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working to conquer OCD
So yesterday night I did the Nazi salute to compare it to the roman salute, at first I was arguing with myself that what elon musk did wasn't a roman salute so I displayed what I thought was a roman salute looked like. Then after that I did the Nazi salute, I never done it in my life and ever since I started learning history last year my minds been telling me to do it as an intrusive thought, but I never actually did it until now. I don't know why I did it and I feel horrible for doing it, the second after I did it, I felt horrible, I felt immediately guilty , someone pls help
i just wanted to give a little shout out to my somatic ocd folks â- i have it too! some people might call it âhypochondriaâ but i have a fixation with my heart. im young and healthy, but convinced iâm going to have a cardiac despite seeing a cardiologist and having a full evaluation. he tells me my heart is fine. with my ocd, my biggest fear is â what if i get so scared i have a heart attack? what if _____ happens, and then it causes me to have a heart attack from fear? i just want to remind you all that OCD cannot hurt you. whatâs in your mind and thoughts cannot harm your body. it can make you experience symptoms or panic, adrenaline and things like that, but OCD is not going to hurt you. and youâre not crazy! much love to this community â yâall are so strong!
i just wanted to give a little shout out to my somatic ocd folks â- i have it too! some people might call it âhypochondriaâ but i have a fixation with my heart. im young and healthy, but convinced iâm going to have a cardiac despite seeing a cardiologist and having a full evaluation. he tells me my heart is fine. with my ocd, my biggest fear is â what if i get so scared i have a heart attack? what if _____ happens, and then it causes me to have a heart attack from fear? i just want to remind you all that OCD cannot hurt you. whatâs in your mind and thoughts cannot harm your body. it can make you experience symptoms or panic, adrenaline and things like that, but OCD is not going to hurt you. and youâre not crazy! much love to this community â yâall are so strong!
does anyone else have an intense fear of developing schizophrenia or psychosis. This has been a really heavy theme for me as well. Iâm constantly checking to see if I have symptoms or if Iâm gonna go crazy or develop these. itâs so scary.
I'm really, really scared. I feel like my boyfriend and I went too far. We both belong to the same faith, and we've both committed from a young age to remain pure and chaste until marriage. And we've never had sex before, but we've talked a lot about it. And we've done things like laying on top of each other. Gently rubbing up against each other. He's kissed my chest. And I've send some pictures to him. Not nude pictures, but just ones that are a little revealing, and the guilt has been eating me alive. And of course, I know it's okay to feel sexual feelings, and it's good to have them and acknowledge them. They're vital feelings, and it's just us being human. It's a natural part of biology, and it's okay to be sexually attracted to one another, and to embrace that. It's something to be happy about. In our faith, we are cautioned against arousing sexual feelings in each other before marriage. And my boyfriend and I have absolutely done that, over and over again, when I've known better. Which makes me feel really guilty. Super guilty. I've struggled with scrupulosity for a long time. A really long time. And when I had a therapist who helped me to embrace my sexuality in a positive way, she really challenged my scrupulosity, and it helped me to attain a healthier view of the both myself and my standards, which is great. But in situations like this, I don't know if I'm dealing with scrupulous thoughts that are trying to make me fee feel guilty unnecessarily, or if I'm dealing with godly sorrow, like the kind of guilt that you feel so that you're urged to repent. And my boyfriend and I have kept an open dialogue about all of this since we started dating, and I think we've been communicating well, which is good. But we both agreed that last night, in particular, we really crossed the line, and I feel so guilty about it. We both agreed that this is a joint effort and that there's no blame to be put entirely on either one of us. My boyfriend has been really, really gentle about this subject, and I really appreciate his openness and honesty. But he doesn't see what we've done as anything to repent about. And even though he totally understands if I feel differently, I DO feel like we need to repent, both of us, not just me. He's open to hear any of my thoughts, even if they happened to be negative against him. And I appreciate that. But the guilt has been eating me alive. All the times I've made him moan on purpose because I like it. All the times I've let him talk so dirty to me. And the times I talked so dirty back to him. And I'm just comparing myself to other couples of our faith who may or may not have struggled, because obviously we're not the only ones to struggle. But we've done so much. We've talked so dirty to each other, and we're not even close to being engaged or anything. I just feel so filthy, and I feel ashamed for wanting to go further. A couple years ago, like I said, I had a therapist who really helped me to embrace my sexuality while also staying true to my faith. And I feel like I've really come a long way since then, but this feels different, because masturbation and embracing your own sexuality is different than teasing sex with another person. I just don't know how severe this really is. And I'm worried that I'll be reprimanded. I'm worried what would happen if my parents happened to find out. Not that I'm gonna tell them, but still, I'm really scared. I'd feel bad keeping this from them if it's really serious. I don't know what to do. I need to cry. My stomach hurts. I just feel all kinds of wrong.
If I cheated on my boyfriend or did something unloyal , would it come to mind 8 months later? Wouldnât I have felt and known about it and that it was wrong the second it had happened ? If I wasnât worried about it 8 months ago, should I worry about it now ? I have major ocd involving cheating and relationships and self doubt .
Do you ever have interactions with people and fear that during the interaction you may have cheated on your partner and can't seem to recall it? Sometimes when interacting with people I fear I cheated on my spouse with them afterwards. Mainly fearing I've kissed them and somehow instantly forgot. Just wanna know how common this specific fear may be
I think Iâve officially lost it today. I have completely convinced myself that Iâm not actually in love with my partner. That Iâm only with him for comfort. I struggle with trying to âfeelâ love. In past relationships where Iâm sure I didnât actually love them I idolized a version of them, it was an intense all consuming passion. With my boyfriend now itâs not like that and I think my obsession is also keeping it away. I met him on a blind date. It wasnât until our 3rd date and first kiss did I feel something and even during the dating I was obsessing if he was going to be good to me or not. At not one point during our relationship was I ever at peace or simply enjoying it. I feel something guilty about this. He has flaws and I amplified them as proof we are not right for each other. I hyper fixate on feeling of past relationships and if I feel for him those feelings. He is a wonderful person who doesnât deserve this, Iâm scared of working on myself too because what if I get better and then âyep I still feel the sameâ then Iâd have to leave him and that also sucks. My hurt on leaving him is the only thing keeping me tethered honestly because the thought of him being out there in the world and I not being able to talk with him kills me. I donât know what love is anymore or what Iâm supposed to feel. Iâm so ashamed of myself, Iâm crying in the bathroom stall at work feeling like I need to break up with him because itâs the right thing to do.
does anyone else struggle with this? is it actually OCD or am I just tripping??? Itâs like my mind tries to get the best of me, it tries to tell me I want something different from what I actually want or think a way that doesnât really align with me, my values or even lifestyle? Just me??
does anyone else get really vivid intrusive thoughts of the person who you are talking to (or close to physically) just randomly striking you violently? i keep getting them when iâm just talking to my dad one on one in the car & i get a flash of intrusive thoughts of him grabbing my hair & shoving my face in the dashboard. it gets me so anxious :â)
i just got diagnosed with ptsd on top of my ocd but my ocd is trying to convince me that i am lying to myself & my psychiatrist & that i am an âattention-seekerâ. i feel so embarrassed by these thoughts that its eating me up. my ocd makes me feel so invalidated from what i went thru that led to me being diagnosed with ptsd⌠does anyone else experience this?
Iâm a bit curious, Iâve come up with many ways to handle them, I donât have therapy, but how do yaâll deal with them? Is it normal to come up with other compulsions to kinda just tame them? Or to convince yourself theyâre not real? Iâve had different ways of handling them, but most times I get obsessed with the way of handling it or the thought that helps me beat the bad/concerning/thoughts to the point it just stops working and I need to find a more effective thought, compulsion or thing.
I keep getting these horrible feelings come back that make me feel down or like my life isnât the same. It feels almost like someone is holding you over the edge of a cliff and sometimes they pull you back and you feel safe and the next minute they dangle you back over and you feel like there is a big problem again. I feel like I canât forget how it felt it made me feel like Iâm actually evil and I wanted it and enjoyed it and I canât be normal now. I feel like I donât even know what I want. I try to forget and be normal but when I do it feels like how do I know I donât actually want to be evil because it felt like that? And now it feels like what if thatâs my true nature and Iâm denying it and that makes me feel like well if Iâm debating about whether I am or not maybe I actually do want it? I try to live normally but I canât because I have âthisâ problem. The thoughts were about stabbing and it felt like it was actually about to happen and I got this weird feeling that felt like I was suddenly really happy about it and discovered why evil people enjoy doing evil things and now I canât get over that feeling emotion?? Because now Iâm thinking how can I forget it felt like that?? And that feeling must still be there Iâm jsut not looking for it like maybe if I sat there imagining those thoughts again maybe that feeling would come back ?? I donât know what to do or who I am I donât even know if Iâm sad or if Iâm worried or if Iâm good or if I wanted that bad thing but that feeling has really affected me like I donât know if I want to he evil or not and now Iâm worried maybe I was impressed by that feeling what if I want that feeling again because it feels good what if because I felt like I was happy or enjoyed it now I want that again Iâm so confused ?? What if evil people enjoy it and Iâve realised why they enjoy it and now I want that feeling again? I donât know what to do
non explicit nsfw +18 i had a thought like "i should have never doubted that my lover is attracted to me" and for some reason it triggered me, i cant really explain it, but it made me feel like i have done/thought bad things when it comes to our sex life. like, it has happened that at times when they would tell me no i would feel a bit disappointed cus i really enjoy being intimate, but they told me many many many times ( since it's an obsession of mine and i asked for reassurance ) that i never treated them badly or made them feel hurt or obligated when it comes to intimacy. they would break up with me and not want me around in the slightest if I did. I still feel really worried even if I didn't hurt them, but im afraid that i have thought bad things or was toxic about it. idk
from the moment i wake up to the time i fall back asleep, my thoughts will not go a second without thinking about the same few topics. every second of every day for the past year i cannot stop thinking about my boyfriend. and no, not like "la dee da he's so cute!" no. it's the same thoughts of debating my feelings for him, convincing myself that im a lesbian but won't admit it to myself, convincing myself that i don't actually love him i just love the idea of a relationship with him. im disgusted with him but im passing it off as just i dont like that single flaw and thats fine. i can't stop. it's a broken record. my head is just a broken record. and for MULTIPLE YEARS pretty much since my ADHD diagnosis in middle school (i'm graduating this year) i haven't stopped thinking about mental health. relating every single thing in my life to the fact im neurodivergent. asking myself over and over if a thought i had or an action i made means im this personality, i have this mental disorder, because i have this traumatic memory that's influencing my choice. all day, every day, every second, multiple years. these thoughts are just constantly in my head. i want it to stop. i'm so tired of it. so absolutely exhausted. it's not even the compulsions or the anxiety, i just want the thoughts to end. all i could ask for, the thing i would give the world for, is to go a day without obsessively thinking these thoughts. to be able to experience a trigger but not be triggered. to be able to kiss my boyfriend goodbye and have my head move on to another topic for thought completely. to be able to hear a mental health topic be mentioned and not have the urge to explain every aspect of that topic, nor think about it for hours on end. be able to see random people on the street and accidentally make eye contact with them but not have to obsessively think of what their life is like, what they think of me, that they know i'm obsessively thinking about them and they hate me for that. i want to be able to see my ex friend around school whom im upset at the way things ended but not obsessively think about her and be disgusted and scared about those thoughts and her every move. i sound like a freak, i sound like i belong in a straitjacket, i know. i hate it too. so fucking much. i'm freaked out by myself, i know that if i were to share these thoughts at a podium i would be reported on the news and likely arrested because everyone around is terrified and will assume i will ever act. but i just want this to stop. i'm so desperately waiting for my next doctors appointment to ask for an up dose on my lexapro.
Fake memory ocd
I was on a walk outside and I saw a guy also on a walk and thought he seemed cool/attractive. Then I got super anxious and started wondering if he would be a better match for me than my boyfriend who doesnât go on walks or do outdoor activities frequently. Is this rocd or is this me deep down doubting if heâs the right guy for me/not wanting to be with him? I really canât tell and itâs causing me a lot of distress bc I do love him, but I know you can love someone and they can still be the wrong person for you or not the right fit long term and Iâm trying to distinguish if Iâm in denial of that or if itâs just my anxiety attacking my relationship with him. Any advice?
i saw my ex yesterday unexpectedly on the bus on the way home and it triggered me, we stopped talking abruptly and it didnât end well, i felt immediately guilty for feeling like that and i told my boyfriend. today i thought about it too and felt this strange unsettling feeling, i feel guilty even thinking about it, i just want to stop thinking and ruminating, i was like âwhat if i wanna go back with him? why do i keep thinking this?â and i felt horrible, i just want some rest, what do you suggest? does it happen to you too?
I am struggling to feel like I deserve any of the confidence I used to have. Iâve done a lot of pretty cool stuff in my life, and I used to think it was impressive. I was so proud, and I would light up when others gave me compliments. Now, it feels like all a lie, and I canât stop thinking everyone would hate me if they knew the terrible things Iâve thought or said or done. I make art, for example, and Iâve had a lot of success with it. But now, I feel like others would troll me or destroy my work, and then tell everyone that anything I touch is trash. Basically, I fear being bullied for the mistakes of my past â or even just for my thoughts. My therapist keeps telling me Iâm completely normal and Iâm the only one beating myself up, but my OCD says, âNo, sheâs wrong â you should stop pursuing your dreams and push away anyone who likes you, because theyâll all hate you eventually.â I know itâs ridiculous, but it feels so real. Anyone have advice for rebuilding confidence in the face of OCD?
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OCD doesn't have to
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