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Relationships are so difficult, even without OCD, and yet some people make it look so easy, it hurts. It’s never been easy for me, and it makes me feel like I’m just not meant for love. I found someone that I liked, that I felt initially drawn to, but when you stop admiring someone from a distance and start putting in the work it becomes tough. I was quickly met with things that I thought were “weird” or “cringy” or “annoying” and I started obsessing and it scared and stressed me so much, because I finally found someone that I actually wanted to be with, but my preoccupation and obsession over his flaws made we worried that it wasn’t right and that it would be taken away from me…by myself! I felt like there were two parts of me fighting inside, and I wanted it to stop. We’re now dating but I’m still obsessed and worried all the time by the flaws that bug me so much. I keep feeling that if they bug me this much it means I don’t like him, and I’m trying to learn to accept them and live him unconditionally, but it’s difficult. One thing that has been kind of comforting to me in a way is knowing that there are people who are married on here who struggle with ROCD. It’s not that I’m happy that they’re struggling, but it gives me hope that even through the struggle I can choose love. It’s also comforting because I’m only 19 and it’s nice to know that there are older and wiser people that I can look up to who are struggling just like me.

Hello, nice to be here and meet you all. I have had contamination ocd since I was a young girl. I am 45. It has gotten so much worse since I had children and lost my dear mother. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it and I am desperately searching for help and for community. Thank you for any support. I want to enjoy life again without all this worry, guilt, doubt, and shame. I would like to be free.

I remember something that I've done when I was 19 years old when it comes to OCD. I tried to help someone with their OCD but they were underaged. I don't know why I decided to agree in doing this. I guess I just wanted to be nice or I had trouble saying no. I just don't know. But for the most part I've been trying to help this person with their OCD and I think it has helped them but in the mix of things I brought up really touchy, inappropriate topics that related to my OCD one way or another and it was in no way of trying to get with this person. I told this person that I wasn't exactly comfortable talking with a minor and after a while I told them straight up I didn't want to continue talking because of this. I looked through messages and I saw things that spiked my anxiety but I with read the entirety of those messages. This person suffered from POCD as I did and I just wanted to help them but I feel like I've slipped up here and there and I've said something irredeemable and wrong to this person. I can't do this. I feel like my life is over. I can't calm down. I can't stay still. I hadn't thought about this for years until I saw a video about a middle aged man talking to a minor. I can't do this anymore. I'm losing it. I'm spiraling and I don't think I can calm down. POCD is my biggest fear and this feels like a nightmare I badly want to wake up out of. But it's real, it happened, and I'm so scared and mad at myself. I HATE THAT I'VE DONE THIS. I HATE THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED AND I FEEL LIKE I'M A DISGUSTING PERSON. I'm so sorry. I just can't bring myself together. I can't do this. I was doing so well until I remembered this and I feel like my life is over. It feels like I've failed all of my friends and my family. It feels like I've ruined my life.

To say the last few days have been rough would be an understatement. There are things on my mind that has genuinely driven me insane, and I don’t know how to deal properly. Idk how to deal with having such thoughts and/or the feelings that come with them. It feels like it’s gone way too far and all I wanna do is wipe my mind clean and just restart my life but I can’t. I’ve spent the last few days feeling like I have to accept something horrible about myself, and at times it still feels like I should. It feels so much easier to just accept my fate as some fucked up child predator than to just say it’s ocd cause that’s just too..easy and simple. It’s hard to make sense that it’s OCD cause of everything in me that’s telling me otherwise. I keep repeating how much I don’t want these things but I don’t feel that reassured and at times it just feels like I’m lying, leaving me not knowing if I really want these things. I can never just NOT think and I hate it. Anyways, I know a lot of you deal with the same things as I do (i guess) and have been here to help me and calm me down and it’s appreciated. But I am sorry that you all have to see how bad it gets. Really hoping the next few days will be easier.

I don't want to be a pedophile. I don't want to hurt minors in any way. I only tried to help this person with their OCD and nothing more. I looked through the messages and I've been nothing but helpful to this person but I let them know what made me uncomfortable and things I wouldn't do. I knew better. I knew what to do and not to do, but I still feel wrong about this. At the same time, I don't think it would be wrong if a therapist helped an underaged person with intrusive thoughts that were sexual in nature. I don't know. I just don't want to be a bad person. I haven't had a spike in anxiety like this in a long time. It hurts. It sucks. I don't know what to do right now.

So apparently there were allegations against a very popular streamer that claimed he messaged a minor in DMs. This turned out to be true and he wasn't put on criminal charges. I still think it's very odd that a middle aged man would be privately messaging a teenager either way. This reminded me of a time where I was 19 and spoke with someone to help them with their OCD but they were underaged. I don't even remember why I said yes to talk with them, how we met, or why this happened in the first place, but it's bothering me extremely now. I know for a fact nothing inappropriate was said at all and I've even made it clear several times that POCD made me not want to really talk with this person. Again, I don't know how we eventually started talking, but we did. We don't anymore and it's been years. I do hope this person is doing okay and has improved with their OCD, but this still bothers me. I just don't know why we ended up speaking. Is this a legit worry or is anxiety just getting the best of me again?

I've been with my husband for 9 years. I've had ocd intrusive thoughts about him being unfaithful or masturbating to pornography or unfaithful things like that. But never did I want a divorce. Back in January of this year my husband said he wanted a divorce, so my children and I left to families house because we had no where to stay. I ended up getting a job, and during this time apart from my husband I nearly, if not completely, forgot what most of my ocd intrusive thoughts were when I was with him. I felt good about myself, refreshed, and knew I could make it without him. Fast forward he ended up wanting to talk and here we are trying again being married and a family. Now that I'm back, the thoughts and feelings are back! I feel miserable with him. I feel anger, resentment, I can't seem to heal when I'm woth him. I don't want to regret getting back with him but it's almost like I do. I'm starting to believe that not only enjoy but LOVE being alone. I actually love the feeling and my life when I'm alone.

What is a good way to express to my husband that it's not helpful for him to say, make sure you stay committed to the process, when I've only just begun. I just got my diagnosis yesterday and actively fought a compulsion today. I confided in him that I'm in a guilt loop because of it, but that I'm aware and fighting on. That's when he said, "just make sure you stick to this because I can't do many more cycles of this." He's a big, just do it and get it done guy and I'm trying to convey to him that inches to him mean miles for me.

ive realized throughout my entire life ive had ocd symptoms. all of my fixative rituals, things like my fear of upsetting anyone ever, always keeping internet tabs open, missing and obsessing over the same people after they left my life and never being able to feel closure, my recursive fear of everyone i love betraying me, the paranoia i have about my girlfriend, every single thing i've experienced was a result of obsessive thought patterns and rumination. i don't understand how i never hit the nail on the head earlier. i really hope this means i can finally find a way out. i'm tired of my periods of being better just being management, of never truly feeling safe, of obsessing over people who hurt me and their words. i'm tired of being haunted by ghosts and obsessing over everything that reminds me of them. i want to be able to take my phone off do not disturb. i want to love my girlfriend without being afraid. i want to feel safe around my friends. i want to not have to be obsessed with something to survive. i hope that figuring this out means there's a new path for me. i hope i can learn not to focus on my fears and doubts. i can't remember a time where i wasn't haunted by them.

I was doing so good the last few months. I was beginning to be social again, hang out with friends, watch tv and listen to music, and suddenly it feels like I’m back in square one. I watched a triggering TikTok, I turned 29 recently, I got drunk, and feel like I’m going through a flare. I’ve been here before, but it’s so scary when you’re in the thick of it. I don’t want to be bisexual or a lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with it, I have queer friends and they’re amazing. It’s just not what I want. OCD makes me feel like I’m in denial or that I’m lying to myself. I will get through this. It’s just so hard, the doom feeling of what if I have to rely on my family and never find a career or get married because of this.

Oof I’m having a hard time right now. I have a ton of OCD themes, but after 2021, my perfectionism OCD became atrocious. I got married in November 2021 and while the day was amazing, my wedding photos are honestly less stunning than I hoped. There aren’t many bridal photos of me and many are poorly lit or weirdly posed. I had gained weight over COVID and that didn’t help. The reason I started on this app is because from 2021 until summer 2023, I could not stop spending hours going through my wedding photos and other wedding photos comparing. I couldn’t stop putting my wedding photos on Reddit and asking if they were really that bad. I couldn’t stop googling what to do if you hate your wedding photos. My mood plummeted and I actually was contemplating ending my life over wedding photos. Fast forward to this year, NOCD has helped me so much. But this past weekend, my sister got married. We’ve already seen a sneak peek of her photos and they’re perfectly stunning. Like strangers are messaging me on IG to say she’s the most stunning bride they’ve ever seen. I held out my OCD for a few days and just felt happy for her, but last night my OCD and I had a complete meltdown. My OCD keeps saying “well if she could be the perfect bride, why couldn’t you?” “You failed this milestone, just like all the others.” “Maybe you missed something about your pics that actually isn’t that bad - you should look again.” “You should look up options to get your photos retaken - wait don’t because then you’ll have to admit something about your wedding was sub par.” I’m trying SO HARD to stop looking at pics and going on Reddit today, but it’s been the most hard it’s been for a year or more. I feel terrible that I’m not just celebrating my sister’s success. I feel guilty that im letting my OCD win. I know I shouldn’t seek reassurance. I could just use some general uplifting today. And maybe - did anybody else regret having a wedding because it was just something your OCD could latch onto forever? I wish we’d eloped, at this point.

Last year, I lost my dad. I completely lost it and had to be put on antipsychotics and depression meds. I’m currently on Vraylar which is supposed to help with most of my diagnoses including OCD (according to my doc). She’s been trying to get me into CBT and read a 70 dollar book (my adhd makes it hard to focus so I struggle with reading); it’s not a favorite past time of mine because of that and my dyslexia. I’ve lost my ability to drive unless my wife is with me (she’s my safe person) and same goes for leaving the house. I can’t make myself drive or leave the house without a support human. My doc says CBT therapy will help but I’m so nervous that I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I rarely drove before my dad died but I did drive and since his passing, I can’t bring myself to do it. I get so many intrusive thoughts that I’m going to kill myself or others by driving. I’ve been in 3 accidents alone in my suv and so it’s not like I shouldn’t be worried (only one accident was my fault due to not checking my blind spot for reference). I’m an extremely careful driver but I think of all the worst ways it could go bad. Has anyone else dealt with this and has CBT helped? Are you driving or doing the things you used to be able to do again? If so, how did you do it? I’m at a loss here and my wife keeps pushing me to drive but I can’t force myself to do it. I get to the front door and I can’t leave the house even with keys in hand. Sorry for the novel but this is what I’ve been dealing with for the last almost year or so.

Does anyone struggle with intense trich or have any recommendations to help?

this is gna sound like a reddit post… when i went to the psychiatrist and was told i have OCD, i was like “whatt no 😅😅” and then i went home, told my parents, and they said “yeah obviously.” so let me get this straight you let me suffer… wash my hands till my knuckles cracked, starve myself because i thought food was poison, avoid physical touch (and still have that boundary be crossed by family) because it felt dirty, NEED I GO ON??? and you just did nothing???? no intervention, no push for therapy or treatment, nothing. i had to BEG to get therapy when i was 15 because i couldn’t function as a human being with the amount of anxiety i was feeling (i didnt get diagnosed with OCD till 18) is it selfish of me to wish they had intervened?? they told me they saw the signs. they kept track of how many times i washed my hands a day, they let people know i dont like being touched… so why did i never get treatment idk im probably being dramatic

I can feel that an obsession with a false memory is in the beginning phases. I really want to nip it in the bud before I get carried away and spiral into a full blown obsession. Here are some ways that I was considering: - NOT posting on Reddit or NOCD about the memory, or seeking ANY reassurance. - NOT telling my partner or anyone else about it. - Going on with life as normal, as if it doesn’t exist. Does anyone else have any tips? I need to stop it before it blows up.

My rocd has been going on for almost 6 months now. I always have something new to worry/ruminate about every day whether it’s an old mistake my partner made or something new he said that triggered rumination, also some things I feel I need to confess. It isn’t just “sometimes” where it happens where I let it all out to my partner, it’s every single day we message/call I’m seeking reassurance from him or asking him 10000 questions, a lot of what I’ve already asked 10 times in the past and it ruins his mood. I have noticed I feel drained every day and some days numb/not much emotion with my partner? ( only since I’ve been having rocd spiral) I love him and he is perfect for me is it possibly just because of the amount of stress in dealing with is absolutely tiring me? He also said he is a bit less excited to call/message because of how I instantly seek reassurance and ask questions every single day for hours and it’s never a normal fun call. He said he knows he will get better if I get better and learn not to reassurance seek. He has been trying to find ways to cope with the stress like constantly gaming. Anyone else been in this situation where both sides feel drained/ a bit less happy? Does the happiness return once the person with ocd is learning to improve? Is it understandable that he is stressed/less exited to call?

OK, hear me out. I know OCD -> Obessions -> Compulsions -> Relieve anxiety -> Repeat. I say Pink Elephant. You automatically think of a Pink Elephant. 🐘 Because you're reading it, I've more or less placed it in your head. (Sorry!) But the bit I don't get are the hyperthetical thoughts. How the brain creates them. Why it creates them? Example: So you could be looking out the bus window on your way to work and get the thought of a Pink Elephant trampling you to death. Random. But wait. Nobody mentioned a Pink Elephant. There was absolutely no reference. How does the brain invent such an mage? Why does it invent this image? You see what I'm saying?

A couple years ago, I got my first DBS check done and I started worrying about whether or not it would show up as me being a criminal, I was struggling to function and eat while I waited in anticipation to find out the answer. During this time my brain brought up real and false memories that my brain used to convince me it wouldn’t be clear. Finally I got the result back and it was all fine. After this happened my brain came up with “What if when I turn 18 everything changes and I am actually a criminal” and I haven’t worried about it in a few months but recently I have been offered a job and I need another DBS check done and the uncertainty is killing me. I feel so anxious and can barely move. These memories/false memories and thoughts have come back again, just as strong as they were last time. I don’t know what to do and I feel like crying. I hate not knowing and I fear I won’t be able to continue with my life until I have the answer. I feel so guilty and like I don’t deserve anything good in life. What can I do?

Can we talk about maladaptive daydreaming. I don't know or not sure if it's a part of OCD of some kind and it's symptom but like in my head I feel like talking to and giving speech infront of a particular group of people, I am associated with right now at the particular point of time like my classmates, seniors and juniors and teachers like I am trying to put an impression to them. It happens so sneakily or subltly sometimes, I don't even recognise doing it. It prompts me to even talk and make hand movements. The group of people changes as I move and associate with a new group of people. I also feel like talking to large group of people like as if I am giving some motivational speech. It has gotten into me to where I feel like I am just telling others what helped me whenever I feel like I felt little good. I earlier used to sometimes study like a teacher teaching someone. As a kid imagined students and also acted like teachers getting offended if a student does something really naughty, not paying attention so I would tell them not to do so. And as I grew up, I used to study the same way walking aroud the house. I felt there's a lot more between the lines trying to understand a concept and like giving a speech which might have helped me but it became so much that whenever I take the book to study without my knowledge, I would get on talking like that for hours and hours and that's how, time went and I couldn't cover even one page sometimes. I don't know how I managed to give my exams like that. But from that, it started the process of never having my syllabus completed and having a hard time reading a book and enjoying completing it. If I start reading then also I have the pressure of completing it, for which I wouldn't enjoy reading the book with the pressure. Earlier when I was fine I could read without fears or anxiety, enjoying the process not thinking if I could finish it and I completed also. For years, I haven't been able to complete a book, a huge book like novels or anything just short stories somehow I read and I took literature and I actually want to read like I loved books, reading books and I love literature. I want to, I literally want to, read a lot and it makes me so sad to feel it, that I cannot as fast as I could because I repeat phrases over and over again and it distresses. The reading experience doesn't become as I think, it becomes distressing, not going smoothly, you just want to leave reading early or you become hyperactive also very much distracted and aware of your surroundings. But meanwhile I am doing small sessions of reading like a few pages or less than that. I am trying. Had pretty much good experience in between too after struggle and my mind constantly saying something or the other. "You should do it this way or that way" like the right way of doing it and wandering in betweens to think. It would be nice if we discuss about it or I get some responses

I can't tell the difference between a normal thought and a intrusive thought .....what this mean