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I’m dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts that I feel the need to pray or cleanse away. I wish I could trust myself to know I don’t need to do the compulsion but I’m scared.

TW: sexual related things This is a form of confession I guess, but it’s something I’ve really regretted despite it being sorta recent- like earlier this year, so I had this friend and I thought I had a crush on them and bc of that when I mastu*hated I used to imagine them and me … I don’t even wanna talk about it. And whenever I text them now I just feel so guilty and I hate that I did that. I don’t even have a crush on them and even if I did I just feel so disgusted. I don’t mastur*ate anymore either because ocd also puts thoughts into my head while I do it, but yea. That’s about it

I have really been struggling the past few weeks. I have suicidal/harm OCD, and I’m very often met with intrusive awful suicidal thoughts that feel so so real. Recently, my therapist said that I might also be dealing with some trauma regarding these thoughts. Tonight, my brain kept telling me that I am past help and eventually, my therapist won’t know how to help me and I’ll end up harming myself. Sometimes I feel so alone and I have so much doubt about whether my suicidal thoughts are ocd or not… any advice?

This obsession/theme is very confusing and I haven’t found anybody else who’s described it. Basically I am afraid of… speaking? Not like, a fear of public speaking, but like when I talk (or think about a future situation where I’ll need to talk) I get anxious. It’s become an automatic response. It’s stemming from me being afraid of saying inappropriate things while talking, or saying things that sound like inappropriate things while I’m speaking. I had really good therapy today, where I learned to not answer/engage with the OCD questions at all. However, I still am getting pretty anxious whenever I am speaking (basically tip-toeing around my words, constantly scanning and reviewing the words to make sure they didn’t sound like anything inappropriate). And if I’m not speaking, I’m thinking about how unusual this theme is and how stuck I feel, or I’m mentally reviewing past things I said to try and make sure they weren’t inappropriate. Does anybody have any sort of input on this? It’s puzzling me deeply, and it’s really inhibiting my ability to just speak. Instead of just talking, I am constantly thinking about talking, and trying to do it correctly. Thank you for reading. This disorder sucks.

So I was diagnosed with ocd last year at 28. I’m fairly sure that my dad also has ocd and maybe my sister too. I am now more comfortable with the diagnosis and I’d say most of my close friends know about it. I think I’m ready to tell some of my family members. But I’m not entirely sure how to go about this. Because I’m also pretty sure my dad and sister have it, I don’t want to come off like “I have this so you must also have this” but I can see how my dad specifically is hurting (he talks about thoughts, impossible to make a decision, certain things have to be done a certain way or else, etc) and I think therapy could be really helpful. I’ve talked with my mom about my mental health before and she’s been supportive. I think I’ll start with her first. And then maybe later I can bring up my dads mental health to her (maybe not in the same convo). I just don’t know how I could bring up my ocd diagnosis to my dad or sister specifically because I haven’t ever talk about my mental health with them Would love to hear any advice or stories of how you’ve talked to family members about this!

I work in the open heart OR and was called in for an emergency case last night. I talked to the patient, laughed with her, and held her hand while she drifted off to sleep. I couldn’t stop these horrible intrusive thoughts going through my head while she was lying on the operating table. When I came back early this morning, I walked in and she had died. While preparing her body for her family, I had these horrible intrusive thoughts thinking that this was my fault and I could have done something different. Just wanted to share this story. OCD makes you feel crazy, particularly in high pressure situations like these. Life goes on though and we can only be thankful for our precious lives.

I was curiously looking through the comment section of a YouTube video about OCD and saw something that horribly triggered my OCD and now I can't stop worrying about it.

I had been doing well for many months with SO-OCD, but then I broke up with my girlfriend and I’ve been in a really bad lapse for the past month. I’ve been doing ERP but it’s still really hard and I feel awful. The holidays make it even more stressful. I can barely leave the couch and my anxiety is high. Anyone else struggling or those who are doing well have words of encouragement?

Hey everyone, so I’ve been diagnosed with and trying to manage OCD for nearly 6 months now and I’m finding it difficult to figure out how to get around my mental compulsions and rumination. It seems harder to me to recognize a mental compulsion over a physical compulsion and to stop doing it, though I’m sure both are equally difficult. Any advice for dealing with these? I’ve been trying to practice may or may not statements but sometimes it’s hard to find the right one. Thanks for your help!

How do you guys manage your OCD when you’re triggered?

This all started a couple months ago with my. I had my first panic attack & about a month later I was in a constant panic attack with intrusive thoughts about death & how nothing mattered to me even though I have people in my life that I love & do in fact matter to me. I was so scared of death but the panic & intrusive thoughts were so bad I wanted to die at the same time. Fast forward a couple months, I have been out on sever different medications, started feeling pains & odd feelings in my body and high led to some racked up medical bills after getting X-rays, CT’s, brain mri, & even gone to the GI to see if it’s something wrong with my gut since they say your gut is your second brain, they keep saying “everything looks good” but it has caused me to not be able to work efficiently & gets in the way of normal every day things like having dinner with my wife & having to box it up & leave the moment the food hits the table. I’m constantly in a state of “do I need to go to the er or is this just panic” everyone says it’s just panic but it feels so much more serious & I cannot shake it. Yesterday I was doing a task that HAD to get done & I felt like I would either vomit, pass out or start sobbing any second, it took EVERYTHING in me not to & when the task was done I released the tears. I constantly will just randomly start sobbing… so many things going on with me & I can’t seem to find myself anymore. Idk how to go about this.

I went through Reddit today and found some server that is supposedly „against p3dos“ (fun fact: they are NOT“ and bc both me and another person got mad at how people were being protected by the mods for literally saying that AI CP could be a „good and legal thing“ me and this dude started messaging abt how much we hate p3dos. But my brain keeps telling me „you’re one too bro stop lying you’re just like them.“ and it makes me feel so ashamed

Does anybody have any tips on how to manage deserved guilt and OCD at the same time? I actually carried out some awful actions in my relationship 3 1/2-4 years ago and absolutely deserve to feel guilt and shame. But now my gf says it’s time for me to move on, I’ve punished myself enough, that I deserve to be happy, etc. I disagree and feel like I deserve everything I’m feeling, and will forever. Opinions on the internet have solidified this for me (most people’s opinion about my event online seems to be that I deserve to think about what I did for the rest of my life, that I don’t deserve love, that my gf should leave me, etc.). I’m scared to go against those opinions. Sorry for rambling, I’m just so stuck between trying to move on for my girlfriends sake and rehashing the past every day to try and understand/fix my faults. Any advice would be appreciated.

me, work friend, and attractive coworker were sitting in lunch room on our break. my friend poked me in the side and i jumped because it tickled. attractive coworker was amused by this so he did it to me a couple times. when he did it to me, i secretly got aroused. i ended up poking him back. i didnt get aroused by doing it to him but i feel i shouldnt have done that at all. he did it to me a few times more over the next couple months. i did it too, i didn't think too much of it because it was something playful everyone did to everyone any ways even amongst same sex. but i shouldn't have done it at all because of the mild thrill i sometimes got when he did it to me HELP I think ive cheated and need to confess to bf. it was just pokes in the side and i do it to friends any way but in retrospect i shouldnt have done it to him.

What are your tips or what's the advice you'd give to someone starting their journey towards healing from ocd?

I wanted to figure out a way to explain how I feel in the easiest way possible. I thought maybe I could divide how OCD makes me feel into colors to help others understand. If you can relate let me know :) or drop in the comments what code you are experiencing right now. You are not alone and you deserve to be loved 💚 🟢Code green- no anxiety, feeling like I am alive. Feeling happy. Feeling like my true self. Thoughts are rare. Anxiety is rare. Feeling loving and loved. Laughing, being productive. Spending time with friends and family. Making memories. Watching any movie. Listening to any song. Going to any place. 🔵Code blue- feeling less anxious. Able to function and be around triggers. Able to continuously believe I am someone with ocd and anxiety and life will still go on. Knowing and fully believing I deserve to be happy. Laughing, smiling, being myself. 🟡Code yellow- anxious but functioning. Getting through the day with triggers. Having moments of panic but still getting through it. Thoughts still there causing anxiety. Some moments of intense fear but not enough to stop function. 🟠Code orange- struggling to function. Panicking but still have moments of relief. Not wanting to be around triggers. Understand everything will be okay but not feeling that way. 🔴Code red- drop everything, all energy goes into not spiraling. Putting all efforts in so I don’t fall apart. Extremely painful, feeling sick. Crying. Having panic attacks. Feeling like I don’t want to live. Can not function. ⚫️Code black- emptiness. No feelings but fear. Feeling like life is not worth anything. Looking in the mirror and not seeing a human. Not being able to feel emotions. No laughter. Crying. Pure loneliness. Feeling like the world has ended. Nothing exists. If you have read this far thank you :) i want to say that since therapy and understanding OCD I rarely ever fall to code black anymore. I know that OCD is tricky and will try to tear me down but I will not allow it. Stay strong friend. If OCD is tearing you down right now, SCREAM AT IT! Do not allow it to ruin your day. You deserve to be with family and friends. You deserve to have fun and create memories. You will feel happy and safe again. Dark feelings are not for forever.

So a couple weeks ago I was sleeping and laying by mom and she accidentally touched/squeezed my boob twice like at two different times or twice in a row and I talked to her about it and I moved past it like never thought about it again and then the other night I was laying by my mom again and she squeezed or touched my boob and I’ve been obsessing over it ever since and I even talked to her about it and she said it was an accident and she would never hurt me. But I’m upset because I feel and and think “she touched you on purpose” or “shes bad” “she sexually assaulted you” and I don’t wanna feel this way about her but for the last few days I’ve been obsessing and researching because i don’t know what to call this and I have severe ocd as it is. I mean I can convince myself of anything literally. I thought I liked my mom in a sexual way before like I had a crush on her. Anyways it’s really distressing and yesterday I was crying about it while hugging my mom’s sweatshirt because I love her so much. It feels like there’s a voice in my head telling me that my mom is dangerous and that she touched me on purpose. I don’t want to feel scared of her or uncomfortable around her, it makes me upset. I would not be here if it wasn’t for my mom. She has never done anything to hurt me and she’s a teacher. I love her so much and I just don’t understand why I can’t believe her when she said it was an accident when touching or squeezing my boob. I’ve always been comfortable changing around my mom or if I think there’s something wrong with my private areas like my vagina I’ll show her because I worry a lot and need someone to tell me it’s ok. Also this is really tmi but when I was younger I had some issues with my vagina like yeast infections and my brain is telling me I was 10-13 during this time because I knew I was older but I’m not sure what age, anyway my mom would Check my priv area and apply cream for me or use q-tips to get like white stuff out of my vagina. IM SORRY THIS IS TMI BUT I FELT I NEED TO SHARE TO EXPLAIN IM SORRY. Anyways I have never ever thought twice about this stuff but now my brain feels like it’s pulling out past memories as evidence to say my mom is bad and dangerous and that she’s sexually abusive. I even talked to my mom and she said she did that stuff to take care of me and my body especially my vagina. Why can’t I believe her? Again I never thought of this memory until now. I have never thought my mom is dangerous, I’ve always been comfortable around her and I’m 19 so why is this happening now? I’m just upset because I love her so much and would not be here if it wasn’t for her she’s my bestfriend. I just can’t get rid of these thoughts and feelings that she’s dangerous and bad and sexually abusive. I love her so much and she even told me she would never hurt me and her touching and squeezing my boob was an accident. Why am I not believing her or why am I feeling and thinking this way?!😫🥺😢😭

Has anyone been prescribed medical marijuana to help with their ocd?

Hey everyone. Just struggling and reaching out for help again. I appreciate anyone who can reply.

it just feels true right now but I just feel numb and like I don't even care to do compulsions. My boyfriend also isn't treating me well right now which makes stuff worse wahhh