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I have suicidal ocd and fear of depression. Lately I have really been trying to accept these thoughts and they are terrifying. Is this what OCD recovery feels like. Does the panic and fear and feeling like out of control go up when you’re trying to accept something so hard.? Anyone else like this? Do you feel out of control when acknowledging your feelings. Like the past two days I have really been thinking on my feelings and talking them in my brain but my panic is so out of control and my stomach hurts and I feel shaky and scared of my self. Anyone else!?!!

Having ocd can either make life difficult or painful or both depending on the theme(s). For me it’s painful. My ocd latches onto my children. I have very upsetting harm and pocd intrusive thoughts. Sometimes it’s easy to shrug them off but other times the ocd makes it seem likes it’s me thinking these things and it feels so real and it has me so depressed. I never used to see any parents posting about this but recently there have been a few. I know it’s really hard to talk about but sharing can help us all feel less alone and more supported. I’m grateful to anyone that offers support because I feel so defeated lately. 😞

Hi all, recently became stuck on the idea of my wife and I splitting up, and the impact on our dynamic and our child. We have a very healthy relationship, and have been together over a decade. I love her completely and am typically a golden retriever type partner. She's everything to me and then some, which is why these thoughts are so distressing. I've never done therapy, and recently tried antidepressants which spiked my anxiety through the roof so I stopped. I've been dealing with with this for about 3 months. In my constant googling I came across Pure O and ROCD, and based on all I've read seems to align with my experience. This may be reassurance seeking, but would love to celebrate success stories of others who have been able to overcome the intrusive thoughts and find peace. This feels like such a lonely subtype because I can't fully share with and lean on my best friend who I'm used to telling everything to. I'm also not used to needing support. I'm usually the supporter.

I'm truly doing my best to let these thoughts exist and to not engage with them, but it's so hard because the lingering feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety are still there. does anyone have any tips on how to combat this? any encouraging advice?

my parents don’t understand that a seemingly small and snide comment about my body will ruminate in my brain for months and months and be a never ending source of why i hate myself more and more everyday. I don’t know how to get them to understand as they are not in my shoes. I am overweight, not morbidly obese but I struggle to find the will to work out and improve myself, but i know this isn’t the motivation i need.

I’m really just over it today. It’s my first bad day in a long time. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. How do you get through the bad days?

What has worked for you guys?

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Is it ocd or is it denial I don't get what ifs and I wasn't diagnosed with ocd I went to the pych twice and part me just doesn't want to be tru that I'm might be a p and using ocd just for me not to believe it. Im going to go again and if they say I am a p I'm going to end it because that's a scary thought and I'm also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend he is 6 years younger then me and I'm 27 and he's 21 I met him when he was 19 turning 20 and I was 25 turning 26. I'm tired and I don't want sympathy I just needed to type this out it's been getting on my nerves a lot and I think everyday of breaking up with him fear of judgement. He does act very immature I don't know what do with my life myself and the people around me and making friends is not my cup of tea everytime im around new people I feel like I'm hiding a big secret and I don't want to get close to anyone and just makes me feel bitter because people just be normal and not have these intrusive thoughts pop up and lm like why me why why me. And I just push everyone away I can't stand myself either I'm fat and eating is what really what makes me happy no one knows what I go through and I can't talk about it I'm afraid of getting shunned or that I won't get better and actually seek help that I know I need I've feel like I have no control over my life I'm 27 no job I don't have my own place my sisters are doing better then me I probably sound selfish I want to get better and it if is just ocd it would be a sigh of relief and I can work through my issues. I have more I want to say but this part of my truth

I watched a utube video by an ocd expert and he said that on 9-11 he had patients come in and talk to him about their themes and they seemed barely concerned about what was happening. I have noticed this in myself and feel so bad and selfish when I am sooo focused on my own fears that I am not really connecting to loved ones and their needs like I used to. I know it's not how I used to be and I hate it

How do you go about your life when ERP therapy is so stressful. I have harm ocd and by making me watch horror movies etc . is just making it worse. I'm really worried I'm being brainwashed into being what I dont want to be . Does this mean ERP is not for me? I also have no compulsions just pure O .

I don't know if anyone else has a similar problem, but I think one of my themes is worrying how others might perceived me. For context, I used to be very shy and sometimes don't have good control over facial expressions. This leads a lot of people to believe me being hostile to them, even though I don't mean to be. Now, I moved a different city and am meeting a lot of new people. And this makes me really worried of leaving bad (first) impressions.

How do you get back to cuddling, hugging on, and loving your babies? Please only positive things here. I used to be able to hold, love on, cuddle, hug my babies and loved it!! Now it’s so hard. I’m praying and believe God will get me through this. My babies need affection and love right now. I have seen a NOCD counselor and will possibly start again soon. What worked for you? This not only hurts us. It’s hurts our little ones, I believe!

Hello!! does anyone have any tips on how to stop prayer ocd, I have to pray for forgiveness every time a bad thought, or word pops up in my head, and sometimes my ocd tells me I say it but idk if that’s true or not. Ive had this ocd theme for quite a long time and I want to stop it

Been really worried about this lately. Having a huge identity crisis and worried that i’m just a shell and what if I just take the identities of people around me? I’m scared

Ocd is just so exhausting.. i ahte myself and im just so disgusted by the way i am .

Hi, everyone! My family has just moved from California to Connecticut, and I'm not doing very well. Late last year, at the age of 19, I realized that I have OCD. Finally being able to put a name to all of the thoughts, compulsions, and images that I've dealt with all my life has been a game changer, and for some years, I've had a routine involving exercise and meditation that really helped to mollify what I now know to be symptoms. However, since the move, I'm having a lot of trouble finding relief. I've been feeling really depressed and sick, and being in an unfamiliar house and neighborhood has me feeling very lost and confused. I'm trying to be strong for my loved ones, since it's been difficult for all of us, and they're all very happy with the new place - and I do really love the house, too - but it just isn't home, and everything is so different. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you! <3

Currently obsessing over me being the only “real” or conscious person in the world, and that everyone I love isn’t actually real. I know deep down that this is ocd, but I feel like by not ruminating I’m just ignoring the fear (which feels so real and scary). Has anyone experienced anything similar and how did you get out of this worry? Trying not to seek reassurance as it’s one of my compulsions, but I’m very distressed.

a little bit about me, i have dealt with mental health issues for my whole life. i went undiagnosed for many years, being because my family (at the time) didn’t believe in mental illness, it was believed that everything could be fixed with a little “talk with Jesus” that being said, for as long as i can remember i have had the intrusive thoughts, the obsessive thoughts. i can remember being a little kid trying to pray to god and my mind would be telling me over and over again that i hated god, that i loved the devil, that i wanted to go to hell. i also believed that if i didn’t pray for every single family member that they would die. i still to this day have trouble sleeping because im convinced that the rapture will happen, and i will be left behind. well as the years have progressed, these intrusive thoughts and obsessions have become worse, resulting in me thinking about harming myself and others when i have no intentions to do so. i also have been struggling with and obsessing over people dying, and mourning people that are still alive and well.

recently i’ve been really struggling with agoraphobia. i’ve never really struggled with it before and it’s awful. one of my favorite things ever is going to concerts. i haven’t been to one in a few months and i have a few coming up but instead of being happy about them i’m more anxious than anything. back in may i had the stomach bug and got sick in public (i have terrible emetophobia) and ever since then my anxiety has been AWFUL. every time i’m in public (stores, restaurants, etc) all i can think about it what to do if i start feeling sick or if i’m going have a panic attack. it’s been hell. some days are better than others but it’s greatly affecting my day to day life. and i don’t want to let it take away from one of my favorite things to do. does anyone have any tips? thank you :)