Welcome to
the NOCD Community

How is the holiday season going so far? What are you expecting this next month? We are planning lots of content so we want to know how to best support you! 🤍

This is simply advice that helped me and in no way am I qualified to tell you what to do but only to relay my experience. Please speak with your therapist first and foremost. - ERP: You need it and it feels so amazing when you have someone help you along the way -whatever your brain is telling you that you do not deserve to do (exercising, eating (in general or healthily), skincare, dressing nicely, your favorite hobby, etc.) JUST DO IT! will you be riddle with guilt? yes. will it feel sooo wrong? yes. Will you feel anxious? yes. Please just take care of yourself and think of it as an exposure because I think it is! Refuse the conditions of OCD. If that doesn't convince you, do it for the younger you, the five year old you who dreamt of so much. Do that hobby and activity they would love for you to do - Listen to music and consume content with meaningful and uplifting messages. This is for everyone and especially those of you compulsively researching OCD and whatnot and watching videos and all that stuff. Don't get me wrong OCD knowledge saves lives, but when it becomes all consuming its doing more harm then help. Try to take in content (non-compulsively) that is uplifting and positive. Not to necessarily make you positive but to give your brain happy content- feed your brain the stuff you want more of. This is kind of silly but I love listening to the Spirit movie songs by Bryan Adams- they're kind of badass. -Think about and visualize a future that is full of hope. Ok hear me out. Whenever I would think of the future it would be dark and scary which is terrifying but normal with OCD and especially with depression. As I get better whenever I think about a future but on my terms and with everything working out great, I would feel great and then awful thoughts would flood my brain. This scared me and it still does but I realize that avoiding thinking about a positive future was a compulsion for me (you might not relate to this because its kind of niche and that's ok) -Stop monitoring how you feel. I deal with this more as I lean into recovery. I notice OCD sneaking in as scary feelings. Feel them but ignore diving deeper. Remember your brain has been fixated on a scary outcome for a long time so of course we will get the thoughts and feelings and all that stuff (Don't think about a pink elephant!). Your brain lies whether that is a thought, image, urge or feeling. It will do anything to 'protect' you aka, make you do what you are convinced will make you feel safe which are your compulsions. Resist it all-continue doing what you normally do even if you feel like the most disgusting and horrible person. Like Dory says "just keep going" -Stop monitoring how recovered you feel and stop trying to feel 'perfect' or 'just right'. Just live and go through your day doing what you value no matter what you feel. This is SO hard, it's so much easier said than done but you can't get better if you are obsessed with getting better. Look out for this OCD sneakiness and mention it to your therapist. -Gratitude. Be grateful for whatever good you do have no matter how deserving or undeserving you feel. Be grateful that OCD resources and help is becoming so robust in our time. Be grateful if you have people who support you. Be grateful for your therapist. Be grateful for every single good thing. Even be grateful for your brain! I know, I know, but think about how it's just an organ and it thinks its doing its best to protect you even if it is being supeeeeerrr not helpful. -Focus and help others. This can be hard especially with themes like Harm OCD and POCD but I know how it feels. Focus on how much your sibling would appreciate you helping them with their homework instead of focusing on how terrifying it would be for you with the onslaught on negative thoughts. Think about how much your dog would love to go on a walk and explore the world and not on how awful you will feel doing it. I did it and I know you can. -Stop waiting to love and respect yourself before you do things that will help you love and respect yourself. Stop waiting until you feel better to do what you love. You build self love, trust, and respect by continuously and purposefully doing what you love and what you value. -Stop the internal whine. Ok, listen I am not trying to invalidate how absolutely debilitating this disorder is, but I realized for myself that the internal whining I had about this was keeping me stuck. "why me!" "I love my family, I love children, I love animals, etc., why did I have to have this obsession?" guess what it would stick if it didn't matter. How do you make someone do what you want? By threatening what you love most. It sucks but thank goodness you are tough. You are strong and absolutely capable of handling this disorder. But you won't know this until you try and until you do what it takes. -Accept it all. The thoughts, images, and every part of this confusing and even traumatic experience. Accept that you have OCD and that comes with constant doubting and upsetting thoughts. Accept and find some self compassion for your torment. Accept even when you think you possibly can not. Acceptance helps you detach from the thoughts and creates space for it to be there with out determining who you are and what you should do. This are just some things that continue to help me through OCD recovery. Feel free to ask question below but not reassurance because I will not give it. I love you all so very much (yes even you who thinks they are the exception and thinks that if I knew what they thought it would not apply to them, especially you!!!)

i don’t know what to do anymore i have to wash my hands 30+ times a day and i have panic attacks if i accidentally touch my face during school bc my hands are dirty and i have to pull out a napkin and wet it with my water bottle in the middle of class it’s so embarrassing and my hands hurt so bad they’re so dry and red and im trying to get myself to limit my hand washing to once when i get home and once before i wash my face at night but it’s so hard cause literally while i wash my hands my brain will be like “it’s just three more washes would you rather do that or face the consequences” and it’s so loud in my head that i can’t do anything but listen i hate my ocd so much

I started therapy a couple weeks ago for relationship ocd. I thought I was doing so good and my therapist is awesome. Yesterday I had the worst triggers, ruminations, and compulsions I’ve ever had. It feels like the ocd has attacked me with everything it has. I guess I’ve pretty much destroyed my relationship with my wife over yesterday and today. I’ve tried to talk to myself, sit with it, etc. I’m feeling like I have no chance of getting better. My mind goes to worse case scenario and the compulsions consume me.

Do any of you guys with OCD also suffer from social anxiety disorder? I thought I overcame my social anxiety but ever since my harm OCD spiked 5 months ago my social anxiety reared its ugly head once again. Now it's worse than ever! Yesterday I went to a concert and I had a great time but later on it got ruined. I went with a friend and when we were leaving the venue I was trying to take a selfie in front of the stage but then a stranger offered to take a full body picture of me (my friend was outside already) and I agreed but I was extremely nervous while posing for the picture, it makes me so uncomfortable when a stranger is photographing me, but I didn't know what to say when he asked me, I didn't want to be rude, so I agreed nonetheless, and huge mistake. I was acting so weird and awkwardly there were also still a bunch of people standing there behind us and I felt like they were watching and judging me. I tried to smile for the camera but my lips trembled and my body was stiff, I didn't know how to pose. When he finished taking the pics and handed me my phone back I saw the gallery and he took like 10 pics and none of them looked right, they were blurry and I looked so fake and ugly in those pictures, my eyes looked big and scary, my head was even turned to the other side in some of them and you could only see my frizzy hair and awkward body pose. It was so bad I cringed when I saw the photos, I deleted them all immediately, said an akward thank you so much and left the building in a frenzy. That little incident ruined my whole night. It's been 2 days and I cannot stop thinking about it, I cringe everytime I remember that and how I was acting so strange and what this guy must have thought about me, because at the end he seemed freaked out and distant. I've had suicidal thoughts ever since because I was so embarassed I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Since I have OCD I know I will be replayig this event non stop for days, weeks or even months and I can't stop crying ever since. How do I get over this? 😭

Hey everyone I’ve really been struggling the past month since moving states for a new job. I’ve been feeling more paranoid and more anxious which is leading me to think I may be developing schizophrenia. My psychiatrist has told me that I don’t have it but I really feel like she is missing something or I’m not explaining what I’m feeling enough. Some things I’m experiencing- Brain fog Irritability Isolating/no interest in socializing (this is not normal for me) Harm intrusive thoughts Feeling like I’m going crazy Trouble comprehending things Depression Just feeling totally unlike my normal self I just keep getting worried something is terribly wrong with me and I need to catch it before it gets worse. I can’t seem to put my mind at ease because it’s thinking the symptoms I have are not “normal” and it’s looking for an answer on why I feel this way. Any advice would be great!

I got labs done, and everything looked good. Even the doctor said it looked generally unremarkable. But something was slightly elevated , and I'm freaking out about the risk of the big C. I need to be told I am over reacting or something

I’m 29 which I know isn’t always considered old but something I have been really struggling with is this feeling of relief of getting diagnosed and at the same time frustration of how it was undiagnosed for so long. And how glaring obvious it was. Or in my case written off as GAD. When deep down I knew it was something more. It felt like I did a lot of advocating for my symptoms but was never validated. I did talk therapy implemented all the skills but felt like a failure because my obsessions weren’t subsiding. Finding NOCD has been beyond validating. To have this online community of wonderful people who truly get it. And to be educated that obsessions that I thought were rare and oddly specific were common in OCD. As well as the other things I have ruminated on now I know also being OCD. I guess what I’m trying to put out there is if anyone has experienced or has advice on moving through frustrations and into just pushing through.

Has anyone made it through this and actually reclaimed the peace they had before going through this? The way I say the world has just completely changed and I don’t know how to find the willpower to keep going unless there is hope of getting that back. I will continue to keep trying anyway, but please tell me it gets easier.

7 years ago I was a raging drug addict. I took any and all kinds of drugs without second thought of consequences. When I had my first child it’s like a switch flipped in my brain. Within her first 6 months of life I had over 12 visits to the ER. I was (still am) constantly afraid of developing a life threatening disease / illness or having a sudden health event (stroke / heart attack / heart failure / brain tumor / cancer ) develop. I’ve seen over 10 Specialist from autoimmune, heart, eyes, neurology , stomach , skin, etc. I’ve got a seemingly well bill of health but I become so hyper aware of every small change within my body. It’s. Constant state of fear and anxiety. Headache = likely tumor / aneurysm , small pain in chest or arm = heart problems , mild cold = covid or some rare disease , etc. Lately, my heart has been my fixation. I was having tachycardia going to the ER 2x a week. EKGs normal, 24hr monitor normal, X-RAY normal. Shortly after I notice my resting heart rate went down as low as 50bpm. I looked through my history over the months and that seems pretty normal for me I just hadn’t noticed before. Now I’ve been worried about my heart for weeks even tho my dr says I’m okay. It’s exhausting to be afraid of sickness and death 24/7. When I get focused on these thoughts it pulls me away from my kids and husband and daily tasks. I either full blown panic or shut down in fear. Anyone else relate? What helps you? I don’t want to rely on medications as I have so many adverse reactions to the 10+ I’ve tried! - oh year here’s another one - I’m afraid of allergic reactions as well I CONSTANTLY fear I will have an allergic reaction to medications / foods or over dose on things like Tylenol and Ibuprofen or mix meds and have reactions.

i recently got a new job and i am so happy with it! after my first day i got this horrible wave of anxiety and panic. i don’t know why this happened. i haven’t had this much anxiety in a very very long time. can a change in your routine trigger your anxiety?

Out of nowhere 2 weeks ago I started feeling like I was tripping on drugs. (I haven't touched a drug since 2012 because of a horrible trip I experienced..) 2 weeks ago I was at Walmart and I felt like I was dying. I felt double. I felt like I was out of body almost. (This is exactly what I felt when I smoked k2 in 2012..) Panic attack came. Since then I haven't felt the same. I can't stop thinking about it and feeling this way. All I feel is despair. I can't shake it. Is this OCD?? I struggled with harm OCD before this happened. But honestly this is worse.

My parents are yelling at me for not taking care of my rabbits but I told them I can’t anymore and I don’t know how to tell them that, I can’t even take care of myself. You know how hard it is for me to keep myself alive rn?! I don’t want to say that or I will be judged for life on it but at the same time I love my rabbits. I just don’t know how to keep living like this. I can’t take care of myself so how am I supposed to take care of two more alive beings? I know some people are probably judging me rn but idk how else to explain this. (They are not being abused I have been taking care of them) (I just don’t think I can anymore and I wish my parents could take care of them for a little while I heal but they just don’t understand any of this.) My parents are older so when they were younger they didn’t have many mental problems. (Not saying all older people didn’t but my parents didn’t) can someone please give me advice.

Dear community, It has been quite a while since I last interacted on this platform. I have faced numerous challenges and have felt a deep sense of shame in returning here after leaving comments unanswered. I have experienced a difficult period in my life. First and foremost, I would like to apologize to the individuals who kindly responded to my previous post approximately ten weeks ago. I have contemplated returning to this community to rediscover the wonderful sense of connection I had with so many kindhearted individuals here. However, I have been feeling extremely low, finding it arduous to even get out of bed and engage in daily activities. The trigger for my distress was the loss of my beloved dog, who had been my closest companion for many years. Unfortunately, he passed away due to cancer before I could reunite with him. The geographical distance between my family in Mexico, where I originally come from, and my current residence in Sweden has made it particularly difficult. I feel immense sadness for not being able to be there for him, considering how he had been there for me throughout the years. Additionally, my relationship with my husband has deteriorated significantly. We have been caught in a cycle of daily arguments, leaving me feeling frustrated and trapped in this never-ending struggle. I have withdrawn from activities I used to enjoy, spending countless weeks confined to my home, plagued by irrational obsessions and compulsions. I neglected opportunities to go out during the summer, and now I deeply regret it. I allowed the days and months to pass by without taking the necessary steps, such as enrolling my toddler in daycare, where she could interact with other children. Consequently, she only knows her father, me, and my family through video calls. Sadly , she has not fallen ill with any flu or stomach bugs so far (something that she really needs to have a normal immune system) However, I blame myself for being overly protective. Two weeks ago, we ventured out to downtown, entering a mall without face masks. Things were going well until I noticed a child coughing excessively. I immediately urged my husband to change our path to avoid contact, but as fate would have it, the child ended up standing right in front of my baby girl and coughed directly in her face. I felt a surge of frustration, panic, and fear that she might become seriously ill. The incident consumed my thoughts over the entire weekend, but fortunately, nothing came of it. Nonetheless, the experience left a lasting impact on me. Just this past Thursday, I managed to summon the courage to go out despite the freezing temperatures of -22°C. My daughter and I went to the church to meet with the childcare provider to discuss potential activities involving other children. I hoped this would provide my baby girl with opportunities to play and interact, as well as expose her to common childhood illnesses, which are considered normal, natural, and necessary for her development. However, the following day, I was too exhausted from our visit to the church to attend the planned event. Walking in the snow and cold with my toddler, despite being fully dressed and prepared, proved to be a tremendous challenge. I had to carry her intermittently, and what should have been a 1.5-kilometer walk felt like 10 kilometers. As a result, we remained indoors for the entire weekend. I am overwhelmed by sadness as our tickets to Mexico, booked since July, are scheduled for December 11th. However, I have yet to make a decision. I have been plagued by fear, constantly asking myself, "What if my child becomes seriously ill and dies?" or "What if the plane crashes and we all perish?" At this point, it feels too late to embark on the journey, as we are unprepared. My daughter has spent most of the year indoors, with only occasional outings, sometimes with intervals of 15 days or more between them. I fear that her immune system will be overwhelmed by the multitude of people at airports and on planes. The fact that many individuals are inconsiderate when it comes to personal hygiene, frequently sneezing and coughing without taking precautions, terrifies me. Furthermore, my daughter has never flown before, and at 2.7 years old, it is a source of anxiety for me. I shared my concerns with a cousin who is a medical doctor specializing in internal medicine. He believes that the best course of action would have been to gradually expose my daughter to germs and diseases in our current environment before progressively increasing her exposure. Unfortunately, time is not on our side. Despite my strong desire to see my family again and spend Christmas with them, deep down, I seem to have sabotaged this trip. It appears that I have wasted the entire year making excuses, succumbing to laziness, excessive hand washing, overthinking, and constantly feeling worried and sad. It seems as though I am subconsciously resistant to the idea of going, self-sabotaging the opportunity. I wish someone could reassure me by saying, "You should go; everything will be okay. Your daughter will be safe, and she will be fine." I have prayed to God asking for clarity on my mind and to have the conviction to make decisions. I still have some hope that I could make a final decision before this week ends.

All I want to do is stay in bed. Lock myself up. Read. Watch TV. And that’s it. I have major depressive disorder along with OCD and PTSD so I guess this is the depression part of my world. It sucks because on days the OCD isn’t too terrible, the depression or trauma is. I feel like I never get a break. I need a vacation from my disorders! Just feeling a little down tonight - anyone feel like chatting?

I've been with my bf for almost 2 years now. He has all the qualities I've waited and prayed for. But I've had anxiety from the start of my relationship. I worried early on that I wouldn't have feelings of love. Once I did, I told him. Ever since then, though, my feelings have come and gone, along with my physical attraction for him that fluctuates based on how his hair and beard look, and what he wears. I'm hyper focused on those things. I'm freaking out because we have talked about marriage and I know he plans to propose at some point soon and I can't make a decision because my anxiety is out of control, causing my better judgement to be clouded. I'm 38 and don't want life to pass me by because of anxiety making decisions like thus hard to make. I feel like something is wrong with the relationship, when in reality, I have an amazing man who treats me the way I deserve. This is a compulsion writing this but I feel helpless.

Anyone who is a female and not straight could you comment down below. I have questions. I’m straight though so don’t be alarmed by this. Just struggled with soocd

As a person I have witnessed and been through ALOT when it comes to relationships and dating. I recently just entered a new relationship with somebody and it’s wonderful . But that’s the problem. It’s wonderful. I have been through so many ups and downs with people and family and boys that everything to me feels like a dramatic movie. And I meet this one person in my life who I feel like I can connect with, and I’m terrified. I don’t know how to get the feeling to go away. The fear of is he like everybody else. An example would be three nights ago. I went out with my friends and I was so scared that he was going to be upset with me that I shared my location with him and texted him every five minutes I was out. But he wasn’t upset. I’m scared I’m putting too much on him because I feel like these are my trauma responses. I’m not really for sure why am on this app I just don’t want to control and handle my emotions alone. I need an outside unbiased opinion. In my being too much am I being too scared how do I get these feelings out of my head? how do I get these thoughts out of my head? I need advice and I need assistance.

I understand experiencing the intrusive thought and not performing the compulsion. That makes sense to me. For example, I walk by the stove and have the thought "Have I left the stove on?", and my compulsion is to check, I get letting that thought be there and not checking, moving on with my life. What I don't understand is turning the intrusive thoughts into REALITY. So for an exposure, now I need to leave the stove on overnight. Or, if i have the thought "What if I've left my door unlocked?" Now I need to leave my door unlocked. Or, "Have I left my windows down in the rain?" Now, I need to leave my windows down in the rain. Or, "Have I left soap lathered on me?" Now I need to leave soap places, smear soap on my TV, etc. I don't understand why we turn our intrusive thoughts into reality. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, and honestly, if I started turning them into reality for an exposure, I'd be living my life backwards, which isn't the goal for me.

Hi I'm a kid using this app and I feel very anxious:,3 Can ocd make you feel like you are poly like you were born to be one (｡ŏ﹏ŏ) I don't want to have any interest in poly and I know I don't wanna be in one. I'm happy being monogamous with my boyfriend but now it keeps denying me. I literally have problems being friends with boys why would I want a boy in my relationship :,3 I talked to my boyfriend about it and was happy that we aren't gonna be poly and it would just be the two of us. But why do I keep thinking I want to be one I don't like it I have been stressing about it. I'm uncomfortable with boys (that's not my boyfriend) being with me. I don't and never wanna flirt or be with other boys. I'm also uncomfortable my boyfriend flirting with other girls too. I don't wanna be poly and I don't know how to take these feelings away. It's hurting me and I'm scared that me and my boyfriend are going to share each other :( I'm trying so hard to prove that I'm monogamous and I'm really am committed to my bf. But it would make me have thoughts other boys or just dating other people or have "evidence" from my childhood that I'm poly. I'm so tired, I just wanna be with my boyfriend I only have eyes for him like how he only have eyes for me. I just wanna be the two of us I'm happy just being with my bf. I can't even focus on anything till I proven I don't wanna be poly.