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the NOCD Community

I need a therapist who specializes in Pocd I’m struggling please tell me how much can you discount me because NOCD doesn’t take my insurance

So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?

so right now my HOCD feels EXTREMELY LOUD AND STRONG, ive been trying nonstop today stating how im allowing to feel all the thoughts and feelings and let them be here for as long as they want and not figure it out, engage with it, just allowing it to be here all day long if it wants, and it has, but the EXTREME hyperfocus is there and it feels so real and feels so loud and strong that im focusing on it and trying to move on to others but cant. Ive been trying say only once that"Its just my OCD, these thoguths feelings, sensations and doubts are not me, im going to allow it to stay here as long as it can" but that doesnt work, its like as if im full of shit and i know it. ive been trying to just saying"oh well" or "cool" not caring, but im still hyperfocus on it, wtf?

After having sex for the first time I felt all loved up and wanted to hug partner. I was changing his bedding and walked passed his bed and my Pocd said to make my leg brush past the bed for a feeling over kids and I did it… because I wanted the comfort of the feeling… But why did I do it…. I was feeling hor**/wanting comfort and did it even tho my brain said over children. I’m freaking out help

Anyone else struggling with reading their bible or having a certain feeling to feel like God loves them and if they don’t it ruins their whole time with God. Makes pursuing him really hard. Any tips ?

just been to therapy and i was explaining my contamination ocd and says i don’t diagnose ocd but this doesn’t seem severe enough? so now im spiralling am i just lying to myself and im just a freak. does she mean my other ocds aren’t real either? i’m just honestly so upset. need advice please im just spiralling so much i take medication for ocd and basically have every symptom and subtype of ocd:(

Does anyone who has gotten better/healed with OCD ever experience that their thoughts and urges get more difficult as you get better. I feel like I am getting better at handling certain things but I feel like now newer themes and such get more difficult as I progress. I was curious if this is kind of the process to getting better. Weirdly, like it makes sense the closer you are to getting better thoughts become worst and stronger since you are doing better. Just need to keep on pushing and doing what I have been. Let me know, would love to hear your guys thoughts and feedback

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I honestly feel so overwhelmed by my thoughts—so overwhelmed that I honestly don’t care anymore. I feel like I’m accepting the fact that I’m a monster and have always been a monster. I broke down last night because of these thoughts but I wouldn’t tell anyone if they asked. It wouldn’t make sense to them. This morning, I was watching a body cam video and the person that was arrested was traumadumping about their past SA. I felt like I liked the thoughts and images I got from it. And instead of being disgusted, I let it happen. What does this mean? Does this mean that I’m a monster? Am I a just a monster in disguise?

Hello, i have very severe contamination ocd, and as i am writing this i feel my hands are dirty lol, but anyways i wanted to know if there’s anyone specialised in Contamination ocd? No matter what type because i really need help and i looked up things but it doesn’t help please!!

So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?

Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.

I’ve seen wayyyy too many negative posts on here (I totally get it)…but can someone please share some positive experiences? Doesn’t have to be so grand, it could be just that you achieved a small goal with your ocd! I don’t want to continue feeling drowned by this debilitating disorder. I want to see what has helped some of you! So we can all encourage each other! 😊

Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.

(I work at a bank, this is my first full time job. I am in the teller drive through and this is my second week, I am also the youngest and least experienced employee of this branch.) We were extremely busy, there’s only me and one more employee in the drive thru. There’s 3 cars in each line waiting, and I’m overwhelmed and sweating. Spot 4 sends up the tube, and rings for assistance. I speak into the mic to her spot, “I’ll be right with you!”. She begins to demand something but i turn off the speaker because I told her i’d be with her soon and I don’t have time rn. I jokingly say to myself “Girl i said i’d be right with you”. My coworker (who has previously called customers b**ches behind their back) says “that isn’t how we speak about customers, we just remind them again that we will be with them in a minute”. i say “sorry” and speak to Spot 4, “I’m so sorry ma’am there’s a couple ppl ahead of you, I’ll be right with you”, she starts screaming and cussing me out, saying “IF YOUD LISTEN TO ME YOU ****” etc etc “I NEED TO DEPOSIT THIS NOW” i say “okay ma’am”. i’m bad at confrontation, im sweating and on the verge of tears. i finish my transaction and her tube comes back with a 7” stack of u organized and mutilated bills and 3 different deposit slips. I panic, i’m new, the amount is over my drawer limit. i say “i’m not comfortable doing this lady’s transaction, i don’t feel ready, can i watch you do it?” my coworker says “no you can do it”. it’s already 30 min past my shift ending, i haven’t balanced my drawer, i closed last night and opened this morning, im running on 3 hrs of sleep, and i haven’t eaten in 2 days. Spot 4 is ringing again to demand me to hurry up. i start tearing up and looking around for help, i finally grab someone’s attention, and they help me thru the transaction, but it was obvious they were annoyed. i can’t stop rethinking this and thinking i made it all up and im just an idiot. what did i do wrong???? ive been having a panic attack for 2 hours since my shift ended, im in hysterics, it feels like im doing compulsions extra due to the stress

Really need input. I have been suffering with doubts and thoughts since November. I saw a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD and have been in OCD medication for a couple months now. The meds have helped drastically with the frequency and urgency of my thoughts. But over the last week or so they have increased again. I did just get laid off from my job so I’m not sure if the stress from that has anything to do with it. But I’m at the point of questioning whether it really even is ROCD or if I’ve just been using it as an excuse to not see red flags. For example, my doubts are mainly around his contribution to chores, our quality time and romance, and how much of the load he will carry in the future once kids and things come into the picture. He is a hard worker who works long hours. He does also have ADHD which I think could be important to know here. But he will often say he is going to do little things like “Wednesday we will play a game together that night” and then they day comes and he ends up being too tired to play or just wants to watch our show together instead. And then if he doesn’t do a chore on the exact day he’s supposed to I start thinking he doesn’t care or doesn’t keep his word. I feel like I’m constantly asking for dates or romance or him to say sweet things. And I know sometimes he does. But at this point I can’t tell if it’s genuine unmet needs or if ROCD is making me not see the positive things he does or if ROCD is making me think I need more of these things because of unrealistic expectations or comparisons to social media. I think I know deep down I love him and want to be with him but then I start to think that I’m being treated wrong or that I’m settling. Please help.

I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?

I dislike being neurodivergent ☹️🥀. Why do people keep exploiting my vulnerable points. He lied to me but he said he would never lie to me and I don't tell lies and never lied to him + he exploited me sexually, financially, mentally and emotionally (I can't bring myself to write everything because I can barely comprehend how he could do that to me). He told me he never liked me and was manipulating me prove I'm stupid and autistic. He didn't tell me since, he lied he loved me. This happened on Monday and I haven't been able to put it into words fully or tell someone. He coerced me to send nudes, money. I said no but he coerced me over and over and I knew I could have refused but he coerced me over and over. I'm 17 turning 18 and he's 20. He said he never liked me and was playing with my head because he guessed I wouldn't be able to tell especially because I'm autistic. This is not the first time I'm being emotionally abused and more than because I'm neurodivergent. I'm just on my bed stimming with my feet while tears drop from my right eye. Another day that makes me wish I was better are reading social cues. I don't even know how to tell people because they could blame me😭. I'm devastated, I loved him and still do. He's a predator.

Been struggling with existential OCD lately. Very hard to describe the thoughts/feelings, but it is a constant feeling of being stuck in my head. Like what is consciousness and where do I think from? Like I think it’s OCD, maybe it is maybe it isn’t. But if it is, what would be good ERP exercises? Just existing (lol)? And what would be my response prevention? I’m not even sure what mental compulsions I may be doing.

TW: Philosophical, Worry Does anyone else start to feel anxious at the thought of “what if OCD becomes fake one day?” In other words, “what if OCD gets debunked in the future?” Not trying to scary one just curious