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I have really bad intrusive thoughts and I feel like I can never get rid of them they’re always there and I can never get them of my mind can someone help me ?

I take a fashion a level and I'm so behind on work. It's all my fault. I look around me, and everyone else can just get on with work. And now, because of my inability to do anything right, I'm sat here at 2am trying to get all of my missed work done, because my teacher is marking our project tomorrow. I just to cry because it's all my fault. But even now, I'm just sitting here unable to do it. I knew WEEKS AGO that I would have to do it at some point, even had days off because I felt too scared to go in because I'm so behind on all my work. I still didn't do it. It doesn't help that it's practical work too, so I'm sitting here trying to sew things and make jewellery and get everything done. I know it's my own fault. I wish I could tell my teacher I'm just so overwhelmed. She's nice, and friendly, so I probably could, but I'm just too terrified. I might as well just quit while I'm at it. Go in tomorrow with barely completed work and just tell her I tried my best, even though I didn't really. I just want to cry. I don't know why I'm posting this, it's not related to OCD. I just don't know where else to turn.

i obsess over God. I know it’s good to have a relationship with Him, but I feel like I go overboard and am constantly worried about making Him angry. I know this is my ocd, but i was just wondering like how much do Christians without ocd like do it? bc I don’t see them praying constantly like i do. I like to have a set time where I settle down and talk to God and read the bible sometimes (when my brain isn’t acting crazy) and read the daily verse. but my brain either says i need to that way before like sometime in the day rather than at night. And i do talk to God periodically throughout the day, but I gotta say it’s mostly my ocd rituals. Idek what i’m asking here but I just don’t know. Sometimes i’m too overwhelmed to even talk to God or read the Bible. and also i’m constantly worrying if what i’m doing is right or wrong. People say if it feels wrong it usually is, but my brain tells me almost everything i do is wrong. I want to please God and I’d give these things up for him bc I love him way more than anything. But it stresses me out trying to guess if it’s God or just all in my head.

After that triggering dream where the worst thing could have happened, I don't feel legimitated anymore to feel genuinely distressed by triggers, to call compulsions as such. It all feels disingenuous. They don't feel valid anymore. Like crocodile tears. Because the one thing I didn't want to happen probably happened, that undoes everything else. I feel like a hypocrite, to feel distress and worry about those things, being anxious of that particular fear because in that dream it happened. I felt arousal and probably genuine attraction, I'm afraid that I could have agreed with it. Maybe it isn't true, maybe it didn't happen, maybe I'm misinterpreting, but then why I was left with that impression? All because of a damn dream, because ocd, all my triggers intrude even in my sleep, because I can't even be safe in my dreams. This is the worst mental illness.

This is really dumb probably, and maybe aimed at people around my age and possibly older. But how many of you are familiar with vocaloid? Basically if your not then maybe you won’t know what I’m talking about but when I was in middle school I got really into vocaloid and like all people at some point I discovered the really popular song “magnet”. It’s a song between the two robot girls “Miku & Luka” the song itself is really dumb but cute it’s about two girls who can’t be in love because-their girls-(it’s dumb Ik) this is their oldest song it’s like 15 yrs old. And because of this song so many more spawned of these two girls being in love. And I liked them a lot when I was a kid and into early high school and lowkey discovered my sexuality through them? (One of many reasons) Point is a lot of ppl in this community ship them together because of this song and many others. When i was like 16 I uploaded a lot of ship art of them on my Pinterest and saved them so I can look at them. I’m not really into vocaloid all that much anymore but today I saw a comment on one of the pictures I uploaded saying that “but luka is 20..” and that’s when I remembered that ppl don’t like this ship because miku is said to be 16 and Luka 20 years old. When I was younger I never really thought about it because the community loves them together and even still today like millions of ppl have watched their songs- and now as I got older and lost interest I realize that maybe it is really bad that I liked them? And what if that person that uploaded that comment thinks I support P’s or worse that IAM one. I’m in a lot of destress because of it I don’t support P’s I’m not a P I don’t ever want to be one I’m so scared that this person will spread around that I’m a P or worse and I’m not. I want to delete all the pictures I uploaded because I’m scared. I don’t really know what to do. I never really thought about them like that. Sorry if this is a dumb I already spoke to my mom but I’m still freaking out-what do I do? What do I need to do?

Am I the only one who gets truly terrible and graphic intrusive images? They're too much.

I think I have suffered from some forms of pure ‘o’ OCD for a while now, but I am not sure as they come and go and change with time. At the moment I cannot stop obsessing over the thought that I must be a pedophile, despite having no desire to harm children and no attraction to children. Now even the thought of the word ‘children’ or the sight of them makes me feel anxious and on edge that I will for some reason harm them or everyone will know that I am a molester even though I am not and would never want to be. I also cannot stop trying to look into the past to see if I ever behaved inappropriately around children and testing/bargaining with myself when there are children around to prove to myself that I am in fact normal. It is very hard to focus on anything, so sometimes performing weird rituals like counting to 8 and not stepping on the cracks helps to soothe me, but I have resorted to harming myself at worse moments. Also, when I was growing up, I thought I had sexuality based OCD or anxiety because I was terrified of being a lesbian. I would try and bargain and explain myself out of the idea that I could be gay, and try to find evidence that would prove to myself that I was straight. However, I have since accepted that part of myself and dismissed it as denial, but now I am experiencing similar anxiety levels with this suspected POCD. Now I am afraid that this means I am not truly queer, or even worse, that it is not POCD and I am in danger of becoming a pedophile in the future. However, when I was anxious over my sexuality I think I did on some level know that I was attracted to women, whereas I don’t have a clue where these thoughts that I would harm children have come from. However it was a while ago and I can’t stop obsessing that they are the same thing; these thoughts are extremely distressing so I don’t know what to do.

Last night my friend and I did edibles for the first time. We accidentally did too much and we both became incredibly anxious. For me it made my ocd bad I started constantly checking to see if I was aroused and I got paranoid that I was and then kept checking and it really just triggered my ocd. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through similar things? I got really bad sexual and violent intrusive thoughts.

Me and my long-distance boyfriend are meeting for the first time in 2 days! I'm so excited. I'm also starting to have an ROCD flare up right now. The thoughts aren't flooding in too bad but I can feel it coming. I think the flare up may be related to nerves? But basically, one of my worst themes in 2022 when my OCD was at its worst was ROCD because I was constantly worrying whether or not I had cheated on my boyfriend, every little thing sent me into a state of panic, I started having false memories and sometimes they still feel real to me if I think about them long enough. I’m starting to have a feeling of anxiety and guilt right now, like I don’t deserve to be happy or to even be meeting my sweet boyfriend. I love him more than anything and then thought of hurting him makes me sick, you know? I am resisting the urge to confess all my thoughts and feelings to people I know, because that will just make things worse. I think what I need right now is someone to talk to/relate to. Does anyone else relate? I’m feeling kind of disappointed in myself that it’s been 2 whole years of me suffering on and off with this same theme. And, with my OCD meds that I’m on, I’m gonna have to go off of them when I want to start having babies. Just thinking of that scares me because me and my boyfriend want to get married and have children, but the thought of being unmedicated while I’m pregnant/breastfeeding scares me so bad. I’ve warned my boyfriend that when we have kids I may be a bit delusional while I’m pregnant/off my meds and he told me he would take care of me when that happens. I’m grateful for him, so so grateful.. I’m just feeling like I don’t deserve any of this. My mind wants to go back to that place of ruminating and reassurance-seeking. Although I’ve been free of most of my awful compulsions for a while, my body wants to go back to it, almost like instinct. Sigh. Please pray for me. 🥺

Hello, so I had some pretty bad OCD. I had intrusive thoughts and I would do very disturbing rituals/ compulsions to try to suppress the thoughts. It was extremely unhealthy. It pretty much took over my life. It was non stop. I got the help I needed. I saw a physiatrist and she put me on medicine. We found a good combination of medicine that worked great. Over time I felt the best I had in so long! It was great! But then we lowered the dose of the medicine and eventually I stopped taking it. It turned out I didn't do it right. The first mistake was at this point I had not taken any therapy, only medicine. And also I believe I didn't take enough time lowering the dosage before I just completely stopped taking the medicine. So basically at this point I unfortunately relapsed and started doing all those terrible compulsions again. It was horrible! It was a nightmare. So I obviously saw my physiatrist again and we went back on the medicine. And she then strongly recommended I see a therapist. So I did. I signed up to NOCD and started taking sessions. They taught me a lot! It was extremely helpful. So after the therapy and continuing taking my medicine I got back to where I was before the relapse. I was in a great spot again. At this point my physiatrist recommended we start to reduce my medicine again.. but this time we did it way more slower. I would take lower dosages monthly. I would cut my pills in halves, then quarters, then I would take a pill every other day etc. We got to a point ( about 3 months ago) Where we decide I stop taking the medicine. Now here I am now. So I haven't relapsed. What I mean is I haven't done any of my terrible rituals/ compulsions that really spiral me out of control. So I'm proud of that. But unfortunately I just feel like some of the symptoms are returning. I find myself doing very small ticks to try to suppress some of these thoughts. I guess you can call them compulsions. There not anything bad but I know I'm doing them. I know I probably should stop because I fear that could lead to worse compulsions. So basically after I stopped taking my pills I've noticed a difference. It's no where near as bad as it was!! I'm able to live with this. Thanks to everything I know from therapy etc... but to be honest I kinda feel a little depressed because I know there are symptoms returning. I can feel them. So it kind of sucks. I'm trying my best to not do any compulsions. But it's been like every day where I'm dealing with these symptoms. And it's got me down. I'm seeing my physiatrist in a week. And I'm going to ask her if she thinks I should get back on some medicine. The best I ever felt was when I was on my pills. There were some side effects but nothing to bad. They weren't an issue. I felt amazing when I was on them. I just don't feel the best right now. It's it OK to be on medicine (at least a small dosage) for long periods of time? Potentially life? I really appreciate anyone who reads this! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm 31 years old. Thank you

Hi everyone. This isn't as much a cry for help as it is a confession. I was out to brunch, and had a drink, felt a little tipsy and then went grocery shopping. All was fine and well until I started having intrusive thoughts about POCD. At first I was mentally saying no and disagreeing, but then I kind of started to ignore it. Well I went to the bathroom, and when I was washing my hands, I had more intrusive thoughts (or I was acknowledging the OCD I was having, I don't know for sure) but then I had a groinal response. It felt like pleasure but I knew I was also having OCD AND I convinced myself I had pleasure to the intrusive thoughts about POCD. I was numb and drunk and honestly I didn't even have a reaction besides I just let it happen like I didn't say no mentally I kind of just stood there with dead eyes at the floor. I feel absolutely disgusting and I feel the need to confess to my boyfriend everything. I feel disgusting. It feels like I was having pleasure to those intrusive thoughts and I'm disgusted with myself that my brain and body would do that. The problem is- I can't remember if I was just numb and not reacting, or if I keep doing it? It happened like 2-3 times that my body had that groinal response. I don't really remember thinking about a particular intrusive thought or I know I didn't like imagine anything TO have pleasure to, but I can't ignore the what-ifs. Someone please help

Im turning 21 this year and part of me wants to drink alcohol and enjoy myself (in moderation obviously), but I cant help being afraid of accidentally getting too inebriated and losing control of myself or possibly talking about my ocd. Im not ashamed of having ocd itself, but some of my ocd themes can be classified as disturbing if not explained correctly. Not to mention my experiences are relatively personal and I want to keep between my therapist and I. Im afraid of an instance like this where I start to talk too much and people around me get the wrong idea of my values, which, in turn, might push people away from me. I know the answer is to just drink responsibly, but can anyone share any experiences they have with having a drink while being diagnosed with ocd? How have you coped? Has everything been okay?

Can anyone tell me if it’s normal for a theme to stay stuck for months. My theme is harm ocd but I’ve had this same content for months and months. I was wondering if anyone else experienced this? Also, does anyone feel like they’re always on edge like something is going to happen at any second?. I feel like my body and brain is constantly scanning for danger and throwing things at me (even random things outside of my main theme). Thank you to anyone who shares their story.

So I have a theater camp I’m going to next week and I’m so scared to go for some reason. It might be because I have social anxiety and am not the best at interacting with others. During this theater camp we have to do a play and I’m afraid I’ll have to try out for a part in front of others there. I will probably have to sing and act in front of others to. I don’t know anyone there, not a single soul so I’m afraid to meet new people and go to this camp without knowing anyone. I’m afraid people there will judge me when I have to try out for a role in the play we are doing/sing to try out for a part. I’ve been super anxious about this. Can someone give me advice plz?

so ive dealt with alot of diferent subtypes so ik this is ocd but i also know regardless what i did was wrong and weird, i feel like I deserve nothing good and i need to confess to everyone that i love and that loves me or else im lying and forcing them to love me underfalse pretences even though im a bad person. okay so confession time, starting at the age of twelve hearing my step sister and her gf have sex any time i heard anyone having sex i “ got off” to it including parents or sybling with their partners. it wasnt to the people it was to the noises but now i feel like its irredemable and wrong. and if they knew theyd feel violated the thing is ive always been a very moral person like obsessed with them so ik if i had the knowledge back then i wouldnt have done it i just didnt see anything wrong with it at the time but now of course it ruin my live

ERP has been tremendously helpful for me, but I find it difficult to plan exposures to my obsessions, given that most of my intrusive thoughts are mostly about moral or conceptual issues, so it's hard to put them into smth "actionable". Do you guys have any advice?

So last night, I was doing an open mic and trying to get out the house. Me and my girlfriend went and we were received by our peers and another fellow musicians. We recently became official and now everybody in our friend group knows that were a couple. Everything was going well and I was out there performing music. Then for a split second, I’ll look at the crowd in my girlfriend wasn’t there. I only got flooded by intrusive thoughts in the sense of “where did she go?” And “what happened to her?“ I got flooded by intrusive thoughts of like oh she might be gone and left me here. That she left and is out there with another person. It was very uncomfortable, considering that I’ve never felt this type of insecurity. so I went outside to have a cigarette to calm myself down and then she was on the phone talking to her boss. She said that on my face, I had an expression of anger, which made me feel very self-conscious cause I didn’t think I was mad. I was more of just concerned. However, my OCD made me feel like she left me. She’s probably out there with some other guy. I knew that me getting emotionally invested with another individual was gonna result and hurt. When I came back inside, I felt hot flashes, shame, and guilt and anger. For some reason, it came through my mind that you know maybe I’m not deserving of love and I’m just some regular here in the street. Afterwards, we talked about it in private and she said that I was acting slightly different and that afterwards we’re gonna be intimate, but I guess I wasn’t up for it anymore because I just felt so much anxiety and pressure on my chest. And it made her feel unwanted and now I feel pretty bad about that. Question is is this OCD attacking now my relationship? Or is this my insecurity?

I’ve had anxiety surrounding driving for 4 years now. I don’t feel like I’ll ever move past it. I am so scared that I’ll get into an accident and hurt someone or myself, even though I know I am a safe driver. I’m not sure what to do.

Ive been having such a bad episode i keep ruminating abt my relationship and how when we were abt to break up i thought my whole world was ending like i actually wanted to just stop everythjng which i know is bad so once i felt thst ive been working on spending more time w friends and becoming more independent and me and my bf r working together to fulfill our personal goals so we can have a healthier relationshipnand make things work and stopnbeing toxic. but my ocd keeps telling me if im this attached and dependent then its not real love and its all toxic snd it wont work out which i dont want at all and then i had this thought that i have to break up with him bcs its valid to if im this attached but i don't want to at all and i don't want to think that either cuz we r actually doing well. but it got in my head and now i'm so stressed out and i have this other fear that once i become independent its just an obsession with him that will turn to disgust but i don'g want that rither. can someone pls pls give me advice that will help this is stressing me out so bad

So I wrote a list of my daily stressors down and came up with over 20 individual things that stress me out on a daily basis which is insane that I didn't notice this before hand 😅🤦‍♂️ Organising is something I haven't had a whole lot of structure with my whole life as I wasn't taught it in school or by my parents. That's a reason and now I know, it can't be an excuse any more. I felt like I should've known before but it is what it is 🤷‍♂️ Does anyone have any advice on how to be better organised? I want my daily stress and anxiety levels to go down. Just to mention, I'm not an overly stressy person but it simmers under the surface and eventually gets to a boiling point weekly. I believe better organising and routines will sort out the majority of my stressors. Any input is welcome 😊