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the NOCD Community

I’ve got Pure O and my compulsions are tricky to identify sometimes. But how should I feel when I’ve successfully resisted them? Trying to sit with the anxiety and the dread!

I dont know if thid is actually my ocd because my stresser was my dad being in hospital and I’ve been in therapy had EMDR sessions and I’ve been completely fine since then but now.. Anyone have flare ups after a change in your life? I’m a student nurse and I’ve just finished my first placement and I’ve never been so happy like I was on that placement and now I’m back at uni… I have constant breathlessness, what ifs and a strong need to cry and a massive feeling of panic and in my head I’m like no no no this can’t be happening. if you get me and I don’t know why it’s happening again but I want it to stop I was doing so fucking well I was happy. Like actually happy and now….

I’m not sure if I have it or not, or if I don’t and I’m just a bad person? I’m even embarrassed to go into details but can anyone explain what it’s like, as sometimes my thought get so bad and intrusive that I worry I’m trying to hide behind rocd as an excuse and I am just a bad girlfriend?? Can anyone relate🥲I live my partner absolutely but sometimes I worry they’re not that into it and I overthink about what it would be like to be with other people, my ocd can be so bad I’m wondering and maybe wishful thinking? That these thoughts/ obsessions could just be the ocd? Please can someone explain their experiences with it🙏🏻

For the last 13 years I've been told I have a severe panic disorder, along with every other anxiety disorder in the book, and while I definitely do, No meds have ever helped & after seeing many therapists/psychiatrists, etc, I'm finally seeing one that, withing minutes, asked me if anyone has every tried to treat my OCD first, instead of the panic & anxiety...... Up until that point, I was unaware I had OCD. After more sessions with the Dr, & my own at home research, I could cry. Every weird "quirk" I have, they way I think, what I was always told was hypochondria......it's all OCD. I'm baffled. Anyway, my doctor wants me to try a medication called Luvox (Fluvoxamine). From what I'm reading, it's a pretty common med for OCD. I'm also, however, reading that it can interact with just about everything. I'm not a huge fan of taking daily medications. But, if it could potentially make me feel better, I'll absolutely give it a shot. So my question is, if you've taken this, has it helped? Is there anything I should be aware of? Good things? Bad things? I've googled, but I'd rather hear feedback from actual people who've taken it. Sorry I'm ranting and this is so long, this is a new journey for me, and I'm a little nervous!

Does anyone else suffer from the lack of motivation to do anything but obsess, that they lack the initiative or desire to take care of themselves. Such as proper bathing, etc. I always thought OCD was cleanliness and order, but my life is chaos, anxiety and misunderstandings and conflict in my home life. They think I initiate the conflict, but I only react to how I'm being treated to due to my OCD/anxiety, but they treat me as if nothing is wrong with me and are not supportive at all. Every day is a repeat of the day before. A never ending downward spiral. I'm convinced at times, I've seriously somehow unleashed demons that are oppressing my life and my especially my mind, and it scares me to death. I feel like I'm spiraling towards an abyss and once I plummet into it, I will be lost to true insanity. I used to take such pride in taking care of myself and things. I was constantly tidying, arranging, straightening things out of order. Now it's like, I'm exhausted from being in fight or flight, but I still suffer from the crippling anxiety attacks. Highly agoraphobia, so I leave the house only for doctors appointments and the like. I have no friends. It's a very miserable life. I've lost all hope. I posted a short, yet rambling bio as my first post. Hopefully, someone can relate to it and this post! Hugs to you all, Liz

I’m currently on 50mg and I’m starting 100mg tomorrow and I was just wondering do I get any side affects when getting used to the 100mg dose like feeling dizzy how I was when I first started taking the medication? Just wants a heads up

Hi Everyone! I've had OCD starting at a very young age after my Grandmother had a massive stroke in front of me with me alone at home with her at age 6, a few weeks away from turning 7. She passed away on my 7th birthday. Soon after I struck with a mysterious illness that had the doctors baffled and they thought I may have leukemia. After a month (I really have no concept of time at that age, but my parents say I was in the hospital for a very long time. It began with major health anxiety obsessions and severe weather anxiety obsessions due to natural disaster films being shown in elementary science class. It was so bad, my parents had to request that I be removed during those films, and I was taken into a back room in the school library and made to watch The Dukes of Hazzard. Back in the early 90's, (age 9 or 10 for me) someone made the prediction that a devastating earthquake would cause so much catastrophy and d**th. I began collecting water into old soda bottles and our whole laundry room was filled with these bottles. Those type of obsessions are still prevalent, along with other ones from childhood I haven't mentioned. Today, I am obsessed with the state of our world. Obsessing over all negative things. I live near an airport so I can tell when it's a military jet flying over... by the sound and speed. I have an app on my phone that is a flight radar so when I hear that, no matter the hour, I check the app to see and when I see it was definitely a military jet, I go into major anxiety... "we are at war now..." I watch the news and check the news and other informational podcasts to try to reassure myself, but at the same time, I feel defeated. Like giving up. I've also really let my hygiene go. I feel so disgusting. It's a combo of irrational fear and just emotional and physical exhaustion and sometimes, I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up. I'm not s***idal or harming myself at all. I'm just so depressed. It's just so hard on a daily basis. I can't even leave my house anymore. I'm a recluse for the most part. I went through this in high school and had to be taken out in 11th grade. I just couldn't cope there anymore. Constant anxiety attacks. I do have intrusive thoughts all day, every day. None of the compulsive handwashing, counting... except for certain numbers have to selected for meaningless things, but very real for me. I have no support at home. My friend and boyfriend that I live with escalate matters. I don't think they truly understand my condition. Does anyone else suffer in relationships with friends, family and significant others? This is just a bit of my story. Does this kind of OCD resonate with anyone else in particular? Thank you, if you've read this far. I'm excited to be here. Respectfully, Elizabeth (Liz)

I’m really struggling these past couple days. I had a thought like “what if my anxiety turn into happiness? Or what if this isn’t anxiety what I’m feeling? Like whose to say what anxiety is? What if this feeling I’m having towards harmful intrusive thoughts is happiness, thus meaning I like the thoughts or want to act?” Idk I feel really deep in the rabbit hole. Like I’ve thought myself to no return. Constantly checking and thinking about my feelings. I’m numb. Can’t remember coping skills. I feel very confused. I’m having obvious distress and anxiety but I keep thinking what if I think that’s a good feeling or happy feeling? Because like my brain is all twisted up. Idk. It doesn’t make sense

I feel like i should tell my partner everything about me so i don’t feel like a liar or a bad person even little thing for a long time ago and sometimes it ends up in fights because it’s hard to understand and explain, i just get the feeling that im not telling them something and it makes me feel like a bad partner. Even little things like i forget to tell them a part of the story and my thoughts make me thing im keeping something from them. It makes me feel like I have to many problems and I am undeserving of their love.

Why when you check you feel as if you're attracted or aroused? Even if you don't want it or like it it feels like you do even though when you actually are attracted to a woman you want it? It feels good and you desire it. I'm not homophobic but I just don't want any of this I don't like it even if I get a response down below or find other men aesthetically handsome I don't want them sex with them would feel like just motion I wouldn't be enjoying it the way I love being intimate with my women I'm not doing bad today is one of those good days I've recently broken up with my girlfriend because I'm not myself but I realized how much I miss her and want her so we are thing to fix things but there are days I notice other food looking men even I'm public. I've never crushed on a man or noticed men this much before all this began either. I'm trying my best to not give into checking or reasurance behaviours but at times when it feels real and I get depressed and want to isolate it's difficult not to look for a way out a way to feel like myself when I'm the happiest.

I ruminate or spiral about my current job and career. Should I stay in my job? Should I leave? Do I even deserve this job? Is this job helping me grow? I constantly think about past job failings or times I felt I was treated unfairly or not respected. I always constantly question if I want to stay in this career at all. What I should study next? Will it even be worth it? Etc... Does this sound like OCD? I end up studying something new but then spiraling and rumination prevent me from putting all my eggs in one basket to follow through. The entire time I was in college...I cried everyday and questioned my career. Before I entered college I spent over 2 years obsessing over what career to choose. What is this???

Straight people don't question their sexuality, spiraling again.

Does anyone else feel that there is a lot of pressure on them that might reinforce their OCD? My family love my boyfriend, my best friend is very close to him and i’m very close to his family. When i’m in a bad spiral, which i am currently, I stress over the fact that I might be in my relationship because there’s so much pressure to not split up and people might not like my next partner as much. We’ve been together almost 4 years and I lapse in and out of ROCD. At the moment i’m in a bad spike and this is really on my mind.

On Friday, I went to a used car lot to look at a truck. I work from home Fridays and the place wasn’t open on the weekend so I decided to go during the day because it was the only time and my lease is ending soon. Keep in mind I’ve never bought a used car so this was my first experience at a used car place. When I got there, it was just this 3-bay garage on a corner with cars on a lot. I was about to just drive off but I had driven 45 minutes and I thought I would face my fear and go in. They had the truck I wanted to see pulled out front and asked if I wanted to take a test drive. I said sure! But they needed to take a picture of my drivers license. At the time I didn’t think twice about it because I know they need to protect themselves. However, now I am so worried they have a picture of my driver’s license on their phone and are going to steal my identity and commit crimes with my information. I am so MAD at myself for even going. I have no idea what to do. I cannot stop thinking about this. I spent all weekend worried sick.

i just broke up with my bf. suffering from rocd, i always thought that i dont deserve him and i dont love him but i got to know that it was him who didnt deserve me. he flirted with another girl and called it an act, however when i talked to that girl, she said why were u even flirting if u got a girl in the first place? that time i knew he was sure cheating me. he begged me but i blocked him from everywhere and left him.

i’ve been having these really bad overthinking thoughts that maybe i’m not a lesbian and it’s all been a lie but i do love women i’ve never been attracted to a men in the way i’m attracted to a women but i keep thinking im gonna become straight and i’ve been living a lie but the thought of being with a men makes me wanna cry and throw up.

Hi guys! Can ocd-rocd make us feel annoyed at our partner? When they haven’t even done anything to be annoyed at. I’m feeling kinda anxious when I’m annoyed at him thinking if it’s true that my feelings for him is getting less or I don’t know. Is it possible I just need advise or knowledge about it so that I don’t start thinking too much about it -what does it mean? Am I really loosing feelings ? Is all this true etc? Help me please! I would be grateful.

Nothing can shake off the guilt. I don’t start therapy for a couple weeks. I’m almost non functional, what can I do

Does anyone else’s ocd tell them their kid is ugly and it feels like maybe I really think that?! Like. Ugh. I just was so in love with my other two and now I feel bipolar bc I don’t love my kids like that anymore 😭 I do my best to be the same loving mom but my mind says all kinds of negative things to me now.

I feel like I am doomed and I am so afraid of the next bad thing coming to me. I feel like I’ve been through so much trauma in life already and I don’t want more of it but I know that it will still come. That is life. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I want a break. I tried all weekend to make myself feel safe but today has sucked mentally. Now I have to jump back into the workweek tomorrow and put a smile on my face and pretend like I am “normal” when inside I am crying like a baby and scared of what bad stuff is going to come to me next.