Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.

Anyone else stopped drinking alcohol due to false memory ocd? I’ve actually developed a huge fear of alcohol to the point where even if I only had one drink i become terrified I’d suddenly turn into a completely different person and act out on my intrusive thoughts. When drunk I would take pictures in the bathroom stalls as ‘proof’ no one was in there with me , I’d find notes on my phone the next morning saying things like ‘you’ve done nothing wrong’. I’d basically be terrified of myself…It goes on. I’m actually a very happy drunk but my ocd takes over the next morning making up crimes and convincing me I could’ve done terrible things. It’s just not worth it anymore.

I’m about to go on a trip with my partner and the last time we went my POCD flared up like crazy. I couldn’t enjoy any of our time together and he super noticed and I’m worried that I’ll ruin everything all over again. Idk I might take a journal with me to help. What do I do?

Hey everyone! I'm VERY new to this app. I'm not sure if I have OCD, but I feel like I do. I had horrible anxiety since I was a child, and I felt like I was crazy because the adults always laughed at my irrational concerns haha. I can't really afford to get diagnosed, and I'm also scared what will happen if I do. Maybe I'll get a peace of mind if I get diagnosed, but I know the OCD stereotypes that most people know. I'm afraid they will tell me I don't have it, since I'm not a super tidy, clean person and stuff. But I need answers to understand how to live myself more. What should I do? (Sorry if I said anything wrong in the post 😔🙏🏻)

I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.

does anyone else struggle with this? the last year has been awful. i feel like im the only one that deals with this, and its so scary and isolating. i feel like i dont recognize myself or other people anymore, and i find myself obsessing over the what ifs & i spiral into a panic attack almost everyday. i’m so exhausted.

I felt a pop in my head and looked it up and see that it says it could be an aneurysm, it felt like a blood vessel popping. I was stressed and was crying and it happened. Thank God I don’t have any other symptoms and no headache but I’m so scared now. Anyone else have things like this? Maybe it was due to me stressing

What are people’s thoughts or experiences on medication?

Anyone have any advice for me on how I can help myself and my husband with our marriage in regard to me and my mental health and brain constantly sabotaging and making things worse? Struggling and upset…. Words of help and advice much appreciated ❤️‍🩹

I have been on anxiety meds for about 2 months now but I have noticed my OCD has gotten soooo much worse. From the time I go to sleep, to the time I wake up my mind is always running and my brain does not allow me to just relax. Idk what else i’m supposed to do

I know this is probably far out but has anyone ever tried vitamin d to feel better? I am deficient at 13, just wondering if anyone has looked into it being a cause?

Hello my OCD/ROCD community. Today is my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend which in a lot of ways makes it my 1 year anniversary of dealing with ROCD. I wanted to take some time to process this journey and share some of the takeways that have come along the way. Righting this right now two hours away from our date I am feeling: excited, anxious, hopeful, fearful, and a whole mix of things. Kind of life most things in life huh? But anyways, let me get into it. 1. Digging into my ROCD and dealing with it head on opened up a new world of healing. Realizing the things I was so quick to judge my partner on we're the same things I am so quick to judge myself on. The thing that ultimately led to giving my partner more grace was giving myself more grace. 2. In most things in life we have mixed feelings. We rarely feel 100% happy about something without any other emotions (like fear, anxiety, hesitancy etc.) but when we experience that nuanced emotion in our relationship we assign meaning to it. That meaning is what creates anxiety. 3. I don't care what that girls instagram post says, her boyfriend is not perfect. We like to talk about relationships in absolutes which, are really never true. "He is always smiling!" "He is always kind." "I never doubted even once" Every single human person has flaws and that will always create moments of tension, or misunderstanding, or disappointment. That is simply life, and truly if your partner actually was perfect, there would be no opportunities for growth, so I would not wish that on yourself. 4. You can survive anxious moments, you do it all the time. At work, with friends, with family, you have had many an anxious moment. Someone much wiser than me once said, "what we feel to be true is often just a reflection of what we fear to be true." Read that again. 5. Your relationship does not have to be perfect to be good. Your partner does not have to be perfect to be good. You do not have to be perfect to be good. 6. You are perfectly capable of making decisions that align with your values in the midst of anxiety. Your feelings are not the most representation of what you truly want OVERALL. You can want something and be committed to it and not feel strongly about it in a moment, or even have negative feelings at times. This is just life. Let yourself be human. 7. Whatever happens in your relationship you will survive, and clinging onto compulsions does not minimize future pain, it only ensures present suffering. I know it's hard, but resist compulsions. It is really the only way. 8. Have so much grace and compassion for yourself. 9. More certainty does not actually equate to more correctness. You can be 100% certain about something that is totally incorrect. Certainty is not the security we have been tricked into believing it is. 10. Finally, breath work actually helps. If your like me you may have thought it was super hippie-dippy but it actually is huge. Locate where in your body you are feeling the anxiety and focus first on calming the physical sensation before anything else, I promise it will help. There truly is so much more I could say but I am going to stop it there, if no one else tells you today just know I am proud of you. You have overcome much more than this, and you are never alone!

I was completely under control of my ocd with medication. I always doubt whether I will commit something wrong that was my ocd but I understand that I need to do it by myself if something bad want to happen. Because of my anxiety when I have obsessive thoughts and that only remain as thoughts. But now a new type of thought occurred for first time which I try to eliminate by using logic but I can't. If someone can help me it would be helpful. The thought is when I move my body any parts for eg. Hand I consciously move it with giving force but the real physiology behind this movement is brain send signals to spinal cord then to muscles to carry out movement .then doubting thought arise .so is my brain controlling the movement . Then AM I not fully controlling my voluntary action.can my obession thought take place into action harm obession if I am not fully controlling my body rather brain control it .kindly give me a reply

am i a bad person for not letting these thoughts get to me anymore? I cringe when i get them, but i dont put any meaning behind them. Or atleast i try not to. Am i getting better? Because i feel like im a bad person and actually a p word for “accepting” these thoughts. How am i ever gonna recover if my brain is always doubting?

I am 16 years old and someone faked their age to me, she said she was 15 so i said to her that she is beautiful and all and also i said to her would you do anything sexual, then later on she tells me that she is 13 coming 14 this has made me feel so guilty😔 please help me

Really need some prayers and support as I feel so horrible. My harm OCD gets so bad. It may means nothing for you but is very triggering to me when I see bugs in my pool. I was swimming in the pool yesterday after work. I try not to pay attention on bugs cause every time I try to save them my ocd twists things. I have a special floating pillow that helps animals to get out of the pool so they don’t drown. Bugs sit on it sometimes. Yesterday I tried to remove some of these bugs so they don’t fall into water to save them. Then I left them alone but thought came that some of them may dropped in water cause moved that floating pillow. I wanted to check what has happened. It was getting dark so I used my phone camera to check if that bug was still on the floating pillow. And it was. Now my mind tells me I might blinded it cause I used my camera light. I thought not to use the light but still did cause could not see it in the dark. I am so tired of it. I can no longer do what I like (gardening, swimming, etc.) as it gets me in trouble with my head. 😞🥲 I think that somehow I still hurt creatures one way or another. Example: I save that bug from drowning in water, then my mind tells me I still somehow caused the harm to that creature. In this case, phone light may blinded it. Everything around is triggering now. I feel I’m never good. 🥲🥲🥲

Ugh, just ugh. Back story : I’m not in the best relationship. Bf struggles with ADHD and anger issues and I struggle with OCD, PTSD, Anxiety, ptsd from domestic violence and abuse from my father. I feel like because often there are fights that leave me feeling like there’s no hope and I’m always gonna be in these situations; also bc I can never leave bc then I’d have to live with my dad, which is impossible I’d rather seriously expire. It’s just not safe for me, but I’m in this situation now and I live with him and his older brother and his wife. Also, totally afraid regardless if I should be or not that if I ever brought up breaking up ever it would be bad and no one would help me out at all. That’s probably mostly the trauma but I can think any other way honestly. But things get better and I try and I do love him. Anyways, I feel like because of this if any guy treats me with respect and is actually interested in what I say… I like obsess over them or something like definitely a lot of pure o checking in my head and it’s exhausting and I feel gross and I feel evil and I feel awful. I just wish this stuff would stop. I wish I could make better decisions. I wish this wasn’t apart of my life :( ocd is tough af. I’m tough as nails and it’s so exhausting. So mentally tiring. There’s this guy I’ve known since I’ve known my bf and he was interesting and we have common interests anyways. They’re friends ofc and when he comes over it’s just hell for my mind no matter how proactive I try to be. There’s always this chance that “he could be my soul mate” “he could share the same feelings” and then like things go bad between me and my bf and I’ll have dreams about his friend and I’m like wtf which if I have a dream I remember I think it must be a sign. “It must be a sign” should be tatted on my head. Any wise words? Am I awful? How can I stop this? Bc I’m trying, probably not hard enough. I have my boundaries and try to control myself as much as possible but it’s hard too bc I’m very kind and outgoing and we have a lot in common, and my relationship is toxic at times. Idk man I’m tired. I could go on and on about this but yeah just wanted to get it off my chest and feel heard tbh.

does anyone here also struggle with sexuality ocd as a queer individual? i’ve mostly seen people talk about it from a heterosexual perspective but i haven’t seen or heard much from those who identify as queer or lgbtq and such. i’ve struggled with comphet (compulsive heterosexuality) since i was a kid however have always been confident from a young age that my attraction and desire in romantic relationships is exclusive to women even after trying to like & date men. though, recently, i’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts about the men i’ve interacted with. i am okay with male friendships however the thought of being with a man repulses me and makes me nauseous. i keep going back and forth in my head to “check” how i feel by forcing myself to think about situations that include men. it is becoming incredibly exhausting and i wish it would just go away. i just want to know i’m not alone

I’m newly diagnosed with ocd. The onset of my symptoms started a little over a month ago on vacation. I have harm and real event ocd which has sent me down a spiral for a few weeks as the two subtypes work together in convincing me my themes are really true. I didn’t become aware of the possibility that I had ocd until a week after my symptoms started due to the fact that ocd is portrayed so differently in media/movies. I’m beginning to think that my OCD has been with me longer than I imagined and possibly started in my childhood. I had a serious fear of myself and others vomiting especially in school. I can recall two times where my peers vomiting in school caused me to panic. Once I even ran out of the classroom and hid in one of the private bathrooms in elementary school because someone had vomited. As I’ve gotten older I have become somewhat tolerant of seeing others puke but it still startles me. I have a fear of being sick myself and have always been obsessed with tracking who has the stomach flu. A few months prior I was exposed to someone that had it without knowing it and refused to eat a large meal because I was convinced I was gonna have it the next day. I want to make it clear that while I don’t like respiratory illnesses I usually don’t have the intense anxiety and fear of cold and flu stuff. It seems to just be contagious gastrointestinal diseases (Norovirus). Another thing that I’m not sure about is how I am in relationships. Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. I have always been extremely worried that he’s going to cheat on me or go behind my back. Well both download the Life360 app because we often drive to see each other and make sure we get home safely and because he wanted to reassure me that he wasn’t doing anything behind my back. This app became my go-to to check his location because I constantly worried. I also freaked out over the smallest “clue” that I would misconstrue and think he was definitely cheating to the point where I was absolutely convinced and at times was ready to walk out. He would literally go the extra mile and give me literal proof that he was innocent but yet I still ended up at square one. I feel incredibly horrible when i ruminate and think about how he felt because Ik he was innocent. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve someone as good as him. He’s been with me every step of the way since my ocd really started. Ik it’s probably just me being super insecure but at the same time I’ve just been diagnosed with ocd and my rumination has often brought me back to moments in life where maybe it was ocd type stuff. Ofc after a while I became convinced that I’m just an absolute horrible person and that I don’t deserve anything and that I have something else other than ocd and it validates everything. I’ve actually had a good few days and have been productive since this first started but I feel like I have something in my mind pulling me back and reminding me that I HAVE TO think about it or else I don’t care and that it’s all true. I also believe I don’t actually have it and just manipulate my way into the diagnosis even though I feel like a prisoner in my own mind.

Hello, this is my first time posting! I just want to reflect on how cruel and unfair OCD is. It’s so hard to tell where OCD ends and where you begin, and vice versa. Anything and everything can become a compulsion, and there’s no real way to know without falling into a trap. I honestly thought I was just being responsible and aware before finding out it’s all been ruminating and mental compulsions my entire life. Breaking away from the pattern of Pure-OCD is brutal, but necessary to get my life back. Anyone else feel this way?