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when i was younger i had symptoms of pshyopaths and now im scared that im one does anyone know if i had those symptoms does that mean im one im scared?

Today has been awful thoughts. It’s just getting worse and it feels like real thoughts and feelings even though I’ve been fighting it. I wish I could explain how bad it is to my parents. How do you tell anyone you’re having horrible horrible thoughts of sexually harming others and other terrible things?And there’s events from my past that make me not want to do anything because I feel like I deserve to be jailed. I’m worried I won’t be able to get a job because I can’t act like a normal person, or learn to drive. My mom said I need something to keep my occupied, find some classes to take. And she’s right but I’m worried I can’t even focus on that and again I feel like it’s a waste because I feel like I deserve to be in jail. I’m 21 I feel like such a failure. I don’t know how to get help, I really feel like I don’t want to live anymore, it feel like the only way out. But I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want my family to feel at fault. I don’t have any diagnosis so it just all feels too real. It’s CONSTANT thoughts about harming others. It feels real, it sounds proud and almost like it’s mocking in my head. I feel like I’m voluntarily thinking these things. I don’t understand why this has happened and why it’s gotten so bad. I know in my heart I have ZERO desire to be this person. I’m sorry I keep posting so much, it’s just so difficult.

I was diagnosed with OCD eleven years ago. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type as well. I was put on adderall and it seems to help with the OCD as well. However, I forgot to take it yesterday and felt like my world was falling apart. The bad ocd intrusive thoughts were rearing their head and felt like my life was falling apart. Has anyone else experienced this? Or does anyone else have these two diagnosis? How do you cope with it? I just wish someone else could understand because honestly I feel so alone sometimes. I’m married and I feel like such a failure. I cause so much stress and turmoil in my marriage. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up daily.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. This past year we were at the best place we have ever been which honestly isn’t saying too because we’ve always had a pretty healthy relationship but last year we took a lot of big steps together. Moving in together, spending more time with each other’s family, sharing milestones like graduation with each other and our families. At some point I started getting real nit picky. Analyzing everything that he did. Constantly checking if I found him attractive. Comparing him and our relationship to what people around us looked like. It started to feel like everything he did I found a flaw in and it made me feel horrible. I’m with the best guy ever and he is so dedicated and loving. I would push these thoughts away, try and pray them away and that would work for a while. Eventually it felt like I was going insane. Things that I never( in all my years of dating) cared about now seemed to be all that I could focus on. I started measuring my attraction to everyone ( people who before this I never even gave a second thought to). I just wish I knew why it’s like this now or what triggered the intrusive thoughts. It makes me wonder if I’m settling but then I don’t feel like anything about him could ever be considered settling. I’m constantly praying for a sign or divine intervention. It wasn’t until I stumbled across a TikTok post that described Relationship Anxiety that I finally felt seen, like to a T every detail described what I’ve been feeling and doing. I’m not sure how ROCD differers from Relationship Anxiety but I’m hoping that by finally sharing and not holding this all in I can start to face and conquer this.

Has anyone else had an initial struggle getting diagnosed? What themes did you have that you feel can be overlooked by psychiatrists? I’ve found that the 2 psychiatrists to whom I’ve spoken had a very limited knowledge of the range of OCD themes and compulsions. It’s been very discouraging, but my bestie who’s diagnosed has been encouraging me to seek a specialist. I’d love to hear anyone’s story! :)

The first semester of my first year at university was horrible. My ocd was the worst it has ever been. I was anxious and depressed all of the time. It was a huge adjustment for me. I feel like people talk of university as the best years of their life and the fact that I was not having a good time stressed me out. That and also the class work and finding friends etc. slowly I got back on track and I had a really good Christmas break. I really needed it and I got put on some medication. But now I am back at school. It is my first day here and I am kind of excited, it’s like I get to start over. But I am super anxious too. I don’t want my mental health to get that bad again. I am really scared. And I think I have unrealistic expectations for this semester as well. What if not reaching them causes me to hit Rick bottom again.

I’ve been struggling with mental health for a while. I’ve seen a few therapists and psychiatrists over the last three years hoping for some diagnosis to give me direction on how to improve my mental state. I’ve also tried several medications, most just making my anxiety worse. At this point I don’t even know what I’ve been diagnosed with, if anything. My last talk therapist blamed all my symptoms on PMDD and dismissed me every time I would bring up another perspective of my symptoms and thoughts that I may have something other than childhood trauma and PMDD. I continued to see her questioning myself and slowly realizing that I was becoming so focused on finding a diagnosis that I needed to just focus on feeling better and being able to function day to day. Then I realized that some of the advice she gave me was not helpful and it actually made my family situation worse. Then there were scheduling conflicts repeatedly and when I needed therapy the most I couldn’t go for one reason or another. So I got burnt out on therapy too and I’m not currently seeing anyone. During a session with my last psychiatrist a few months ago she casually asked me how my OCD was, even though we had never discussed OCD before and it had never even been mentioned. This was the first time I had ever heard anyone bring this up to me. After I did some research I do feel as if I can fit in an OCD box but when I start breaking down all of my symptoms and behaviors I fell like I can fit into a lot of different boxes. Man is it exhausting.

Hey! I would like an opinion on a question that has been bothering me for a long time. About 10 months ago, I broke up with my previous, really difficult relationship. I already suffered from rocd symptoms during that relationship, but they went untreated because we broke up. I explained the obsessions with a "bad relationship". I got over the breakup well and found myself and was happy again. I enjoyed myself and was relieved that it was all over. In the summer I met a wonderful boy who is perfect to me, but the doubts immediately came back. (even before we met for the first time). I struggled with why I felt doubts and anxiety even though I was in love and happy with my boyfriend. I suffered from the symptoms for about three months. I spoke to a therapist who brought up rocd. I can fully identify myself with the symptoms of rocd. However, before the rocd information, I had time to think of any of reasons for anxiety and doubt, and one was definitely the most difficult and heaviest. "What if the reason for my anxiety is not ROCD, and the reason is that I haven't gotten over my ex". I know that's not the case because I handled the breakup well and I was really relieved and satisfied with my life and the breakup. And I am still. And I am very happy that the past relationship ended because otherwise I would not have met my lovely current partner. However, I can't get rid of this thought because I can't be completely 100% sure. I'm looking for 100% certainty, because without it I'm really anxious and I feel that I can't be together with my lovely and perfect man. I have one question that bothers me and I can't get an answer to it. Can ROCD cause me to obsess about not getting over my ex relationship which is causing me anxiety. (I do not feel that I have not but I still doubt it). I know that I have gotten rid of the previous relationship, and I have not even think about my previous relationship few months after break up, yet I can't get rid of the thought that I am only haunted. Hox, the previous relationship was my first and I am 20 yars old now. And that this is the reason why I can't be with my partner and I don't love him. This makes me so anxious and sad because I am currently with a man with whom I really want to spend the rest of my life. I've searched the internet for answers and googled things related to this issue every day to get confirmation, but the doubts don't stop. thanks in advance

I need help. I feel out of control. My therapist has left NOCD and I stupidly told her that I didn’t need to see another therapist (I had been doing ok with the ocd and the anxiety for a while now). Literally two weeks after that, I’m full of anxiety, full of ocd thoughts, and I can’t get out of it. My brain wants an answer right now but I don’t have one. The trigger to all of this seems to be the upcoming civil marriage my sister is going through next month. I have my reservations and opinions of her decision but I ultimately cannot control her or anything she does. I’m worried about her making a terrible decision. She’s 20 with no job, she’s going to school, still lives with my parents and I (and will continue doing so even after she gets married), she’s always arguing with her partner, etc. the list can go on. I’ve tried to speak up in a respectful manner but it seems as though (obviously) nothing will change. The next thing I’ve been cooking in my brain is the idea of moving out from my parents house. For context my parents and I live in Florida, a year ago my parents bought property in Georgia? Which is beautiful and peaceful, and for the longest time I had been trying to convince myself that living there with them in the future would be a good idea (the property is big enough to build my own home). But as of recently I’ve been feeling like moving there wouldn’t be what’s best for me, especially with everything going on with my sister and seeing my parents just go with it. Besides that, I want to be able to have a balance between country and city, and over there, there’s only country. I’m worried about so much that I don’t even know where to start to help myself. My boyfriend is super supportive with pretty much anything and everything I say, but I just feel like I don’t want to continue burdening him with my problems, I want to be able to go to him and just tell him my answers and plans. I don’t like not knowing and I don’t like drastic change. Someone please help.

I went through suicidal OCD from the age of 12, I didn't understand what was happening to me, I thought it was real death wishes but I knew I wanted to live. From morning to night all I could think about was suicide, with all the possible scenarios. Hearing stories of suicide triggered me more than anything else, I looked for the things I had in common with the person (age, life, etc.), which led to compulsions (keeping knives and windows away, rituals where I had to walk straight along the lines of the floor to convince myself that I wasn't going to commit suicide, which reassured me a lot when I managed to do it). I didn't think I was going to live until I was 18. At first I didn't talk about it because I was afraid of frightening my friends and family, but it became unbearable, so I wrote a letter to my mother when I was about 13-14 saying that "I was afraid of killing myself but I didn't want to". She took me to see a psychologist, who was 'scared' of me becquse she thought I was suicidal, and referred me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist helped me, but then I relapsed. I didn't think it was possible to suffer that much ; these thoughts haunted me from morning to night, but I didn't want to, I wanted to live. My dream was just to have 'normal thoughts' (thinking about what I was going to eat in the evening, how other people would look at me, etc.). When I was 18 I decided I couldn't take it any more, so I started taking various steps, all the while thinking I was 'crazy' because I'd never heard of anyone who'd been in a similar situation, and it wasn't in the DSM, so I really thought there was something wrong with me. And no one had put any real terms on what I was going through and only said that it was a combination of things (anxiety disorders, childhood...). I'm now 22 and I can say that I've discovered what it means to have good mental health, I was absolutely convinced that it was impossible for me, that I was "doomed to kill myself". I'm waaaay better now, even though thoughts can sometimes come back, but I don't fight them any more and I let them come for as long as they want, even if it's very difficult, without taking them seriously. I'm happy to be able to live, and I'd especially like to say with this testimony that it's 100% possible to get through it, even if you're convinced that it's not. Talk about it, get support from professionals. 🌻✨ While doing some research recently in English, I came across the term Suicidal OCD, which immediately seemed to fit my story. I used to do my research in my native language (French), but there were no results talking about suicidal OCD. I guess it’s not studied that much in France and other French-speaking countries. 🤷‍♀️

So I turned 32 not too late ng ago and I feel like it is more of a shock to me than I think I would care and having anxiety I started thinking some dumb thoughts. I haven't dated in about 9 years and coupled with taking stock of my age and the fact I have had pocd themes I had a dumb thought saying "what if I meet women my age and aren't into them and my intrusive thoughts are proof that I'm not?" This thought bothered me since why would I worry about that. So I tried to envision myself with a woman around my age or at least a couple years younger and us having a date and then me reacting negatively to it I also thinking that when I was with her I would think I can't believe I'm with someone that's old or someone that not too long ago I would perceive to be much older than myself. Then that made me even more scared cuz then I thought do I actually have a grass that I'm as old as I am or do I have like the mentality of someone who's younger and can't grow up correctly or something. like I try to think back to when I was in college and I had friends who were in their early thirties and I always looked at them like sort of an older more experienced person who I sort of looked up to now I'm in that age group and I guess the fear literally does come from based on everything that I thought and the things that I've gone through will I treat dating like I've always treated it or would I look at someone to be like Man I'm looking at someone that 9 years ago I would have thought looked like a mother or something and now I'm that age. That worries me because I think a regular person wouldn't have to even think of something like that.

Hi…okay so I don’t know if anyone would understand what I want to say but I hope anyone who sees this understands….so I’m suffering from rocd and when it all started I prayed , begged ,cried infront of god to just give me one more chance to make things right with my partner, I don’t want to lose him i don’t know why I’m feeling like this I just want to feel love for him please give me another chance please give me a new heart with love filled for my partner. I was miserable I was scared I was crying 24/7 day and night feeling terrified and asking god to please make me “feel” for my partner im sorry if I made any mistake . My partner and I are in long distance he’s working hard to build a life he wants so me I just wanted to pray for him with my WHOLE HEART! To please help him help him in managing his struggles and all but I don’t know I was just not feeling that I’m praying with my whole heart when I was trying my all to just pray for him with pure intentions and a pure heart. ( I got emotional while typing all this). I don’t know why but the thought - maybe I’m not right for him that’s why god isn’t helping him or answering my prayers. And now the situation is that I actually feel very difficult to pray to god for him I m just not able to talk to god words are so damn difficult to come out I think what if god thinks I’m not praying with my whole heart. ( believe me I really want to) does god thinks that my feelings now because of rocd (not feeling 100% in love ) is the reason why he’s not answering my prayers or because I don’t feel 100% in love with him I’m not able to make prayers( like something is stopping me really hard to go infront of god and talk to him) I’m not able to go even in the room which is dedicated to god in my home. What is all this? Can somebody help me in anyway. I’ll be really thankful.

It’s my senior year of high school but i have not been to school since November due to an intense OCD episode that was completely debilitating. I was misdiagnosed with GAD twice and just three days ago properly diagnosed with OCD, i start treatment in two weeks. I have been taking sertraline which has worked wonders for my anxiety but i am still having intrusive thoughts, depression, among other OCD symptoms. I don’t know what to do, i have discussed with my mom potentially dropping out and focusing on treatment, but idk if thats a good idea im just scared to embarrass myself at school or have people judge me for things i cant control because of OCD. Im also scared to be around people younger than me idk what to do im so conflicted, any advice?

I can't help but to get really anxious and panic when I'm watching a movie and I see a male that has good looking features. Because it makes me think that if I'm noticing that they are a good looking person. then I have to question my sexuality. Especially when I'm sitting with my girlfriend. I get super nervous because my body reacts with a chill that runs down my skull and hits me in the gut. Then I feel super embarrassed when this happens. I know that I'm not attracted to men because I don't think about them sexually or want anything to do with them in that way. I've had other instances where this have happened in public at my old jobs that I had to leave because ppl think that I must be gay. I'm the straightest gay guy I know I guess. Lol but I was literally tormented and made fun of at those jobs. But it actually gave me a stronger mindset. I also have lots of trigger words that will make me act strange. I just want to live life ! It's been exhausting. I also cannot stop creating the ideas that I'm being cheated on in every relationships and my past relationships suffered and I don't want it to keep happening.

y’all i need a little pep talk. im going back to school tomorrow and im worried about if im gonna start having harm thoughts about people at school and then of course tack on the worry of it affecting my grades. or the even bigger worry of having a thought and liking it

Good evening everyone! Long story short- I had Health OCD 12 years ago but was never diagnosed. No idea how that’s even possible, I had every sign and saw 2 licensed psychiatrists but they labeled me with GAD. Knowing what I know today, it was 100% Health OCD. I fought it for 3 years until one day I literally surrendered. No training and no NOCD…but I remember breaking down sobbing and accepting that my fate might be terminal. Obviously I’m still here and my fate wasn’t terminal and over time it went into remission. For 12 years! Gone! Amazing! Looking back, I still had minor signs but my maintenance dose of Cymbalta kept me straight and steady. Until I decided that I didn’t need Cymbalta anymore and I got off it cold turkey last January. Well, it came back with vengeance and brought a new theme. I finally got a proper diagnosis and found NOCD. It’s helped me but I’m still fighting - after two major relapses. I’m doing all my techniques but the voice is still loud in the mornings. The ruminating is still there. It definitely ebbs and flows and I’m questioning my meds again- Cymbalta seemed to help the last time… Anyway, I got to thinking about how I managed to heal the first time and how I just gave up, literally. I am wondering if that’s what it takes? My new theme has me fearing a local stalker- that he will come after me. I know…it’s not about the theme. But, as much as I want to surrender and get better…my fight or flight is trying to keep me safe from this evil convicted felon. Those of you who have succeeded, did you finally have to give up too? Or can you use the ERP and meds to eventually quiet it? Thank you and much love.

I was at church tonight sharing my testimony & how God has worked in my life, especially in regards to OCD, & someone came up to me after church and said that she believed mental health but she thought this was Satan attacking me (could be right) & that I shouldn’t use labels like OCD & make it my identity—that I shouldn’t claim that over myself. I hear this a lot and try to let it go but it hurts every time. I went home and cried. (Still crying.) Scrupulosity is already such an isolating illness and it sucks to be misunderstood. I feel like OCD is not taken seriously at all (she compared it to ADHD). I try to just accept that not everyone will understand & well intentioned people are going to say things because they don’t understand, but sometimes it gets to me. Tonight just really hurt. Just looking for encouragement from anyone else with scrupulosity who has experienced this. I feel so alone.

plz help me i’ve continued thoughts of self harming and have panic attacks also i can’t get rid of it my mind can’t stop thinking

Hi, does anyone have any tips or advice over how to not allow the intrusive images or themes consume to the point of freezing up in petrified fear. I feel that I ruminate over my OCD theme to the point where I’m super anxious or I’m depressed and find no point in my day to day activities because I feel that I need to think over my theme. But I go no where with it than into a freak out mode. Any help or advice is welcomed. Thank you.

Your obsessions can tell you something about yourself - but it's not what you think! Because our obsessions often attach to our values, they tend to indicate things that are very important to us. It's important to note that while the content of your thoughts does not dictate your treatment or recovery, it may often follow the things you love the most. This makes the thoughts even more emotionally charged, making them easier to get stuck on. Remembering the things that actually bring you closer to your values is key.