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Hi all! Any tips for riding out an OCD episode? Trying not to use safety behaviours/compulsions or ruminate etc.

I have two memories of molesting two different children and nothing has come of it. No one has spoken up about it no one’s complained hell there’s nothing even on the cameras. But I’m convinced these false memories happened and it scares me to death. Did I really molest those children or is my brain conjuring all of this up? What do I do because I feel like I can’t live with myself

I’m trying to get past the thought in my head that “this is not ocd”. Mainly because I’m not doing compulsions that much anymore it’s just the constant thoughts and still some anxiety from them. The idea that I haven’t figured this out puts a pit in my stomach and brings me to tears. I just know if I do compulsions it’ll feel like the cycle will never stop and it’s exhausting. I already think about this every second of the day and I feel like I can’t enjoy anything so my mind says “well you’re not doing compulsions you’re just anxious about the fact that your life is gonna change and you don’t want it to”. This is so hard I don’t know what to do

does anyone else have this? over the past couple of days i’ve developed i guess a new compulsion where i just feel like i need to constantly pray over every little thing or something bad will happen. if im on tiktok or see anything where any person is struggling in any way or maybe not even but they just look sad or something i feel like i have to pray , also the same thing when it comes to my family, bf, friends or pets. i pray abt and for them like 30 times a within an hour and im not exaggerating 😭. i feel scared and worried that if i don’t word it right or include everyone i have ever cared about something bad will happen to them or to me.

i obsess over extremely negative unwanted thoughts and no matter how hard i try to convince myself they’re just thoughts and i don’t actually want that they continue to almost consume me in a way? it’s like a constant battle with myself and there’s been many times where it physically makes me ill and distressed and like i need to tell someone even if it also affects them. i have some decent days where i can fight them but ive noticed when im stressed i can only fight them for so long. i seriously feel crazy 99% of the time and like nobody understands me. everyone always tells me they get bad thoughts too and it’s human which i understand but not everyone gets them to the extent of some others. its to a point where i just want to give up sometimes so i won’t have to deal with the thoughts. of course i never would but my mind does go there.

how to treat intrusive groinal responses? any advice?

I am experiencing the absolute worst depersonalization I have ever experienced and I do not know what to do. Nothing feels real and I am so scared and it really feels like I am so detached from myself. What can I do to make this stop? I am so worried I am going to do something horrible in this state. PLEASE HELP!!!

I’m coming to terms with the fact that alongside ocd I may have a fearful avoidant attachment style. I wanted to get a better understanding of it so started searching up what it was on youtube. Under one comment section someone expressed how they really liked a guy and then something minor happened and they immediately got turned. I understood her comment and felt kind of seen. That was until I looked at her replies two comments stuck out to me. One said it sounds like lesbianism and the other talked about how the commenter may be gay. This sent me into a spiral, I haven’t flared up like this for a bit. I’ve managed to stay in a state of uncertainty till now all of a sudden. The commenter replied to one of these comments a couple months later saying that she went to seek help and found out they have relationship OCD. Surely this would also make me feel seen and put me at ease? But still I’m ruminating past evidence and among other rituals that I managed to void out before. I’m so scared this will forever be my life, I’ll have a good couple months and then I’ll fall back into an awful loop. I’m 19 right now but I feel as though because of this theme I’ll never find a partner and I’ll forever be alone because I’m unsure. My brain keeps on telling me that I’m using this attachment style as a ‘cover up’. I’m just so over this I wish I could go back to before I had this theme. I rarely come on here because I found that sometimes it worsens my ocd but I feel so alone…

My intrusive thoughts with my SO OCD have been flaring up horribly for the past couple weeks, I think due to stress. Today has been especially bad. I’ve been experiencing false attractions with every woman I’ve been seeing today and it’s making me feel so gross that I feel anxious and sick to my stomach and that I’m going to cry. I cannot shake all the feelings in the body that make it FEEL like I’m « attracted » to them even though I know deep down it’s all fake!! I don’t know if I’m dealing with it right. I’m trying my best to just ignore the thought but the minute it stops, my ocd convinces me that I am in denial because I was able to stop and then I can’t stop thinking about that this confirms im in denial and I freak out and the process starts all over again. I don’t know if I should respond to the thought or ignore it or if what I’m doing is denial or really SO OCD. I have been ruminating on it so much the past couple weeks and it’s starting to take a turn to where I don’t remember anything except my intrusive thoughts and feelings and I am having a hard time getting things done at work and showing up to things and being fully present. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I just want it to stop. If i was bi or gay or whatever, that’s fine!! I don’t care. But the thought of being with a woman when the fake attraction I feels makes me want to vomit makes me feel dread at the idea of dating a woman. Im currently dating a wonderful man who is a great fit for me and makes me incredibly happy. It feels like if im in denial and my intrusive thoughts are right, i will have to break up with him and that thought alone destroys me. I could go on about how I have only liked, loved and been attracted to men my entire life and have never wanted to be with a woman in any other way besides a friend but I feel like that will just make my anxiety worse. I have been dealing with SO OCD on and off since puberty but it got incredibly more severe the past couple years. Does anyone have any constructive advice about how to deal with the rumination? Should I ignore it? Should I sit with it and accept the fact that it might be true? Anything would help thank you!!

Hi guys so I made a rant about this a little while ago but I think it was too long to read so I tried to shorten it, I’ll answer any questions anyone has happily, I would just really appreciate any help I (female) started dating my best friend (male) on the 2nd March. We live in the uk and met through drama class a couple years ago and our families are close. He is the year group below me and we have an age gap of 1 year, 5 months, 2 weeks in total (I’m 17, he is 16 in like a day). I spoke to a lot of people irl, they told me it’s nothing to worry about and to go for it, there’s been like the odd joke now and again but all our family and friends have been very supportive, more so than I would’ve expected for any relationship actually (I think they shipped us for a while lol). I want to trust them but I go on a Tik Tok comment section or something regarding a similar topic and some comments will be saying that it’s not okay, and I’ll try to focus on the more rational seeming people disagreeing with them but I can’t help but worry if they’re right, not just chronically online and I’m doing something wrong. I genuinely love him so much, he’s my favourite person, I have no bad intentions just want to see him happy. We have kissed but I’ve told him I want to take it slow and wouldn’t be comfortable doing anything more than that anytime soon which he understands. Opinions?

I'm in such a dark place with SOCD or HOCD, I don't know what to do at this point. It's literally the only thing that I focus on all day and I don't even know who I am anymore. Some days I worry that I'm gay and the other days I worry that I'm asexual because I want to be with women so bad. Ever since this started I've lost pretty much all my sexual attraction to girls and now have crippling social anxiety. I used to check both gay and straight p*rn to see what I got excited by and now that I quit doing that things are so much worse. This has negatively affected pretty much every aspect of my life and it's made me suicidal. There are times when the thoughts get so bad I start to hit myself. No medication that I have tried has worked at all and I'm pretty sure they just give me side effects. I feel so lost and helpless, I can't even get therapy on this site because my insurance doesn't cover it. If anyone has any tips for me or resources that I could use that would be awesome.

I’ve asked about this before on this app and I was told I wasn’t doing anything wrong and same thing in real life but when I go online I start to freak out bit. For context I’m in the UK and basically on the 2nd March, I (female) started dating my best friend (male). We’re both actors and met at my drama group when I was 14 he was 13. He turns 16 in two days but at the time we started dating two months ago he was 15 with me being 17 (I’m one year group older but nearly 1.5 years older in age). Now when I started to worry about liking him I asked basically all the people in my life if I would be doing anything wrong by dating him and they all said no and the age gap is basically nothing. This might sound daft but even then like I knew I was in love with him and vice versa, both of us have said we’re each other’s favourite people and we’ve never had such a great emotional connection with another person before, so I didn’t wanna ruin something that I knew would be great for us both by worrying about something that literally everyone told me not to worry about. So irl everything’s fine, but sometimes when I look online (Tik Tok videos usually) for reassurance when I start to worry “what if” , most comments don’t really bat an eye at like a 1 or 2 year age gap (I know ours isn’t actually 2 years but I figure if 2 is fine then 1 is as well) but every now and then they’ll be someone saying about how it’s like grooming or the persons a victim and while rationally I try to tell myself that they’re just chronically online it still gets to me and focus on the more rational seeming people who usually are there disagreeing with them. Logically if there was anything wrong I know that neither of our parents would be so supportive of it as they have been and neither would our friends (mutual or individual), they’d tell me something was up. He knows I have moral scrupulosity and tried to comfort me but I always think as the younger one it’s just kinda easy for him to say that it’s fine lol. Really I always said and thought I’d be with someone older so that could be it, didn’t think I’d mentally be able to date someone younger for this very reason. But he is literally the best person I ever met so I pushed through the worrying, and even my mam has warned me not to freak out and ruin something so great. I won’t go into detail but physically all we’ve done is kiss and that was mostly cos while I knew it worried me I just didn’t wanna mess up any of the romance or the natural part of the course of a relationship and have the memory of us at the start of our romantic relationship just be me freaking out all the time and messing everything up. I’ve told him I wanna take it slow and will not be doing more than that any time soon which he totally gets. Genuinely have no bad intentions whatsoever I just love him for the person he is and most of all out of everything just want to spend quality time with him and make sure he’s happy. I’m just grateful he understands and is patient with me not really initiating anything like that (not just cos of silly age rumination also cos of worries about doing the wrong thing anyway like consent wise, want to have no doubt that I’ll be causing no harm, just thought I’d clarify). Sorry for this being so long (believe me I could’ve made it longer lol) I’ve just been feeling extra compulsive recently. If anyone needs me to clarify anything just ask, I’m just grateful for any help I can get <3

it’s been getting really hard to pray. like the thoughts are constant. i can’t concentrate, and it’s just tiring. i feel like a failure to God sometimes. I know that’s not true but still. Not to mention that praying is a compulsion of mine and i do it a lot so i’m just stressed out all the time. I feel bad if i don’t pray over the littlest things. because ik my prayer can make a big impact. i’ve had ocd for years, so none of this is new but it’s like coming at full force. how am i supposed to have a relationship with God if my prayer life isn’t doing well?

Does anyone else get a random wave of anxiety and an awkward feeling that you are not yourself??? i don’t know how to explain it but it feels like i’m gonna act on my intrusive thoughts because i barely feel like myself, i even feel out of my body and horrible body sensations

I jumped at the opportunity to share my story when NOCD told me about their advocacy program so today I’m going to tell you all about my OCD journey to help those not feel so alone! I want to start this by saying just because my story may not look like yours doesn’t mean your story isn’t valid! Everyone is different! The first time I remember having an intrusive thought was when I was around the age of 6-7 I remember I was making sandwiches with my father and as I held the knife I had the thought “stab him, you need to stab him” I was so scared at the thought, I thought it meant I was a bad person or that I wanted my father dead. I was terrified. Years later different thoughts and themes would be more prominent and by the time I was in my early 20s was when I read in depth about OCD. I dealt with POCD for YEARS before I got help, I remember doing compulsions like googling to find answers to what I was thinking and feeling or any form of reassurance I could get! While I was googling (and never finding any peace) I came across an article saying “do you have POCD?” I remember thinking “I don’t have OCD, I’ve never been diagnosed and I’m not clean!” It’s crazy what the stigma can make you believe about an illness. I however read the article anyway and I’m so glad I did because that’s how I found NOCD. I realized I had been struggling with POCD as a main theme from the age of 16 (I am now 27) I went to my doctor to get a professional diagnosis and started therapy after a few months of saying “I don’t need therapy, it doesn’t work for me!” I realized my ways of “making things better” AKA compulsions!! Weren’t working and I needed a professional. I was scared, I remember thinking my therapist will think I’m an awful person with awful thoughts and call the police, I can’t tell her the truth about what’s going on in my head! But when I met my therapist I exploded with emotions, crying, telling her everything about what I was thinking and how I was feeling. I desperately needed help and NOCD and my therapist Lourdes were the life line that I needed to get better. My therapist was my rock, constantly cheering me on, telling me “I could do hard things” that simple saying has stuck with me since the first day she said it. I learned how OCD attaches to what you value most, that the reassurance seeking and constant googling I had been doing for my entire life was not helping but hurting my recovery and we worked together to craft the perfect ERP exercises so I could heal. I was doing well for so many months until OCD decided to attach onto another thing that I love and value most, something I wasn’t expecting, my relationship. I had a horrible run of intrusive thoughts about my partner. These thoughts lasted for about 8 months when I realized that I needed an extra boost of help. That medication and therapy would be my best shot at fighting this and that taking medication is nothing to be ashamed of. I started Luvox and continued ERP exercises I am so happy to say that my OCD is very manageable now! I still have intrusive thoughts but they no longer have that intense chokehold on me. I can sit with the uncomfortable feelings and let them pass, I do still catch myself doing compulsions which is a very normal part of recovery and will be something I will most likely catch myself doing for the rest of my life! However it is so important to recognize it and try in the future to resist! I am so happy to say that I have been going on a few months now of minimal intrusive thoughts and anxiety and I am beyond happy in my life and relationship. If you take anything away from this I hope you take away that you are NOT alone, ERP therapy saves lives, it will get better, medication is nothing to be ashamed of and you can do hard things!! You may feel like when you have another tough patch that you’re “right back to where you started” as I have felt in the past, but I promise you that isn’t the case. You can and will get through this and I know that my OCD may get worse again but I know with the support of my therapist, my inner circle and the support of this community I can and will make it through. We can do this and I know it may be scary at first and may feel impossible to get better or that somehow you’re the exception and that nothing will help you get better but I promise you that’s not the case. I felt the exact same way before I started therapy. You will get better, I believe in you and you aren’t alone ❤️

Anyone who is in a relationship, does OCD flare up when you are being sexually intimate with your partner? I have never had this experience before and I was caught off guard. However I still continued to be intimate with my girlfriend and not let OCD dictate my life. Just wanted know.

What books, links, articles do you reference to build knowledge and awareness about OCD?

Are anyone else's intrusive thoughts SO quick that it seems like you're skipping the thought and going straight to the fear? For example: out of the corner of my eye I thought the closet light was on, but when i looked, it wasn't. I instantly felt fear, and backtracked my thoughts and realized I was afraid that I was seeing things. This makes it feel like I'm afraid of everything!!! 🥲

I Recently diagnosed with ocd. The onset of my symptoms started a month ago today. I just moved back in with my parents because I am in the process of transferring colleges. I was doing great. I took a vacation about 2 weeks after I moved back on and planned on relaxing then coming back home to prepare myself for the upcoming semester at the local college (I am going into nursing school). The vacation started out great. The first day made me drowsy because of how long of a flight I had and also switching time zones. The second day was full of fun activities. I really enjoyed that day and what there was to do not knowing what was coming that night. Fast forward to that night I was pretty worn out from the day and started to settle down the way I usually do before bed. I love scrolling through YouTube and used to love watching content such as crime network as this was something me and my bf routinely watched and talked about. The video just happened to be about a kid who had done something absolutely horrific. I was pretty invested in the video at first but then all of a sudden got a thought about me doing something horrible to my family. I was so shaken by this thought and felt a physical shock to my body. My heart started to pound out of my chest and I didn’t know what was going on and how to react to something like this. My only reaction was to go take a long bath. That bath somewhat helped and I somehow was able to go to sleep afterward. I woke up the next morning and began remembering what happened a few hours prior and just thought that it was “just a weird thought” and tried to push it off. I had a full agenda that day and didn’t wanna dwell on it. At first that day started out ok. I went and ate lunch at a great restaurant in the area. Though I didn’t feel the distress, the thought of what I experienced the night prior was still there and kept popping up. Suddenly the violent thoughts of me harming my family hit me again. I was out doing stuff with my family at the time and remember being so panicked and confused but yet I couldn’t show any of what I was feeling. The rest of that day was ruined. I remember watching my family enjoying the activities but I just kinda sat there and pretended. The thoughts turned into some kind of voice or command. All I heard was “you’re going to enjoy the rest of the day but this is your family’s last time alive together” and things of that nature. I felt so sick and confused. This ultimately went on throughout the vacation and ruined it. It would come and go and sometimes I thought it had gone away only to return again. It’s been a month now since this started and it has snowballed into crazy obsessions. Sometimes they are still about my family but it has morphed into obsessions of being the next serial killer or mass murderer. I keep thinking back to my childhood and all of my mistakes and taking that as proof that I’m a psychopath and have every mental illness ever despite every dr I’ve compulsively seen telling me that I’m not. I ruminate over shows about crime that I’ve seen in the past and envision myself following in the same footsteps of these killers. I can’t do anything without relating to what Ive heard about those people. 2 weeks ago it got so bad that I literally slept all day and was up all night researching all of this stuff. I’ve become almost emotionally blunt to things and even the thoughts which in turn gives me anxiety. For the past 3 days now I have been productive for the first time and actually eating somewhat normally again. Even though I feel better than I have I still have something nagging at me in my mind that makes me feel guilty for doing anything other than googling or doing my compulsions. I don’t feel the anxiety I have been and that alone is freaking me out. I’m in doubt that I have ocd even though I’ve been diagnosed by 3 professionals including a therapist. I am scheduled to start erp this week with NOCD. I feel like I’m living life behind a glass wall. I see everyone going on with life and wanna be able to engage and enjoy the things that I used for without the worry. I feel like I have a bully in the back of my mind constantly shouting at me when I’m trying to live life and it always calls me back. I catch myself looking a pictures taken prior to the start of this and feel like I’m looking at a different person. I often think about stuff like what if I never watched that video, what if I had known a day or even an hour before it started and had some warning sign about how my life was about to change. My ocd makes me feel like a narcissist or horrible person for posting this because I always doubt this diagnosis and say that I manipulated myself into it even though this has really been my experience. If this really is ocd then I don’t wish this on my worst enemy. I wanted to share this so maybe someone going through this similar manifestation of the disorder can relate and won’t feel as alone as I do.

My anxiety is really bad today and I’m struggling to be in public for fear of fainting or dying due to my anxiety 😖😭