Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Can somebody hear me out please,? This is such a weird obsession.. But I just wanna talk about it. Please tell me how to deal with this obsession?? Ok so whenever I'm at home I sometimes decide to just walk to the kitchen to grab something. But while my hands are down, near my pockets, I'm afraid that I'm gonna touch my dad or my brothers penis.. Ok this is weird..So now i actually did touch and now I'm really worried. Groinal responses are crazy, my ocd tells me that I liked the feeling of touching a penis and is telling me that I'm gay... Now I'm freaking out.. Please help please tell me how do i make this anxiety subside???

Not sure if this is normal, but all of a sudden, like within days, it seems as though my OCD is completely gone and I’m really confused. Any advice or experience with this would be great. Thanks

Do some of you have the same problem ⁉️ I don’t see myself as very beautiful and boys hardly recognize me and never ask me for a date and my HOCD tells me that „women definitely would ask you for a date“ and that I will never get a boyfriend so I should go with women. I always knew I never had a relationship because of my very (!) low self esteem but now my HOCD tells me that’s because of my HOCD.

Are nights the worst for anyone else? In the past week I’ve only gotten 3 hours tops of sleep per night (and it’s not even good sleep) because I keep on convincing myself I have a serious Illness of some kind. It makes the day time worse as well because I can’t focus on the things I need to do because my body is tired. I feel like if I just have a good nights sleep things will be better mentally but I can’t. It’s the absolute worst.

Hi guys, I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and a (quite light) OCD. One of my passion is writing and I would like my next short story to be about a character living with severe OCD. Does anyone have any testimonies, advice or things they'd like to share? Thank you :)

Does anyone know why ocd still finds ways to dispute facts? I’ve had so much confirmation I don’t have STDs and my brain still finds ways to pick holes in it, and convince me I have reasons to be scared, why is this? I have tangible proof I’m okay and I STILL can’t fully relax?! I don’t get it I thought when I had std tests I’d be instantly fine

I’m about to start Zoloft and I’m feeling very nervous about the possible side effects, especially because my doctor said it can cause sleep disruption and I get anxiety about if I’ve slept enough. I’m going to be taking it at night- has anyone gone onto Zoloft? What side affects did you experience?

Hi all Just wanted to say how helpful this community has been as a source for information and support. My wife has suffered from Contamination OCD for over a decade now and has tried CBT government and private courses at great cost, Well being courses, erp we’ve even moved house due to its horrendous effects. She’s had SSRI drugs before without success and then was put onto Clomipramine for a while which tempered her for some time even though the amounts taken have gradually increased to 200mg. Which I know is a lot. The problem though is that now they seem to have stopped working it’s like just stopped. Which has meant all her old rituals have come back with a vengeance, plus a horrible depression has enveloped her. She’s super sensitive irritable etc as you would imagine and it’s a great stress for us all as well as our children. Living together as a family with a contamination OCD is a nightmare. Question : she is going to therapist next week (she is) but they have Been reluctant to prescribe anything for the super anxiety she’s now has the depression or the super mood swings she has. Surely she needs something to take the edge of whilst attempting therapy again. Doesn’t the NICE guidelines say that an anti psychotic drug can be sometimes prescribed or another drug introduced alongside the Clomipramine ? Would really appreciate any experience or advice . And yes I’m aware it’s different for everybody. Many thanks in advance

Rewriting, when I was 15-16, I didn’t know what masturbation was, my friend who’s the same age as me introduced me to those things, they also introduced me to hentai and would show me sh*ta and idk why they would but they said they showed all their friends that. They’ve apologized for it but I still obsess for just seeing it. At the time we also watched an anime fad that was a joke but it was also sh*ta and we did stuff after. I feel disgusted from back then. I am 22 now and I’ve spoken to my therapist about this. We both agree I was a child and I didn’t know better, and that it was drawn and fictional, especially because I didn’t know what masturbation even was until I was 15-16, I dunno I’ve been obsessing so bad lately about it. I’m scared those past mistakes haunt me. One time I went on my tumblr nsfw blog (I more so masturbate out of compulsion, I am asexual.) I had a pic in my likes but it was hentai, the tags were in Japanese and I translated them and one of the tags said sh*ta and I freaked out. This was way back then as well, probably 17? Also when I had just turned 17 I started “going out” with someone on a website that shall not be named and 2 months in, I barely spoke to them so we never even conversated much at all, we role played like once her favorite character feeding her and it was dumb and it never got anywhere and like after a while of barely even talking to them I said wait how old are you and they said they would be 14 soon and I ghosted them. I don’t remember specifics. I just know I’ve told my therapists, all the ones I’ve had this and all of them say I did nothing wrong. I’m just tired, everything’s been bothering me so badly because my best friend left me and she was always my reassurance. She always told me I never did anything wrong. I know reassurance is bad, it’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. I just dunno what to do anymore. My brain has decided to obsess over these things as of late...I’ve been wanting to disappear because of it, it’s been debilitating me to the core. Can’t play games, can’t do anything. On top of feeling like crap cause my best friend and I started a “break”. Guilt resides in my stomach, therapists reassuring me over and over again obviously do nothing, I wish I knew how to deal with these things. I want my innocence back! I want a do over.

I have been dwelling on the same thing since February. It’s awful. It feels suffocating. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I hate myself for it

Std paranoid! My health checks are obscene Since four months ago I convinced myself I’m riddled after googling symptoms, and spiralled then more symptoms appeared I’ve been to the doctor god knows how many times - maybe 10 ish The optician 5 times about eye std paranoia Another optician 3 times 4 std clinics Phoned clinics repeatedly Phoned sexual health helplines repeatedly Still scared and depressed and feel at risk of losing my partner Why can’t my brain accept I’m ok? Does anyone know why it’s hard to accept it?

I just done a HOCD test from a top OCD clinic in LA. And it confirmed what I already new I'm 100% straight and it's the OCD playing games with my mind. It's getting easier week by week. And all this started two summers ago with a horrendous panic attack which then manifested into anxiety now this bullshit. But I truly believe I will beat this.

Depression drains my energy so much. Trying to get back on my feet without meds is so hard. So much has happened in my life and I’m filled with bad memories and low self worth. I don’t find the point in things anymore or lack interest. Even at my office job I got which is a great well paying job I am slow at working because I’m so drained, uninterested, and distract myself with music or some Netflix throughout the day. I was on adderall, Wellbutrin and klonopin, the adderall for off label use for ocd to focus. Ever since I got off I’ve never been the same and was dependent on it I think. My mom hates that drug and told me if I want to go back on it I have to move out. I just got back from Dubai out of an abusive relationship and have to work for some time before I get medical insurance again. I’m working 7 days a week between 2 jobs. Lost a lot of friends from self destructive drunk behavior and now I’m alone. I have friends all over the world but no one really in New York where I am. Idk how to get the energy and life back into me naturally. My ocd thoughts make me extra guilty over past events as far as 7-8 years ago and I always think things will haunt me so it weighs me down and prevents me from becoming the best person I can be.

How do I deal with a troll at work? I’m 30 but still work in an entry level position. He likes to get under my skin and I am too sensitized at this time to deal with it. I don’t want to get into my personal issues at work but I want him to leave me alone or at least stop busting jokes on me. Advice ?

It really feels that you, your mind has accepted the fact that you are a lesbian. Sometimes i feel why do i even have to say that i don't know what my sexuality is when i know i am a lesbian. Why am i even saying it's hocd.. When i have these thoughts my brain starts to hurt . I don't think i can ever hang out around with my female friends the way i used to

I saw a video long a go on youtube, it was more like a poetry slam called “how to know you’re lesbian”. ❗️HOCD-Trigger ❗️ At first she said something like “If you searched for a video like this, you probably are.” And then she told her story where she was on holidays with a guy she was dating. She told that she couldn’t cuddle with him and all this stuff like not having feelings for him etc. And at the end she realized she liked girls. It triggered me so much, because she came out in her late 20‘s. I have never had boyfriend and my fear is that when get one I realize I‘m lesbian, but I don‘t want to, because it doesn’t feel like myself ? Do you believe she knew that she likes girls from an early age although she came out late?

I caught chlamydia because I was stupid and had unprotected sex with 6 people in the last 6 months and people have made me feel like utter trash for this even tho I was the one who got checked out. I informed all six people. I went to the clinic and opened my legs. I hate condoms they make me sore no matter what type and they don't feel as good. But on future I will use them. I have a boyfriend now, after this is sorted and he's been sorted I will have unprotected sex with him hopefully forever. But never am I having casual partners again. My vagina is on fire, someone tell me your premiscuous sex stories because I feel like such a gross slapper even tho I wouldn't judge anyone else for making this mistake.

I’m so sick of being jealous and mad at this one girl. It’s making me so unhappy... but maybe I deserve to be! Jealousy is ugly. I get annoyed when I know she’ll be at social things because it means I won’t have fun. She’s always the centre of attention, and I envy that so much. But it’s even worse when they’re all together, including her, and I’m not there. Feeling left out sucks. But maybe I should be if I’m just gonna be jealous the whole time anyway! :( Does any body have any advice? I know it’s not a terrible terrible issue. But I just hate that it kills my vibe and tears me up for such a dumb reason.

YALL I DON’T GET ANXIETY AT ALL ANYMORE LIKE I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE THOUGHT OF BEING GAY FEEL LIKE I RECOVERED BUT I WANT MY ATTRACTION FOR BOYS BACK LIKE WTF IK SOME WILL SAY I NEED TO WAIT BUT I WAITED FOR 4 MONTH LIKE I SHOULD FEEL SOME CHANGE ITS GETTING WORSE IDK WHAT GOING ON LIKE IF U RECOVER YOU SHOULD BE YOURSELF AGAIN AND GET BACK YOUR ATTRACTION AND ALL THAT BUT ALL THAT RLLY HAPPENED TO ME IS THAT I DONT GET SCARED OF THE THOUGHTS ANYMORE WHATS THAT PLZZZZZ SOMEONE TELL WHAT DOES THAT MEAN LIKE I BEEN WANTING TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH ME SINCE FOREVER IF YOU FEEL TGE SAME PLZ TELL ME WHAT TO DOOO

Is OCD and depression a common package? It almost seems that I’ve had depression as long as my anxiety.