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I don't really know much I just know I'm suffering everyday

I just started doing therapy my own for ocd and depression I was feeling sad earlier I get those thoughts like again this sadness when this gonna stop I m tired I don’t want that feeling then I get the urge to fix this feeling is this OCD the needing to know how long gonna last or the wanting to fix it and make it better

Some one please help me. My OCD is phobias of lice and scabies. I feel like I’m always going to catch it. I stayed at a Disney hotel last week and now I have a bump on my hand. Doctors have said you can get them from hotels. Is this scabies starting or is this something not to worry about and it’s just my OCD taking over.

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

I always have fears about getting fired from work and constantly rechecking my old work. I think about 24/7 and how im going to make an enormous mistake that ruins the company and gets me fired. Then, if any type of mistake does happen I let it ruin my day. Ill look back at the past mistake and beat myself up over it. Any suggestions for mindfulness approaches?

My husband and I have 3 kids.. ages 13, 7 & 1. Our 13 year old has always been somewhat “different”, even as a toddler. He was very quiet and socially awkward. Not much has changed in that department. He isn’t into sports and has a very hard time finding anything at all that interests him. He doesn’t have many friends as he is still awkward and has a hard time fitting in. He has OCD. Specifically moral OCD. He feels like he has to confess everything to me that he feels isn’t appropriate. Curse words he hears on tv, something off-color that he or his friends said at school, anything sexual he hears on tv or in a joke. He laughingly tells me but he is reading my face to gauge my reaction on the subject every time. We tell him constantly that he doesn’t have to confess to us but, of course, those who know much about OCD know that this is harder than just simply telling them they don’t have to give into their compulsions. He is very anxious and worries about everything. He also has inattentive ADHD so he’s currently on medicine for that but can’t tell if it’s actually helping anything or not. He’s on anxiety meds too that we are trying to assess. Honestly, we have also wondered if he may be on the spectrum but high-functioning. Not sure. We are very worried about his future. He is not maturing and doesn’t care to learn how to better himself since he’s getting older. Anyway, now that I’ve given a little background, my reason for posting is that I wonder if we have created all of this. First of all.. I am a hovering mom. Im very overprotective and have a hard time letting my kids do much because I’m anxious myself. I grew up with a yelling mom and stepdad. Sadly, I have resorted to this trauma behavior much of my son’s life as well. I try my hardest not to lose my temper and yell but, I am very ashamed to say, that I haven’t been able to do a very good job with that. I have been overly critical also. Learned behavior. I will add that we are also a religious family that goes to church and follows the Bible. My husband was raised differently. His parents are very mild mannered and calm. Very sweet with my husband and his sister growing up and they aren’t “yellers”. They live out in the country and are very lax about many rules when my children go out there. Not that they let them do whatever they want but at the same time… they do seem to have a hard time saying no. My sister in law and her family live across the street from my in laws so they’re all out in the country together living their peaceful, carefree life. 🙄 They seem to think that my husband and I have brought all of this on ourselves with how we have so many rules and boundaries. They’re of the mindset that we should be exposing him to movies with curse words and letting him hear innnapropriate things and curse words more. This is how they parent their 10 year old (who is homeschooled so.. in my opinion they don’t have to worry so much about him repeating the curse words at school. We are at a Christian, private school where I also teach so it’s a bigger deal making sure my kids don’t hear those things and repeat). Anyway.. first and foremost, I’m looking for advice on how to reverse the damage from me losing my temper these last 13 years. I swear I am trying my hardest and strive everyday to be a good mom. I want so badly for them to WANT to keep a close relationship with us when they become adults living on their own. But I am so scared I’m ruining them. Does it seem to be the case? Also, do you think we have caused this OCD? Be honest with everything please. I am constantly very worried we are doing this wrong.

I’ve been really struggling with obsessing on the though that I somehow got exposed to rabies without my knowledge. I live in an older home and my mind keeps telling me somehow a bat got in without my knowledge, even though I have no reason to believe so. I also own a cat and I’ve also been struggling with what if he got exposed because of this “bat”.

We still don’t know what happened to her. Young, healthy, vibrant. I have so many thoughts…I want to know what happened to her. She is the one I would go to for times like this. I feel selfish as well. I’ve been seeing her for ten years. I can’t imagine starting over. So many strong OCD issues that she helped me through. I have lost an important person in my life. My heart and prayers go out to her family.

This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.

Is it normal to analyze every thought & feeling you have? For example. If I had a feeling like I wanted to flirt or if I felt like I wasn’t sad when my partner left for the night ETC. I over analyze these and they lead me to thinking I’m a bad partner or it’s not the right relationship. This scares me so bad Is this basically ROCD in a nutshell? It feels so overwhelming when thinking about all the different feelings and thoughts I’ve had over time

I’m 21. The 3 year anniversary of my graduation from high school is soon. Lately, I’ve been worried about where I’m going in life and if it’s even worth it because I don’t know why I exist or what my purpose is After graduating I lost a new job I loved due to poor management on my boss’s side, they failed to teach me my job then fired me for it, and moved from my mom’s house into my dads house due to issues with my stepdad, both of which put me into a depression. I got a new job 3 months later. But ever since being fired and moving out, I feel like I’ve been in a depressive cycle of Eat, Sleep, Work, Repeat. I’ll get home and doomscroll for hours, and occasionally play games with friends at nights. Occasionally I’ll do my hobbies but usually feel guilty for it. I don’t see my friends and family nearly as much as I used to. I want to, but it feels like everything I want to do, my intrusive thoughts find a way to keep me at home. “It’s a waste of time.” “You need to be productive on your time off or you’ll go nowhere in life so stay home.” But then if I stay home it’s “you need to go out and do something.” “You’re being unproductive sitting at home all day.” “Seeing them wont make you feel better, you’ll never be happy” My girlfriend lives 6 hours away and is usually the only time I’d go outside and live and feel in the moment, but even then I’d feel guilt. I feel like my OCD makes me feel guilty for everything. She’s helped me a lot, but lately we’ve had a few issues we’ve worked past that made me fear for losing her too. I’ve felt depressed for years now. Before being fired, I usually felt pretty good and was almost normal feeling. I’d had control over my fears and intrusive thoughts of suicide and the meaning of life, and had accepted them and wasn’t afraid. I knew it wasn’t me. But lately I’ve been trying to push myself out of this depressive cycle, and it’s made my OCD and fears of suicide and if life has meaning, come right back. I’m handling it slightly better, but it’s still hard. I just want to move past this and stop questioning why I’m even doing anything, if I want to end it all, when I know for certain I don’t want to and that I get to make my own meaning in life. I have dreams, I want to get back into art. I want to move in with my girlfriend eventually and start a family. But my OCD makes me so scared to even try to make art, and it makes me so scared I won’t be happy or content with my dreams. I feel so alone and sad. I feel like life will pass me by while I’m stuck feeling this sad and scared. It sucks, but I’m trying my best to get there. Gotta keep moving

I’m so scared. Part of me feels ok and part of me feels like I need to clean everything off. Basically my sweater had a stain on it from food it was newly washed but I decided to throw it in the wash again. While throwing it in the laundry basket I noticed a specific type of clothing that scares me. I quickly put the sweater on top of the used laundry and left. My phone was in the living room and I’m pretty constantly scared it will get contaminated by laundry I’m not sure why but that fear started randomly. Anyway I had to walk past the living room to wash my hands in the kitchen because someone had to use the bathroom badly and was waiting for me to just throw my laundry in to go to the bathroom. Anyway I’m scared I went near my phone or contaminated it with my hands. I can’t remember the details fully either but I just remember walking straight to the kitchen but I don’t know. I’m really scared and I want to clean everything like my phone and everything it was near. The thing is my fear is real because used laundry is so gross. What do I do? When throwing clean laundry in a basket should you wash your hands? Do most people? Even if the article of clothing isn’t dirty? Because maybe my hands accidentally went near the actual gross laundry I don’t know

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

So I just had like a huge breakthrough. I often look for a feeling when I’m with him. And when I don’t I freak out mentally and it’s weird it’s hard it figure out why. But I was like doing my exposure and thought you know I choose this. I don’t need to do anything about this feeling I choose to love him on facts not feelings. So this doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING, I choose to love him despite knowing he’s not super conventionally attractive. It’s my choice , “what if I really don’t wanna be though” no it’s a choice that can’t be true if it’s a choice that means I do really want to be with him bc I’m still choosing him. If I didn’t wanna be with him I wouldn’t be with him and have no reason not t be. It’s a choice despite how you feel Evry day.

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a difficult situation and I wanted to ask for some advice. I recently finished my studies and I am living from my savings while I look for a job. However this process has turned out to be a lot more difficult and tedious than I expected. I suspect I have OCD as I relate to a lot of the experiences described here, in particular those corresponding to pure OCD. I have continuous intrusive thoughts about how what I'm currently doing is not enough, I constantly need to reassured that what I'm doing is right, with some magical thinking and concerns about my relationship sprinkled in. These intrusive thoughts have made it very difficult to make any significant progress in looking for something. Added to this I'm not even sure I have OCD as I don't have the money to afford therapy right now (my mind keeps telling me that it's silly to write this message because there's no way I have OCD). I live in Switzerland so as far as I understand my insurance won't cover sessions with NOCD. In conclusion I'm a bit stuck, therapy would help with finding a job but I need a job to get therapy. If any of you have had any similar experience and have some piece of advice it would be very welcome.

I’ll never forget November 10th, 2024 ,the day everything changed. It felt like my mind broke. A single, terrifying intrusive thought spiraled into a storm that made me believe I was losing my sanity. I spent hours doom-scrolling Reddit, joining Facebook groups, seeing doctor after doctor and being misdiagnosed over and over again. Then, in January, I saw an ad for NOCD. Something inside me, told me to give it a shot. I was terrified, but I committed. I showed up for myself and faced my fears through daily exposures, even when every fiber of me wanted to run. I remember reading stories of people who had overcome the same theme I was struggling with. They were conquerors and I felt like a lost cause because my progress felt slow. But I kept going. I kept showing up. I refused to let fear win. And now? I’m not perfect. Some thoughts still come and go but they no longer control me. I’m living again. I’m doing the things I never thought I’d be able to do again. If you had told me in January that I’d feel this free, I wouldn’t have believed you. To anyone who feels like they’re too far gone, you’re not. Keep showing up. Keep doing the work. Healing isn’t linear, but it is possible. And you are so much stronger than you think. The best way that kept me going was this line that i saw from an OCD YouTuber. “ ERP is like going to the gym, if you go just one day for 5 minutes you are not going to be fit and buff just with that session, you have to show up put in work and build muscle , stamina etc. “ I hope this helps to whoever is reading.

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

First I must say I love children and harming one sickens me. So if you don’t understand pocd please don’t commment. Ive only ever been drunk around children once at a house party , my ocd then convinced me I could’ve assaulted them the next morning as my memory was patchy…I haven’t let this go for YEARS. I didn’t even know what I did? 6 years later I have this whole story, based off an intrusive image I had but still don’t really know what I did? Every waking day of my life I’m trying to figure this out but I’m getting more and more confused. I’ve found clues, coincidences , things I believe could be evidence but isn’t really? I’m mixing in reality and false images….My therapists (I’ve had 3) all say this is false memory ocd? But mine feels different? Mine feels worse? Anyway I need a break.

I woke up disassociating really bad ,I was super tired and if you read my prev post I've been having problems w depersonalization after a bad thc trip the other night. Im so so so scared I just said a slur or whispered it to myself because I cant properly remember things rn. I remember getting the thought and im scared i whispered it to myself and I cant tell if it happened or not bc waking up things feel rly blurry . It feels really real. I would never want to say such a word and im scared i did bc I was so out of it. I dont remember if i just had the thought or acted on it

How can i 100 percent ocd is lie? How does ocd always lie?