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is the worst and it’s so scary

I have ROCD (undiagnosed) but I’ve been told my themes and compulsions match it. I’ve started reminiscing about an ex, who was very toxic to me and I was young and thought I was in love. At one point I thought “oh I miss when we did that and I miss them a little bit” and my mind and anxiety is spiraling. I love my husband and we’ve been married for 2 years and together a total of 6 years. I’m anxious that me having the the thoughts of missing my ex is gonna eventually lead me to wanting to leave my husband or be anxious forever

Hi everyone. It is my first post. I have a diagnoses of anxiety but my therapist kinda groups anxiety and ocd so it has not been a formal diagnoses made but we discuss how i have those tendencies she just doesnt think its necessary to add to my chart. Anyways. A bit about me. Got into my first relationship in 2019. was in it for three years. he was a porn addict that made so many of my rocd fears of cheating, being lied to and all of it come true. I left this relationship in april. Fast forward to now I am with someone new. He is wonderful and helping me heal. But old habits and triggers and thoughts arise. Mine is partner focused. I have a fear of white lies, getting different answers by phrasing questions differently, fear of physical abuse, cheating, social media, gaslighting etc. Most of these fears stem from my last relationship. I dont want to be an unhealthy partner. I never accuse him of anything. I just struggle with the asking questions part. And triggers and not being able to pull myself out without the relief of his words. We have a healthy dynamic and he is good for me. I realize I maybe should have stayed longer but the only way out is through. ROCD will not stop me from being in this new relationship. ROCD, extensive trauma. Its a lot. But I am here and trying. I am considering getting a therapist who specializes in OCD. See what can come of it. Id also like to share. I feel defeated at times, becasue in y last relationship I overcame the ROCD. I did the work. Then he came into the room I was in the day I really felt like I had a handle on it, and revealed he did horrible things to me without my permission and had an addiction. I want to get back there. I dont want to think all men are monsters. I want to be a good partner. I want to trust myself, I want to heal. If youve made it this far, thank you.

This is my first post here and I really enjoy this app, since downloading and just reading through it has helped me already. It really makes me feel like I am not alone, and I’m not a freak, and I have struggled with that specifically with OCD for a very long time. Today I had a spike in anxiety and I figured let’s try and utilize the app for its intended purpose. I’m struggling just a bit with doubting my relationship (just married in October) because of some lack of intimacy and feeling like I am not wanted all the time. Even tho we have talked it through multiple times I still find myself having the same thoughts on loop “am I still really in love with her” “did we jump too soon” “what if it isn’t right” when I know 100% that I am in love with her and I wouldn’t want anyone else my side ever and I look forward to growing old together with my best friend. My ocd has also taken a toll on us due to the fact that I go to her for reassurance with my intrusive thoughts, which is not fair to her at all. So here I am, trying this out to see if I can get some support and relief talking with people that struggle with OCD as well. Thanks for reading of you got this far ❤️

Does anyone else strugfle really bad with ZOCD? Its scary for me because as much as I have a genuine care for animals, Im scared to ever own any in the future because I dont want to hurt them or do anything wrong with them. Im scared sometimes even just seeing stray dogs (not bc im scared of them, but bc of the intrusive thoughts about them...) i dont want to live like this :(

Does anyone think there POCD is real and your just in denial, I’ve had it for so long (5yrs) that it does not feel the same way when I first got it and kinda makes me feel like it’s real and I never had POCD.

Moms who have pocd and groinals. Can anyone relate? Intimacy is a very hard thing for me because I'm always worried of intrusive and groinals. I actually was sort of contemplating with my husband later and I wanted to. Then we ate dinner and then my son sat on my lap and it's like I was waiting to feel any feeling in my body. And I kept feeling like I was feeling something. So now I feel like it will have to be another night since I don't want to do it just in case I had some sort of groinal response. I guess my question is has any other mom dealt with this exact thing and how did you escape from this? Ugh it's been years I've been tormented by this. But I can't just go do it anyways because I'm afraid the groinal could have been real and then I'm acting on it somehow. Ughhh

So I want to work in my OCD with ERP and I already have a therapist here on NOCD and stuff. The problem is, that: 1. When I want to trigger myself (in an exposure) it does nearly nothing, I don't feel it and I won't get triggered, also I have a hard time focusing on my ERP 2. When I am triggered in the wild, so by OCD in my daily life it's either so hard that I can't resist it and give in OR it's so overwhelming and chaotic that I can't see it clear and it's all messy, like I am walking in fog or try holding on to smoke I want to fix that with writing down the Situation and trigger Everytime I get triggered and then try to recreate that and trigger me, but I fear that it won't work. Plus the last days where so overwhelming. I want to focus on my ROCD right now, because that's most important to me but then I started and internship as a Smith yesterday and liked it and BOOM OCD came and lets me question my future plans. After that settles down I go to depressed desperate, where I feel unheard and hate and argue with my past therapist and friends in my mind which treated me wrong, or did something bad or whatever, I carry so much hate inside me. I litteraly can't fucking Stop imagining arguments and fights with them in my head. When I notice I am doing it and stop, I will start over again a few moments later. This is all so fucking much! PLEASE HELP ME. What can I do to still do ERP successfully while my mind is so polluted. It feels like I want to reach my car down the road. But the road is a fucking mountain range, it's foggy, with creatures keeping me from moving on and planes bombarding the area. What can I do please

Is OCD even treatable? What’s the best treatment? Can medication help? Should I try mindfulness? Questions about OCD treatment are common, and we’re breaking down the answers to some of the most popular ones in our ultimate guide to managing and treating OCD. Get the need-to-know details on: 🔬 OCD treatments backed by scientific evidence 🧘🏽‍♀ Habits that can help you manage OCD alongside evidence-based treatment 🔗 View the full guide: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/6-best-strategies-to-combat-obsessive-compulsive-disorder Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of all potential OCD treatment options, but an overview of the most effective, accessible strategies for the majority of people with OCD. What questions do you have about treating and managing OCD? 🤔

I fucking hate my OCD I love boys and I know that for a fact I want my old life back I want to get married has kids and live in normal settled life, but my OCD doesn’t want me to leave it like that it keeps on playing games with me and I don’t know what to do about it. I want to manage my OCD I wanna walk along with it I love boys and I only love boys that don’t like girls and that way but why doesn’t my obsessive compulsive disorder understand that I’m fucking tired of it. I just want to end bloody pain I love boys and I always will. it has ruined my life. I want to have my own life back. It looks like I am being two people at once and me is locked inside me. I want to have my crushes on boys I want to live a happy and settled life the urges and unwanted thoughts about my own sexuality is getting with the top and I hate that I don’t know what to do I can’t eat or do anything else my University work is pending, but I can’t get that done because of my fucking obsessive-compulsive disorder. Can you suggest any UK based face-to-face therapies that are specializing in sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder I want to continue with NOCD. They are great but they are also expensive. I am a wheelchair person and I rely on my benefits. Thank you for listening to me I’m not asking for reassurance I just like to write what I’m feeling down. It gets out of my head.

Started my therapy yesterday, and i feel that it triggered my rocd. I went to spa to relax today with my friend, and there came a man sit next to me at pool. I felt uncomfortable immediately even he had his space and i was talking to my friend. I was prosessing rocd themes with a therapist yesterday and i have a lot of sexual instrutive thoughts. Just got upset that got them again, and somehow got ”scared” of them. Now them instrutive thought got stick to my head. Just feeling tired and somehow dissapointed that i let it affect myself this badly. Don’t know why i am posting this just feeling down after all of this. 😭 wish that i could just live a normal life without these instrutive thoughts

Having ocd makes me always think the worst. I have had 2 incidents over the years that have made my life miserable. I guess they are real events. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I went about my morning tasks. When I went back upstairs to my room he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he took his underwear off. He was 2 or 3 so he could talk but not fully yet and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. Why would he say that? 😪The other was years later when my daughter was younger she used to crawl into bed with me at night alot. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy” and I was really tired so I just remember saying “sorry” and moving over and going back to sleep. I know it was probably nothing more than I just rolled over on her or something like that but my ocd keeps telling me I must have done something horrible. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something horrible. It has made my life so hard to live. Now all these years later since my memory has faded my ocd tells me maybe I was drinking and just don’t remember doing something horrible . People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do or say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes the worst possible scenario out of everything and makes me hate myself and living. 😞

I was feeling suicidal the other day because I was feeling doubtful about myself and other people. That was scary. I was actually thinking about dying even though death or ending things are scary to me

I was watching a video on tiktok where someone said palpitations after eating can be cause by pots I get this all the time after eating now I m scared I might have :/

I feel like i want to scream and run with im on the phone with someone. I even got scared of the jake from statefarm commercial, like every thing has made me paranoid and scared. Making me feel like im schizophrenic or something.

i had my therapy today i think it's going well but she's the second person to say to me i'm not showing ocd signs and think it's more the anxiety side i struggle with it makes me feel rubbish when i get told it's not ocd because when i research into ocd it's like everything adds up but because the questions you have to fill in before every session they're more like cleaning and things ha being neat etc and that's not what i deal with i deal with real event so i don't get how they can say i don't have ocd 😥

Ever since the day I sat in the car while my grandfather got taken out of his house passed away of a heart attack, and feeling helpless while the ambulance pulled away, I have showed symptoms of OCD. I am 55 years old, and didn’t delve into therapy and medication until my 40th birthday. At 16, I was in a fire and escaped through the front doors, watched the blaze take three friends who did not make it out alive. I’m done. Done with the pain of Harm OCD. I know it’s in my mind and I am not my mind. I have come far. But not far enough. Lisa

Idk if this is reassurance seeking, but i really need some comfort right now because I don’t have e anyone to talk to about this 😭 Is it possible for intrusive thoughts to tell me that evil things aren’t evil and that “everybody is just being told that it’s evil but it’s really not” ?!? And then I tell myself all the reasons why that thing is wrong and why we shouldn’t do stuff like that but it keeps coming back and it feels so real like what if i’m losing my morals and I think that sh*t is okay to do? Wtf is happening, i’m scared and I don’t want to become a bad person who doesn’t think hurting others is bad. I’m so mad at my brain I just want this to stop right now and to be sure of my morals again..

Hi guys I’m currently going through a difficult phase. I have been trying to get out of this from almost a year. But recently the thing that makes is anxious is my loved ones. Whenever I’m talking or see my girl friend or even any other girls , I feel very nervous.Can anybody please help,if anybody gone through this please give me a hand. Regards,

any tips on how to stop ruminating would be greatly appreciated !!!