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Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out to see if anyone else has experienced something similar with OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been struggling during moments of intimacy because intrusive thoughts, particularly ones related to POCD, feel so ‘sticky’—like they’re all I can picture. Even though I really want the thoughts to go away, they persist, and I’ve been trying not to avoid intimacy because of them. However, that makes me feel like I’m somehow ‘enjoying’ the thoughts or images, which I really dislike. It’s like my brain is playing this awful trick, and it’s leaving me feeling confused and gross. I guess I’m supposed to not let the thoughts bother me and continue as if nothing’s wrong, but I’m scared that by doing so, I’m almost training myself to get off to them or something. This fear makes it so hard to trust myself in those moments, and it’s been overwhelming. If anyone else has been through this, how do you handle it?

sometimes, to try and prove my fear wrong i’ll be like “ okay, let me think of this REALISTICALLY. would i REALISTICALLY feel this way or do this thing? “ then i come up with scenarios in my head on how i think i would realistically ( or logically ) do something but then my feelings go against that thing i thought of then i start getting anxiety and start to fear that i would actually want my fear to happen or that i’d feel a certain way that proves my fear true. it’s basically just checking how i feel about something i think of to try and prove my fear wrong, checking my emotions or checking how i think i’d realistically feel towards it.. but then i may react “ unrealistically “ it goes wrong and i freak out

Those of you who have overcome at least a bit, if not all, of your OCD. When you went through the CBT and ERP, did it feel like the end of the world? And how did you face the fact that your fears and uncertainties might actually come to life?

How long does it take for the intrusive thoughts to go away

Was wondering if anyone liked to share how they deal with Severe rumination and anxiety , as I’m always looking to Add to my tool box . Thanks 🙏

I remember days when just making it through seemed insurmountable. I remember moments when I didn’t know if I could go on. I remember going to the ER just two and a half months ago. Now I have my life back from OCD, and it was all worth it. While living with SI themed OCD has been a roller coaster, and I still have easier & harder days, I am excited to have my life back from OCD. I feel stronger than ever, and resilient, and feel competent to face whatever OCD throws at me. I would encourage you if you’re struggling, don’t give up, take it moment by moment. Have faith, ERP does work. You will experience that the thoughts become less frequent and less intense & you can live a meaningful life despite OCD.

Confused at best. Hoping someone else can share to give a little hope or advice? Here’s the deal. 2 years ago my husband found himself unemployed for a second time in a 2-year span. Both of his terminations were due to budget cuts/post-COVID restructuring. While I was able to sustain our family of five and had initially encouraged him to take his time a year ago we were at a cross-roads and I really needed him to apply more actively and in an in-person role if he was able (versus the remote roles he was solely applying for) Fast forward a year later, he’s still unemployed. He’s worked with unemployment agencies, has upgraded his job profile and resume on social media multiple times. I’ve offered my support emotionally, professionally, financially. Every path seems to lead to disappointment and it brings his spirits down further. I ask him what he’s applying for and try to see if I can help and he just yells at me or threatens to leave to go to his parent’s house. He’s accused me of being “bougie”, materialistic, etc. during this process and says I will never be happy with him. I’m embarrassed to admit I’m reaching the end of my rope with it, as I truly feel if I were in this position I would take a role immediately available (McDonald’s, etc) to provide for the family. During this process I have stepped up to even take a second role outside of my normal demanding corporate management job just to ensure we do not fall behind on our mortgage and bills. He seems to not really give too much during this time and hasn’t really offered to step up the chores at home (laundry, etc) and spends most of his days from 9pm-4am on video games, but blames our newborn son for his “sleeplessness”. I’ve calmly offered therapy sessions, have talked to him calmly and he just seems to not get it. Any guidance here?

Let’s make a list of workbooks, books, articles, podcasts that helped you or made you feel seen!

Has anyone else experienced moments where they find themselves on “auto-pilot,” checking or testing themselves without consciously intending to? I just had an experience where I almost acted in a way I wouldn’t, but during the moment, I didn’t feel any anxiety. It wasn’t until after I pulled away that I began to panic and felt really confused. It felt like I was testing myself, but it also made me question if I was close to actually doing it or if it was a compulsion I did subconsciously. It was a very strange and unsettling experience. I’m confused, scared, and in tears. Curious if others have encountered similar situations?

I want to ask questions about real event ocd and how do you tell the difference between real event that happened or if you see it in a distorted way. Im aware asking this from the internet its not the best idea cause everyonr has different views and it might spin me too... So this thing happened more than 5 years, i was still in school and i was on the bus coming home. Then an old lady sit next to me and started talking to me. It was annoying cause i wanted to be alone with my thoughts but i was nice with her. Then randomly she put her hand on my leg and on my thigh, and she said to me that "youre such a strong young man". Thats all it was, it was weird, i felt cringe, but i didnt thought about it. Now after years im really sensitibe to r*pe and s*xual abuse, i think because of ocd i became really sensitive to that. And now this memory came back and im questioning did i was molested/ sexually abused? I feel shame about it now yeah but thats normal, but im afraid of both ignoring this and not take it seriously, and also make it a problem when it wasnt a problem and i put more weight on myself. The feelings are still here and i need to deal with shame, but theres a difference between ocd shame and shame cause you did something or something happened to you. Cause in ocd i have to ignore the thought that screams "OMG YOU WERE MOLESTED", but if it really was that then i need to acknowledge that. So in this situation is hard cause now its like i have to put the decision on my views, on my feelings, and now because im more sensitive of this topic ofcourse i will feel like i was molested, but when im fine i will feel that maybe it wasnt that... I hope i can get some good answers

Let’s start with today. I went back to work today to the company I have been with for 22 years. I thought for the past couple of years that my job was sucking the life out of me…it was another three letter word…OCD. Today I drove to the office, interacted with coworkers, handled sharp knives, etc - all things I had completely stopped doing 5.5 months ago. In June, I started having repetitive thoughts and urges of suicide and was hospitalized. I had previously been diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and PTSD and then had MDD added on to that for suicidal ideation. After 5 days and some horrifying meds, I discharged, feeling worse than when I had arrived at the hospital. I took a medical leave of absence from work and started seeing two therapists a week and enrolled in a substance abuse program for alcohol. And I declined and continued declining for 3 months. During that time, I started having thoughts of hitting pedestrians with my car so I stopped driving. I had thoughts of slitting my wrists with our kitchen knives, so we locked those away. I couldn’t sleep and could barely eat. I could drag myself to my Zoom therapy sessions - that was about it. I had to switch to virtual sessions because I had thoughts of jumping off a 4 story building and no longer felt safe going into buildings with more than one floor. I couldn’t be left home alone so I would go wherever my husband was going and wait in the car. I had thoughts of throwing myself out of the car, smashing my toes in the car door, and throwing myself in front of cars. I had thoughts of jumping out of trees, drinking bleach and drowning myself. I would often lay on the bed in my husband’s office while he worked, just so I wouldn’t be alone with all of those terrifying thoughts. I even hid in my closet at times. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I had my first thoughts of killing my husband and son. That was too much and in a fit of rage and resignation, I attempted to take my own life to stop the thoughts and spare those around me. I was not successful and ended up hospitalized again. I finally admitted that I had been having thoughts of harming others and a social worker in the ER recognized it for what it was - ego dystonic OCD. After a not awesome second hospitalization, I went into a 4 week OCD specific IOP and therapy twice a week after that through NOCD. Proper diagnosis, treatment and medication turned my life completely around in 2.5 months. ERP every thought, all day, every day. Power of choice.

My OCD keeps telling me I don’t love my family more than anything, that I want them gone or want to leave them. But I love them more than anything and would never leave them. I’m scared God will listen to my thoughts and take them away from me or I might hurt them. The thoughts are so overwhelming that I have suicidal thoughts. I just want it all to stop. I love my family so so much and my soul is so tired of this. I don’t want them to get hurt because of me. I hate myself, I hate my OCD. I don’t know if I can deal with this anymore. Still, I know I probably won’t kill myself because I’m too afraid and don’t want to make my family sad. What should I do?

Hi, this is my first post. I am very nervous reaching out as I haven’t ever done so before publicly. I found out a year ago I had ocd and since then it’s been very clear that I have had it for a long time. I currently struggle with health ocd, death ocd, and I’m sure others as well, I always am scared I have or will develop an illness or schizophrenia. One thing I’m struggling with is depersonalization/derealization. I am under a lot of stress being in nursing school right now so maybe when I’m don’t with school I will feel better. Also I recently switched my medication to sertraline. I have been on it about a month and 1/2 but just increased my dose. It is worse when I first wake up. I am going to go see a therapist again once my PCP gets back to me with one that specializes in ocd. If anyone has had similar situations or recommendations to help me get back to feeling better that would be so greatly appreciated. I am also embarrassed to say I’m scared of getting schizophrenia. The obsessed with that began a year ago when I was taking psychology class. I became so afraid of getting it that I am constantly looking for signs or symptoms. It drives me bonkers. I would like to overcome that fear all together. Please give me advice. Thanks.

My ocd is ruining my relationship with my kids. Because of the intrusive thoughts I avoid being close to them, hugging or cuddling up to watch tv. My ocd is either telling me I wouldn’t care if harm came to them or it turns everything into something sexual or inappropriate. For example, my daughter wanted to show me how long her nails are so she started scratching my arm gently. It felt so nice and relaxing and I immediately panicked because I was scared the ocd would cause a groinal and I don’t ever, ever want a feeling like that connected with my child even though I know it’s the ocd causing it and not me i’d still feel horrible. I just want to be a normal loving affectionate mom and I can never be that for my kids because of ocd😪 I don’t see any other parents posting about going through this or commenting that they do and how they cope. I feel so alone and defeated.

I recently started medication as I have struggled with harm ocd. The thing is is that it’s not actually stopping the thoughts which I know is a given and it’s scaring me more without the anxiety (ruminating) and making me belive it’s possible. And I told this to my friend and she suggested anti psychotics This made me spiral because it made me think that I’m schizophrenia and no hate or judgment to people with schizophrenia it just scared me. I started worrying that I shouldn’t be around people and a horrible person ect I know reassurance is bad but I just need some advice bc I really don’t know what to do and I’m panicking

My mother is so difficult to deal with, she takes everything I say personally and start screaming at me saying I make her feel miserable and that my words hurt her, even if I didn’t say anything hurtful she just always feel attacked without any reason, my father used to tell me that my mother is insane and there is no hope she will ever act normal and understanding, yet what he did is leaving us and making a new family, I’m an only child with very intense OCD symptoms trying to deal with my mom who got no one but me, but it’s so hard I’m always afraid she might get crazy and kill herself or me, she even threatened me that she’s gonna kill herself while holding a knife to her neck when I was only 12 years old, and she makes jokes in front of my cousins about buying big knifes for cooking but she’s gonna kill herself with them instead, whenever she gets mad or gets a headache she act so insane, she starts crying, screaming, breaking things, arguing with herself, tearing up her clothes, beating herself up, and insulting god, she does all this since I was like 3-4 years old, but I still get so scared whenever she gets like this, I just hide in my room and put headphones until she finishes, but after that I always feel so disconnected from reality, and feeling numb, then she gets mad at me for being like that, I get nightmares about her getting fully insane and trying to get to me while I’m crying for my life and trying to call anyone to save me but no one answers, I’m so tired of this situation, I offered her to go to therapy but she got mad and felt insulted. I feel so lonely in this

Ive only been exposed to OCD since October 2024 and there are still a lot of questions i have. Can anything be a compulsion? Or is it only certain things? Does anyone have any examples they dont mind sharing?

It’s turning into this sort of real event OCD where I’ll remember something I thought of months or years ago and shrugged off except now I’m consumed by guilt and panic for not caring back then. Like the whole what if thinking that and not reacting or just being like whatever means I was really a terrible person and I just now grew a conscience? It’s not even past actions, it’s all about what has come to my mind before. I used to just be like “okay anyway” sometimes I’d let the thought play out and then just move on. But now I think I recognize them as intrusive and I feel shame and guilt for not caring to question them in the past. I think in developing some new theme or something if that’s what real event ocd is? Help?

Hi Everyone, Im new to the site and just wanted to share a bit about my OCD story. Between the ages of 10-12 i had my first OCD episode, (of course didnt know it was OCD), this came in the form of thinking of past events and other things and the anxiety got so bad i had to tell my mum, due to how frequent and how bad these thoughts got it upset my mum badly and the main thing i remember is her saying ‘are you just trying to get my attention!’… she took me to the doctors, i have no idea what was said because they sent me out of the room. After this i felt i couldnt speak to anyone about anything like this ever again. Ive had thoughts all my life which again didnt know it was OCD, it all just became normal to me, i had a lot of different thoughts throughout the years e.g i was pregnant even though i had not been intimate with anyone, any kind of blood i saw even from far away had given me HIV, the end of the world, if i wore the colour black to bed i would die, i had to speak in a certain accent in drama class one time or my family will die… the list goes on, some of these are will me now still. October this year i had a breakdown due to what i now know to be POCD… it got me to the point i didnt want to be here anymore… i finally spoke to my girlfriend about it who did some researching and said it must be OCD, after doing some research of my own it all started clicking and falling into place. I have good days, okay days and rubbish days, my thoughts have calmed down since going on SSRI’s, but they do pop up every now and again, i am questioning myself constantly though due to the thoughts going quiet, ‘is it actually OCD’, ‘what if it isnt’… its driving me insane… so yeah thats a bit about me!!

by having to remind myself "I'm not supposed to care about that" in order to try to fix my ocd thought patterns and it's like... the things I'm supposed to "not care about" is my whole fucking identity and everything that matters to me in my life. I'm basically having knives stabbed into my back constantly and being told that the way to solve that problem is to ignore it. Like okay I've been doing my best to ignore it for YEARS and it won't work, it's only been getting worse and worse, even if I get it to stop for a while it only ever comes back worse and every single time it feels like it COULDNT possibly get worse but it DOES. I feel like I'm just so tired and I'll never ever sleep. Like, I'm literally not even safe from intrusive thoughts in my dreams. It's everywhere all the time getting in the way of any chance I have to feel happy and I cope but I'm fucking tired of coping.