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I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years and before we went on holiday all I wanted was to get engaged (or so I thought, because people kept saying when are you getting married, when will you have a baby?) and I’m happy the way we are. Then on holiday my BF joked about buying me an engagement present and I had a panic attack and two whole days of worrying, “does this mean I don’t love him anymore, is there something wrong with me”, even picturing myself not being happy on my wedding day so my imagination went wild. I know deep down I don’t ever see a life without him but I feel pressured to follow the path everybody does and I’m just not ready to get married but I’m 34 and people (society) say that’s what I should be doing. I know that I do love my BF very much, we live together and have a pet, so I’m very much committed, but since then I’ve been having urges to ‘check’ I still love him, for example if we cuddle do I feel a certain way, or having constant thoughts in the third person like “she doesn’t deserve him, she is a bad person, she is lying, she doesn’t feel anything” and the thoughts whizz around constantly. I know that this is my condition but I have a wonderful relationship and I am turning cold and distant because I feel so depressed and empty most days. ?

Anyone here a high functioning person. I have always been a very busy, non stop working hard type. I always have a goal set for the near and far future. I’m always busy doing things like work or school too. I am always busy and doing something and when I stop the thoughts get SO much worse. I don’t relax because relaxing triggers bad thoughts of failure and laziness and not being good enough. I keep thinking that I can’t be struggling mentally because I am able to keep working hard every day. And therefore I must be making this all up. Can anyone relate to this?

For the last few days, my thoughts were so bad I was convinced I was delusional and or schizophrenia. Now my symptoms were very manageable. Has this ever happened? Also is this just what OCD does?

I told my therapist that I'm trying to accept the possibility that I'm gay and he told me that that's not going to make my intrusive thoughts go away and that I need medication. He's not familiar with ERP.

Hello, I have just recently been diagnosed with Pure O OCD and found this app by chance. It’s so amazing to see that other people experience similar things that I do. Now that I know about Pure O, so many things make sense. Thinking back over my life, I never knew so much aligned with OCD. I just figured it was cause of my severe anxiety and depression. Anyways, I’m glad I found this community. :)

Hey guys, having a rough one today. There's no need to report, I'm not feeling suicidal or self harming. But if I'm honest, the thought of giving up on life is a relief in some ways! This past 10 months I've dealt with so much shit, False memories, real event OCD, POCD, ROCD, Harm OCD, animal abuse...Gotta catch em all I guess?! Haha. I've been to the point where I wanted to end it, I think I just get out of there enough where I have some value to life, but don't fear it anymore. Just feeling a bit alone with my OCD at the moment, wanting to know there are others out there.

Does anyone have intrusive thoughts and false memories that are in first person and also third person?

My boyfriend is distancing himself from me and I’m in the middle of the most stressful time of my life with school, the distancing is really making me upset and my OCD is now skyrocketing when I’ve been doing so well for so long, cause idk what I did wrong or if it’s me or what’s up. He’s not one to talk about feelings .. I am just so lost and sad

Are thoughts supposed to be this intense?... I just don't get it. I simply don't want them but my brain keeps feeding them to me very aggressively and I just want it all to just stop so I can live a normal life ???

Sooo I just read an article that said a lot of people who think they have hocd are just strait guys who are worried they are turned on by gay porn. So do I not have HOCD? I see a therapist he seems to think I do, but could it be that he just wants my money???

so something that’s really bothering me rn is that when i told my mom about my hocd, she didn’t understand at all and she just said “you can make anything an ocd thing if you wanted to” and that she’s not so sure about this subtype because it’s pretty new and it started being talked about when LGBTQ+ stuff started being acceptable in society. that freaked me out. and i told her it makes me think i’m bi and she said maybe you are. and that freaked me out more and so i said well then why have i liked and had crushes on boys since a young age and never looked at girls the same way as i do guys and i always just wanted to grow up and have a husband and kids. and she said maybe this was because i grew up in a household with a mom and a dad so it made me feel that’s what i should have. but ik i always wanted a husband and kids before bc that’s what i wanted. not bc i felt like i needed to. but since hocd, my attraction left and before i always wanted a boyfriend and when hocd came, all that left. bc you lose attraction from hocd. and now that i’m getting better it’s coming back but still not fully there. and my mom also said that she thinks when your sexual orientation is something that likes multiple genders, there’s always a gender you like more and that could be why i’ve always liked boys. that made me really nervous bc it made me think omg what if that’s the case. and to be honest it doesn’t make sense because before i always thought how the heck does a girl like another girl like that. no, i’ve never been homophobic AT ALL. i completely support. it just didn’t make sense for me. but since hocd, there’s been all this doubt. so that’s it, lol i just wanted to share what’s on my mind and what’s bothering me.

i'm currently on Zoloft for OCD (only 50mg as when i tried a higher dose it messed with me) and Concerta for ADHD. i'm trying to figure out if i should switch meds bc of annoying side effects or if this is something i can fix another way. the problem i'm having with the Zoloft is like, this weird fatigue/brain fog. i take it in the evening bc it was even worse when i took it mornings, but i still get this period in the early afternoon where i feel exhausted and like i can't do anything but sometimes can't fall all the way asleep, only that weird rest-ish state. i also have trouble falling asleep and keeping a consistent sleep schedule and sometimes trouble waking up. Zoloft has definitely helped my ocd symptoms, but i don't know if it's working right for me. i've been on it since january so it definitely should have evened out by now. skipping Concerta actually seems to make it worse so i don't think it's the interaction. i've always had sleep issues and had some on my last med (Lexapro) too, but the daytime sleepiness isn't something i remember before and i've been feeling kind of numb/unmotivated and like my Concerta doesn't work as well as it should. basically i'm just interested in hearing other people's experiences with zoloft and if this specific fatigue thing went away for you. i would especially love to hear if anyone else is on both an ssri and a stimulant bc i know they can have weird interactions with ocd and my psych, to put it kindly, is clueless. also, would love some advice on good ways to tell if a med is working well, or signs you've noticed that mean it's a good idea to look for something else.

okay so i have hocd that makes me think i’m bi. and as of rn it’s telling me i’m bi but the reason i haven’t liked a girl or been actually attracted to a girl in that way is bc i’m bi but prefer boys. this is really freaking me out and idk what to do

Staying calm under fire Hey guys I have been doing really well the past 2/3 weeks in terms of obsessive thoughts. I had a crazy relapse and was able to get it under control and I feel great!! So here’s a few tips to help you guys better understand and manage your anxiety. 1. Become acquaintances with your anxiety Many of us try and push anxiety away or feel the urgent need to have it go away “now”, this only makes us more anxious when it doesn’t go away or makes us go back to compulsions to have it go away. So my advice is to become friends with your anxiety, next time it comes acknowledge it and say “okay you can stay here for now because I know you will go away soon”. Don’t try and force it away, just become aware of it and don’t judge yourself for having anxiety because it is not your fault and it will go away. 2. Visualization This technique has helped me tremendously. Next time anxiety comes visualize yourself in a calming situation. I think of myself being in the gym training or at the beach late at night watching the water. Now I know it can be hard to shift your thoughts from anxious to calming but we can do that, start off focusing on the breath, breath in and out and count each breath. I usually count 10-20 breaths and once I get there I feel pretty calm or at least calm enough to focus on the place I want to be. Engage the senses think about how that place feels, smells, tastes, that’s crucial with OCD because when we are in a rush things don’t feel real so if we can engage the senses and have some sort of objectiveness we are putting ourselves at the advantage. Hope this helps!! Good luck everybody if you have any questions don’t be afraid to reach out!

Hi! I have recently realized that I have OCD. I have, since my childhood made compulsions, but until now I haven't recognized it like a serious problem, since it is very disabling when my triggers occurs in my daily life. I have fearful thoughts about losing someone, or that something awful can occur to that person ( normally a close person) when he doesnt answer a msg in a while, or doesn't pick up the phone in a call, when I can consider that is a time that normally he have the phone, or that is not «normal» that at that concrete time he doesnt answer. A lot of unvolunteers thoughts and feelings of abandonment start to.pop up. Feelings that I live as it is actually happening in the present moment, or that may occur imminently. So the compulsions start non-stop, and I cant allow myself to.relax, even less to sleep, until I get an answer of that person and I confirm everything is ok. That have become really disabling and frustating, and carry with it mire problems that make things worse... idk if this is a common OCD thought or not, but I am sure that it is due to the obssesive thoughs and compulsions.. I have read about the EPR therapy, and I wanted to ask to this.community about RESPOND PREVENTION STRATEGIES and how it has worked for some of you guys. And may that can help. Thank you so much in advance, and i ll be very happy if I can help.in some way too :)

For the past 2 days I’ve felt like shit. Idk if it’s ocd anymore. I have tocd (I hope) and now I’ve literally just started to actually believe it’s not ocd. I’ve been feeling nauseous today and yesterday. Basically my brain is saying “there’s no proof you’re not trans just better accept it”. It feels like a genuine thought. I tell myself that I had compulsions it’s definitely ocd bla bla bla but it doesn’t work. I still refuse to believe it. Reassurance doesn’t do anything and I feel like I’ve stopped doing compulsions. I feel so numb and the thought doesn’t bother me anymore. I feel like I’m forcing myself to be sad because that’s the only proof I have of it being ocd. I feel terrible because I look back at my old posts and feel like I lied. I feel like my thoughts are so forced. Yet I can’t admit to myself that I’m trans. Every time I do it I have to say “no no no I’m cis” but I feel so FAKE. I don’t even think I was happy as a girl in the past but I don’t even remember. In the past a year ago I used to TELL PEOPLE that I was a boy!! I used to literally bind my chest (I think). I was such a tomboy. I fucking hate myself for this because I knew I wasn’t trans but now I’m not so sure. There’s SO MUCH PROOF. I need a therapist but my parents are so strictly against it. My mom found out I had the ocd app and she confiscated my phone (I’m writing this from my friends iPad). I feel so fake literally I was so SURE that it was ocd. I hate myself so much. I’ve dealt with harm ocd before but was that all a lie too?? I feel like I have no choice but to accept that I’m trans. What is this shit?? I’ve been trying to become more girly and I really like it (or do I??) and I’ve been trying to prove to myself that I’m not trans. I also think I have internalized transphobia because I had a favorite trans YouTuber and I secretly hoped he would de transition to reassure myself??? Help?!!!????!?!

anyone else ever just feel like their hocd is the one different one that’s gonna turn out to be true?

Some days it's just hard to get up out of bed because everywhere is in pain due to dryness from my finger tips till my elbows are full of cuts and blood, yet I still wash my hands and I want to give up so bad. The intrusive thoughts of loved ones dying comes and goes, I cried myself to sleep the other night but if anything does happen I know that I'll start drinking. I'm sorry but I just had to write this down.

Hi everyone!!! :) I'm new here and I can't wait to post and share and comment with this great community! I want to get to know yall so if you feel comfortable, I'd like yall to tell me about YOU and your experiences with ocd! Here are some questions but feel free to write about whatever youd like! :) Questions about you: 1. What makes you happy? 2. Would you rather visit outer space or visit the past if you had the opportunity, and why? 3. Anything else you'd like to share! Questions about OCD 1. When did you first get diagnosed with OCD/an OC spectrum disorder? 2. How long have you had OCD? What were some of your earliest memories of OCD? 3. Does OCD run in your family? 4. Which kinds of OCD trouble you the most? (i.e. disturbing images, compulsions, religious ocd, letter obsessions that prevent you from saying or writing a certain letter) 5. What are some triumphs that you've had over OCD? If youre new to treating your OCD, what do you hope to accomplish with your treatment? 6. Anything else about your ocd I would love to hear about as well! :) An important step to recovery is being able to talk about ocd so tall away! :) I can't wait to get to know you!

jeez i haven’t been on here in a while but like everything is so much and it’s just funny at this point how fucked everything feels. and i don’t even know who i am anymore and i can’t even say that i care if i do or not. idek everything is just so out of wack