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the NOCD Community

I used to have Harm OCD but ever since I watched that Black Mirror episode called “Shut Up and Dance” my obsession has been on POCD. For a long time I was petrified of typing “child porn” into google so I did a lot of avoiding. But then I started trying to get reassurance that nothing bad would pop up if you googled it anyway. I got so fed up with the thought that I ended up typing it in myself. I felt disgusted and guilty, and was naive enough to think I would at least no longer have to worry about typing that anymore. But then all these what ifs pooped up like “you didn’t check Bing, Twitter, Yahoo, etc”. So I ended up checking again to ensure myself that nothing would pop up. Then it got worse where I typed in some really disgusting things into google again because I just couldn’t handle the anxiety and uncertainty. I felt stupid every time and powerless. I managed to go about a week without checking but today an intrusive memory came back about a youtube link that had a questionable title in it when I google searched. So ended up going back and checked the video only to of course see that it was nothing horrible. I feel scared and paranoid. Like I have no control of myself. I hate this compulsion and I can’t love myself for doing all this. I’ve suffered from groinal responses and other sexual intrusive thoughts involving this theme but I just want someone to tell me I’m being paranoid. My mind won’t shut up about all this. It just wants me to keep checking and checking to make sure google is safe. How can I possibly love myself after all this? I don’t want this but the anxiety is unbearable and I can barely breathe. I didn’t think it would ever get this bad and it feels like even when I resist OCD wins anyway... or at least I hope it’s OCD.

I think I’m nearly over this..The only thing left is the anxiety if i see a handsome man and the on tv I get anxious that I might be aroused but I never am... Any tips on how to overcome that anxiety?

Hello fellow OCD sufferers. I signed the lease for a mid-century 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, attached garage flat today. It’s in an artsy part of the city and they’re newer so there has always been high demand. I originally applied in 2012, was put on the waiting list, and was finalllly chosen last week. It’s supposed to be an exciting time for me, but I am beyond stressed and scared. I am the absolute worst when it comes to uncertainty, which I understand is a common theme for many OCD folks. I am wondering, how do you think a person living with (mostly) Just Right OCD can better control the stress and anxiety brought on by overwhelming worry about things they don’t know for certain and cannot control? Do you know of any books, blogs, podcasts, etc. that would help me out? Thank you for your help! s

my ocd is never gonna go away i hate it someone please help it hurts so much emotionally

I have severe hit and run OCD. not sure who is on this app but wanted to connect with other people with OCD. I always worry I hit someone while driving and have to go back to check and make sure there’s no one on the ground. Anyone else out there dealing with this?

Does anyone else here suffer with guilt over real event ocd or false memory ocd? I don’t know how to cope with this feeling. So much of it feels like false memory but I’m so scared to let myself be happy in case I actually did something but I can’t remember a specific incident just what feels like random images which could be false memory ocd. How do you all deal with this it weighs on me so heavily!

Doing ERP on your own? This article might be helpful: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/

Could someone help me identify my pure o obsessions and compulsions? Since it's a pure o type it involves lots of thinking that makes it difficult for me to analyse? Anybody. If u reply I will describe my situation

What’s the best exposure therapy for hocd? I can not afford a therapist as I’m a college student and don’t want to ask my parents for help because I don’t want to have to explain what I’m going through to them. Does anyone know the best ways to help me with exposure for hocd?

I’m deteriorating so fast. I’m getting panic attacks everyday, floating anxiety, bad depression. Not sleeping well, have to work 16 hrs a day and lonely, therapy isn’t helping. I really need help

How do I know if I’m asexual or if it’s really just hocd? Ive been obsessing over this for days. I don’t want to be asexual at all. I consider myself straight and not to long ago I got over the themes of gay and bisexuality of hocd. I don’t think about sex all that much maybe one every two weeks and I do want sex one day right now I just have that eh like it ok or whatever feeling about it and I don’t know does this stuff mean I’m asexual I have had slit of crushes before but I don’t know if I’m asexual. I need help!??

i feel like i’ve lost all my emotions. i’ve been through some trauma and instability this year plus my ocd started a year and some ago. i’m 14 and on 100 mg of sertraline. anybody have this or wanna talk about it?

So I have never got to tell my story out of all the forums that I’ve read and I just wanna share mine. Any advice is appreciated or similar stories are welcome to be shared. I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago I just really knew of him but one night at a party I approached him and we talked and from then he played kinda hard to get so I just kept asking him to go on a date.. and that was all it took. We were connected like whole heartedly. I always said that I had found my lobster. I have always struggled with having extreme jealousy issues. Always assume the others cheating or that they don’t love me or like scared they will go out and be with other girls. 6 blissful months went by and then one morning I woke up and just felt like a switch had flipped. I was devastated this was what I believe is the love of my life and now I woke up just confused. Questioning my love, if it was true, someone else. It was horrible. And still is.

This is needing advice/ support and kinda a rant. I’ll keep it short. Life has been really stressful lately. I have ROCD. I question often if I love my husband. I also get very obsessive about my feelings (if I’m fully happy in life, if my emotions are being blunted by medicine, so forth). I have been working hard to overcome it, but sometimes with the way life is I have trouble. Our MIL had to move in with us. She’s disabled and can’t afford to live on her own. This has made her so depressed. She’s negative all the time. But she’s also very picky. She likes things her way. We are undergoing construction on our house and she keeps questioning the people and complaining. It drives my husband and I crazy. There are other stresses going on but not worth going into. My husband is getting fed up. Life has been so busy and stressful he’s feeling down. It makes me feel down, and puts me in an ocd/depressive cycle. I feel like I’m numb to life right now. I’m getting little enjoyment out of things. And when I do, it’s only on my own. I come home and home is just a ball of stress. Even when my husband is in a good mood, I just can’t get over what’s going on. I’m not talkative. I feel like being alone, I can’t enjoy our time together. It’s like I want to be mad and upset. It’s easier I think. I don’t know. Our 1 yr anniversary is coming up next month and it’s horrible but I feel like I don’t even wanna celebrate. We were so happy on our wedding day. And life since then has been non stop stress. I feel stuck guys. I don’t know what to do. Life is getting in the way of us being able to connect and be close. In the beginning I was positive and and strong, but I think I’m just worn out now. Of course my ocd loves to feed of the thoughts that I’m not happy and this means I don’t love my husband. And I’m doing ERP on it. But anyways that’s it. Anything anyone has to say is appreciated. Everyone on this sub is amazing.

Just wanted to vent a little bit. My OCD has come back terribly in the past few days. I feel like whenever I start talking to a girl I like, my HOCD and ROCD ramps up. I’m getting to the point where I don’t even want to talk to anyone, female or male. I don’t know what to do. Nobody around me even understands what I’m going through or treats it like it’s not a big deal. I have a young daughter and I feel like I can’t take care of her. I can’t hold a job, a relationship, friendship or anything else of value. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m slowly starting to lose my drive to live and I don’t know what to do. Any advice ?

So I’m about to enter the eleventh grade this year, in September, and I’ve started thinking about university and what I want to study; however, my OCD has been hard regarding the uncertainty revolving around the question of whether or not I’ll actually get into the university I want to get into. I don’t know how to deal with the stress! Does anyone have some tips? Thank you so much.

My parents wanna kick me out if I dont take my benzos. I dont know what to do. Due to OCD fears taking them is hard. Help.

Guys, do any of you take medication? If so, would you reccomended it and how does it make things better? Is there any side effects you have experienced?

TLDR: navigating responsibility OCD with obsessions about climate change and social justice. Does anyone else have obsessions around climate change and social justice? How do you separate what is a reasonable, ethical concern from what is an OCD reaction? For example, I bought dish towels today and am lying in bed feeling guilty because I bought them new (excessive consumerism) and because I'm worried they were made unsustainably or in a sweatshop. It's very hard to dismiss these as "ocd worries" because like, it's good to try to have a lower carbon footprint, and to try to be socially responsible! But I don't seem to have a response between "fuck the earth I guess" and "I did what was cheap/easy instead of what's responsible, so I'm as much a part of the problem as anyone, the planet is dying and people are suffering because of me, blah blah blah." Anyways, if anyone has tips on sticking to their morals without being overwhelmed by OCD let me know! I've only known I have it for about a year so I'm still figuring it out.

warning: sibling related stress, uncleanliness, new environment stress sooo my sister just moved in with me and she’s always been really messy since we were kids. i haven’t lived with her sense so this is the first time i knowingly have ocd while living with her and the messiness is eating me alive, not because of the stereotype that ocd folks are neat freaks but because cleaning is one of my most popular compulsions. she has the house in a constant messy state and it’s made it so difficult to avoid obsessions because i can’t compulse to make them go away- it’s too messy that i don’t even know where to begin. then it just causes more stress, which causes more obsessions and the cycle starts over again. any tips for me/ has anyone been in a similar experience?