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Very frightened about lack of sleep

I've seen many things tbh. I've seen spells, cursed items, and more. These images play in my head and then I get intrusive thoughts saying horrible things will happen to people I love. It's been so hard to deal with that I don't even sleep well anymore. Anybody know how to solve this?

So, yesterday I found out that one of my coworkers (I'm her boss) cries because I'm so mean to her every day and the last time she felt as bad as I make her feel was when her dad was in the hospital, and that everyone encouraged her to report me because of how awful I am, including MY BEST FRIEND'S SISTER. I genuinely cannot think of a single time I've been mean, let alone so mean she wrote a resignation letter, cries every day in front of everyone, and is scared of me. How can I be that mean to someone and not even realize it? I'm not doing anything unusual, so I'm being that mean just by naturally being myself. I feel like the worst person on earth. I want to quit so badly, I can't continue working with this girl, she deserves better than me. I can't stop crying, I had no idea I'm such an awful person to be around. I've never felt more autistic in my life. I'm so genuinely shocked by this. I thought I was friends with everyone and that we were all fine. But nope, I got reported and they all hate me because I'm so mean to them and especially one girl. I don't know what to do other than resign. I don't know how to process this.

Yesterday I started taking paroxetine. Is there someone who is taking it? What dose are you taking and what was the dose you where starting with? When it started to work?

So I watched Barbie yesterday with my girlfriend. It was okay, a bit strange, certainly a different experience. Ryan Gosling was definitely a scene stealer and I won’t lie he was really funny in the role. Which is exactly what has triggered me. My brain seemingly just jumps to the conclusion of “that means you’re gay” and it’s been doing my head in all day. I’m constantly trying to reassure myself and it’s exhausting. I never rated Ryan Gosling really (this is the first film of his I’ve ever seen) but now every time I so much as see his face anywhere I have an anxiety attack of sorts, it’s just strange man… I never gave the actor a second of thought in the past. Oh well, this is nothing new really… My ocd as of lately has found itself attached to specific people from time to time it’s strange…

How is everyone?? Is there something you want to talk about?

Do you still describe yourself as having a specific subtype even if it doesn’t happen super frequently and doesn’t cause a huge amount of distress? For example I’ll have an occurrence occasionally that would fall under harm OCD or POCD but assuming I have OCD and not just anxiety, it was all originally triggered back when I realized that I likely have ROCD, which is the main one for me.

Been seeing an amazing guy and I'm attracted to him and he treats me better than anyone I've met. I cant be present and I question every single thing and I broke it off because I've only managed one calm lovely month out of 4 but I miss him a lot and still feel terrible. Is this just a breaking up with a lovely man thing or is this regret? I know he will support my mental health through anything and I'm terrified of losing out on him due to this. Thanks in advance and sending so much love to you absolute warriors x

Lately I have felt like I care less about everything. People, hobbies I used to enjoy. Etc. can ocd do this to you after you’ve been fighting a flare up for awhile ? My POCD has been back pretty intense for about 2 months.

...and only recently (within the past couple years) fell into mental illness, how do you deal with grief over the life you used to live? The life without constant fear, the life that was normal... the life you loved and lost because of anxiety. The kind of life you might have to accept you could never really get back. It all feels so awfully fresh to me, I can so clearly remember what it was like before, even if almost all of my habits have changed because of one anxiety or another. I can't remember how I used to do most things (particularly when it comes to my own hygeine--though I know it came naturally and wasn't this fear-involved or time consuming) and I feel lost. Part of me knows my life is now different and while some habits need to be trimmed down or stopped altogether, I can't always figure out which because all of them spike anxiety at the thought of quitting. My "new normal" has almost totally erased my "old normal". Just a vent really, but if anyone's been in the same boat, I hope you have found some modicum of peace...

I have a constant fear of being a psychopath both physically and mentally… Dahmer is my biggest trigger.. hearing what he does and why he did it makes me scared… I don’t want to be a bad person I don’t think I currently am.. I’m just scared and shaking it feels so real but I keep letting myself know it’s just a thought and that one thought doesn’t define my future or what I do with my life. I LOVE, I CARE, and most of all I PROTECT. Rough night today but progress is progress.

My ocd has completely crippled me. I have become prisoner to it and I want to break out so bad. I'm constantly worried with the what ifs. Terrified my thoughts will manifest into reality, no matter how dark. Practicing rituals that cause me distress. I am even so fixated and worried about my girlfriend, if she doesn't answer or respond soon enough,it quite literally feels like the end of the world. I want out of this ocd, I can't take it. My thoughts FEEL SO REAL.

This morning my cat was following my everywhere and my harm theme was so intense after a nightmare I had last night, I could not calm down because wherever I went she went there with me and I kept avoiding. It pains me so freakin much, she is such a sweet and loving kitty and it's so horrible that I can't even be near her and give her the love she demands due to my harm ocd. I felt so anxious and scared and at one point I even felt so annoyed with her and it scared me! I sat down on the floor outside my room and started sobbing and suddenly said out loud "I can't deal with this anymore" and at that point I felt impeding doom and felt that I was going to get up at any sec and hurt my cats and my family, I really thought 'this is it, it's about to happen' ...I don't get this, it felt so fkcn real, I did not do anything but I literally felt I was going to and now i'm so traumatized :(

A am a catholic but I have bad thoughts that God is greedy since he wants us to submit and give our everything to him. I am about to cry while typing this because I feel bad for saying that because I live Him so much and don’t want to have those thoughts anymore.

I just became a father and now any experiencing pain in the abdomen. Immediately looked for symptoms online but I fear of it being Cancer. I don’t have any tests or diagnostics saying it’s cancer but I can’t stop looking up more info on the internet, I’m 33 and I know it’s rare for me to get it but I keep having extreme anxiety and panic attacks that keep me visiting the ER for further testing. I have followed up with doctors and they are running tests but I keep thinking I won’t be there for my family!

So im a believer, i want to follow Christ more, and i learn everyday about Him and God, and what the bible really means. The problem is that there are things that are really scary for ocd people. And for me its the existence of demons that can effect you. I accept that the Devil exist and there are demons but the thing that they can speak to you or affect your life is really scary to me, and i always say that thats not true, demons cant have an effect on me cause im with God. But that seems like an escape. Many people view intrusive thoughts as words from the demons,the enemy, and mental illness as their power over you. And viewing my thoughts like this is stressing me out. I remember one night i was thinking im going crazy or demons are taking my soul cause i had alot of scary intrusive thoughts, i was afraid satan is talking to me, and it was so scary... the only thing that helped was that i labeled it as ocd and just my mind playing with me. But if i say this, then i start to think that well the good things that happening to me maybe its not God, its just my mind...i just imagine it like its God... and some would say this is the enemy trying to convince me that all is just a fairytale... Idk how people with ocd should accept that demons can talk to you, like its so scary, it will make our religious ocd worse.

Can anyone relate? After a stressful time in my life I now know I started to experience depersonalisation… I had a panic attack at the time and it started thoughts such as ‘ who am I? Am I in a dream? Am I someone else or in someone else’s dream?’ That then stuck as I am so scared of mental illness and losing my grip on reality . Now … because I know I would actually BELIEVE my thoughts if I was in psychosis my ocd thoughts change to ‘ I am someone else help! ‘ rather than questioning … does that make sense ? Anyone else relate I’d really appreciate it as I feel like mine is too rare to be ocd 😳

i am in such fear of my partner cheating especially because we have been arguing a lot lately and we’ve been disconnected. this is the roughest stage our relationship has ever been through. the thought is plaguing my whole day and making me want to go into a shell and not talk to anyone at all, and to be alone for the rest of my life so i can be safe. but i know that is no way to live. i value my relationship but its so scary. and i know people can say don’t worry about it if it’s not in your face right now, all you can do is hope for the best. but i’m the type of person to not want to be smiling and happy in a cheaters face. i have been cheated on before its one of the worst feelings in the world and it scars you. it makes you look at trust, people and the world differently. i am living in fear and i just want peace. i can’t do this anymore

i have no idea if this needs a trigger warning or not, but i go into some detail about my intrusive thoughts so i thought it was better safe than sorry my ocd was bad as a younger kid, i wasnt diagnosed nor did i even know about it. though im not diagnosed yet, im 100% sure i have ocd and ive never been more confident in something (i wish i could get a diagnosis but im young, scared ppl wont believe me, and my parents dont understand ocd and think it's just my anxiety– but that's not the point of this post) as i grew older, my ocd wasn't super bad but i was very sad a lot of the time. recently, within the last year, im the happiest ive ever been. i dropped a person that made me feel terrible, i started dating my best friend of three years and he makes me the happiest man on earth (i have not a single complaint in the world about him), and i have a close group of a few friends who i love. i also came out as trans and gay to my family after years, which felt like a giant weight off my shoulders. overall, been an amazing year, but as i got happier, my ocd got worse. i feel like now that im happy and have something to lose, my intrusive thoughts have something to cling onto– and it's a variety of intrusive thoughts (thoughts about my loved ones leaving me/dying, thoughts that my loved ones actually hate me, thoughts that my life could come crashing down from one little thing that either happened in the past or that will happen in the future, etc etc) i feel like a shit person for it, i feel like a shit person for crying all the time when im happy and i feel like a shit person for my thoughts. im a kid still, i just want my brain to leave me alone and i don't know what to do about it it's gotten to the point where i can't sleep because im so overwhelmed, i guess i just want reassurance? ive heard that reassurance isnt good for ocd, but i honestly just kinda want reassurance that this is normal, that im not alone so is it normal for my ocd to be worsening now that im happier? if so, what do i do about it? i feel lost, im tired, thank you

Does anyone else’s cause them to “obsess” over health, what’s happening with the body, the need to triple and quad check pulse etc? How do I stop! I spend every second of the day over it. It’s a lot, down to legit using the bathroom. I mean, I obsess over it. Have to check so many times etc. everything!