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What do you do when you feel like you’re running out of “fight”? I feel like I’m trying really hard to keep pushing through but feeling like no matter what I do my battery is on E.

Has anyone been with their partner for more than 5 years? What kind of love do you feel towards them? I have been with my bf fo 6 years! before getting with him I never labled myself and considered that when I'll find love I'll know... and when I started dating my bf its because 1) he was my best friend first 2)he was so sweet and considerate and 3) he was like perfect (met all my expectations) but I always felt like something was missing and I'm scared that it is an "ick" situation and that its the feeling gay people feel when they're in heterosexual relationship. I dont want to be with him just because he's perfect on paper and my parents love him and I got used to him, I want to be with him because I love him for him and choose him. I've always been a believer of true love and accepting yourself etc etc... and yet I feel like I'm the one who's not accepting myself? Like it feels like im in a movie or a serie and Im the closeted character who's not happy with her life and needs to come out to have a happily ever after??? and yet I feel good with my bf, he's my home and I really like touching him and being intimate with him... I'm just so lost... my therapist diagnosed me with SOOCD 4 years ago but im not so sure about that... and my bf said to me "if you only liked girls and didnt like guys, believe me I would've noticed at some point during the past 6 years". But again sometimes when people love watching a rom-com movie and project themself with the guy it feels like I cant do that..... and I used to love rom-coms between a guy and a girl but it feels like im seeking more LGBTQ+ stories now? My therapist said that it was a complusion to make myself feel better if it were ever true but I dont know... ugh anyone else going through this?

I had an intrusive thought looking at s friends haircut and thinking it looked good was that inappropriate than i leand forward against my car and it caused groinals. As a compulsion i always say no and shake my head. But i worry did thst mean i purposely leaned on the car or bcuz of the compulsion i didnt intend for it. Same with haveing intrusive thoughts than feeling like im leaning toward someone worrying was i trying to brush up on them or maybe my brain tells my body to do that because im worried obsessed about brushing up on people that it does that. It caues anxiety and distress and i always fo compulsions to trymake it go awy

hi all. I was diagnosed with ocd a few years ago. back then, I primarily struggled with HOCD and Health Anxiety fueled by obsession. I still struggle with both here and there, but I mostly was able to cope with them and don’t struggle as much anymore. I am newly in a relationship, and it is getting kinda serious. This is my first serious relationship after my short lived marriage (don’t get married at 18 for the love of god) and my marriage ended due to my spouse cheating on me, like a lot. we are about 3 months in, and for the first 3 months I did a really good job of regulating my emotions and trusting him. but I’ve hit a wall. I find myself daily obsessing over all the ways he could possibly be talking to other girls/cheating. I constantly check his snap score and when he was last active on Facebook (compulsions, yippee 🙄) even though I have never ever found even the slightest proof or information to make me believe he is doing something sneaky. It is getting to the point where I am having nightmares every night about the moment he confesses he’s been cheating, and I feel the initial shock and absolute heartbreak. This scene repeats for hours until I wake up, feeling empty and sad. I don’t want things to be this way. For myself, or him. He is a great guy and I really do see a future with him. But I have never ever dealt with this subtype before and could use some guidance on dealing with these intrusive thoughts in a productive way.

Hey everyone so the last to days I’ve been having a anxiety flare and my ocd has spiked so I was laying in bed this morning when I woke up and started thinking about how big the earth is and how the earth is round and I was thinking omg what if I got that stuck in my head and started getting dizzy and lost control. I’ve had this thought bother me before and it’s always been something that kinda terrified me about how big the earth is and how small we are. It’s impossible to control things around us and control what others do. It’s almost like I’m use to being in my little thought pattern and when something pops in and scares me I feel anxiety and panic and then I start to panic again because I’m scared of panic and losing control. I don’t know I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed the last day or two. I felt like I was making a lot of progress but my brain doesn’t want to shut off it’s always worrying and it gets so annoying between me getting things stuck in my head or feeling like I’m on the verge of panic and loosing control. Sorry I know this was a lot but I needed to vent because my brain has been boxing me in lately and it feels as if there’s no escape because something will always be causing me stress and giving me anxiety. On the bright side I know this will pass or maybe it won’t I’ll just have to except the uncertainty

I have had ocd my whole life… recently for the last year my ocd developed into harm ocd. Four years prior to meeting my husband, I was in an abusive relationship that left me with PTSD and trauma. I have had fears of hurting my husband for almost a year now. My ocd shows me images of me stabbing him or suffocating him. I have tried exposure therapy with an OCD therapist but recently she recommended that I try medication. I went to my PCP and tried Fluvoxamine with bad side effects of anxiety and paranoia (I am off of this now for at least two weeks). Now my ocd has “evolved” as I call it. I’m afraid of my husband poisoning my food, afraid of hurting my animals and the people I love and even now random strangers… all I feel everyday is fear and anxiety over doing something wrong. Today, my PCP called crisis on me as I expressed to him what I also did to my therapists (I’m transitioning to a weekly therapy instead of monthly with a new service) and I was placed in an in patient facility for a few hours before the psychiatrists discharged me. I still don’t know how to process this situation and have been on edge since returning home. I had ocd thoughts again tonight being worried about giving into the harm ocd thoughts and am now in a hotel room in order to feel safe (the OPPOSITE of what I should be doing, I know). Moral of the story is… I have gone through a lot in the past month and it has left me more broken and hurt then before I was on medication. Sorry for the novel to read but hopefully one day I will find relief.

so a favorite artist of mine, gracie abrams, dropped her album tonight and my anticipation was too high so i skipped to the song with taylor swift featuring it. and i was absolutely just ecstatic and astonished because it was so good. and i was talking to my friend about it. then he proceeds to tell me he bought me the vinyl to this album but the SIGNED ONE?? my emotions were peaking and i literally couldn’t contain my excitement. it was crazy. then as i was calming down i just felt weird being so happy and started bringing in my anxieties. i just felt like being so happy without worrying about anything else was so foreign to me because this has been my life constantly for a year now. like me being that happy can cause me panic because i know something is going to happen and i will be down again

I was worried today that I might oversleep and forget to let my friends' dog out in the morning to use the bathroom. My therapist said "What's the worst that could happen?" I told her the worst would be that the dog uses the bathroom inside and I'd clean it up, which I know wouldn't be bad. My therapist then said "You'd even get some extra sleep if you did sleep in". I'm a bit confused though, because I don't want to ACTUALLY sleep in and let the dog out late. And then I think about other intrusive thoughts like "What if you threw your wallet away?" or "What if you smeared soap all over your TV?" or "What if I left the stove on?" Or "What if you leave the gas on?" I don't want these thoughts to actually become real. I thought we treated all intrusive thoughts the same, as ego dystonic, not representing us. Not to make them real. I was thrown off by my therapist saying "the worst that could happen is the dog uses the bathroom and you'd get some extra sleep". Just a bit confused. I guess you could kind of compare this to "What if I'm late for work?". Like yeah, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I was late, and I would get some extra sleep, but I don't want to intentionally make myself late for work.

Having an awful night

a few months ago, i discovered all the porn my partner had liked on twitter. it was around like 900+ posts. thankfully, he stopped watching as soon as i told him how much it hurt me, but i still couldn’t shake off the feeling. it hurt me so much because i ended up comparing myself to all these women, who looked nothing like me. it really brought my self-confidence down. especially whenever we were out in public, i couldn’t help but think that he was thinking lustful thoughts about every women we’d encounter. eventually, we navigated through our feelings, & i worked on gaining back my self-confidence & feeling worthy again. however, certain things still trigger me to feel that same “hurt” again. i no longer compare myself to others, but i still get triggered & feel like my partner still has eyes on other women. it’s draining. whenever he mentions other girls, i feel so enraged. & i get mad at him, but i end up feeling so bad because i know he didn’t have true bad intentions. this makes me feel so sad because before i discovered all the porn, i never ever felt this way. i want to get better for myself, & for my partner.

Tonight was the worst night I have had in a long time. I'm so tired of frustrations that I almost don't care what it takes to stop feeling this way. Tonight these two kittens and their mom were trapped so that they could go to a foster setting. I was told by the trapper ahead of time that they didn't need any help, except that they did. They came by in the morning to trap the cat and kittens, but the cats were bedded down, so that plan didn't work. In the meantime however, I wasn't able to get work done because the trapper needed me to call the cat and shake the food bag. I really didn't want to be involved because I don't want the cats associating me with this memory, even though I won't see them again. But I'll agree to helping because I know it's for the cats own good. Finally after a couple hours they give up and say they'll be back around 5. OK, no problem. I already told them I was going on site for work later, so I'm not to worried because I probably won't be back home by 5. I get into work even later than I planned because of the way this disrupted my day, and the extra time it takes me just to prepare to go in, due to ocd stuff. I also told the trapper I had a telehealth appointment for my talk therapy between 5 and 6, so I won't be available, but after my appintment I find that the missed called that occurred was from them. They also sent a text saying that they were coming at 6 instead. Well, it's 6 when I got the call, and I'm still an hour and 25 minutes away taking my therapy call in my car at work. So I sent a text back and said, no problem and that I'm not home yet. Now, with the interruptions this morning, and rushing to go to work, I realized on my drive in that the only nurishment that I've had at this point is a pint of chocolate milk. I figure I'll get something when I get to work, except everything is picked over. So, maybe I'll grab some food when I go for my call at 5, which was only about an hour and a half wait at that point. I take my call, and afterwards, I decide I'm just going to head home and eat there, because it's already 6 o'clock. On the way home, another text. Trapper say they aren't there yet, but they are going to be there at 7:30. I reply ok, I'll probably be getting home around that time anyway. I get home and I don't get to go inside to eat or relax because the trapper needs my help again. We caught the mom and her 2 babies, and the whole process sent my anxiety through the roof. I was happy that the cats were going to have a better life, but I felt horrible about trapping them and I just wanted to put my clothes in the hamper and take a shower. There is a second mom that has one kitten, so we were also trying to trap them. The whole time my stomach is growling, but now I need a shower before I can sit down to eat. At 9:15 the trapper say she is going to call it a night and get the trapped cat/kittens where they're going, and settled. She asks me to keep an eye on the trap so that we can still try to catch the other mom and kitten. NO FRUCKELING WAY! I mean, I'll tell you whatever you need to hear, but as soon as you drive off, I'm triggering the trap and going inside for a shower. Normally I would be heading to the grocery store around 10pm, when it's quiet, but guess the grocery store isn't going to happen tonight. So, ok, one foot in front of the other. First thing, let's wash my hands. Dang it, my hand hit the faucet. Ok, more soap and wash again. Dang it, it happened again. This must have happened about 9 times in a row. Well almost in a row. I stopped two or three times to shout a string of profanity that could be heard 2 miles away. Now I have gotten my shower, but I still need to get my laptop out of my car, I need to wash my cell phone and my credit cards that were in my pocket. I'm just so fricking tired of ocd and I want to stop feeling this way. I hate this, and I hate getting caught in situation like tonight, where someone else's poor planning affects the plans I laid out, which are frigging essential for me to be able to function at all. I'm just tired and the progress I've made in getting away from these feelings, feels like it translates to a enormous risk when those feelings spring back with a crap ton of potential energy. I hate this life that ocd has made for me.

Has anyone struggled with OCD about Faith and Repentance? Like I have heard so many sermons on either side, one saying that you need to repent to be saved, and the other side saying that repentance is a work, and this has spun me out on my OCD, because I was like, “Either I believe and teach that Repentance isn’t necessary for salvation, or I go to hell for believing in a works gospel. If I am believing salvation is just by trusting Christ alone and no repentance is needed, many say that is a watered-down gospel sending people to hell.” I was just curious if anyone has struggled with this or has any answers that could help. Some people are afraid they don't have enough works to prove their faith, but I am worried that I am relying on works even the slightest to prove my faith and that I am trying to work my way to heaven by even subconsciously thinking my works are contributing somehow to my salvation because they prove my salvation is real. This has been a real struggle for me and I would appreciate any help.

Im having such a hard time trying to figure out if l'm bi or lesbian while IN a relationship with my boyfriend l'm so confused someone please give me some perspective I'm desperate to just feel okay in my relationship again without feeling guilty or confused about if I'm truly attracted to my partner or men in general. l'm questioning everything.

TLDR: I’m about to start a competitive medical school program, and need advice for how to navigate panic attacks during ERP, since starting this fall I literally won’t have time to deal with panic attacks during classes and clinicals. I’m going through a bad flare up with OCD, and I also deal with a panic disorder on top of that, and my OCD lovessss my panic disorder lol. Short background; This is my third time dealing with it heavily. My first time I was in middle school. My second time was a bit over a year ago, my first semester in college. It took over my life, and my grades were bad during that time because of it. I learned how to properly use ERP, and actually recovered very well. Unfortunately, at the beginning of spring semester in college this year, I started dealing with intrusive thoughts and OCD again, and had gotten so comfortable not having to use ERP, I let the anxiety take over and developed another OCD spiral. It wasn’t “that bad” at first, but because I neglected ERP and kept doing compulsions, it’s gotten pretty rough. Yesterday I had my first panic attack in a long time, as I was doing ERP and having 10/10 anxiety. Im trying to approach this realistically; since I’ve been doing compulsions for a good while, recovery will also take a while, and if there’s one thing I know, is that it’ll get worse before it gets better. Classes start in a little over a month for me, and I will NOT let OCD take over my life and ruin my grades like it has before. Does anyone have advice for navigating a busy lifestyle while also prioritizing ERP? And any advice for as peacefully as possible going through panic attacks during ERP?

SO-OCD sufferer here. Here’s the thing I’m struggling with. I am gay (m) and have never been interested in having sex with a woman (my ocd would say otherwise). I used to be able to be around women in revealing clothing and would think nothing of it. Suddenly I’m super triggered by any kind of low cut t shirt, or really anything that shows a little cleavage, skin, curve, etc. I get visibly uncomfortable around women in anything even sort of revealing. At work I get scared of staring at their chest, then get scared because if I feel an urge to look at their chest then I worry about why I’d even be paying attention to that area if I really am gay. Growing up all of my closest friends were girls and I’ve always seen women as being my friends and nothing more, I HATE that I get these intrusive sexual thoughts and feelings, and I’m so scared that its all real and I’m just pretending to be gay to be “different” or just for attention or something. Anyways if there are any other gay dudes experiencing this I’d like to hear your thoughts and experiences. I’ve never met another gay guy that goes through this and just wanna feel less alone in it

Hello everyone, My therapist cannot diagnose officially, but I want to look into next steps regarding getting an official diagnosis and how to go about that. My husband keeps pushing me to get diagnosed, but I keep getting locked into a thought spiral - telling my therapist would mean telling them about my behaviors, which could lead to judgement or them thinking I’m overreacting; getting referred to someone that can diagnose means calling and getting a primary care physician, which means calling and figuring out what to say, which means sitting in a doctor’s office with sick people, which means bringing up things to a doctor, etc., etc…I just keep psyching myself out. I’ve denied having anything wrong, but have noticed my symptoms are getting worse. How did you go about those first steps, and what was it like? Thank you so much in advance.

So today was pretty tough it feels like my OCD is in full swing. Last night I drank a few beers and was wondering if anyone else had really bad ocd flare ups after drinking the night before. There’s also other factors I’m sure worth it being 99% outside and my first day back to work in awhile have affected it to

i know alot of other people experience this but i’m just so worried that i’m not attracted to my partner anymore like i remember when i was with them before i felt like turned on or whatever and really attracted and for the past 2 weeks it’s been a lot less intense and i don’t know why, i think it could be because I’ve been EXTREMELY stressed lately and my period started yesterday so im not sure but im scared

One last kitten video to share before they move on to their new foster home with even more treats, toys, abd friends. https://video.nest.com/clip/2f15d90d4d2448baa018a1f4c49c23ad.mp4

Video games. I'm losing my enjoyment over them. I either get annoyed at a game, angry that I'm losing because I just can't help but take it personally I guess, or just flat out bored with games I'm not really used to. They just aren't what they used to be. Idk if it's because of OCD or depression or anxiety or whatever, I just no longer enjoy them. No matter what I do, a competitive game just puts me in a bad mood even if I'm trying my absolute best to not take it personally. It just happens.