Welcome to
the NOCD Community

This disorder sucks. I can't keep or make a friend. I never wanna go out with someone cause idk if they're contaminated with drugs or anything. People just don't wanna be my friend.

i see so many stories of mothers going through postpartum psychosis and then harming their children and it scares me so bad to the point idk if i want to have kids. what if that happens to me when/if i have children? anyone else have this fear :(

NF. I didn't even know I had ocd until an old friend of mine introduced me to NF. He has Ocd and raps/ sings about his struggles. I just want to share some of his tracks that helped me. The search Leave me alone If you want love Time Happy Hope

Hello, So I am On the waiting for list for ERP. I have looked into it , as I am nervous for It however I’ve heard that it’s quite difficult and can be mentally straining. I am quite stubborn in myself , as like I don’t want to change myself . As I am scared , worried, and I have been managing for a while now. Why do I need to change. However , I know it’s for the best. Basically I am asking. Has anyone done ERP - how did you feel. Also , how many sessions is there. As I’m worried if it s a maximum I feel like I’m being rushed.

Please help me… i get the most horrible sad feelings around my little girl… and my suicidal ocd goes crazy when im alone with her… I can’t do this… i can’t keep having horrible thoughts/feelings/urges especially suicidal ocd around my little girl!

I’ve noticed I tend to get sucked into (gradually like quicksand) ROCD thoughts, feelings and tendencies after arguments with my fiancé. Things could be great with him for weeks/months and then we might have an argument. The anxiety post argument tends to linger and I find myself beginning to spiral. Some times the spiral is worse than others and can go on for a couple weeks before I find equilibrium and peace of mind again. Can ROCD flare up after an argument(s)? Is that one of the things that triggers the ROCD? Can someone relate and share about your experience? Or confirm this happens? Thanks in advance!

I keep having images of me being gay and I really don't want to be . It has been in my head constantly for ages making me doubt myself and thinking if I come out I will be happier . This all stems from kissing a guy 16 years ago and being curious while I was drunk . I have a girlfriend that I love but this constant doubt is making feel distant from her I am now looking at random men everywhere and it's making me anxious . And when I see gay guys on tv I focus on them . I don't want to be gay . Struggling today

So just to clarify, I don't want or need reassurance. I'm just venting. Today I'm selling a car to a big dealer that's a multi million pound business and I'm going to lie to get a bit more money because I've struggled financially so bad for the last year. I know they'll end up just auctioning it off. It stresses me out due to my moral scrupolosity so this is erp for me. Lies, especially white lies caused a lot of grief for me during my life so its hard for me to justify doing it. This is more a case of needs over wants. Gahhhhh 🤯😞

I get paranoid a lot because of the feeling of being alone. I’m constantly talking to Jesus and listen to sermons and read Bible verses to help me. Due to health issues and body limitations I’m not able to clean the way I used to. Now that I have a home health aide, I’m having to adapt to someone touching my things and putting them different. I am finding myself getting annoyed with her, but I haven’t said anything. How do I deal with this?

Hello i was a porn addict for 16 years. Iam 25 abused alkohol and was sex addicted to girls never could have enough. Few months ago i was heavily drunk and without knowing ended up sleeping with a trans which i regret heavily I developed HOCD heavily which confused me and brought me to suicidal thoughts i was so confused that i actually believed that iam gonna turn trans without me wanting it then it developed to be scared that i could kill myself without wanting it. I want to just turn normal as i was can anyone help me ?

Im worried about myself, my family, my family’s friends, my friends, my dog :/ I just cannot rest I want to have some silence in my life, everything feels just so loud I can’t I just can’t I cannot tell if I’m being paranoid or I’m just idk

hii everyone, so, it has been about 2 or 3 years I’d say since I’ve been dealing with this. let’s just get right into it, so first, whatever I have (which might be OCD, I’m not entirely sure what it is) has taken over basically most of my childhood, and what kills me is that I’ll never get it back. one thing I know is that im not normal, i now get sleepless nights. why you may ask? because of my horrifying thoughts, “if you don’t look up you’ll be praying to the devil and you’ll go to hell!” “if you don’t say ‘God bless them’ their condition will happen to you!” “if you don’t say ‘good yetho 2x’ (idek..) ‘your mom will die 5x’ you’ll die and forget how to read. “if you don’t put your arms up, look directly up at the ceiling because if you look down you’ll pray to the devil so you need to look up, and say ‘Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.’ you’ll go straight to hell!” or whenever I touch a wall, i need to touch it with my small finger because if I touch it twice with my pointer finger my body will go to hell. it’s an endless cycle, and what’s even worse is that I may never be able to get help. I’ll never get that life back that I wanna live, and it kills me. I’ve named most of the compulsions and obsessions I have and I have 18 compulsions that are physical and about 5 obsessions that I really don’t wanna name right now. anyway, i really don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve done a lot of research regarding around disorders, and it’s safe to say that I may have OCD. Now, do i want ocd? absolutely not. however, there’s a family member in my family who has it. so the chances of me having it are strong, i don’t think I’m able to get better until I’m 18. an adult. I’m 12 years old, my mom has noticed my compulsions and me repeating certain words. but she does nothing, absolutely nothing. instead, she just argues with me over it. if I ever tell my mom to sit down and ask her about getting a test, she would probably call me the R-Slur and tell me I’m crazy. Therefore, I’m all alone in this situation with no one to help me. another obsession I have is about me catching cancer if I don’t do a compulsion or I might get paralyzed and get sleep paralysis. It’s so horrifying, there’s more obsessions and compulsions I have but I really don’t wanna name them right now. I cry almost every day because of how exhausted I am, and how much help i truly want to get but I don’t think I ever will. I’m unsure whether or not I have ocd, people tell me to get a diagnosis. but the situation I am in right now makes it impossible. i have no way of getting tested but I have a good feeling I have ocd, if you’re reading this, please try to give me your thoughts and what I should do, and if I even have OCD. Thanks! :))

Does anyone else have this really weird thing where if the weather reminds u off a bad ocd trigger, when the weather isn’t just right, for me it’s the awkward temperature between winter and summer, it reminds me of the days I had very bad ocd and it triggers severe anxiety and I just want to be inside and avoid feeling the temperature? I get this with this specific drink from boba as well. If I drink it I’m convinced it makes me worst and spiral. I’m so scared. I suffer from PURE O and SOOCD and health OCD & death mainly.

I felt horrible earlier, I even cried out of anger, so I left my place to get some fresh air, plus I had already planned to run errands after I finished washing 3 loads! Unfortunately, I don’t have my own washer/dryer since I live in an apartment complex with a shared laundry room, which can be quite stressful sometimes. Not only because I need to find a convenient time to wash when the washers aren’t all being used, but also because I have to make sure no one touches my clothes. It’s happened before and it happened again today! And this time it was my toddlers clothes, which I’m even more sensitive about. When I went to get our clothes, I was hoping the dryer was still on, but I had to use the restroom and was waiting for my husband to change our toddlers diaper, so it took me about 2-3 minutes after my timer went off to walk down to the laundry room and when I walked in, this lady was literally picking up my toddlers clothes from the floor! I told her “That’s my clothes. What are you doing?!” And she stuttered, “Oh, oh, I’m sorry” and proceeded to put the clothes back and the dryer and I told her to stop and that I would do it. I then asked her “Why did you open my dryer?” And she said “I thought it was mine. I’m so sorry!” I took a deep breath and put everything in my laundry basket plus the other load and had to come back for the third one, which was still on. When I walked in my apartment, I told my husband and I started feeling more upset, so I teared up because I felt as if I washed everything for nothing! I told him “Now I have to do it all over again”… He said he could do it, but I told him I would do it again tomorrow at an earlier time. I then felt so stupid for being late a couple minutes and I cried once again. I usually never cry, when I get triggered. I just feel the anxiety, but today was BAD. I feel a headache coming now and I’m still anxious…. I keep thinking “Why did she even do that?” “Her hands were probably dirty” I didn’t accomplish anything today. 😔

From the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, my mind is spinning with the same thoughts over and over and over again without stopping. It feels like my brain is all over the place and I can’t control it anymore!!

Gossiping for reassurance /validation As I’ve gotten older I have really been reflecting and realizing like damn I did some stupid and shittt stuff. My sister told me something that really fucked me up so I went and told a bunch of my friends what happened without even considering what that would do to her reputation. I feel horrible for it now but whenever someone does something that makes me feel negatively I need to be reassured that my feelings are valid, or that someone at least can understand what I’m going through. It’s bad because once I start I can’t stop. Is this a problem for anyone else? I never realized how bad of a problem this was until I really stepped back and recognized that this could ruin peoples lives. I just need validation and reassurance that the way I feel is okay and understandable. I know this is stupid I worry I’m a narcissist because I didn’t even consider how this could hurt people. I would never want to destroy anyone’s life except for maybe one person lol but never my sister or my friends, even if I have gossiped to other people about the things they have said that hurt me/things that negatively affected me? Now I’m worried subconsciously maybe I did? But I know I would never do that I just like complaining a bit and once I start I cannot stop. I was talking to my friend the other day about how my roomate/best friend has a lack of empathy and I was giving her the reasons why I thought that cuz she asked me if I had any roomate drama. After I said everthjfn she said “wow you’re making me not like her” I was like “oh my god I don’t want to do that.” And I don’t but I also want her to understand where I’m coming from and I want her to agree with the things I am saying but I don’t want her to think that my friend is a horrible person because I don’t think that she is a horrible person I just think she lacks empathy.

In our latest post, we explore thoughtful and engaging responses for those moments when OCD is used flippantly or harmfully. Here are some ways to respond to those inevitabilities! Facing misconceptions with grace and humor can be a powerful way to educate others about OCD. BUT IT'S NOT ALL ON YOU! When you can, refer to other resources (that's why we have our page) and use these faux pas as a chance to remind yourself of the community you have. We aim for a day where people who have OCD are met with the empathy this disorder deserves!

when im on no contact w my ex i feel broken apart and miss him so much but i liked the feeling of trying to move on and seeing if i could finally be w someone else but i literally couldnt do it and realized i couldnt move on from him and now i feel guilty for even having the feeling of wanting to be w anyone else so we got back tg but when im w him i have a million intrusive thoughts abt finding other guys attractive and other crushes etc and i cant tell if theyre just thoughts or if theyre genuine feelings because they feel super real and ive always had a problem for months now of finding other guys attractive / wanting attention from other guys even tho i never wanted to feel that way and thats why we had broken up but now im stressed bcs i only want to like and love him and only find him attractive but sometimes ppl say things like hes the most attractive guy which i used to believe and then after all these thoughts i disagree in my head even tho i dont want to cuz i know hes attractive and i want to feel that hes the most attractive in my eyes but its hard with a million things and feelings running around in my head

Yesterday I tried to commit suicide because I started remembering things from my childhood that I did to another child and ask I kept thinking I remembered other instances of doing other things to them and I am really disgusted with myself and I don’t deserve to live. I’m scared to tell any even my therapist because of what she might think of me. I’ve also have intrusive thoughts about children, I know that I don’t find them attractive but my brain tells me that I do and I get all of these weird thoughts in my head all at once and I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I actually did this to them or if I’m making it up because of my trauma and anxiety. I tried asking them if they remembered me doing anything uncomfortable when we were children and they said no and were getting annoyed and dismissive.

No matter what I do I can’t stop ruminating thoughts. I feel so frustrated. My mind is so loud and the thoughts are just on a loop. I feel paranoid and can’t stop obsessing. Anyone have any helpful suggestions? 😣