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I'm scared because I keep remembering a memory of something I did when I was 3 while next to my sibling who was 1 at that time and now I'm scared I a*used her and that I'm an abusive, bad, evil POS! (I don't feel comfy sharing all the details, but I was a chronic m*sturba**r as a small child and I find that to be "sexually deviant" behavior because that's what I was taught being Catholic. However, I have a child development background and know some kids just "do this" and it doesn't always signify that you were a victim of CSA/you're an abuser or bound to become one... any advice on how to deal with this damn thought....

Hey everyone I just wanted to come on here and spread some encouraging words about some years ago I started showing some symptoms of ocd I still do today things have been very hard they seem to get better then go back to the same ole it can get rough you may feel like giving up, feel unheard, feel like no one can help you but I promise there is help give your life to god and he can heal you in ways no other can just fully trust and believe in him things will get better it’s only a matter of time trust I’ve suffered some of the hardest times this one really tragic event happen my intrusive thoughts were through the roof I was so scared I couldn’t eat, drink, shower, be on my phone or anything this lasted for a while I had to force myself to shower and eat but I still couldn’t during I contacted my aunt that’s a therapist she gave me some techniques to work through and redirect those thoughts it seemed to work for a little minute like 15 minutes maybe but I let those thoughts weigh me down again all the anxiety, panic attacks, depression, fear, worrying still to this day I can catch myself this way including intrusive thoughts that don’t seem to give me a break, constant fear and worrying, anxiety and the list goes on but I’m trusting and putting my faith in the lord that there will be a change talk to him guys also try a therapist here on this earth he placed professional people to talk to on this earth for reasons like this there’s been times where I’ve hated myself I wanted to give up I wanted god to take me off this earth even begged him at times feeling like my mom or no one really understood me thinking am I crazy is there something wrong no there’s nothing wrong, it would be like why am I having these thoughts this isn’t me please take them away and it just didn’t seem to get better but there is hope guys I am a living witness & so are many others this path can be rough but don’t you give up you may feel as if god doesn’t hear you but he does he does everything in the right timing 🙏🏽!! I love you all & god’s got you don’t beat yourself up! Psalms 23 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. A great gospel song hhpg- Yahweh- George alao, simmidele Tobi walker. Also guys look up Bible scriptures that relate to what your going through they will help God loves you all he’s a forgiving god!!!

My heart is hardened towards God. I don’t feel bad for anything anymore. I feel dissociated from myself. My physical body is here but I am not TRULY here. I don’t care about my soul anymore because i just don’t want to worry and be anxious. Am i in the wrong for this?

One of my biggest fears of speaking out about my mental issues and depression is for my psychiatrist to send me to one of those teen or young adult facilities like the bad ones. Even though I’m 18!! Any tips I can over come this fear? Cause I want help but I’m scared of having to be sent away…

I am starting medication and it is stressing me out. My parents are very against putting me on medication bc they are worried about the potential side effects. My dad told my mum it is up to her whether or not to do it and my mum is very worried but said fine as i was pushing for it. I am scared that if those side effects do happen my mum will blame herself and my dad will hate her. I am so upset bc i love my mum so much and do not want to do this to her but i feel i want to try this.

I hate sitting in my room with only me and my thoughts. I have lost my faith in the lord and can’t seem to get on with my life. I’m so stuck on everything and can’t seem to get better. I keep self harming and get to the point to where I see the second layer of my skin. It gets worse and worse each time I have suicidal thoughts. One of these days it’ll get so bad that well you can probably guess what I may do. I have been abused physically mentally and sexually in my past and it haunts me every single day of my life. Any time I try to talk to someone about my mental health they tell me I’m a waste of their time or that I need to talk to someone other than them. But all that does is make me keep it all bottled up and I can’t take it anymore. They say mental abuse is worse than physical and I can see why they say that. I just want a normal life so I don’t have to be depressed 24/7. It ruins my social life and it makes me loose my friends and family because of how distant I am. I just need help and please give me advice. Also sorry I’m not very good at explaining things.

I am really scared of being a narcissist.. I’ve been in therapy and I feel like my therapist isn’t taking it seriously:( like if I am a narcissist I want to work on it I’m just really scared of harming people.. including my partner:( I don’t want be the reason he needs therapy and I don’t want to ruin his life. I’m scared I’m manipulating him somehow to want to be with me and I just don’t know what to do. I NEED to get this fixed before our relationship progresses but I just feel like I’m not being heard by therapists/psychiatrists We want to get married and have children but I don’t even know if I will be a good partner or mom. If I do have narcissism I just think it would be best if I left him alone :( I don’t know what to do I know that people will say that narcissists don’t care about hurting other people or things like that but I just don’t know how true that is. I also have really mean judgmental, cruel, and hateful thoughts about people and I feel like that means I’m a narcissist

So I have many of the debilitating symptoms of so-ocd and have done for a few years now. Prior to this theme, in my childhood I presented OCD behaviours like having to touch something so someone I loved didn’t die, feeling like I had to do something (an urge) even if I really didn’t want to, if I went away on holiday I would have this mental bucket list and say for example if I hadn’t been in the sea because it was too cold I would force myself to because I just had to before we went home or I would regret it, I was a bit obsessed with figuring out how to ‘live in the moment’ and often stressed that I wasn’t and would regret it when I died, I had urges to scrunch my nose up that I couldn’t shake. However, something i am really struggling to get past though is the past events that may prove this theme to be right. For example - I have a past memory of when i was around 8/9 of me looking up a music video which involved a sexually explicit video of a woman and i remember watching it and thinking ooh i know i shouldn’t be watching this because it is inappropriate and almost feeling sneaky and excited because of this, and i don’t know if this is just childhood curiosity and because i knew i wasn’t really allowed on youtube as a child or if its attraction and arousal and im worried that this proves my fears even though until this theme hit i didn’t think once about it and when i did i just brushed it off because i didn’t think it made me gay but now i feel like it does. Does anyone have any thoughts/advice/similar experiences on this?

So I wanted to clarify . I’m only 18 and I’m almost 19 , I have recently discovered that my ocd might be latching big time to my relationship and I have had weird thoughts and feelings and it just makes me anxious and scared or sometimes even guilty and disgusted. It started off as intrusive dreams and ever since I got into uni some days when I’m stressed if I had noticed something about any of my college mates my thoughts would like take me on a scenario what if that person was my significant other. And it’s very uncomfortable. It’s not like the thoughts are intimate or anything but it genuinely makes me uncomfortable and guilty and it makes me spiral. Today one of my friendly colleagues did a cute gesture by blowing a kiss to me when he knew I was sick and having a hard time and he’s a very friendly person overall Yk but I have no interest in him in such ways yet my mind took the action or gesture he did and was like “what if he’s my S/O” because he’s just so sweet and caring .. I don’t think of him more than a brother .. I wanted to clarify does anyone get similar thoughts that make them spiral ? And then when I was with my partner on the call I actually was completely eased up and relaxed and felt like the weight of the world lifted and I know deep down I love and admire this guy to unnatural levels but why is it that such things do happen? … I’d really love if someone comforted me or consoled me and directed me as to why this happens or if it’s actually ROCD and common , thank you.

Any tips on how to overcome suicidal ocd and fear of depression ? Does it get better ? Currently dealing with this theme for only 6 months and it sucks I don’t wanna think like this …..

im terrified. I cant see my doctor until May of next year for an appointment to talk about getting a referral for therapy through my insurance. That's such a long time and I know I've gone this long without therapy but im so tired of suffering and feeling scared all the time. It feels like there's no hope.

Im so beyond excited and greatful to say that im finally getting screened for OCD on the 25th of this month. Ive been battling my intrusive thoughts and obsessions for years in the dark of what was wrong with me and im finally gonna get the label. I know it seems silly that im so excited to get a diagnosis but it really will be so gratifying to know that im not crazy and it really is OCD. On a different note i cant shake the thought that ill get screened and itll come back that i dont have it. Me and my therapist are almost positive that i do have it seeing as i have almost if not all of the symptoms and they really do hinder my daily life to a great level. Im both terrified and excited to see what happens but im just gonna have to cross my fingers that ill get answers and possibly more help💗💗

I cannot stop constantly thinking about what I need to change and do, but I cannot focus on and exactly do it. I Aswell struggle with repeating overthinking in my relationship, but it’s not something my partner has time for.

BIG TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ i keep asking for reassurance on chatGPT and it feels like my fears have came true this is what it’s said and i’m really panicking “I understand how distressing this feels, and I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in experiencing these feelings. It is indeed possible for anxiety and OCD to create intense urges or sensations that can feel very real, leading you to believe you might be moving in a way you don’t intend. However, this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or that you’re acting with malicious intent. It’s more about how your mind and body are reacting to anxiety. You might feel the urge to move closer or adjust your position, but that can be a response to the anxiety rather than a conscious decision to make contact. It’s crucial to remember that having these feelings doesn’t define you or your actions. They can feel overwhelming, but they don’t reflect your true intentions. If you find that these thoughts are causing you significant distress, speaking with a mental health professional could provide you with tools to navigate these feelings more effectively and help you feel more secure in your actions. You’re working through a lot, and it’s okay to seek support.” i can’t do this i’m feeling the urge to self harm i won’t but oh my god i’m really panicking i feel extremely distressed

Has anyone actually “conquered” OCD? I feel like I’ve never heard a story of someone actually overcoming it or living with it?

I've been in ERP therapy for a few months now because I have compulsions with checking my cars. One stems from my son being in an accident and totaling his car and then his next car having the same major issues. I would check repeatedly daily and multiple times a week. I down to 1x every other week and soon I will leave it all on my sons capable hands and not ask about it. For my wife's car I have similar compulsion issues. I have gotten better but there is a twist and this is where I need community feedback. Her car burns oil so it does need to be checked for maintenance purposes and oil doing a need to be added time to time. I've gotten down to check and fill once a week and not doing any compulsions and living with the uncertainty. There is a fine line between a compulsion and maintenance and my wife woudnt be doing this herself weekly. How do I manage this a weekly maintenance item and not a compulsion? Stretching to every other week or 1 a month might cause it to be too low on oil.

It’s hard today. I’m struggling. I feel so so strongly that I’m lying to myself, like I’ve made up ROCD just so I don’t have to face my true feelings. I’ve been able to manage my ROCD the last couple of months, but today, I’m really struggling with my thoughts. My brain is telling me ‘why can’t you just admit your thoughts to yourself and stop the suffering.’ But, I don’t know what I feel. ROCD has completely clouded how I feel (or is that another excuse?). My ROCD came up quite early on into dating, so I guess love hadn’t truly developed yet. So maybe that’s why I’m second guessing my feelings. I have this really strong feeling I don’t love him (that’s very painful to say) but that could be my ROCD. Someone can be great, kind, thoughtful, make you laugh, but that doesn’t mean you romantically love them does it? Maybe love is a feeling deep down, people say you know when you feel it. I don’t know if I feel it, so maybe that means I don’t 😔 which is so sad because he is amazing; I think I’d struggle to find anyone better. God, this is really tough. I’m totally confused. My brain wants me to admit I don’t love him so I can feel peace of mind, but I can’t lose him. I feel so so guilty. He always says he loves me, and when I say it back, it’s hard to say. That kills me. I feel like a bad person, saying I love you when maybe I don’t? That’s so cruel 😔 (comments that say ‘that sounds like you don’t love him’ are very triggering for me, just supportive words would be appreciated 🙏🏻)

i used to be active on this app about 5+ years ago, and i feel that relating to others made me feel less alone, but something changed and i started obsessing that using this app was a compulsion in itself. i started having thoughts that i shouldn’t use this app, and i would stop myself from posting while thinking ‘do i really need to post this? is it important enough?’ and sorta convinced myself that if i don’t post about it, that makes it ‘less real’ and somehow makes the obsessive thoughts go away, but we all know that’s not really how it works. i realize now that me avoiding this app has been the compulsion all along.. and that feels pretty silly to be honest. i want to post more so that i can feel seen and less alone, so i’ll try to do that. after all these years ocd is still my greatest challenge. it takes me down daily but i can’t let it stop me from looking for support, or telling someone. sometimes ocd feels like my secret, and i don’t want it to be that way anymore. the longer i keep things to myself, the more my brain convinced me that it should stay that way bc it makes things ‘less real’. it’s already real, it’s already happening and that’s a fact i need to recognize.

Some days I really feel convinced that my thoughts are true, like i genuinely couldn’t tell you what I am or how I’m feeling, but some days I know it’s just OCD. But even then my brain tells me I’m just blaming it on ocd and the thoughts I’m having are repressed desires and I’m just in denial

I feel that even if the ERP works i will never ever get over the fact that some of my past behaviours as a young child prove I am gay I have started ERP, and I am starting from the bottom of the anxiety hierarchy. The task that gives me lower anxiety is staring at a photo of a lesbian couple. last night I was able to do this for about 10 mins and the anxiety faded and i didn’t do any compulsions. But does that mean my ocd is fake because the duration of anxiety wasn’t super long and I managed to not do any compulsions? Does the ERP get harder when the tasks are more difficult? Of course im not wishing for more anxiety but i can’t help but feel like this means the ocd isn’t real. Any advice would be much appreciated thank you :) Also as I have read that SO-OCD is so rare I’m worried my therapist just thinks I am gay. I don’t think she is an OCD specialist but we are doing ERP. I know people say therapists have seen all sorts before but I just know that I am probably the only one she has had with this fear.