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any help is really welcomed and appreciated. I tend to hyper fixate on men outside of my relationship, they feel like crushes but I’m like 60% sure they’re meaningless dopamine rushes that happen with people I find interesting, friendship worthy, or physically appealing in some way. My hyperfixation recently shifted to a supervisor, not even an hour after meeting him :/ that’s fine, whatever, I can’t do much about it. I daydream and create like this drama romance in my head. Like good content for a movie or a book. Comparing it to that makes me feel less disloyal, and more understanding of why this might happen (I am a hopeless romantic, I adore stories). I’m home now and I was thinking of wearing a cuter shirt for work tomorrow because I went in an oversized hoodie today. This is a thought I had this morning before even meeting this man btw. But then my brain went to oh yeah I want to look attractive for this hyper fixation. It felt exciting to think that. I felt excited. Then the huge wave of dread hit me. I wanted to look good for another man? For a specific person? I can’t stop panicking I don’t know if this is normal, disloyal, a distortion, or what it is. I’m so confused. I felt happy when I got that thought. Maybe it was a dopamine hit or something I’m Colombian and we’re really big on looking our best 99.9% of the time. Even if it’s just to go to the gas station. I just feel so scared that I felt excitement over this one person. It’s extremely different for my boyfriend’s culture. Almost the opposite. I feel so disloyal and unworthy of my boyfriend. I doubt this was intrusive, it genuinely felt like me and I’ve had thoughts like that in the past. I just feel like a huge monster right now Please help :(

TMI!! Hey everyone, I was coming on here to ask if anyone has experienced this before! Im in an amazing relationship with my boyfriend so in this post I wanted to ask this question because this is how it felt to me! I remembered earlier today I was watching this movie, etc. and there was this spicy scene in it (iykyk) and it got me feeling some sort of way. This has happened before especially if I’ve played a game or watched a show with some content like this. I felt really in the mood and started to imagine my boyfriend and I doing those things together and I sort of decided to (yanno, the m word) hopefully everyone understands because I just don’t like saying the word😭, but I found that every time I do that, that’s when my ocd is at its worst/peak. Every time my mind has tried to convince me I’ve cheated, when I self pleasure. I get in the mood if I think of my boyfriend and I doing those things I see in movies, shows etc, and that’s when I’ll do it, But literally I realized after I’ve done that at times my ocd is at its worst because my mind will attack me constantly asking “Is this cheating? Does this make me a horrible girlfriend?” If I self pleasure, I also want to add that I mentioned it to my boyfriend at one time and he told me it wasn’t at all and that everything is okay, but constantly I feel guilty for it and extremely horrible. Just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this?

Woke up this morning feeling so good, then I had this thought of “what if” I touched my son inappropriately last night while I was sleeping. I’ve been dealing with Pocd and I never thought something like this before. A little back ground my son is 5, nonverbal and sleeps next to me every night. For me, I am not much of a deep sleeper. I am somewhat of a light sleeper. Is there someone who has been though this? In what ways can I manage this? TIA

tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.

My pocd makes me feel really lonely. I have friends who I love but they also struggle with mental health too, and when I'm there to listen and support them sometimes it's just too much and I feel like a bad friend. I can't help but feel like it's not the same, I know you can't compare your struggles to others but sometimes when my friend is telling me how they feel a lack of motivation and depressed I honestly wish I was just dealing with that instead of that and fearing that I'm a pedophile ontop of it. Like at least the thing you're dealing with isn't something that will make 90% of the population despise you, you know? I know that sounds bad and isn't very mature but I'm always the therapist friend for other people, and I'm the only one actually seeking help and trying to get better and I arguably have the worst thing to deal with. I feel like my friends only want to talk to me when they're depressed or need advice and I'm so tired of it.

So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.

So I have an issue..My roomate doesnt wash her hands after going to the bathroom.And this trigger my ocd so much.I told my mom and she said she can transmit anything.She told me to talk with her...But idk how.I want to move and go to other room and idk how because we moved togheter because she had a troubling roomate.And we are collegues at university.I want to talk with her but idk how...she will ask herself what she did wrong and she is already in a bad state.She will ask me over and over and get upset

Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.

I don’t understand how my boyfriend can love me so much after everything I put him through. He constantly shows me how much he loves me, yet I feel like I can’t fully appreciate it. I can’t explain how badly I behave towards him when these thoughts take over, how often I lash out because of them, and how many times I’ve told him exactly what’s on my mind. He tries to use logic to help me, but it never seems to work. And now, even as I’m writing this, I feel like crying—yet at the same time, my mind tells me that I don’t care. This horrible feeling inside me won’t go away. I keep thinking, “What if I don’t like him?” That thought is always there. I wonder if I had unrealistic expectations about this relationship from the beginning, since he is my first boyfriend. What if I convinced myself I liked him just because I wanted my first relationship to be perfect? And now, I just can’t accept the truth? It scares me even more knowing that he moved to my city for me. I feel like I’m constantly upset, constantly sad. And despite everything, he’s always there for me. That makes me feel even worse because I don’t know what to do to feel okay again. Every time I talk to him, I get this strange feeling inside me, and I’m terrified that it means my thoughts are actually true. He tells me that my happiness shouldn’t depend only on him, that I should focus on more than just this relationship—because for over a year now, my mind has been stuck in an endless loop of questioning whether I love him or not. He asks me, “Who are you fighting? Why do you care so much? You’ve been asking yourself the same question for over a year—shouldn’t you know the answer by now?” And my response is always, “Because I want to be with you.” But then, when I try to answer whether I like him or not, more doubts take over. I start thinking, “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him. Maybe I just want to keep this relationship perfect.” The worst part is that he has never done anything wrong. He has always been patient, kind, and loving, yet I feel so lost. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand what I feel. And I don’t understand why I can’t understand what I feel. He also tells me that ever since I started reading so much about relationships and OCD online, I have gotten worse. And he’s right. I have become much worse than I was before. The problem is that before, I thought I was at my worst, but looking back, I was still able to feel happiness at times. Now, I feel completely stuck. I don’t know if I’m crying because I hate this feeling, or because I don’t want to think this way about him. It feels like I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.

If anyone is free I really need to talk. I’m panicking

Hello all, I delayed a compulsion today for 5 hours, but my anxiety never went down. It kept getting worse and worse until I finally did it. Is this unusual? Is this normal? How long of a delay is typical for it to go down naturally?

I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.

Sorry guys for not being on 😅 I was in the hospital because I couldn't walk. I've been diagnosed with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). I'm sorry for any worries I have caused and not being on to help. Please have a wondrous day.

I would love to have some insight in this in general I deal with thoughts but for me it is the feelings that make ocd this difficult The feeling of disgust for my partner, the feeling of wanting the content of the thoughts , the feeling that this is the real me , the feeling that i am lying to myself and my partner, the loss of attraction,... Because when i write it like that ,that that these are feelings, it seems very much that i am just in drnial and i am bi but i cant love men anymore, or that i am not attracted to my bf and so on

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusingggg

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

does anyone else get really triggered when watching stuff to do with serial killers, p3dos, r@pists etc. I literally start to compare myself and check to see if i share any qualities with them. Ita really scary cause i really like this show Criminal minds, and i absolutely adore the characters, but its hard watching something i like cause of all the g0re and stuff. Not to mention all the thoughts that are convincing me i like the horrible stuff. Someone tell me if tou relate..

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

Without trying to seek reassurance, I’m wondering if anyone has insight on identifying an intrusive thought vs reality. Something that’s always really helped ground me in moments of false memory ocd is clearly remembering the exact moment the thought arose and how it started as “what if I cheated and don’t remember.” Then the images come and are extremely distressing, but I’ve always found some comfort in coming back to that moment of “this started as what if.” It feels like my brain is almost getting more creative with the thoughts now, and I’ve been having probably the worst anxiety of my life the past couple months after another intrusive thought entered my mind. I woke up after a night drinking and thought to myself “did you kiss your friend and don’t remember?” (Didn’t happen, undeniably proved). The rest of the day I stayed anxious about other things I could have done and poured over all my memories of the night. Then the next day I finally had found some peace based on all the evidence from my friends who were with me that nothing bad happened. I then thought “what about when you went to the bathroom,” which I hadn’t really been thinking about before, and then my mind immediately started flashing with images of me performing sex acts in the bathroom with some person who has no name, face, details, or anything I remember about interacting with them. I think I’m just concerned that this was a moment of genuine memory recall since I hadn’t been thinking about the bathroom before, and it was more of a sudden flash of images and “did you do that” vs “what if you did that.” I’m wondering how others are able to identify that something is an intrusive thought vs reality.

My blood has never boiled this much than before. I genuinely wanna throw hands at someone and just scream. My parents always ignore my feelings and shit and always make me the bad one. I can let my shit out around these motherfuckers. My college plans and basically what I dreamed of is fucking destroyed. Nobody fucking understands the shit I have to deal with. It’s always on me. All the damn time. I fucking hate everyone. And whenever I try to fix myself for the better, surprise surprise, EVERYTHING ALWAYS FUCKS UP Everytime i try to vent, they never respond or never understand or it always turns back on me. My heart is beating so fucking fast. I can never enjoy anything with this shit.