why do the waves or intrusive thoughts that get us in our spirals in the first place come back randomly? I’ve always wondered why that is ? For example I suffer from harm ocd soocd.. and relationship ocd.. when I’m not obsessing I know who I am what I love what I cherish what I like.. for those couple weeks I feel my absolute self not a care in the world for the shit I went through weeks ago or even days ago when dealing with the disorder.. so why does it always come back when things are great for that certain amount of time ?

I always feel like I should tell my mom about my intrusive thoughts. It’s constantly in my head but I don’t really want to as I feel she won’t get it and it may be a compulsion to want to tell her. Has anyone experienced this?

I'm really afraid that one day my traumatizing exposure to adult content is going to ruin my life. I'm already convinced that it has because of how addicted I became and how it escalated. I was never worried about the things I worry about now before being exposed to this. I seriously feel like this stuff has messed up my life and it kept me from growing out of my teens normally. I have very low self esteem, low self confidence and respect, and I'm constantly worried and depressed about the past. It's so dark and it's disgusting and I can't do anything about it now. Very few people know about how I'm suffering with this but they don't know the details. I know I'm not what my OCD tells me I am and I know that porn has fucked up my mind and my well being but I also fear that these actions are going to mess things up for me in the future

I've noticed myself becoming so hypervigilant and on the look out for triggers or anything that could possibly trigger me. Sometimes when walking on rhe streets I'd always see things that trigger me (e.g. rainbow or women dressed like tomboy, avoiding circles or spheres) and sometimes because I get so hypervigilant I might have the same anxious reaction to the opposite sex (which is what I was always attracted to) and then it leads to a spiral of 'wait why did I react anxious or feel anxiety when seeing that guy or seeing something that looked like a p***is). For example, today i was in the kitchen and was feeling super hypervigilant when picking up bowls or any utensils that in my head were sphere shaped or in some crazy way resembled a woman's chest area (i can't even say the word sometimes). My mum was holding a chilli (which could potentially or in my head be associated with a male private part) but because I was so hyperaware before, I had the same anxious reaction to when I turned and saw the chilli. And that made me question myself even more like 'what if i don't want to be with a man? Or what if this meant that i was gay/bi?' Also with checking sometimes are people sometimes unable to imagine? (Like checking if feeling aroused by imagining a woman naked) - sometimes it works to imagine it and i feel nausea but there are times where i can't imagine it and it scares me like what if it's true or i liked it this whole time?

Is it worth scheduling a free call with somebody on here? I see a therapist and have a psychiatrist but have been really struggling lately and just trying to find new things that work. I’ve been on here for a bit and it has been so helpful to hear everybody’s stories and to know that I’m not alone, but just trying to do more to get this pain in the ass under control so I can enjoy life! I’m on medicine and I talk to my therapist monthly but I just feel like I need to do soemtjing else because I am just at a breaking point right now and am so frustrated.

Anyone here struggle with intense, intrusive thoughts and is also a Christian? It’s been so hard to believe that God can forgive me for the thoughts that I have been dealing with specifically related to causing harm to those I love, myself and even total strangers, and as a follower of Jesus I’ve wondered so many times how on earth could I possibly have thoughts like this? It terrifies me

I recently told my fiance what has been going on with me since it just started to occur and I couldn't stop myself from crying and hiding it. I currently have been having intrusive thoughts like POCD becuase of something I watched on TV. And now I am having regrets on telling him becuase I am scared he might tell someone and my life will change I never wanted these thoughts in the first place I don't want to be seen as a pedo for something I didn't do or can control yet mentally....I'm scared he might use it against me now it's making it worse and idk what to do I love him so much but I keep thinking he will tell his family since they are so close....he told me he wouldn't but it just keeps bothering me I love his family I don't want them to think differently of me....what do I do?

Lately I’ve been actively trying to adjust the way I see my anxiety, and the way I respond to it. Some days I get unlucky and it’s just day, sitting in my chest all day, I don’t know the specific reason most of the time, and usually when this happens I get so angry that it won’t go away, I end up spiraling trying to figure out why it’s there, and I end up having more anxiety about how frustrated I am that I’m having anxiety. So, recently I decided to treat my hard anxiety days like I would any lifelong physical illness. For example: I have IBS and days where I have pain most of the day while it is frustrating, I just acknowledge its presence and be gentle with myself in the ways I need to, but for the most part I go about my day, so I’ve started treating my anxiety this way, instead of lingering on why it’s there and why I can’t shake it completely, I just go “oh, I guess todays a flare up, that sucks” and just do what I can that day and allow it to coexist. I think we forget a lot of mental illnesses (if not all) are lifelong in some capacity, and that like physical illnesses they come and go and we have bad days, weeks, months, and than good ones again. I’m not saying physical illnesses are easier to deal with of course, but we tend to be kinder to ourselves about their validity and learn to coexist with them, when mental illnesses are the same. I’m nowhere near perfect at this method yet, but it’s helped tremendously, I’ve started wanting to actually go out and do things even when I don’t feel great, because I’ve decided it can be present but so can I. Just thought I’d share this perspective shift in case it might work for others like it has myself ❤️

I have ocd but my house is always messy I can’t seem to clean it and when I try it’s like I can’t do it right and I can’t get things organized the way they need to be and I obsess over it constantly thinking it can be better so I give up and then I stress and get depressed over it but I don’t know what to do